AN: So I got an amazing amount of people favoriting this story and doing story alert and stuff but not that many reviews! It's not all about the reviews for me, I write for fun, but the reason I post it is for the feedback. I also post it because, well, most people seem to enjoy the stuff I write! But I would like some more reviews please…I know people are busy but I love getting reviews. I would like to clear something up quickly that I think might have made people upset. Only one person pointed it out, but I think that others probably had similar opinions. Blair is, and always will be, my most difficult character to write about, mostly because I think she's hard to understand. But I go ahead and try my best anyways, because I also think she's the most interesting. Chuck can also be difficult to write about too, but I still write about him too. Nate, Lily, Serena…they've always been the easiest to me. I did make Blair a little OOC because it helped with the way I wanted the story to go and stuff. I don't really think this is exactly how their meeting would go, and I don't think that it would take this long for Blair to try to contact Chuck, but for the purposes of this story, it's the way I made it. I appreciate the reviewer who pointed out that this isn't exactly how it would exactly go, so thank you. I would like to justify the bit of OOC-ish just because I'm afraid if I change it it might mess up something later. But I'm glad that you're still reading!

I suspected people to be mad at Chuck because I thought that people might still be angry at what happened, especially if you disregard this season. As for me, I'm not really mad at him for sleeping w Jenny anymore. It really wasn't his fault, or Jenny's, for that matter, although I will never be able to see her in the same way again. But I am still kinda mad about the hotel. But…Chuck really didn't know how much it would cost him. So I think that maybe no one will really be mad at Chuck in this. As for Blair, she may continue to act a little OOC, just so it all works out the way I want it to, but I'll try my best for her to be as Blair-ish as possible. It's also possible that she's changed a bit.

So here's the next chapter!

Chapter 2

I feel a little sick as I see him drain his glass and leave. I want to call after him, but I'm torn. Does he really want me gone? Should I listen to him? Do what he wants?

Blair Waldorf doesn't follow anyone's orders but her own. But don't I want this too?

I can't decide. Seeing him has awoken some new feelings that I know won't just die down.

I remember how wonderful it was when we were in love. When we were happy.

Everything was perfect then. Well, not perfect, but when I look back on it, that's all I see.

Until I get to the end.

It was a tragic end, like something out of a movie. Those things don't happen in real life.

I'd always wanted for my life to be like a movie.

But not like this.

I had tried so hard not to think about what happened that I hadn't resolved my feelings about it.

Did I hate him? Was I still mad? I was pretty sure.

Why, then, had I asked him to have drinks with me tonight?

Was it wrong to hate him?

After what he did, no, I thought.

But another part of me disagreed.

Get over it, I told myself. It's over. Move on.

I'm trying.

But maybe this isn't the way to do it. Or maybe it is. Who knows?

I sigh and try to pay for the drinks, but the bartender just waves me away.

I've forgotten that this is Chuck's hotel. When he buys a drink for himself and a friend, it's free.

I leave and wonder what to do. Where to go. I don't want to go home, where Serena is most likely staying, waiting for me. Wondering where I am, what I'm doing. Hoping I'm here.

I can't let her know that I'm here. That I met with Chuck. For some reason, I feel like I need to keep it to myself.

I decide to get a room at the hotel. Something about it feels strange, but I don't want to leave. I can't leave until I get my closure. Until I feel like I can finally move on.

I try again the next day, and the next.

I call his cell phone every morning. I even try the number to his room. I assume he's now living in the penthouse again, and I know that he never used the room phone before, but I have to try now.

He doesn't answer, just like he doesn't answer his cell phone.

It takes three days. I go out shopping for new clothes and tell Serena I took a small vacation. She asks to come out and meet me, but I won't even tell her where I am. She sounds worried at first, but as I convince her I'm fine she starts to sound more hurt that I didn't take her along. I feel bad, but I still feel like it's a secret that I'm here. Better not to tell anyone. I hang up after telling her that she's free to stay at my house while I'm away.

When he finally answers, he sounds tired.

"What do you want, Blair?"

I counter his question with another. "So you finally decided to answer your phone? Why were you ignoring my calls?"

He doesn't deny it. I don't want to sound controlling, but I want to know.

"Because you said that you'd have what you needed after one drink."

"Well, I didn't. Turns out it will take longer than I thought."

"Why?"

"I didn't find what I needed."

"And what is it that you need, Blair?" he says exasperatedly.

"Look, Chuck, I just want to understand why we can't be friends."

"Because."

"That not a good enough reason."

"I just don't think it's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"We'll just and up in a mess, like always."

"We never ended up in a mess as friends."

"This time, we will. I promise."

"You don't know that."

"I do, Blair. Please. Trust me."

"No," I say stubbornly. "If you can think of one good reason why we can't be friends, why you think we'll fall apart, I'll leave you alone. If not, then we're friends."

"There are plenty of reasons, Blair. It's been too long, we've hurt each other too much, I don't want to be friends, I don't think you want to be friends, I-"

"Why would I be going to so much trouble if I didn't?" And it's true. I know that I'm not just looking for closure now. I need to fix this. I need for us to be friends. I need to stop blaming him. I need to stop blaming myself. I need him. "And none of those are real reasons. It's never been too long, we're always going to feel that pull to at least be friends, you're lying, and I do want to be friends."

"Why do you think I'm lying?" he asks softly.

"Because years ago, we loved each other more than anything. And I know that no matter what we've been through, we're still not going to be able to stay apart."

"We were doing so well," he says, still quietly. "Three years."

"Yes," I admit. "But it's over now. I wasn't strong enough, I guess. But we both knew it would happen."

"I guess. But Blair?"

"Yes?"

"I still think this is a bad idea."

"I know."

"Same as last night?"

"Yes."

We hang up.

And I go that night. And the next night. And I keep on going.

And I'm starting to think that we're friends again.

The worst thing about being friends with Chuck? I can never tell if I really am.

Sure, we have small talk, we drink, I smile, but never more. If I ever mention anything serious, he quickly changes the subject. And he never laughs, or even smiles for that matter. He never looks sad either.

We talk about Serena and Lily and Eric, but if I mention how he should try to contact them, he hastily starts talking about business deals. So I can only mention their drama and hairstyles and wardrobes. Never their relationships with him.

I learn more about the company, but never how he's dealing with life.

The strangest thing as that he won't talk about things in the past. He'll talk about recent deals or his aging forgetful secretary that he just hired or his new employees, but never the past. Never what he did for those three years, before he returned to New York. I think that maybe it's just because it's unimportant, but I get the feeling that he's hiding something. He must've done something else besides work and be alone these last few years. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking. I hate to think that he's been alone for this long. One day, though, something confuses me.

"Have you had to travel abroad over the last few years? You only just got to New York," I say carefully, trying to coax him into talking about the past.

He shrugs. "Mostly I stayed in America. Just different parts. Except…"

"What?" I ask, after he's silent for a moment.

"Those were the only places I traveled for work. Then I went to London a few times, and Paris, but only once. All for work."

There's something about the way he says work that makes me think that there were more travels, not linked with his work. I finally have my chance to talk about something other than his work and Serena, so I take a chance.

"And for pleasure?" I ask casually.

He hesitates, as if trying to decided if it's a dangerous question or not. "Prague, once," he admits.

I raise my eyebrows. "And here I thought you'd changed. The usual hotel? The usual women?"

This conversation is not at all going in the direction that Chuck wants.

"Y-you don't understand, I was just…it wasn't really for pleasure, even. More for…"

"Screwing hookers isn't for pleasure anymore?" I ask.

Chuck is getting defensive, which is just what I wanted. Finally, a real emotion.

"No! I mean, well…it was a hard time. I'm not like that anymore. It was…it was that summer. Before, even. That week." He looks down sheepishly. "But you are right, I'm different now."

"And what made you change?" I dig, knowing it's pushing it but doing it anyways.

His face darkens. "Life caught up with me. That's all."

It's too vague. Does he mean physically, with the drinking? I don't think so. I would have heard of it. Someone would have told me if Chuck was hurt, and Lily would have found out if her own stepson was hurt, bad person or not.

So it was just in his head, then. Everything he's done just caught up with him, and maybe he felt bad about all of it.

It was too much to figure out.

Chuck looks angry at the information he's given away and asks for the check.

The next night, the mask is back.

And this time, it seems impossible to break.

It becomes my whole world to break that mask. My one goal. I must break it. But it's been a week now since I broke it that once, and I still have made no progress. And I still cannot make sense of what he said.

I have to go back home soon. Serena calls multiple times daily, and she's worried about me. She wants to know where I am. Nate even calls once, and the same goes for Lily. I'm guessing that Serena has put them up to this.

I wonder how Serena and Nate are. I know that they broke up, but we'll always be together. We're the Non-Judging Breakfast Club. We stick together matter what.

Which is why I had to go after one of our members when he fell off. Maybe a little late, but I did nevertheless. Which is why I find myself again sitting next to him at the bar.

"You know, Chuck, we should really stop this."

"Stop meeting up? That what I told you from the start."

"No, drinking every night. It's not good for us."

Chuck glances at his water. He's been ordering it more and more lately. I pointed it out to him the other day, and he just said that he never appreciated water for how refreshing it is.

"Fine, it's not good for me," I say.

"Order something else."

"You know, I was thinking, maybe we could actually leave the hotel sometime," I say, ignoring his suggestion. "We could go to one of your events, since I've noticed you barely ever go."

It's true. I know because Serena has gone to a few. She seems less and less afraid to mention Chuck to me every time we talk, since I haven't lashed out at her yet, and she still urges me to visit him. She talks about him quite a bit now. She wants to see him, but she's not very determined. Most of the time she just wants to go so that she can dress up. If Chuck and I go to one, I can just suggest to Lily that she spend time with Serena in Lily's penthouse that night.

"They always seem to schedule them at inconvenient times to me," Chuck shrugs.

"Chuck, you schedule them."

"And I can be forgetful."

"Come on, it will be fun! You used to have fun at them."

"Only because I was with you," and instantly it's like he's said something wrong. "And Nate and Serena," he adds quickly, his mistake corrected.

His comment only makes me smile. It's once again another crack in the mask, and each one is a cause to celebrate.

"And you'll be with me this time, too," I say, to let him know that his comment hasn't been missed.

He turns away. "It's different now," he says.

"Please?" I plead. "It will be fun, I promise."

Chuck looks at me again and slowly nods.

And then he does the strangest thing.

He smiles.

I almost drop the glass I'm holding to my lips in surprise, and I want to go around and hug him.

Instead, I settle for grinning back at him, counting another small victory in my head.

I walk into the room next to him the next night, smiling out at everyone. We walk around for a bit, talking about the gala, before we get some drinks. Just water.

I don't worry about Serena showing up. I called Lily, and told her that I was worried about Serena and thought that it might be nice to have fun night in.

"If only I were in town!" I told her remorsefully.

Lily had lapped it right up and offered to spend some time with Serena tonight, just like I knew she would.

"What now?" Chuck asks as we look around the room.

"Introduce me to your coworkers," I suggest to him.

But he's not looking at me. He's looking behind me.

"Blair?" someone asks.

"Serena? Lily?" Chuck says.

I turn around to see Lily and Serena staring at me, completely taken by surprise.

"L-lily!" I stutter. "What are you doing here?"

"You said that you thought Serena needed a quiet night in, but Serena mentioned that Charles was in town and that she's been trying to find him at his company's events, and we decided that a night out would be more fun than a night in anyways. But we didn't think that Charles would even be here, since he's been absent from all the other ones," Lily says, looking uncertainly between Chuck and me.

"And we didn't expect to see you here, either!" Serena blurts out to me.

I look at her, but she looks ecstatic, instead of angry at me for keeping this from her. Then she looks at Chuck, and so does Lily. They all stare at each other for a minute.

"Charles," Lily finally says. "So good to see you!"

She gives him a quick hug. Chuck looks completely taken aback.

"Same here," Serena says, beaming at Chuck.

Chuck looks even more surprised.

He abruptly turns and walks away.

I give them an apologetic look.

"I'll be right back," I say.

I run after Chuck into a hall.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

He looks really angry. I want to be happy for an emotion from him, but I can't find it in me to find joy in his pain. Not anymore.

He turns away.

"Please," I say. "Don't shut me out."

He doesn't say anything. I want to break through the mask, I want to find out what's going on behind it, but most of all I want to find something to say that will make him feel better. I'm about to say something comforting, but that's not what comes out.

"Why didn't you come looking for me?" I asked. "You said that after Prague, you came back to America. But you didn't come back to New York. You didn't try to fix things. We were supposed to stick together no matter what. I may have told you to never speak to me again, but you can't have forgotten my promise. That I would always be there. But you weren't there. Why didn't you visit? Why didn't you come find me?"

Because that's the real reason I'm still upset with him. The past fights mean nothing. The fact that he never came back, even if I had told me to not speak to me again, is what hurts the most. I wish he had stayed. I didn't tell him to leave. And I never really meant that I never wanted to hear from him again. Did he think that I meant? Well, so did I, at first.

Chuck finally turns around. He looks at me in disbelief for a moment.

Finally, he opens his mouth and says "You were never the one who was missing. I was. So why didn't you?"

And before I realize that there's no good answer to that question, he's gone.

AN: I know Blair was annoying at the end because really, she expected him to know to come back when she told him to never speak to her again? But I wanted to end the chapter this way.

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Do you like me writing all the above stuff or no? It takes a while (well it takes longer for the second chapter, because most people do story alert and stuff like that for the first chapter), and I don't know if anyone cares about it. I like recognizing people who review and stuff, but if it doesn't matter to you, I'll stop it cuz it takes a while.

Pleaseeeeeeee review!