A/N: A bit of shameless advertising – I've written Matsuda and Mello a crack fic for their birthdays. Feel free to check it out if you haven't already :D

Disclaimer: I don't own anything :(

Chapter 11: The Hall of Two Truths

It took Matt a full minute to recover from his visual disorientation. When the black dancing spots disappeared from his vision, he lowered his arms.

He immediately wished he hadn't.

Eyes.

Lots of them.

Forty-two pairs, to be exact. Forty-two sets of leering, passive, condescending, sympathetic, austere, all-seeing, unblinking, floating, bodiless eyes of the highest-ranking Egyptian gods and goddesses. Eyes that gleamed and bulged like scarab beetles, eyes that made Matt squirm and feel as naked as a newborn.

Cheaters –

– children!

Anubis had teleported them to a courtroom of some sort. Golden gallery benches were situated evenly around the antechamber, encircling Anubis and the forsaken trio like a hurricane's rain band. The invisible gods' excited telepathic chatter faded the moment their jackal-headed colleague bounded onto the raised platform in the center of the room, with Matt, Mello and Near in tow.

Matt's stomach twisted with apprehension. Where were they? This wasn't the Hall of Two Truths...was it? It looked nothing like the paintings that adorned King Tut's palace walls and ceiling. Where was the "scale"? The "feather"? Not to mention the dreaded heart-devouring croc-hippo-lion hybrid monster, Ammut?

Let the judgments begin.

"Oh no," Matt whimpered.

Oh, yes. Anubis sounded bored, as though he had done this over a million times – which was probably the most likely scenario, anyway. This is what you desired, was it not?

Mello's head snapped up eagerly. "No!" the blond man blurted. "If we still have a choice, then I want out!"

That was a rhetorical question.

Anubis conjured up a scroll out of thin air and levitated it toward the three huddled men. The parchment automatically began to stretch before their eyes. Inked hieroglyphs wriggled on the paper, animated by magic. Slowly but surely, the symbols twisted themselves into a more familiar form: the English alphabet.

"What is this?" Matt whispered, entranced despite himself.

The 42 Declarations of Ma'at. You must recite them and face the gods before submitting your hearts to be weighed.

The trio leaned forward to study the floating document. Matt's lightning-quick eyes zipped through the written list, his heart sinking with every word he read.

The Declaration of Innocence

1. I have not done evil.

...

9. I have not told lies.

...

16. I have not spied.

...

20. I have not defiled myself.

...

31. I have not had a hasty heart.

...

42. I have not cursed god in my town.

Matt flinched. "We'd be committing perjury," he told Mello quietly.

"You think?" the blond man hissed, glancing around as if searching for an escape route. There were none – no doors, no windows, nothing. "This isn't fair. It's not supposed to end this way...not yet...we need more time…"

Matt was instantly hit by a stroke of inspiration. "Time!" he yelped. "That's it!"

"What?"

"Any crimes we've committed in the future, they haven't occurred yet," Matt explained triumphantly. "We can't be punished for something that hasn't happened!"

Mello's face lit up, but his hopes were quickly dashed when Anubis let out a bark of laughter.

Fools! Souls are timeless entities. The Weighing Scale will see all.

Near's expression was unreadable. "In that case, I will go first, then."

"N-No, you can't do this!" Mello spluttered, grabbing his rival's arm. "If you do, there won't be anyone left to stop Kira!"

Near blinked. "Kira is the least of our worries right now," the smaller blond declared. "And as I have said before, I have nothing to be afraid of."

Matt gaped at him. "Really, Near?"

Mello jabbed a furious finger at the thirty-ninth line. "I have not been boastful."

"I am never boastful –"

"Number thirty five," Mello continued bluntly, "I have not made trouble."

Near considered this. "Mr. Anubis," he called over to the waiting death god.

Anubis looked surprised. Yes?

"Some of these statements are rather redundant and quite outdated. I would suggest refining the list before subjecting more of the deceased to this ritual," Near said serenely, coiling a lock of his color-restored hair around a slender digit.

WHAT?

The courtroom was plunged into chaos. Half of the gods screeched with telepathic laughter, while the other half stomped their invisible feet against the floor in outrage. Mello looked ready to bolt. Matt clutched Near's shoulders in horror. "You idiot!"

Near shrugged Matt's hands away. "Take these for example," Near pointed out. "I have not killed people. I have not been violent. I have not quarreled. Such declarations already rule out all the soldiers in Egypt, the men who go to war in your honor. Murder is a crime, yet how many have of them have you judged as guiltless heroes?"

There was a chorus of protest at this. Insolent boy –!

Near barreled on, refusing to be deterred. "I am not being insolent. I am merely pointing out the fact that bias clearly plays a role in this particular ritual. Obviously, we will not be shown the same kind of mercy. This is not true justice. This is an unrealistic standard littered with archaic laws and loopholes created by favoritism. They're formalities, really."

Matt clapped a terrified hand over his mouth. Mello, on the other hand, cocked his head inquisitively. Near wasn't usually this passionate, nor was he talkative. What was going on…?

Such compelling arguments! Okay, I shall humor you. Let us skip the formalities, as you wish.

A stifling silence fell over the room as a single female figure emerged from the far back of the gallery, shimmering into the visible spectrum. At first glance, she looked like an ordinary mortal human, but then pearly feathers suddenly sprouted from the underside of her arms, and she leapt, soaring over the rows of seats and through the air like an angel.

The goddess landed on the dais in front of the trio. She plucked three translucent feathers from her extended limbs before the wings melted back into her skin. With a twinge, Matt noted that her dress matched the shade of his beloved Camaro, which, at this rate, he would probably never see again.

I am Ma'at, goddess of truth and justice. Greetings, Nate River.

Near eyed her warily. "Well then, I'm prepared for judgment. What do I do?" he asked, twirling his hair faster and faster.

The woman smiled reassuringly. Relax. She extended a hand and gently brushed aside the flaps of Near's cloak. The pale youth shivered as Ma'at pressed her tanned fingers against his ribcage.

"What are you doing?" Near murmured, shooting his two companions a slightly alarmed look.

I am taking your heart.

With that, the goddess of truth and justice plunged her arm into Near's chest.

"Oh!" was all Near managed to squeak before his dark grey eyes became glassy.

A/N: Heh, Near obviously likes to stall for time and make controversial remarks. It's in his nature.

Trivia – in paintings, the feather of Ma'at is usually depicted as white, gold, green or blue, while the gods/goddesses are usually depicted wearing white, red or green clothing.

Special thanks to the latest readers and reviewers: TheCatchingLightAlchemist, akatsukifan (mwaha, thank yaaa :D), Kishimojin, Kira the Wolf, Eternally1Yours, somebodykillme, TeamDeanWinchester4Ever

*Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow* ^_^