AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I'm glad you weren't mad at me! One person asked if it was a tragedy or a drama, and it's true, this could be a tragedy more than a drama, but I thought it would give it away if I put it in the tragedy category. Maybe I will now though…enjoy!

Chapter 6

Chuck

Seeing Blair in my room scared me to death. Maybe not an appropriate term to use, given the circumstances, but it nearly did.

I noticed what she was holding, and my worst fears were confirmed.

She'd read the letters.

They were just supposed to be harmless, just supposed to be meant to help me cope. I never really intended on her seeing them.

In fact, I'd been hiding what was in those letters for the whole time she was here.

Maybe that was what drove her to sneak into my room and look around.

I want to be mad at her for this, and I was at first, but after she left I felt nothing but empty. And maybe a little mad at myself. It was my own fault for keeping this from her in the first place. She was bound to find out eventually.

It's not my fault, I tell myself. I only wanted to help her, to protect her.

It's better if she stays away. I tried so hard not to let her back into my life, but in the end I couldn't do it. She was too stubborn. And I was weak.

At least I'd managed to keep this from her for a while. I'd managed not to fall apart in front of her.

That was something, at least. Although I had yelled at her…

And now I'm sitting alone, on the couch. Like so many other nights.

The meeting with Serena and the others had gone…okay. I hadn't wanted to see them. I didn't want to talk to them. Partly for the same reason I didn't want to let Blair back in my life, but also because I was still mad.

But they had made it very easy, talking to them. I didn't let on that I was glad to see them, because even though I was mad at them, I was happy too. So relieved that I wasn't alone anymore.

I just faked indifference, like I had for so long. I told them a bit about my life but shrugged them off as soon as possible, hoping that they would stay but at the same time knowing that they needed to stay away. For their own good.

I headed upstairs, but I did not expect to see Blair there. I did not expect her to be sitting there, reading every painful detail of my biggest secret.

The old Chuck Bass is gone. Can't she tell?

Or maybe he isn't, just hidden away. It doesn't matter. Soon it will be too late to matter. It's no use trying to change back now.

This indifference is so much easier, anyways. I can pretend it isn't happening, and that is the only thing that keeps me sane.

I can only think about it when I am writing those letters.

I even try not to think about it while at the hospital. I have to think about something else there. I hate it there. It's my fault that I lost everything that ever mattered anything to me and then I became doomed to spend the rest of my short life in the place I hate most. It's my fault for doing such bad things to deserve that.

But Blair doesn't deserve this. She does not deserve to see me die. Because for some crazy reason, a few years ago, she had fallen in love with me. And you can't just turn that off. Somewhere, deep down, I suspect-or maybe just hope-that she still loves me. I know that she at least cares about me.

Where is she now? Surely she wouldn't just give up. Maybe I should talk to her, explain…maybe lie. To get her not to worry. Maybe I can say I've been saved, somehow. That I am going to live.

But she won't believe me. I can't fool her that easily.

Even so, I want to see her, to at least apologize for yelling at her.

So I call the front desk to ask if she has checked out of her room, and they tell me that she has.

I'm starting to worry. Where is she?

I don't want to, but I dial a number on the phone, one that I hope has not changed in the past three years.

"Hello?" Serena asks after a few rings.

"Serena."

"Chuck?" She sounds surprised.

"Yes?"

"I didn't know you still had my number."

"Why would I delete it?"

"I…I don't know. What is it? It's late."

"I know. Is Blair with you?"

"No," Serena says slowly. "Why? What happened?"

Suddenly Serena sounds worried.

"Is she okay?" she asks, concerned.

"I don't know. That's why I'm calling. Something…happened. We had a fight, I guess you could say. I told her to get out of my room."

"Why would you do that?" Serena demands angrily.

"She snuck in," I explain simply.

"And?" She doesn't get it. How could she?

"She found something that I'd really rather she'd never seen."

"What was it?"

"I can't tell you. Just…I need to find her, okay? I'm really worried."

"Okay, okay. What happened after you yelled at her?"

"She left, just like I told you. I called the front desk, and she checked out of her hotel room. And she's not with you, so I don't know where she is…"

"How long ago was this?"

"Well, I yelled at her about an hour and a half ago. I've been up here since, and then I called the front desk and got worried."

"Hang on. I'll bring Nate and we'll be there soon. We can all look for her together."

"Okay. See you soon."

"Okay."

"And Serena?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Hey, don't worry. We'll find her. She's a smart girl. She'll be fine." Serena says gently.

I guess she can tell how worried I am. I'm terrified. Ever since Prague…well, what if something happens to her on the street? The alleys of New York City are not much better than the alleys of Prague.

I hang up, and I wait for them to come over.

When they show up just 20 minutes later, I find that I'm once again happy to see them.

I wish, not for the first time, that I had just a little more time. I wish that I can change things, somehow. That somehow, I can be friends with them all again.

But my time is coming, and it's coming fast.

Any day now.

It might even be tonight.

I just hope that I can find Blair first.

Serena

We meet Chuck in the lobby. Any anger I had towards him for yelling at Blair melts away as I see the lost look on his face. He's obviously really worried about Blair, and it's sweet. He doesn't need to worry. Blair can take care of herself, I know that. She's strong. She's probably just at a restaurant or some other hotel.

Blair's very classy. She would not be anywhere beneath her.

"Chuck," I greet him. "It's good to see you."

He just nods, glancing at Nate. Nate manages a weak smile.

I wonder what it's like for them, now. I've always been pretty friendly with Chuck, and I care about him. But we've had disagreements, and it's pretty much given that I'll take the side of Blair over him. Sometimes it even causes me to stop talking to him, although not all of the time. But with Nate…they lived together. They were best friends. They were practically brothers. And Nate just…abandoned him after what happened. I can understand why Chuck might be especially mad at him. And I can understand why Nate might feel a little awkward around Chuck now. I feel awkward, too. Although I think of Chuck in the same way I always have, there is no way to tell if the person standing in front of me is a stranger or a friend. He can't be a complete stranger, though, or Blair would not have stayed for so long. And this is not the first time Chuck has pushed away someone he cares about. It is very like Chuck to kick Blair out because he felt uncomfortable around her or because they were too close. I wonder what Blair did to make him so mad…

We stand there for a moment awkwardly.

"Hey, look, man, I'm sorry." Nate finally speaks up. "We shouldn't have let this happen to you. We should've tried to contact you."

"It's not like you made this easy for us, though," I argue, stepping in.

I can understand why Chuck is mad, but at the same time it's not completely our fault.

"You left. And you didn't come back. You didn't exactly leave on good terms, either," I continue.

He shrugs. "I appreciate the two of you trying to kiss and make up with me, but this isn't really the main problem right now. Blair is missing. We need to find her."

"That's what we're here for, Chuck, but don't you think you might be overreacting a bit?" I ask.

"Yeah, what could you have possibly said that made her so upset?" Nate adds.

Chuck shakes his head quickly. "It's something that's between Blair and me."

"We need to know, Chuck. Otherwise we don't know how upset she is, and that could help us find out where she is. We know her habits from the past few years, and you don't. You might not know how to find her."

Chuck scowls. "She hasn't changed. She's still as stubborn and persistent as always."

I sigh, annoyed. "Okay, so why do you think that? Chuck, really, we need more details here."

"I told you, Blair was in my room when I wasn't, which I specifically told her not to do-"

"So you were hiding something?" Nate asks.

"There were some things in my room that I didn't want her to see," Chuck says evasively.

"Like what?" I ask, now very curious.

"It's not important."

"Yes, it is!" I insist.

I'm starting to get a little apprehensive. What is in Chuck's room? I'm almost expecting to find out that he's hiding a dead body or something. Why was it so important that Blair didn't see whatever it was? She knows what kind of person she is. I don't expect Chuck to have been hiding something small from her.

"Why was she so upset?" Nate asks.

Chuck looks like he's debating something.

"Blair is worried about me," he says finally.

"Worried? Why would she be worried?" I ask.

"She thinks that something's going to happen to me. She thinks I'm going to…well, she thinks I'm going to die. Soon."

"It's not true, of course," he adds hastily, seeing my expression.

"So remind me again why she thinks this?" Nate asks.

"It doesn't matter," Chuck says. "What matters is that she does, and she was in hysterics."

So that's why Blair is upset. I can definitely see her freaking out over this. She cares really deeply about Chuck, and even though she stayed away for a long time, that hasn't changed. And my guess is that it's even worse now that they're friends again, or maybe more than just friends...I can't even imagine how upset Blair must be. We need to find her right away.

But I'm still a little confused. Not all of this makes sense…I don't understand how this happened.

"So why didn't you tell her it wasn't true?" I demand. This whole thing just doesn't sound right.

"I was in such a bad mood, and I was mad that she was sneaking around, so I just told her to get out. I didn't even realize why she was so upset until after she left."

"Okay," I say, taking a deep breath, accepting the fact that I'm not going to get all of the facts right now. "Okay. So Blair thinks that you're going to die?"

Chuck nods.

"And then you yelled at her and she left?"

He nods again.

"And now she's not here or at her house."

This one isn't a question.

"Okay, so maybe it is time to get worried."

"We'll find her," Nate says, trying to sound confident but failing. "We will."

I nod. "Let's split up. We're more likely to find her that way."

"Where should we be looking?" Chuck asks.

"Bars, hotels, anyplace nearby. I don't think she's gone far, if she's really upset."

"There's always the possibility that she's gone home since you left," Nate says to me.

"I already told Dorota to text me if she does."

"Look, even if you think it's below Blair, look there," I say. "I would not have said this before, but now that I know why she's upset…we should look everywhere."

The two boys nod, and I see the determination on their faces. Our bond is one that goes way back, and old grudges and recent struggles cannot stand in the way of that. Maybe it did at one point, but we won't let that happen again.

No matter what has happened, we all care deeply about Blair. We're going to find her.

AN: So this chapter, as you've probably noticed, is not from Blair's POV. The next chapter most likely will be, and the rest of the story too.

I hope you liked the chapter!

Please review!

Thanks for…

Reviewing: JissyLuv13, chaval, Aleshaa, Tiff xoxo, XOXObabyV, geller516, Izzi, ilikeitrough, ilovecujo1993, QueenBee10, Samantha, and HughLaurieLover

Story Alert: TayaPearl, LindsEmmo, and SKaylor95

Sorry for not giving you guys much time to read this chapter, but I thought you'd like the quick update!

Pleasee review!