For a brief moment, J.J. considered brushing his concerns aside like she did any other time, but one look at Derek's face and she knew there would be no getting around him this time. Nor was there even the slightest chance of getting him to let it go, no matter what she said, so she wasn't even going to try. When Derek put his mind to it, he could clamp on tighter than a pit bull terrier and never let go and the harder you struggled, the tighter his grip became. He was right about one thing though; they were closer now than they ever were before and if she was going to talk, he would be the one she'd turn to before anyone else, even Emily. But she also knew it'd be difficult for her to completely open up to him about this. When she became part of the BAU, she'd inadvertently trained herself to field questions and withhold information from others in order to guard against anyone getting past her or using her to get to her team. It's an essential part of her job and makes her the best at what she does, but not so great when it came to letting friends and family in. For her, it was a harder habit to break than a recovering alcoholic passing by the open door of a bar.

With a quiet sigh, she knew the time had come for her to let it all out, but she didn't quite know where to start. Wrapping her arms around herself, she began to lightly pace back and forth in front of the empty murder board, gathering her thoughts. Then she found herself stopping directly in front of it and she stared hard at the blank surface, knowing that within the next half hour it would begin to fill with the faces of the team's newest case – and it broke her heart. Keeping her back to him, she began to softly speak.

"Over the years we've seen some of the worst things imaginable that humanity can dish out against one another. Time and time again, I'd think nothing could be worse than our last case, only to have another case fall across my desk proving just how wrong I was. Each time I got through the horrors by knowing that we would stop them, maybe not in time to save everyone, but we would save some, and when we were done, we'd put one more evil residing in this world away for good. But this case... I..." She had to stop and firmly press her fingertips against her lips to control the sudden trembling caused by the unwanted images of past victims filtering behind her sad eyes and through her mind like some kind of gruesome kaleidoscope stuck in the on position. She knew that Derek was quietly watching her with concern, but she needed to get herself back under control before she could speak again.

When it came to his friends and family, Derek had an endless supply of patience and understanding. And right now watching her struggle, he would have liked nothing better then to wrap J.J. up in the protective cocoon of his arms and do everything within his power to take away all her pain. However, he knew she was the type of person who had to work things out for herself first before she could accept comfort and sympathy from someone else, even those closest to her. So instead of doing what came naturally to him, he'd listen and wait until she was ready for more. Of course, that didn't stop him from continuing to nudge her along in that direction with a few gentle words. "That's the job J... it's who we are and what we do."

"No Derek, for some of us, it's who we used to be. Quite frankly, given this case, I'm starting to think it's just not enough anymore." His words were like kindling to the fire burning beneath the surface and once lit, she couldn't seem to stop the flame from fully igniting and bursting out of her. She turned to face him then and met his concerned eyes with her own full of fiery anger and bitterness. "Not a single day goes by that I don't think about what we've all had to give up in the name of justice, or of all the victims who've been sacrificed along the way, including those closest to us. Gideon lost an old and dear friend, Hotch and Jack lost Hailey, and you and I lost our best friend to this endless war we're fighting – this war we both know we can't win because no matter how many cases we solve, there will always be another and another and another... just waiting for us on my desk when we get back, the next case more horrific than the last. How many more victims and people we love do we have to watch die before it finally kills us too? Pen wasn't just my best friend and she wasn't just your Baby girl. She was the part of our family that made us whole and this damn job took her from us, took her from me. Damn it Derek, I don't care if she's been gone a year; my life is so dark without her and only getting darker. I miss her and I want her back. I just want her back."

Here was the break Derek had been waiting for. He pulled her into his arms just as the first teardrop landed on his chest, holding on to her as if their lives depended on it. "I miss her too princess, I miss her too," He whispered brokenly as he lay his cheek down upon her head and let his own tears escape, pouring out as much comfort as his own grief would allow and taking back as much as she could give. Of all the things he thought this could be about, this was the one he was least prepared to deal with. J.J. wasn't the only one in pain and it was hard to console someone when you felt like you were suffocating under the crushing weight of your own broken heart.