That Third Class SOLDIER

Chapter Three: Calm People are Irksome

Written By: Okami of Shinobi Saru Corp

"Hey, you need time to breathe too you know," I advised while watching Yu chug down five glasses of water at an incredible speed.

"Sorry!" Yu grinned as he put down the last glass. "I'm just really thirsty!"

I smiled - a hard thing not to do when in the presence of Yu. He just had that effect on people with his wide, childish grins and innocent brown eyes.

"Nothing to be sorry about," I stated. "It's not a surprise that you're so thirsty after the training we just went through."

The boy nodded in agreement. "Commander Rhapsodos really likes to push us, doesn't he?"

I scoffed. "You're not being accurate, Yu. Mr. Crimson doesn't simply enjoy pushing us, he enjoys incinerating his students while laughing at them like a wild mad man."

Yu laughed a bit before switching the subject. "Hey, how's your chin doing?"

I looked up from my blueberry muffin. "My chin is doing slightly better, thanks."

Delicately I touched the bottom part of my face with a small bag of ice, wincing once the cold exterior of the bag made contact with my skin. Had it been really necessary to hit me that hard? Last I checked, falling asleep after being rudely woken up at 5AM in the morning was not a crime, nor was it a logical reason to kick someone in the jaw. But then again, this was Rhapsodos we were talking about, and nothing about that insane individual was remotely close to logical.

Just then Quincy walked over to our table, a tray of food in hand, and sat down. I could tell by the way he was rubbing his forehead and the lines etched into his face that he was royally ticked off.

"Did they finally get to be too much for you?" I automatically asked, not even pausing to think of the consequences of speaking with an angry Quincy.

Thankfully the teen merely sighed and then shifted his glare towards me. "The other members of our squad have a combined IQ that is lower than a retarded Chocobo. Kyle is tolerable I suppose, but even he annoys the hell out of me."

I nodded my head in agreement while taking another bite out of my muffin. For the next few moments there was a lull in the conversation until Quincy suddenly leaned his head in close to mine and asked in a calm yet devilish voice, "Gavin, may I ask you a question?"

I gulped and then squeaked out a timid 'Sure!'. This was the first time I had initiated a conversation with the sadistic teen and I was quickly beginning to regret my sudden conversational boldness.

"Are you a girl perhaps?" the teen nonchalantly inquired, acting as if he had just asked me about the weather.

My mouth instantly dropped open and Yu spit out the water that had been in his mouth. Quincy, on the other hand, simply raised a purple eyebrow.

"What kind of question is that!?" Yu exclaimed while he began to clean up his mess with a napkin.

"The simple kind."

I narrowed my eyes and glared at the teen sitting in front of me. "What makes you think that I would be a girl in the first place?"

Quincy looked deep into my eyes and smirked, "Just an assumption based off of some basic observations."

"What kind of observations?"

"The normal kind."

A wave of shivers suddenly ran down my spine at the thought of this soul-searcher taking note of my actions over the past week. Just what was this guy anyways? A stalker? A psychopath? Some demon that has come to kill me off? He was hard to read and that, for some reason, frightened me.

Yu, who had finished cleaning up his spit up water, rejoined the conversation. "Well, Gavin, are you really a girl?"

"No." I firmly stated, not taking my eyes of Quincy. "And if you're wanting me to prove it then I'm sorry, but I'm not going to." Needless to say, my opinion of this guy was quickly shifting from crazy cultist to perverted stalker.

The purple-haired teen just shrugged, responding with a simple, "Hm."

Ticked off at Quincy's question and his better-than-thou attitude, I silently returned to my breakfast. But, despite how much I wanted to refrain from talking with the guy, a strong sense of curiosity slowly but surely got the better of me.

"Tell me, why have you been, as you put it, observing me?"

Quincy didn't miss a beat. "Because, you're weird."

"Ha, well aren't you courteous," I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

The teen smiled. "I thank you for your compliment; perhaps we should have tea later. Do you like Earl Grey?"

"Ha! Don't play with me!" I growled before placidly stating, "There are few things in this world I can't stand, one of which is people like you."

"Truly, I'm flattered."

"Don't be." I leaned my face closer to Quincy's and demanded, "Now tell me, why have you been watching me?"

"I've already told you."

"Then elaborate for me!"

Sighing, Quincy took a sip of his water and then stated, "On our first day of training we went through a series of drills so that the Commanders could assess our current abilities. One of these drills consisted of the use of a sword; do you remember which drill I am speaking of?"

"I asked you to elaborate, not take me down memory lane," I snapped.

Quincy, apparently unphased by my curtness, simply repeated, "Do you remember?"

I narrowed my eyes at the soul-searcher. He seemed to be speaking seriously now, though I still doubted the direction in which he was taking this conversation. My inquisitive nature, however, yelled at me to play along.

"Yes, I remember."

"Then you should also remember how strange you looked while attempting to execute said drill."

I scowled at the insult, and I was about to come back with one of my own when Quincy just kept right on talking, "Your stance and the way you moved told me that you were nervous, and far too nervous for it simply be a case of the first day jitters."

"And your point?"

"My point is that, at first, I thought you were so clumsy because you were a girl, and as such, were extremely nervous that you might get caught. I came to this conclusion simply because your actions were so awkward for a man your age. This conclusion of mine became more and more probable once I observed your reluctance to take a shower with the rest of the squad, along with the fact that you're always the last one to get dressed each morning."

I rolled my eyes. "Well excuse me for liking my privacy and my sleep!"

Quincy quickly held up his hand in defense. "Forgive me, my assumptions were incorrect. I apologize." The teen then paused for a moment before resuming, "Though, if I may ask one more question, are you holding back during our training?"

Now a bit calmer since Quincy had (surprisingly) apologized, I replied, "Like I could hold back without getting burned to death!"

"So you've always run and fought like that?"

"I have."

"Yu." Quincy abruptly turned to the blonde-headed boy and asked, "What do you think of Gavin's running and fighting style?"

Taken aback by the teen's question, Yu stuttered, "I, um, I d-don't really know. It's sorta normal-"

"Be honest, please," Quincy interrupted and Yu hung his head. The boy gave me an apologetic look before reluctantly saying, "Okay, Gavin does run kinda strangely. And he does fight differently than the rest of us too. But everyone has their own style of doing things, right? And he's still a nice person and-"

"Gavin," the soul-searching stalker began, breaking off Yu's little speech, "Did your parents ever mention anything about the way you ran?"

"Of course not!" I exclaimed, now completely confused as to Quincy's motive behind these questions. "I fail to see how this matters. I really could care less how I run as long as I survive the rest of my training."

"That's just it. You won't survive if you don't change your way of doing things." The teen then began stabbing his fork into his eggs while intently staring at me. I squirmed in my seat, but it was to no avail. The teen's stare was like a steel trap, and once you were in it, there was no getting out.

"Maybe you could do some extra training," Yu suddenly exclaimed, a large smile on his round face. "Maybe we could even help you out-"

"No, not a chance!" I exclaimed, thoroughly against the idea of this sadistic stalker and overly eager boy 'helping'me train.

"Yu has a good idea," Quincy stated. "Even if you don't want our help, you should at least take some time to work on your form."

I sighed. I couldn't say that I was completely against their idea. Some extra training would definitely be beneficial for me, though where I'd find the time to actually partake in such training was beyond me.

"Perhaps I could take some time in the evenings to do some extra training..." I muttered while sinking down into my chair. While the probability of me actually doing any extra work outside of my current schedule was close to zero, I figured I might as well pretend like I'd consider their idea, just to avoid them harping on the matter. The last thing I wanted was to have the two of them constantly chewing on my back, asking if I had trained that day or not.

Feeling like someone was observing me, I reluctantly glanced up from the table to see Quincy giving me one of his signature stares. He was so frigid – so collected that it made me wonder if he wasn't some sort of emotionless deity from another planet. I smiled at the thought, though quickly reverted my mouth to its original state before Quincy could catch a glimpse my inner amusement.

"So," Yu, suddenly piped up, "You're gonna do it?"

I half-heartedly nodded my head.

"And you're not just nodding in an attempt to worm your way out of this conversation, right?" Quincy inquired, his unnatural sense of perception causing me to fidget around in my chair.

Almost involuntarily, a weak 'uh-huh' escaped my lips.

"Well then, we'll just help you work on your form tonight after our last session."

"Umm, okay?" I shrugged, too tired to properly think through what I had just said.

"Then I look forward to working with you." Quincy smirked.

Suddenly the realization hit me and my internal self slammed its metaphorical hand into its metaphysical head.

"Uh, no-!"

"Good day, Gavin." Quincy interrupted as he got up and left the table. "I shall see you this evening."

I groaned, banging my forehead upon my hand. Why did I always get stuck dealing with the irksome people?

"Why can't everyone just shut up for a change," Genesis scowled, rubbing his forehead with one of his gloved hands. He was exhausted from leading his first training session and all he wanted to do was to eat his breakfast in peace. No noise, no incompetent teenaged boys roaming around, no nothing – just him, his breakfast, and an hour of silence. Now, was all that really too much to ask for?

A loud clang instantly answered Genesis's question, causing the teen to cringe at the resounding clamor.

Apparently so.

Breaking through the ruckus, Angeal responded to his friend's outburst in between gulps of orange juice, "Genesis, this is a cafeteria filled with young teenaged boys. What'd you expect them to do? Just sit quietly and stare at one another while they eat?"

"Now there's a thought..." Genesis remarked before taking a sip of water, crinkling his nose in disgust at the sloppy way his friend was drinking. This was far from the first time he had witnessed such a classless display of table manners, but that didn't mean that he'd developed an immunity to the vile nature of it.

"Can't you show a little consideration and take the time to drink and talk separately?"

Bewildered at his friend's suggestion, Angeal looked up from his glass. "Why should I? It saves time when you do both at once."

Genesis sighed and rolled his eyes as his friend continued to gulp down the drink. Once he had finished, Angeal looked up from his glass, a teasing smile tugging at his lips.

"So, how did your first morning as Commander Rhapsodos go?"

A large grin quickly appeared on the red-head's face at the mention of the title. "All went very well, though almost half of the group fell asleep during our early morning reading session."

Mouth agape, Angeal stared at the smiling teen before him. "You didn't?"

"I did," Genesis replied and then laughed at Angeal's shocked expression.

"If you keep causing trouble you are going to get kicked out," Angeal warned while suspiciously eyeing his friend, "Remember Genesis, you have your honor as SOLDIER to uphold and protect."

Placing his hands behind his head, Genesis rolled his eyes. "So you've told me a thousand times, Angeal. But would SOLDIER really kick such a talented and good-looking guy like me out? I'm a hero; it would be foolish of them to get rid me."

Angeal sighed. Ever since he'd first met Genesis the red-head had always carried around a well exposed ego. The teen just couldn't settle for second best, and while this pride and determination was a good thing to have, it resembled that of a double-edged sword – it drove Genesis to success but it also, when taken too far, pierced the red-head with the aftereffects of his actions. Being his closest comrade, Angeal felt responsible for keeping the red-head's honor intact, not to mention his passionate temper, but it seemed that all his past advice had done was bore his friend to tears. Trying to assist Genesis was like trying to hug a Kactuar - it was painful and extremely difficult. But, luckily for the Crimson Kactuar, Angeal wasn't one to give up easily.

"Angeal?"

His train of thought now stopped in its tracks, the Second looked up at his friend. "Hm?"

"You were ignoring me, weren't you?" Genesis stated, giving the Second a knowing look.

Angeal smiled. He knew better than to try and save himself with a half-hearted lie. "Yeah, basically. Let me guess, you were talking about Loveless, am I right?"

"Wrong!" Genesis held up his index finger and brushed a few strands of crimson hair out of his face. "I was talking about the science behind Kactuars."

Angeal just shook his head. "You're hopeless."

"Hey," The Second abruptly exclaimed, tilting his head in the direction of a certain First class SOLDIER. "Sephiroth is here today. Wasn't he supposed to go on some sort of mission this morning?"

"Tsch, he was," Genesis scoffed, his face twisting into a look of disgust at seeing the First on the other side of the room. "Though he's most likely skipping it. He probably considers the mission to be beneath him and as such thinks it's a waste of his precious time."

"Maybe..." Angeal absentmindedly wondered, turning his head to take another look at the notorious SOLDIER. Suddenly, a tidal wave of panic washed over the Second. He didn't know when nor why he had started walking in their direction, but Sephiroth was rapidly closing in on their table. And much to Angeal's alarm, Rhapsodos the Ranter was still bad-mouthing said First class SOLDIER.

"Hey Genesis," Angeal began, desperately trying to gain his friend's attention, "Sephiroth is walking towards us..."

"It must be nice to be ShinRa's favorite," Genesis whined, completely ignoring his comrade. "I bet the incompetent cur didn't even have to work his way to First class! ShinRa probably just handed him the position!"

"Hey Genesis, can you be quiet-?"

"That prideful, arrogant, stupid imbecile! Who does he think he is? A god? I'll have you know that he trashed - yes, trashed - Loveless when I recited it during our first mission together. Like he knows anything about the beauty and elegance of poetry!"

"Genesis!"

"That self-centered..."

"Gen-!"

"Ungrateful..."

"Shut up!"

"Classless..."

"Genesis! Why is it so hard for you to stop talking and actually listen to people?!" Angeal yelled, finally getting his friend's attention.

"What?" Genesis snapped, annoyed by his friend's interruption.

Hanging his head in defeat, Angeal silently pointing his thumb to the left.

Confused, Genesis glanced over in the direction Angeal had indicated and nearly jumped out of his seat. Towering over the red-head loomed a young man whose green eyes bore down on the SOLDIER below him.

"Sephiroth!"

"Pleasure to see you too, Genesis," the First placidly stated in his usual, deep voice. "I'm delighted to know that you seem to think so highly of me."

The red-head scoffed at Sephiroth's sarcastic remark and turned his head away, obviously chastising himself for his childish mistake.

In an attempt to take the Commander's mind off of Genesis's behavior, Angeal kindly asked, "Commander Sephiroth, do you need anything sir?"

"Yes, actually," Sephiroth replied, turning to the Second, "I was wondering if I might sit here. All the other tables are full and this is the only vacant seat available."

"I don't mind if you join us!" Angeal smiled and then motioned for the First to take a seat beside himself. "Please, sit down."

"Thank you, it's Angeal isn't it?"

The Second nodded as Sephiroth sat down in the vacant seat. "It is sir, and you are welcome."

After taking a sip of his water, the silverette motioned in the direction of Genesis's crimson coat. "Ah, I see that you are wearing the cape today."

"It's a cloak and of course I'm wearing it," Genesis snapped, narrowing his eyes at the First. "I'm a Commander now so I get to wear what I want."

Much to the annoyance of the hot-headed teen, Sephiroth gave Genesis one of his signature smirks. The gesture itself was small and subtle, but that's what made it all the more irksome to the crimson young man. And, to add to Rhapsodos's frustration, the silverette calmly added a nice, "Enjoy it while it lasts."

Genesis clenched his fist underneath the table. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that you only have this position for a week."

"Oh? Says who?"

"The Director of SOLDIER." The First paused, obviously trying to let his words sink in before continuing. "I believe his exact words were, 'Genesis needs more time to mature in his abilities before he can permanently assume the role of Commander.'"

Crushing his fork in his grasp, Genesis growled, "Why you-!"

"Genesis," Angeal firmly interrupted, giving his friend a look that told him to hold his tongue. Not wanting to hear another one of Angeal's speeches, Genesis bit his lower lip before murmuring the first few lines of Loveless in an attempt to retain his overflowing frustration.

An awkward silence set in amongst the teens as they turned their attention to finishing their meal. Still rather ticked off at the 'arrogant cur', Genesis took this time to occasionally give Sephiroth a look that reeked of disgust, disdain, and dislike.

At first, Sephiroth ignored the Second's childish behavior, focusing his mind on other, more important matters. Though, after Genesis turned up his nose at the First, the silverette caved and responded with a silent chuckle and a raise of one of his sleek eyebrows.

Quite annoyed by Sephiroth's subtle antics, Genesis smirked and rolled his eyes, obviously trying to hide the fact that the First's response had severely annoyed him. The silverette, however, merely flashed the red-head a knowing look, causing Genesis to secretly resume the clenching of his fists.

Sephiroth smirked at Genesis. Genesis casually leaned back and flicked some of his hair out of his face. The First rolled his eyes. The crimson teen scowled.

Meanwhile, Angeal couldn't help but be amused by the twosome's silent argument. Neither of them had said a word, and yet Angeal found himself deafened by their expressive exchange. The two of them were a strange inconsistency. Both of the teens talked and acted as if they harbored ill feelings towards the other, though here they were, reading each other as if they had been the closest of friends for many years.

Calling his musings to a close, Angeal's attention was brought back to the situation at hand by a strange, high-pitched squeak. Immediately both he and Sephiroth looked up and stared at the source of the strange sound.

Noticing the stares he was receiving, Genesis snapped, "What? You've never heard someone hiccup before?"

Breaking from his shocked trance, Angeal snickered. And then he giggled. And then he laughed as another shrill hiccup came from his friend's lips.

"This isn't hiccup! funny!"

Angeal just laughed harder, clutching at his stomach as he ignored the aura of doom that Genesis was emitting.

"Genesis," Sephiroth asked, a quizzical looked etched onto his face, "Why are you making that noise?"

The red-head's anger was beginning to reach a dangerous level, and the silverette's calm composure just the fueled the crimson teen's fire. "Don't mock me you son of a—"

"Genesis!" Angeal interrupted, saving his friend from the peril that follows from cussing at a First class Commander. "That's enough!"

Picking up on Genesis's anger at his reply, Sephiroth calmly explained, "I know how much you like to think that I enjoy teasing you, Genesis, but I ask my question in all honesty. Why are you making that noise? Is this some sort of joke or prank that I have misunderstood?"

Both of the teens stared at the silverette, completely taken aback by his response. Was he really being serious?

"Sephiroth," Angeal explained, snapping out of his shocked daze, "Genesis has the hiccups."

"What is that?"

"..."

"I'm sorry," Sephiroth began, "But did you not hear my question?"

Collecting himself, Angeal finally responded, "Sir, have you never had the hiccups before?"

"If you are asking me whether or not I've made the same noise that Genesis keeps uttering, then no, I have – thankfully – never had the hiccups before."

"Really?"

"Really."

Angeal blinked a few times before leaning back into his chair. This was certainly bizarre, though it wasn't completely irrational. Sephiroth's lack of experience with the hiccups was probably just a side-effect of prolonged Mako exposure. All SOLDIERs experienced it in some form or another, though the length and type of such side-effects varied from person to person. Losing the ability to hiccup was definitely a first, and as to why Sephiroth never experienced the hiccups before he joined SOLDIER still remained a mystery...

Still, apart from the origins of such an oddity, Angeal found this revelation to be a bit calming. Ever since he'd joined SOLDIER, Angeal had always found the presence of the well-known First to be a bit god-like. It was as if the silverette was perfect and was thus incapable of doing any wrong. He fought flawlessly, he spoke with assurance, he possessed an aura of overflowing confidence; and now he couldn't hiccup. Perhaps some would claim that this fact made the First even more of a deity, but Angeal saw it as a confirmation of the teen's humanity. The great Sephiroth had abnormalities, and that, on a foundational level, made him reachable.

"Oh," Sephiroth abruptly asked, "Are these hiccups contagious? They seem like a nuisance and I'd rather not catch them."

"No, they are not contagious!" Genesis gritted his teeth while tightly gripping his eating utensil in his hand. It wasn't hard to tell from the veins bulging out of Genesis's forehead that the red-head was doing all that he could to restrain himself from jumping up and ripping Sephiroth's head off right then and there.

"Ah, good. I don't have time to deal with such a ridiculous predicament at the moment so I am glad that I seem to be immune to this disease of yours."

Genesis rolled his eyes. "It's not a disease Sephiroth, it's the hiccups! Something which every normal person gets."

Sephiroth abruptly got up from his seat. "So this just proves that I am not normal, and am therefore separate from all other human beings."

"Don't let it go to your head," Genesis scoffed, though mentally taking note of Sephiroth's sudden change in attitude. "You know what they say, pride comes before a fall."

"Then you should learn to take your own advice."

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Genesis replied, "And you should learn to receive it."

"Well," Angeal awkwardly began, breaking his way into the staring contest that had arisen between the two teens. "Sephiroth, sir, it was nice talking with you."

Shifting his attention towards Angeal, the silverette stated, "Yes, thank you for allowing me to sit here. I found our discussions to be rather interesting, to say the least." Sephiroth then nodded towards the twosome. "Good day."

Once he was sure that the First was out of sight, Genesis slumped down in his chair.

"Calm people are so excessively irksome..."

A/N: Red Dog Krim - Wow! I am honored that you think that my work might help you with thy own writing! Thank you! And, as far as the training exercises that I came up with for Gavin and his squad goes, they were created from 1) my experience with soccer training, 2) reading other FinalFantasy fanfics here on FanFiction, and 3) my own evil mind ;)

And to everyone else who has read/reviewed/favorited/and all that awesome stuff, thanks for your support and thanks for taking the time to read! :)