Disclaimer: So, I'm not positive about this, but I don't think J.K. Rowling is a struggling college student with no life, but I am. So that would mean I'm not her, and thus these characters and places don't belong to me, ah poo!

A/N: I think it was in chapter six, I'm on chapter 22 I don't remember that far back, I wrote a little fantasy scene, I didn't get any replies on how you all liked it, and I was just wondering. Was it confusing? Did you get who was supposed to be acting out each character? Did you get that Sirius was the one telling the story and Remus was helping him? Did you like it, hate it, what? I'm just wondering because I have a few more that pop up in this story.

Chapter 9

February 1976

I never told them about that kiss, they didn't need to know, and it would only hurt them if I did. I knew them and I knew that they were always waiting for the other shoe to drop, That was their life, had always been their lives.

Remus said he could remember parts of his life where his parents had loved him, but most of his memories came from after the night he got bit, and his parents all but stopped. He didn't tell me until after we got together, but his first name had once been John, it hadn't always been his middle. When he got bit, his mother took him and got his name changed to Remus John Lupin, his parents' last name was King. I mean really, it makes sense, what kind of coincidence would it be for a person named after one of the boys that was raised by wolves, to have a last name that dealt with wolves? Oh, and then he just happens to be a werewolf. No, his mother did it so that there was always a reminder of what he was. I'm glad I never meet them, I hate them.

Sirius had never had a time in his life where his parents loved him, they had always been abusive and fanatics. I had met the Blacks, and I had never even been civil to them. I used to walk through the halls and if I saw Regulus I would make his life difficult in one way or the other. When I got with Sirius and Remus I quiet messing with Regulus. I hadn't noticed it, because I had to be so close to Sirius' body that it felt like we were one person in order to see it. There was a scar from where Sirius had gotten hexed by his mother the day they fought enough to make him leave. Sirius told me that he had been found by a healer that night, who had fixed him up free of charge. The healer had told Sirius that if he hadn't fixed him right there, Sirius would have bleed out by the end of the night. I couldn't control it, I wanted to cause pain to someone that had brought my lovers pain.

I was the first one to ever tell them I loved them. No, it hadn't been me when we told them in that meaning, but it was me first. When we were twelve, just before they went with their parents for the summer. I had pulled them aside, hugged them, and said, "I love you brothers." They both hugged me back, but they never said it. They joked about it when we turned thirteen, but had never said it like I had said it. Not until that morning in October when we made Remus feel better, and before I pulled Sirius away and made love to him for the first time. Now they always said it, and yet they always waited for the day, that just like Remus' parents, I would stop.

I was never going to stop, they were mine. They were mine when they sat in the middle of the common room and Sirius tried to beat Remus at chess, tried and failed. They were mine when we rolled together in the same bed, and came together screaming out each others names. They were mine when we sat in the middle of the Great Hall and girls all over the school flirted with Sirius, and some of the boys with Remus. They were mine to make happy when a teacher called them out in class, okay that was usually only Sirius. They were mine to make feel good when pain I couldn't even contemplate took over their bodies, and that was only Remus. At Hogsmeade, on the quidditch pitch, in class, in the corridors, in the Great Hall, in the common room, on the grounds, in our bed they were mine. Somebody would have to kill me before I let them go.

I had been thinking these thoughts as I had watched them play a game of chess, in which Sirius was loosing horribly to Remus. I scanned the room, and seeing no one watching me, I leaned over and pressed a kiss to the back of Sirius' head. His head flipped up and he spun to look at me with a shocked expression, and I just smiled at him. Looking to see that we still had no one's attention I whispered. "I love you," and watched through his eyes as his heart melted for me.

"Come here," I told Remus, and he shook his head. "Come. Here." I said again, and he crawled over to me, sitting so that it looked like we were plotting something. I looked again, and saw that even in the crowd of people we were alone. I brushed a lock of hair behind his ear, and trailed the back of my hand down his face. "I love you," I whispered, and again watched as his heart melted for me. "Come on," I said, getting off of the couch I had been laying on and leading them up to our room.

I kissed Sirius, until I had him laying with his back on the bed. I turned to Remus, and did the same, leaving just enough space between them that I could knell between them. I ran my hands down the sides of their cheeks as I just looked at them. They watched me intently, but made no other sounds then to sigh as I brushed their skin softly.

"You two don't even know how beautiful you are." I said as I bent down to kiss each of them again. "You keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, for me to leave you, but stop, it's not going to happen." I said and they looked away, looking at each other, believing that only the other one could understand what it was like not to be loved. They were right, I had always been loved, but because of that I was able to show them what love was, and that what I felt for them was just that.

"What would you do," I asked as I pulled their chains above their collars. "If I told you that these," I went for the icon. "Mean to me the same as better for worse, richer for poorer, sickness and health?" They looked at me in shock as both of their hands went up to wrap around my hands holding their icons.

"They are the same as wedding bands to you?" Sirius asked quietly.

"Since I will never be allowed to give you a band, that is exactly what these are to me." I answered. "I will never leave you." I promised before gentle pressing my lips against theirs and trailing my hands downs as I kissed each one of them. As I chewed on Remus' bottom lip gently, my hand found Sirius' untucked shirt hem, and Remus waistband. Giving both of the shirts a tug, I moved back to slowly kiss Sirius, as my hands moved to the skin under the white button-down shirts. I heard Remus moan at the contact, and I felt Sirius do the same against my lips.

Remus started moving, I felt it under my hand, at the same time Sirius went to pull my shirt away as well. "No," I said pulling away from Sirius' mouth. "This night is all about you two, I just want to make my lovers feel good." I said before finding Remus' mouth again. They had to know. My words had never been enough, neither had my actions. I had to dispel those fears, there was no one I wanted more then I wanted them. They had to know, and maybe if I paired my words with my actions, they would understand.

"I love you," I said as I placed a soft kiss on Sirius' lips, and began to undo the buttons of their shirts. "You are my best friends." I said as I turned to Remus, undoing the next button. I knew that if I was to say this with Remus that it would have more of an impact then if I had done so with Sirius. I knew that Remus used to think that you could only have one best friend, well if that were true I would also have to believe I could only have one lover. These two were my life, I probably could have had one or the other, but we wouldn't have been the same.

"You stood beside me when I watched my dreams fall apart." I said kissing Sirius for a while afterward, and finishing the buttons of their shirts. "You put me back together, and because of you I dare to dream again." I said as I turned my attention back to Remus and shed his shirt off of him.

"I have seen you at your weakest and at your strongest." I said kissing Sirius and getting rid of his shirt. "I have been the shoulder you cried on." I turned back to Remus, rubbing my hands across their bare chests, and paying special attention to their nipples as they moaned for me. "I will continue to be that shoulder." I said as I moved to lick Sirius' nipple, "I will continue to be the rock that has given you shelter." I licked at Remus' nipple, the one on the same side as I had done on Sirius.

"Many people spend years searching for the one that will bring them their joy." I said before teasing Sirius. "Some find it late in life, others in their teens, I am one of the few that gets to say, I found my loves when I was still a child." I teased Remus.

"Most people only get one person at a time to make them happy." I said moving back to kiss Sirius properly as I undid their pants. "Some of them spend their life with the same person, others have many people over the course of their lives." I said kissing Remus and pushing his trousers off of him. "I will spend my life with two, only two, and will rejoice in the fact that I will spend it with them at the same time." I said before turning to Sirius and ridding him of his slacks as well.

"Some say that the way I feel for one of you alone is wrong." I said as I slipped off the bed where I had left their feet hanging, still tied in their shoes. "Many say that I cannot feel this way about the two of you." I said as I untied and tugged one of Sirius' shoes off. "Because of these beliefs I break the law every time I show you how I feel." I continued with his next shoe. "I am a Marauder, and most have called me our leader, I do not care about these laws." I said as I untied Remus' shoe and tugged it off. "I care about the way I feel about you two, and the way you two make me feel." I finished with his other shoe. "I." I pulled the sock off of Remus' foot that I had just taken his shoe off of. "Love." I went to the next one. "You." I went to Sirius' sock that was next in the sequence. "Two." I finished undressing my lovers except for the chains around their necks.

When I stood back up and looked at my lovers, I saw that tear tracks stained both of their faces. Sirius only had one track leading down his left cheek, where Remus had several, but that one track meant the same to me as those many. Sirius had learned as a child that "Blacks Don't Cry." To let any tears, out of sadness, laughter, joy, had been taught to him as a sign of weakness. Remus hadn't really been taught any more then go to your room and eat your dinner, tears had been a part of his life for the majority of it. Leaning down I kissed the tear track on Sirius' face as dry as I could, before turning and placing a soft kiss on Remus' lips. I knew that to Sirius, the sign of acceptance of his tear was more intimate then the kiss I shared with our lover.

"James," I heard Sirius breathe, and both Remus and I turned to look at him. "I..." he knew what it was to be happy, sad, angry, afraid, and to laugh. He knew that he loved Remus and I, but other then saying it, and buying us presents, he didn't always know how to show it. He would not have been able to do as I had done tonight. "I want you inside me." This was the way he understood how to show us how he felt for us.

I nodded, shed my clothes quickly, and using a spell I had found a few weeks back, I knelt in front of him. "Remus, I want you to do like I did Christmas night." Remus rolled to his side and kissed Sirius for a while before nodding his consent to the wish. Using the same spell on myself, Remus came up behind me. I slowly pushed into Sirius, and once we were used to the connection again, I slowly moved back, sliding myself onto Remus. Remus kissed my shoulder as we moved together so that it was as though we were both moving back into Sirius. As I moved away, Remus did the same.

"God," Sirius cried, his voice was still weak from the emotions I had dragged to the surface. "It really is like you two are moving inside of me." We hadn't been together like this since that night. Sure we had still had our one-on-one times, sometimes with the other watching and wanking as I had put it so simply on the train ride home for the holidays. We just hadn't been together, two of us moving as one into the third. When one of us was inside of the other, we more often then not had the one being moved inside of wank or suck the third one.

"James," Sirius cried, and I looked at him locking eyes. "I wasn't raised to know what love is." He explained to me, before moaning at a particular slide.

"I was raised to know that it can be taken away at a moments notice." I heard Remus say as we thrust together.

"You're going to have to teach us." Sirius said.

"Just like you always have." Remus added.

"You said we stood beside you when you watched your dreams fall apart." I hoped they didn't know what I meant by that.

"We weren't always the best at helping you remember that you weren't what she said you were." Leave it to Remus to always know what I'm talking about.

"We learned from you. You always know what to say when we're down." Sirius said as we moved in.

"Using that we began to figure out how to help you." Remus added as we pulled out.

"We watched you as you fell in love with us." Into Sirius, Remus and I pushed.

"We used that to show you the same thing." Out of Sirius, Remus and I pulled.

"You've seen us at our weakest, as we have seen you." Sirius ran his hand down my back, and pressed me closer, begging us to move faster.

"You've seen us at our strongest, as we have seen you." Remus saw the motion and lead us into complying with the wish.

"Because of you, we were able to be shoulders and rocks when you needed them." When we moved into him, I leaned as best I could, and he sat up as best he could, and we caught each other in a short kiss.

Remus groaned as he watched us. "As long as you need our shoulders, they are here, as long as you need our shelter, it is here." I moved away from Sirius, and turned my head so that I could catch Remus' lips in mine.

"I didn't know what it was like to even have a friend before you came into my life." I felt a tug on my heart as Sirius said this, and I wrapped my hand around him so he could feel as good as I did that first night we had been together like this.

"I didn't know what I felt for you until it was so strong, I feared I would lose you if you were to ever know." Remus kissed my shoulder, as he wrapped his hand around Sirius and worked him with me.

"You made us happy just by being our friend." He said before moaning our names at the pleasure we were giving him.

"I don't know if you will ever understand how much you mean to us." Remus said, tugging at the chain on my neck, before licking at the sweat that was pooling around it. Sirius groaned at the picture of the two of us.

"We belong to you James." Sirius called, and uttered his warning.

"We always have." Remus said before nipping at me, something he did just before he came.

"I love you," Sirius said, and called my name alone as he shot onto our stomachs.

"I love you," Remus said and mimicked Sirius as he too shot his self deep inside of me.

"Remus, Sirius," I called as I slammed back on Remus, before shooting myself deep into Sirius. "I love you," I sighed as I fell onto Sirius after the strength left me with my climax.

"I love you too Sirius," I heard Remus sigh after he landed on my back.

"I love you too Remus," Sirius said in my ear, and I felt them lean together and catch each other in a kiss. When they broke away, Sirius placed his hand on the side of my face and turned me to look at Remus, who I gladly kissed as well. As Remus rolled off of me, I turned and kissed Sirius just as I had Remus. When the three of us were laying side by side, we heard a cough come from the doorway.

"Oh my God," Remus said shooting up, and reaching for anything that would cover his self.

"Wormtail," Sirius shouted, as he reached behind him and grabbed a pillow to cover himself with...That would have been my pillow, how did we get on this side of the bed?

"Pete," I said a lot calmer then the thoughts shouting in my head. "What are you doing?"

"I didn't see nothing." Wormtail said quickly.

"That means you saw something." Remus said in his lecture tone. "Two negatives make a positive in both Math and English." Sirius and I shot a look at our lover. "What?" Remus asked as he looked back at us. "It does." We laughed.

"Alright, well besides for a big gold ball that was covering you guys, with like streaks of other colors shooting all over the place, I didn't see anything. The gold thing was too thick." Peter said with a roll of his eyes. "You should probably know that when it went away it like divided and shot into your chests. Don't have the foggiest as too what it was, but," Peter shrugged. We all looked at our chests and saw that yellow gold had filled our symbols inside of the full moon.

"Hmm," Remus said as he looked at his icon.

"Well that's new," Sirius said from in between Remus and I.

"Huh," I said as I let it dangle in front of my face. Remus went to the library the next day, and found that he figured it was a sign that our souls had been connected. Usually in wizarding relationships they used a silver engagement ring, and at the ceremony a duplicate of the band would be formed magically at the ceremony. We figured it was because of the, in essence, vows we made, since couples didn't have sex at their ceremonies. It must have seen our necklaces as engagement rings, or it was looking for the silver, found the white gold, and combined with it. None of us really cared how it happened, we were too caught up in the fact that it had bound our souls.

A/N: Two quick things, I love this chapter, it is one of my favorites. Second, just in case you were wanting to know, I don't do malepreg. I like that with Magic, you can do things you can't with humans, and that is why the gold ball was in this story. Plus my imagination just went haywire after all that sweet, lovey-dovey stuff. So yes, I made them join souls, get married whatever, and in the next few chapters you'll understand why, hopefully. As always, if you all give me lots of little nice reviews, even if you give me one that isn't so nice, I'll post the next chapter. And again, if you could tell me what you thought of chapter 6's fantasy scene, "personal porn show", that would be awesome.