More time passed and everyone continued to see less and less of Katalina. And while Zuko was actually relieved by that at first, he was beginning to hate it. He thought that not having her around would help his relationship with Mai, but it didn't make a difference. And he only ever missed seeing Katalina. He missed her to the point of feeling sick. But he knew he also felt that way because of how things had ended between them.
He hated himself for that.
"Zuko?" Mai interrupted his thoughts one night.
"Come on in," he replied, sitting up in his bed.
She entered the room and sat down beside him. "I'm worried about you," she told him. "We all are."
"I'm fine," he lied.
"I know you better than that. And I know you're far from being fine. I mean, you look pale and your eyes are bloodshot and you haven't been sleeping or eating much as of lately."
He shrugged his shoulders. "It's no big deal."
"It is a big deal, Zuko! What's wrong? Please tell me!"
"If you wanna be helpful, then just leave me alone," he replied, laying back on his bed and curling up into a ball.
Mai took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "This is about Katalina, isn't it?" Her voice was low. She hadn't wanted to ask that question, but she knew the situation would come to it eventually.
Zuko sat still for a long time. He was trying to figure out the exact right words to say. That proved to be more difficult than he thought it would be. Finally, though, he sat back up. She reluctantly looked over at him, but he kept his head and his gaze down.
"I haven't been completely honest with you," he began to admit. "Or with myself, in that matter."
"What happened in the Fire Nation?" she asked for the umpteenth time since he had returned.
He sighed. "Lina meant it when she said that she never wanted to break us up or steal me from you or whatever."
"Why are you still defending her?"
"Because she deserves it. She never did anything wrong, Mai. Okay? I'm the one who messed up."
"What do you mean?"
"I kissed her," he finally told her.
Her breath caught in her throat as she looked away from him, a hurt expression spreading across her face. "You kissed her?"
He nodded. "Yeah…I did."
"And what did she do?"
"She got mad at me and stuck up for you."
She rolled her eyes. "Please, why would she do that?"
"Because she never wanted this to happen." He finally looked up at her. "She was rooting for us, Mai. She really was."
She only shook her head, keeping it turned away from him. "You know, I've been trying really hard to deny this for a really long time."
"Deny what?"
"The fact that you and Katalina are meant to be together."
He couldn't help but to laugh at that. "Trust me, we're not mean to be together at all."
"Oh, yes you are. And if you can't realise that, then…" she trailed off with a heavy sigh.
"Then what?"
Suddenly, she stood up. "I think it's time for me to leave."
"Leave?" he repeated, his head following her now. "Wait, what do you mean by that?"
"I mean that there's no point for me to stay here any longer."
He got to his feet as well. "You don't have to go anywhere."
"I'm not saying I have to go." She smiled sheepishly. "I just think it'd be better if I did go."
"Mai—"
"You're in love with her," she cut him off. His head dropped again. "And she's in love with you. And you two are meant to be together."
He squeezed his eyes shut. "Stop saying that."
"Why?"
"Because it's not true."
"Then why did you kiss her?"
He opened his eyes again and they finally met with her gaze.
"I never meant to hurt you," he spoke up after a few long moments of silence had fallen between them
"I believe you."
"Just stay here with us."
"I can't," she denied. "I'm making the choice for you, Zuko," she then told him. "You're choosing Katalina."
"She doesn't want anything to do with me."
"Since when do you give up?"
"Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"Trying to set me up with her now?"
"Because I knew this was bound to happen. I already told you that. And while it does hurt, I've still been prepared for this."
"I don't want you to hurt." He shook his head. "I went about this all the wrong way. I'm so sorry."
"You don't have to apologise."
"You have every reason to hate me."
She smiled. "I know." She kissed him and the cheek and went to leave. But Zuko grabbed her hand to stop her. "What is it?" she asked.
He thought long and hard, but no words formed in his mouth. So instead, he just let go of Mai's hand. And she hesitantly walked away. Once she was gone, he fell back onto his bed. His elbows rested on his knees while his face rested in the coverage of his hands. His mind was processing what had just happened. He was still trying to force himself to believe it all, despite the fact that he knew how he truly felt. For some reason, though, he couldn't admit it to himself.