Not willing to allow any time for awkwardness to develop between them, Gibbs captured Jenny's lips in a passionate kiss as soon as the door to their room was locked behind them. He had her coat on the floor and his fingers winding into her hair before she had time to register what he was doing. Jenny closed her eyes to block out anything but him, and memorized again the feel of his lips against hers, how his hands touched her with need, but stayed gentle for her sake.
Gibbs pulled back from kissing her long enough to unclip the dragonfly from her hair, and shrug his own coat off. His suit jacket soon followed with Jenny's help and she fingered his tie and tugged on it, bringing his mouth back to hers. It was too hard to think when their minds were clouded by thoughts of each other, and other moments like this, but Jenny wanted more than anything for it to work this time, for them to be able to be together, for nothing to get in the way.
Tasting the urgency in her kiss, Gibbs resolved to take things slow, even if it would be agony for both of them. It had been a month, Jenny had been through hell, and they were still trying to get out of this valley. The last thing he wanted was to rush the one thing that had stood between them all this time. Gibbs broke his mouth away from hers, his lips planting little kisses all over her face. Already her breathing had accelerated, and the soft noises she made in her throat told him that Jenny was enjoying this part very much.
His hands wandered over her shoulders, down her back, and up her ribs until he found the zipper that was keeping her dress on. With her body pressed close to his, Gibbs' fingers worked the tiny zipper all the way down to her hip. He pulled back to watch her eyes, not willing to make a move unless it came with her express permission, especially for this. Without breaking their locked gazes, Jenny pushed the strap off her shoulder herself, then smiled a little to encourage him to finish the job.
It was what he'd been waiting for and when the dress fell to the floor in a puddle of teal silk, Gibbs took a moment to just appreciate the sight of Jenny's body. Still in her heels, her hair down, and skimpy black underwear clinging to her, he thought she'd never looked more beautiful. When he reached out to rest his hand on her hip, his fingers teasing the waistband of her panties, Jenny shook her head at him, her sharp look up and down his body reminding him that he was more fully clothed than her.
Taking her turn, Jenny hooked her fingers into Gibbs' belt loops and drew him over to the bed. On the way there she slipped out of her heels, settling on the bed with her legs hanging off the edge so her face was level with his chest. But that didn't last long and Jenny switched to balancing on her knees on the side of the bed, smiling coyly as her fingers worked to undo the knot in her husband's tie.
Once the blue material lay strewn on the floor, Jenny began unbuttoning Gibbs' shirt, taking it slowly, doing one at a time. Her unhurriedness was testing Gibbs' patience and when she finally finished, he stripped off his shirt and undershirt by himself. Her hands automatically went for the button on his pants next, and for the first time she hesitated, her eyes flickering uncertainly to his, and her hands fell to her lap.
Gibbs watched her for a moment, knowing this wouldn't be easy, but also knowing that once familiar ground was now as if it had never been trod. Just like last night, for some things they were starting again, like tonight was the first time. Gently, he took hold of her hands and brought them back to the top of his pants. With his eyes he encouraged her, and when her trembling fingers managed to undo the button and pull down the zipper so they fell to the floor, Gibbs rewarded her with a kiss full of longing, a kiss that again ignited the spark between them, and Jenny fell backwards onto the bed, bringing him with her.
He was holding her close, their underwear the only thing between them now. His hands on her back fiddled with the clasp on her bra and Jenny's murmured words against his lips gave him the freedom to do what he liked with it. It took two hands to undo the clasp, Gibbs never had figured out how women could do it up behind their backs without watching to see where the little hooks went, but finally the black strapless piece of material was on the floor with everything else. This had always been one of his favourite parts, going from fully dressed to almost nothing. Getting to slowly relieve Jenny of each layer of clothing that came between him and the feel of her skin under his hands.
Kissing her mouth one last time, he let his lips stray to her neck, then down to her shoulder and across her collarbone. Feeling the slight tension in her body and determined that it wouldn't be like that for long, Gibbs finally reached the soft, tender skin of Jenny's breasts. She closed her eyes as he caressed her slowly, gently, taking his time to just feel her skin under his hands, using his mouth to bring her pleasure with the kisses he bestowed there.
For Gibbs it was finally his turn to do what he'd wanted to do that first week, put his hands on Jenny's body to cover over the memory of other hands, touching her when they did not know her, hurting her because they did not love her, and could not, as he did. It was his right only to touch his wife. He never wanted to see her afraid to have his hands on her again.
While Jenny lay there beside her husband, lost in the ecstacy of remembering that this was how it should be, Gibbs continued his exploration of her body, his mouth moving over her stomach, the tender skin on her hips, his fingers running over the backs of her knees, making her squirm when he hit ticklish areas. He slid his fingers under the material of her panties, and Jenny jerked for a moment, but made no protest as he slowly drew them down her legs and off, letting them land where they would.
She was completely naked now, and not willing to be that way by herself. It didn't take much coaxing with her hands before Gibbs' boxers joined her underwear on the floor. Again Jenny hesitated, while her husband's fingertips ran slowly up and down her spine, making the sensitive nerve endings in her lower back tingle. This was Jethro, she knew him. His body was intimately familiar to her, and yet this was something else she hadn't done yet.
Aching for her touch, Gibbs lead the way again, placing his hand lightly over hers, and guiding it to rest on him. Jenny swallowed, tentatively stroking her husband. He groaned and arched his body towards hers, filled with the pleasure of her fingers brushing over places on his body that she hadn't touched in weeks. Jenny leaned into him, her mouth warm as she kissed his shoulder, his chest, the ticklish skin on his stomach. Her legs tangled with his and Gibbs was getting desperate for her once Jenny's mouth found his again.
His kiss was hard and insistent, his tongue eager to taste her. Jenny kissed him back, feeling the tension in his body that had nothing to do with stress, her hand caressing his chest slowly. Gibbs wasn't sure how much more of this teasing and testing he could take, but he forced himself to remember, while he was still able to get a coherent thought through his head, that this was like their first time, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her in any way or remind her of the reason being intimate with him scared her.
When his hand slipped between her legs, Jenny knew what was surely coming next, and forced her body to relax, her breathing to remain even. With his body resting over hers, Gibbs made sure to check with Jenny first, to be sure this really was okay. She nodded slightly, the invitation in her eyes impossible to miss. Still wanting to be careful, Gibbs took her then, in the gentlest way he ever had.
Jenny gasped at first contact, but kept her eyes open to focus on her husband. Gibbs paused, giving her time to adjust, whispering in her ear that it was okay, that he loved her, that there was nothing to be afraid of. When she relaxed around him, Gibbs pulled her into a passionate kiss borne of all the longing that had been pent up in him since the day she went missing. They moved together, touching, kissing, always trying to get closer.
Gibbs wove his fingers with Jenny's, slowly pushing her arms above her head. Suddenly the image flashed in Jenny's head, her arms tied above her to the bed railings she couldn't reach, an unwelcome body on top of hers. She fought to keep her eyes open, needing to see that it was her husband with her now. He felt the change in Jenny and saw the fear that leapt into her eyes. She struggled, wanting her arms down and he immediately released her.
Jenny pulled her arms to her chest and closed her eyes, her whole body going rigid as she lost her battle and the memories dragged her back.
"Jenny," Gibbs said, louder than a whisper, afraid she was slipping away, making love forgotten for the moment. "Jenny, open your eyes. Look at me sweetheart. It's me, it's Jethro. I'm not going to hurt you. Jen?"
There was a fearful moment of silence filled by Jenny's ragged breathing, before his words reached her through the haze of images she wanted forgotten. A deep breath broke the spell but she kept her eyes closed, telling herself that it was a flashback, that it wasn't real, trying to convince her mind what her body wasn't sure of. She tried desperately to calm down, because this was the one thing she was afraid would happen and she just wanted it to go away.
When she came back they were still together, Gibbs hadn't moved in case that would do more damage. Jenny looked up at him, seeing the concern and the hint of frustration at this intrusion into their time together. She rested her hand on his cheek briefly, but didn't apologize because in his eyes she saw that he didn't think this was her fault, that what happened to her was both of theirs to deal with, it was not just her problem, her hurt.
"Just let me hold you," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck instead, breathing in the smell of him that was comforting and familiar, and did not take her back to the bunker. By shifting her body, Jenny pushed Gibbs over gently so that they were laying on their sides, instead of him on top of her. She positioned her leg over his hip and met his mouth with hers, letting him know that it was okay, that they could still do this. "I won't let it ruin tonight," she said, her breath warm against his neck.
Gibbs shuddered and pulled her close. The light had suddenly come on, and the advice Kristyn had given them about positions made sense now. Someone on top of her, that was how her rape had happened, he knew that. But it never clicked until that moment that the reason they hadn't been able to be together before, was because that was how it always started between them, but her subconscious was probably panicking because of the similarities. Of course Jenny would prefer them to be on their sides, or whatever else didn't have his body weight resting on her, scaring her.
The frustration coiling inside them begged to be let out some way, and they knew that this was one way to do it. Gibbs' hand on Jenny's face brought her back to him again, and their lips melded together, hands roaming over previously forbidden places as they returned to what they knew about each other, finding the rhythm that worked now.
This time making love was really all that they'd hoped for and wanted and waited all this time to do. As Gibbs' body moved with hers, Jenny moaned softly at the sensation. She'd forgotten how much pleasure could be found in being intimate with her husband. She'd been so busy this last month being afraid of sex and all touches, that she'd failed to remember what it felt like simply to be with him.
It was a time of sweetness and whispered words, a time of exploration and being reunited. When they finally parted, breathless from the effort and delighted with the familiarity of each other, Gibbs wrapped one arm around Jenny's waist and held her against his side, loving the feeling of her skin against his. It felt like forever since the last time they'd been together like this. He pressed a kiss to her hair.
"I've missed you Jen," he whispered. They still had a long way to go, but they had love, they had each other, and Gibbs knew healing couldn't be far behind.
Jenny reached up and pulled him down for a kiss, smiling when she moved back. "I love you Jethro," she said slowly. She let out a soft breath. "Thank you for being patient."
For a long time they lay there, kissing, cuddling, complimenting each other, letting the other one know that they had enjoyed making love. They lay naked on the bed, with no shame or fear, content to enjoy these after moments. In some ways what had just happened was like it always had been, but in some ways totally different too, because they were different since the last time they'd been intimate, before Jenny's kidnapping. But it was another step towards the new them, another step to freedom from the shadows, another step to the life they were striving to have.
Jenny knew that just because they'd finally been able to be together where both of them could enjoy it, didn't mean everything was all better or that everything would be okay from now on. She was still struggling with a lot of emotional crap that Gibbs kept getting caught in the middle of. They would still have rough patches and hard times as they continued walking through this valley together. But that was the point, the difference. They were doing it together. And for this moment they were in love and everything was perfect.
A/N: Wow! I can't believe it guys, APTP has reached it's end, finally! I can't say thank you enough to all my faithful readers for sticking with this story for three entire months. Thank you for the amazing, encouraging, timely reviews that made me smile each morning when I turned on my computer and checked my email, for your patience with my occasional delays, and finally, for just taking a chance and reading my story.
This is one of the first pieces of my writing that I've been able to get feedback on and I am overwhelmed by the response. You guys are awesome and I'm so thankful for this experience of writing on FanFiction. That said, this isn't the end, it's really just the beginning. Look for Gibbs and Jenny's story to continue in the sequel, A New Beginning (more about this later). Thanks again for everything. You all rock! High fives to everyone! :D
Aliyah
ps. There just might be a surprise posted tomorrow. Stay tuned!