Chapter 9-Right from the Bass Playbook

I'm a little disgusted at the state of the motel we're in, so I have Serena do all of the talking.

"Excuse me, could we check into Room 12?" Serena asks sweetly.

"There's already someone there," the man at the desk says, chewing gum loudly. "You want one of the other rooms? 13 is open."

"Taken? By who?" Serena asks, politely curious.

Taken over by the Serena charm, he tells her right away. "Mr. Humphrey."

I start to laugh. "Humphrey? That's creative," I say sarcastically to Serena. The fact that he's really here and probably okay has calmed me down some.

I'm not surprised that Chuck has come up with a fake name, but I had expected him to choose something with more class. Then again, he is staying in a cheap motel.

Serena turns around and gives me a warning look for laughing, then turns back to the man with a smile.

"Dan!" she says. "He was supposed to stay in 13; we were supposed to take 12! I guess he mixed them up…you see, we're superstitious."

I almost laugh at this too, and at how completely seriously she says this, but I control myself.

"We can't stay in 13. And 12 is our lucky number! Maybe you could just open up 12 for us and we'll talk to Dan and explain his mistake?" she asks hopefully, smiling and even flipping her hair a little.

It's entertaining to watch the man practically drool, but I've gotten a little tired of it after so many years.

"Yeah, sure," he says. "I'll get the extra key, let's go."

"Oh, do you think we could go alone? Dan doesn't really like strangers too much…"

He's already nodding, handing her the key, barely listening. "Yeah, do whatever."

"Thanks!" she says, turning around and gesturing me to follow her as she walks out the door.

"Lay it on thick, why don't you?" I say, amused.

"At least I got us in! You owe me. That was painful!"

"Yeah, you looked like you were in terrible pain," I joke. "But nice job."

As we try to find Room 12, I start to get nervous again. I feel guilty for laughing before. What if, while Serena was flirting and I was laughing, Chuck was dying alone, of the floor of his motel room? The thought terrifies me, and I walking so fast it's hard for Serena to keep up, even with her long legs.

"Found it!" I say, pointing. "Come on!"

We walk to the door and Serena uses the key to open it. I push inside.

There's no one there.

"Hello?" I ask into the semi-darkness. Serena switches on a light and I close the door.

"Chuck?" Serena calls. "Are you here?"

There's a groan in response, coming from the bed.

Chuck is so completely submerged under the covers that we didn't see him at first.

"Chuck!" Serena exclaims, running over and throwing the blankets off of him.

"Really, Serena? Can't a man sleep around here?"

He glares at her then yanks the covers back up.

I run to them.

"Oh, my god, you're okay! You have no idea how worried we've been! You can't just run away like that! You were mad when I ran off, even after you yelled at me, how could you do the same to me?" I lecture him, masking my delight at seeing him.

"Blair?" he asks. "I should have known you'd be here with the blonde."

"Of course I'm here," I say in relief, which is quickly replaced with dread again. He might still be here for now, but he won't be for much longer.

I sit down on the bed with him. Serena smiles at us. "I don't know about you, Chuck, but I'm starving, and I'm sure you are too. We've spent all day looking for you. Why don't I go run and get us some dinner, and then we'll talk about what's happened and our plan before moving back to the Empire, okay?"

She says it like it's very reasonable, and does not leave Chuck any time to respond.

"I'll be back in less than an hour."

She quickly leaves, grabbing her purse.

"You really shouldn't have run off…" I say quietly to Chuck.

He pulls the blankets off of his face. "Look, can you please just…not talk about this? Talk about something else for a while. Or even better, don't do any talking at all."

We can both hear the suggestiveness of the comment, but I remind myself that that's not really who Chuck is anymore.

"Sorry," he says. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know," I say. "And I'm sorry that this is all we've been talking about. But wouldn't you do the same, if you knew I was in danger?"

"Yes, but you wouldn't like it either."

I sigh, accepting that.

"But I would have to put up with it," I say. "Because it wouldn't be fair of me to just not talk about it. To ignore it. We need to talk about it, so that I can understand, we need to say goodbye…"

I take a shaky breath at this.

"Okay," he says. "Bye. Now are we done?"

"You're not taking this seriously. I'm serious, Chuck. I don't understand how you can be so calm about all of this. You're almost…joking about it."

"I've had years to come to terms with this, first of all. Second of all, it helps me cope. And lastly, as I told you, I know I deserve this. And I know that there's no point of me staying here anyways."

"And as I told you, you don't deserve this, and there is most definitely a point in you staying here! I don't know how you can say that. You used to live for the hotel. You used to live for Nate. You used to live for Lily, and Serena and Eric. You used to live for me! And you have all of those things again."

He shakes his head. "I don't really have all of that. Especially not you."

"What do you mean, you don't have me? Of course you do. You know how I feel about you. You know I wish we could be together again…"

"No, I don't know, Blair. Do you really think we'd be sitting here right now having a personal conversation if you hadn't found out about this? I'm still not sure why you came back in the first place, but we didn't automatically fall into old patterns when you did. You would never have told me that I should live for you and stay here for you before you found out I was sick. You're just saying this because a long time ago, we used to be in love. I thought we were inevitable. I thought we'd always get back together if we broke up. And I think that you thought the same. You always figured we'd have time to get back together, and now there's no time so you're rushing to say everything you used to feel now. But I don't believe you really feel that way. You're just clinging to old feelings. You're in love with the idea of us getting back together, because we're Chuck and Blair. I said we were inevitable but…I meant that we were inevitable as the people we used to be. It's clear now that we're not those people anymore. Can you really look me in the eye and tell me you love me, this version of me, right now?"

I look down. He's right, maybe. I do want us to get back together, but it may be for all of the wrong reasons. Because I feel bad. Because I can't stand the thought of him dying alone. Because I can't stand the old Chuck not being with me when he dies. Because I used to love him. But do I really love him now? This version of him? Do I really know him enough to say that I do? I've been telling myself this is just Chuck with a mask on, but I'm once again wondering if it really is a different person, and I've just been kidding myself. What do I love about this Chuck?

"I didn't think so," he says quietly. "I'm different than I was. Now, I would never do the awful things I did to you back then. But I also can't be like the man you used to love. I'm sorry."

We sit there in silence.

"Maybe you should go," he says, still so quiet.

"But I can't leave you," I say.

"You're not really leaving me. You're just leaving a stranger, Blair. A stranger."

But I can't leave, because the mask theory could still be true, he could still be under there, somewhere…"

"No," I whisper. "I don't know that. Prove to me that you're not you, and I'll go."

"You used to say I was me, just wearing a mask, but you're wrong! There is no mask!" he says, harsh now. "There never was. Get over your fantasy, and leave me alone. Because I want peace and quiet. I want to be alone."

"No one wants to be alone…" I say, startled by this outburst. "Especially not in your condition…"

"Well I do," he says, and he looks at me.

I expect his face to be angry, or upset, but it's not. It just looks…dead. His eyes are just dark and dead. I used to be able to find his old self somewhere in him, but now…I can't see him anymore. I don't know this man. The old Chuck is already dead. If there was any life in him, it just died in front of me. He was there in those letters, but that was it. And that's dead now. It'd been killed off by this stranger, who has finally completely gotten rid of his feelings. He's not pretending anymore. This man is just a hollow shell, and it shouldn't matter to me if he dies, because the real him has been dead for a long time now.

I finally nod, and I get up to leave. I walk to the door, and it strikes me that I never got to say goodbye to the old Chuck. The closest way to do that is to try to say it through the new one.

I go back and kiss him on the cheek.

"Goodbye Chuck," I say, and I turn and leave before he has any chance to react.

I run into Serena not far from the room.

"Hey!" she says cheerful. "I just got the food. Let's go give it to Chuck!"

I guess she thinks I'm meeting her there, or that I was taking a walk. I shake my head and keep walking.

"No, let's go," I say.

"Why? We can't just leave Chuck; I've barely had the chance to talk to him since we found out!"

"I'm afraid it's too late for that, S. He's already dead."

"What?" Serena gasps.

"Well, he's really still alive-"

Serena breathes a sigh of relief.

"-but the real him already died a long time ago. It all started after he slept with Jenny Humphrey, and it's too late to change it now. He's dead, he's completely gone, it's too late. If you wanted to say goodbye you should have said it before he went to Prague."

"What do you mean? Blair, did something happen between you two?"

"No. I just realized what I've been denying for months."

"How? I mean, what happened?"

"We talked, and he told me to let go of my fantasy. He yelled a little at that part, but mostly he was painfully quiet. And when I looked at him…I couldn't see him anymore. So I left. There's nothing left I, or we, can do. That shell of a man can die alone if he really wants to, he told me himself that's what he wants."

"Blair, you're an idiot."

"Excuse me?" I say, taken aback.

"Do you really think he meant all of that? If you do, you don't know Chuck as well as I thought you did. I know you think he's changed, and I agree. But he's still in there somewhere. And you can get him back. You can always get him back! You've thought that you lost him so many times before, Blair. And you even said that you couldn't see him anymore before."

"This time is different," I insist. "He's gone. This time he's finished what he's threatened to do so many times before. This time, it's too late."

Serena shakes her head. "No, B. It's never too late. It's never too late to save someone you love."

"I don't love him. I love the old him."

"Is that what Chuck told you? You need to learn now to believe everything you hear, B. I thought years of Gossip Girl taught you that. You want to know how I know that he's not gone? Because he's done this before. He's trying to push you away, Blair, don't you see? It's a pattern that's been repeated so many times. It comes right out of the Bass playbook. He doesn't want to deal with the pain, or he doesn't want you to have to deal with him, so he pushes you away! He lies! He hides his feelings."

I don't say anything, so Serena continues. "You used to fight for him. And you're going to give up now? This is not the Blair I know and love. You fought for him, and he fought for you too. He didn't give up. And he wouldn't give up now. Do you really think he would? He would keep on fighting. He would do whatever it took to get you back."

She waits a moment for that to sink in.

"Please, B, fight for him. He did for you. You owe him this."

We open the door to the room and Serena gives me an encouraging push.

It took a while, but I finally accepted than Serena was right. Pushing me away is proof that he's still in there somewhere. And I can't just give up. I have to keep fighting for him until the end.

"Chuck?" I call cautiously.

There's no answer. Serena flips on the lights and sees that Chuck is under his blankets again, resting.

"I'm sorry that I left," I continue. "I shouldn't have. I want you to know that you can try to push me away, but it's not going to work. I'm always going to come back. I'm here for you, whatever version of yourself you are. And I've realized that you are still in there somewhere, maybe changed, but it's still you in that bed right now. And I'm not going to leave you."

I walk over to his bed and Serena follows.

"Say something," I say. "Please."

There's a pause. I'm starting to think he's asleep when he finally speaks.

"You…you came back?"

There's something off about his voice.

"Chuck?" I ask cautiously. "Are you okay?"

I pull down the covers to reveal his face.

"'mfine," he says, but through gritted teeth.

"Something's wrong," I say to Serena. "Oh, no, is this really happening now?"

"Don't…break out the goodbyes. I'm…I'm going be fine….for now, I don't…we-" he stops.

"-should just avoid them," he says quickly, and then fights to get the covers back over his face.

I pull them back down and my hand brushes against his face.

"You're burning up," I say. "And you're sweating. Serena, call 911, we need to get him help now!" My voice is rising in urgency.

"I'm already on it," Serena says, dialing the numbers.

"Shh, it's going to be okay," I tell Chuck, stroking his face. "It's going to be fine."

He stays silent. We both know it's not. His eyes are closed and he's breathing heavily.

"Don't bother," he says. "Hospital…can't help…too late…"

"We have to try!" I say.

He shakes his head. "Don't make me go back there…"

I give him a pitying look. I wish I could let him stay here, but I can't. I have to try to do the impossible. I have to try to keep him alive.

He opens his eyes and looks at me. "But…you need to. Don't want you to…have to deal with…the body…"

"That's not why," I whisper, the thought never having occurred to me. "I'm not going to give up on you. We'll figure something out. Are you sure there was nothing? Not even something that barely has a chance of working? Or a new medicine that's just being tested? Come on, there has to be something."

"What's the point?" he asks after a moment. "Why?"

"Because I can't let you leave me!" I'm crying now, but I don't miss that he didn't answer the question. "Please, Chuck, I came back because I care a lot about you, and because I knew you would do the same for me. I know you care about me too. So if you can't do this for yourself, do it for me. I need you to live."

"Don't do…anything stupid after," he tells me, still ignoring the question. "Serena…keep her grounded…."

I glance over at Serena, who is still holding the phone to her ear with silent tears running down her face. She nods.

"Chuck…no…tell me….is there something? Tell me there's something I can do…"

He just shakes his head. "There's nothing that I would ever consider," and he slumps against the pillows, unconscious.

I lift my head as memories flash through my head.

"Is that a clue?" I ask Chuck's motionless face. "Chuck! Is that a clue?"

I try to shake him a little, but Serena grabs my arms.

"Blair, don't! You could hurt him!"

I look slowly up at her.

"How did your talk with Jack go? Did he offer you anything in exchange for the hotel?" I stare at Serena for a moment.

"W-what?" she stumbles over her words, looking at me fearfully.

I shake my head at her and smile.

"Nothing I would ever consider. Nothing I would ever consider!"

Serena looks at me as if I've gone crazy.

"The hotel. He told me Jack gave him an offer he wouldn't consider, but he wouldn't tell me what it was. Just like now! His nurse gave him an option to let him stay alive, Serena. It wasn't a great one, but it was there. I don't know if he's planned for me to do this all along, like with Jack, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that there's a way to save him!"

"But he said he didn't consider it…I don't think he wants this, Blair."

"Maybe…but either way, now I know there's an option."

"But Blair, last time this happened, you both ended up losing."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I mean, we did. We lost each other. But…Chuck got the hotel. That's what he had wanted all along. And then we got back together! So this time…Chuck will win. He'll get to live. And even if somehow it pulls us apart, it won't last long."

"I don't know, B…"

"One last chance to save your man…" I say. "This is it. My last chance to save Chuck. And I'm going to follow through with it this time…"

Serena is still looking at me like I'm crazy, and maybe I am.

But I've found something to hold onto, finally.

I've found a tiny glimmer of hope.

The ambulance is quick, and before I know it, I'm in the waiting room waiting to talk to the nurse. I mostly stare at the wall, thinking. What was Chuck telling me? How can I save him? Serena looks worried about me, and she tries to get me to drink some coffee a few times, then gives up. For some reason I'm not as upset as Serena seems to think I am, mostly because Chuck isn't dead yet. And I know I'm going to find a way to save him. It's the only think I'm certain of. That I won't let Chuck die. I also still feel in shock, almost as if I can't process what's going on around me. All that matters is staring at that wall and waiting for the nurse to come so that I can do what I came here for and have Chuck back. I wait and wait, hoping the nurse will have some much needed answers for me.

But someone gets there before me.

"Hi, I'm Lily Humphrey. I received a call that my son, Charles Bass, is here? Do you know if there's anyone I should talk to?"

My head snaps up and I see Lily talking to the woman behind the counter.

"Mom!" Serena exclaims, jumping up to greet her.

"Serena!" she responds. "What are you doing here? Did you get a call too?"

"No. We were with Chuck when it happened."

"Then you must know what's going on. What happened? Why is Charles here?"

Serena glances at me. I've gone back to staring at the wall.

"It's kind of a long story."

"Well, I-" Lily starts, but is interrupted by a nurse calling her name. "There's the nurse. I'd better go discuss the situation with her."

We follow her, and she doesn't object. I guess she figures that we have as much a right to know what's going on as she does, if not more, and we know more about it anyways.

"Mrs. Humphrey, as I'm sure Mr. Bass has told you, he has a stomach infection from a gunshot wound he received three years ago-"

"No, he most certainly hasn't told me!" Lily exclaims.

"He hasn't?" The nurse looks confused.

"It's been three years since we've talked…well, until last month, when my daughter and I went to find him at a party. But we haven't been close since then either."

"I wonder why he made you his only emergency contact then…he also left you this." The nurse hands her a letter.

I almost groan at the sight of yet another letter. I just hope it's not as bad as the other letters. I don't think I can take any more surprises.

"His infection has spread to his heart, which Mr. Bass has been prepared for for a long time. I'm guessing that the letter will tell you something about where his will is. Right now his heart is in critical danger. The infection is causing it to stop beating, but we've hooked him up to a machine to keep it beating. The problem is, we haven't been able to wake Mr. Bass up, and we don't expect to. Theoretically, we could keep him alive to a very old age, but that will be costly and virtually pointless, since he will never wake up. Mr. Bass has asked us to take him off life support at this point. But considering your family's power and relation to Mr. Bass, you have the power to ask us not to. It's up to you."

Lily looks at us. "Well, if this is what he wanted…"

"No!" I say suddenly. "Chuck told me that there was something else. Something else that would save him. He didn't have a chance to tell me what it was, but he wanted me to do it."

The nurse looks at me doubtfully.

"I'm serious! Please. He wanted me to do it, he told me to! And anyways, if we have the power to keep him on life support, we should have the power to have this option too."

The nurse hesitates, then gives in. "Mr. Bass has already told me not to do this. But if you were with him most recently…and you are a very powerful family…I will tell you, as a special favor to you. You should know that I wouldn't do this for just anyone."

"So?" I ask. "What is it?"

"There is a very new, very risky series of operations. Most people die from it. It's only used as a last resort. I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone, because it gives some families hope then takes it away, but I have to ask. Mr. Bass blatantly refused."

"Why?"

"It's very expensive."

"That's ridiculous. Chuck is a billionaire."

"Mr. Bass recently closed his accounts. He only has a little in a spending account. He didn't expect to pay any bills past this week. He thought he'd be dead. And he's not dead yet, so any money that any of you might receive from him will not be available to you. The whole thing will take a lot of time and be very costly. Mr. Bass would have had to ask someone to handle the expenses, even if he had given the money to them. That person would need to come in for updates pretty frequently, too. They'd be tied to him for a long time. And there'd be no telling if the money he'd given them would be enough. He didn't want anyone to have to pay for him, especially when it was so likely it wouldn't work."

There's silence.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" I say shakily. "If he's going to die if we don't, we have to do this."

Lily and Serena look at me pityingly.

"I know you want to save Chuck, Blair, but this is just so risky…and he didn't want you to do it," Serena says.

"What do I have to lose? You said yourself that Chuck would keep fighting for me. He would spend all the money and time in the world on me so that I could live! And I'm going to do the same for him," I say, determined.

Lily looks at the nurse and nods. "I want what's best for Charles, but if this will keep him alive…we should at least try it. And Blair, you're not alone. I'll help with the expenses and coming in for updates. You have my support."

Serena sighs. "Okay, me too," she says. "If you're going to do this no matter what, then I'm going to help you. I want Chuck to stay alive too."

"Okay," the nurse said. "We'll get started as soon as possible. All of you should go home. We could lose him in the beginning, or we could lose him two weeks from now. Or he could live. No matter what, there's no point in staying."

"You mean we can't see him?" I ask.

"I'm afraid not. Mrs. Humphrey, I'll call with updates." She nods at us and leaves.

Lily opens the letter and is silent for a moment as she reads it.

"Charles has asked me to take over the company. If I don't want to I'm supposed to choose someone else," she says.

Lily has been helping out with the company for years, but somehow her and Chuck never seemed to need to cross paths anymore. But I guess Chuck still trusts her over anyone else to take control of his company.

"It's supposed to be in the event of his death, but I will talk to the board about Charles' condition. Maybe I can take control until he gets back. I don't own the company without his will, so it won't be my decision. But I think that they will agree."

"What about the press?" Serena asks. "Chuck didn't want anyone knowing about this before he was gone, but I don't think we can keep this from the world."

"I'll try my best," Lily says. "We'll tell them that he's away for his health, and hope that the truth doesn't get out."

I sigh and collapse into the nearest chair. Serena sits down next to me and I look up at her.

"How am I going to do this?" I ask quietly. "I know this is what's right. I'm not going to give up on him. But I just don't know how I'll make it through…everything's going to change now."

Serena nods and takes my hand. "I know, B. It is. It's not going to be easy. But I'll be there for you every step of the way."

She gives my hand a squeeze and then gets up.

"Come on. It's time to go home."

I let Serena lead me out, Lily behind us.

I'm looking forward to resting, but I know that I won't get much of it for the next few weeks.

Chuck is my life now. And I'm going to spend all of my time and energy to make sure he makes it back to me.

To save a life, I would do a lot. But for someone I love…I'm going to do it no matter what. There's no question. I'm going to save him.

AN: Okay, this was originally 3 chapters I think? I decided to post it all as one. The next chapter is long too! So that means extra reviews, right?

Oh and I'm sorry if I made it seem like Blair is too dependent on Chuck here…cuz I hate that, I don't like in books when the girl like can't live without the boy (*cough* *cough* New Moon *cough* *cough*-don't mean to offend anyone I actually kinda enjoyed the books but I didn't like Bella) but when it goes both ways its sometimes okay…like in Romeo and Juliet…idk I didn't mean to make it seem bad I just tried to make it seem like she wasn't going to accept losing him, like that just wasn't an option.

Also I'm sorry that I made so much happen in this chapter…I know I said I would wait longer but it was longer before I put the chapters together…hope you don't mind!

Oh also, I know there is not a lot of CB for a CB story…I know they still aren't together…so I'm sorry I hope it's not making you lose interest! I hope you stick with me until the end!

I'm really big on happy endings but as for this story…we'll see.

Thanks for…

Reviewing: Samantha, QueenBee10, awakeningezgi, Hoey, ktsongbird, Aleshaa, and HughLaurieLover

Story Alert: ktsongbird

Favorite Story: Erica514

Favorite Author: jdhorses

Okay…I feel like I keep getting less and less reviews so please review! It will give me motivation to post again sooner/write more!