Chapter 3

Tetsu skip dinner that night. His eyes were puffy and it would be embarrassing to be seen with it, besides his heart still heart. I wonder… have they left yet? He lay quietly on top of his bed. He could make out noise from down stairs and he sigh heavily. He close his eyes and block out everything.

It was like a memory of some sort. Tetsu couldn't tell where he was. Standing among stranger who seems to know him. Somehow, he was also waving hi to them as well. Just then he realize that he was watching himself with people he didn't know. They were all joking and laughing together in harmony. It's so peaceful. He watch himself as he put on a blue uniform just like the others. Although his were too big and he had to tie it around him to make sure it didn't fall.

As the courtyard got quieter, he follow the people's eyes toward a tall man in a black kimono with a pipe sticking out of his mouth. Tetsu knew immediately who it was. the Hijikata-san he saw earlier today, or was it yesterday? Any who, Hijikata-san was standing in front of everyone with a sort of controlling aura around him. Even Tetsu couldn't resist his aura, considering this was a dream.

"The battle three days from now will surely be the biggest blood bath since the Ikedaya Incident. I want everyone ready before the sun set. We will crush the Choushu completey this time fore sure."

Everyone cheer loudly and had excitement in their faces, even himself. Tetsu couldn't believe how this would excite him. Just then, a man with spiky hair came up to him. He look at him with a smile on his face.

"Susumu!" he heard himself utter the man's name.

"I don't think the captain would allow you to join the battle this time. You were pretty lucky the first time, but who knows what the outcome would be like." he heard Susumu replied with concern and care. His naïve self just replied happily back, "I'm not that strong, but I'll manage somehow. Besides, even if the captain and Tatsu-nii doesn't allow, I would still go nonetheless. I am still a member of the Shisengumi."

Tatsu-nii? Susumu? Who are they? Suddenly, the scene became blurry and once it let up, the scene change completely. He was standing in a field full of dead bodies. He was crying in someone's arms. That person embrace him tightly and comfort him even among the dead bodies.

"It's ok, Tetsu. Tatsu-kun and the others will be alright. Right now, you need to be strong for them, for everyone. No matter what happens, we will make it out of this alive. I won't let the Shisengumi ends like this."

Tetsu realize the voice instantly. Okita-sensei? From the flower shop? Tears fill Okita-sensei's eyes as he held Tetsu.

"Promise me Tetsu. Promise me you won't become like me. Someone who only know how to kill. Don't become that kind of person, and most importantly, don't become a person who lives for revenge. Revenge is a futile thing. It will only bring sadness and pain to those who loves and cares about you. Can you promise me this?"

Tetsu look at himself as he nodded in tears. Okita-sensei smile and another tears escape his eyes, "Thank you, Tetsu-kun."

He could feel his own tears slide down his face as well, as he watch the scene. He knew this scene very well and he felt that it's repeating over and over again. Tetsu approach the scene and was about to touch Okita-sensei's shoulder when he suddenly open his eyes. He was even crying in his sleep.

"Are you ok?"

He didn't even notice who ever was sitting next to him. Tetsu turn his head to look. Eyes still blurry with tears, he could only make out a faint silver color hair. He then knew instantly who it was. He sat up and rub his eyes.

"Why are you in here, Suzu?"

He asked, almost annoyed of being disturb.

"You didn't come down for dinner so I was worried. By the way, Saya was worried that you might hate her, that's why you didn't come down for dinner."

Saya… "No, I don't hate her. I was just too tired to eat. To many things happening all so soon and together as well."

"So, what were you dreaming about that made you cried even in your sleep?" Suzu asked him as a way of changing the subject.

"I dreamt that I…" wait, I can't tell him about my dream just now. Kaa-chan said to never talk about the Shisengumi, "I… was a soldier, going to war just after I got married. In it, my comrades would died one by one and… we ended up losing the battle to some other soldiers."

That was all Tetsu could manage to come up. Although it pretty much does go with his dream. Besides, he doesn't have time to think of anything better.

"A-Anyway, don't just casually barged into someone's else room like this!"

Wanting to change the subject so badly, he came up with another thing that's been bothering him. Why is it that Suzu's being so formal with him when they just met? Suzu acting as if they were childhood friend or something.

Suzu just look at him with the expression why-couldn't-I.

"Will, you are right, but honestly, I don't care. I just do as I pleased."

"One of these days that attitude will get you in trouble."

"Maybe," Suzu regain his cheerfulness and was now looking around Tetsu's room. Tetsu follow his gaze until he stop on something. In a corner of the room, there was a little box decorated in brown and had gem stones all around it in a straight single line. Tetsu remember that little box well, but he thought he threw it away. Before Suzu could get up and grab it, Tetsu already did it. He bought the little box back to the bed and put it between them.

Tetsu smile a little and open the box. Inside was a single hair pin. At the end of the hair pin was a flower spread open. On each petal, a gem that was made into tiny single line pendant were connected to it. In the center of the flower, a gem like those on the petals stick out. Suzu examined it and look at Tetsu.

"Did someone gave you this?"

"Nope, I found it on my first birthday out of town. I kept it with me since then. Beautiful isn't it?"

Even Suzu couldn't agree more. He gave a sigh in agreement. Tetsu close the box and put it back in the corner. He sat back down on the bed.

"Suzu?"

"What?"

"Do you mind if I just call you Suzu without the san?"

"I don't care how you call me, so go ahead. But it will only work for you."

"Then Suzu?"

"Yes?"

"Do you ever feel like all of this happen for a reason?"

Suzu didn't answer, instead he change the question, "Do you believe in past life Tetsu?"

"Past life?"

Confused at the sudden change of subject, Tetsu didn't know how to answer.

"Yes, past life. I believe they do exist."

"Why?"

"Because I was able to see you again."

"Eh?"

Tetsu was speechless now. He doesn't understand what Suzu was going on about anymore. Suzu probably read his expression, for he chuckle lightly, "Anyway, I best be going. I'll see you soon Tetsu."

He got up and left the room before Tetsu could react to what he was saying. As the door closes, he slump onto the bed. All of this definitely happen for a reason. But what? He let out a heavy sigh. I can't take it anymore, I'm going to sleep. And so, he went to sleep once again with the hope of not having the same dream repeat itself. Sadly, it did. But this time, an even more painful scene join the previous one.