A/N: Hello, I thought this next chapter would give you another clue. But I warn you now- I might have used idiosyncrasies from both men. And it does contain sexual talk. They're both fully-grown adults here.

xXx

The man kissing my neck wordlessly took his hands from underneath my shirt and left. That meant that it was just me and my husband standing there. He looked at me. I looked at him. It was only then that I noticed his expression for the first time. It wasn't anger, betrayal or even upset. And I didn't think he was doing his stoic-face thing.

He was the first to speak. "I saw this coming, you know."

I just blinked at him.

"It was easy to see that you still loved him."

"It was easy to love him," I said, able to speak at last.

"It was lust as well. That was a huge part of it."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he had me there.

"We've been married for over twenty years. I know you well, sweetheart."

"I'm not ashamed."

"Oh, I know that as well. I have been watching the both of you. That sweet smell you have around you whenever you're near him? That's no perfume."

I blushed a little at this. "I'm surprised you recognized it - it's been so long."

"Not to mention some of his...reactions to you," he continued as though I hadn't said anything.

"You stopped 'reacting' to me."

"I don't want to argue."

It was in that moment that I realized how he felt; he was tired. Not of me, but of our life together. It has been as tedious for him as it had for me. I felt so selfish. So low. So-

"I cheated on you, you know," he said, a little too casually.

My mouth fell open.

"You bastard!" I shrieked at him. Thoughthe fact that I was angry because it wasn't fair- he could cheat on me, but I couldn't cheat on him- rather than the act itself forced me to calm down immediately. Instead of slapping him, like I was going to, I gave him a hug.

"To be honest, dear, I thought you knew," he said. I released him from the hug and laughed.

"I wouldn't have noticed if you'd banged her in front of me."

He laughed too.

"Just when you think that there's no hope for this marriage, we have one of these moments," he said.

"At least we didn't end on bad terms."

"Like last time? Or the time before that?"

"Or the time before that," I added. We both laughed at that.

For the first time in, well, I can't remember, my husband and I sat and had a conversation. We sat in the living room next to each other on the sofa.

"What was her name?" I asked.

"Lauren. Or Laura. I can't remember."

"Liar! I know you remember!"

"It was Gemma."

"Really? The Gemma from work Gemma?"

"Yeah. I didn't know you know her."

"She started coming to my department one day. Now I realize she acted so smug because she was sleeping with my sexy husband."

"Ooh. I'm sexy." I lightly punched him in the arm. It was just like our early years. We were both being honest and saying exactly what we were thinking. Speaking of...

"Was she better than me?" I asked.

"At what?"

"Sex? Oral? Whatever you two did."

"I am going to need a strong drink if we're going to have this conversation. You too."

I watched him get up and walk towards the secret mini bar in the rotating wall. Yeah, I know, but you'd be surprised how handy it's come in. He poured us both doubles. I got up and took one off him. Then I downed it.

"Another!" I commanded, laughing.

"Hang on." he downed his and I cheered. He poured more, but we nursed those, saving them for the hardest parts of the conversation.

"So?" I asked once we had sat down again.

"So what?"

"Was she better than me?"

He took a large sip of his double.

"Don't hate me, but-" He started. I cut him off with a wail and hit him. He laughed, almost spilling his whisky.

"She did more stuff. But it was like: jack of all, master of none, you know?"

I laughed. "What was I best at?"

"Wait! It's my turn to ask you a question!"

He thought for a moment. Then his eyes became focused and looked directly into mine.

"Uh-oh. Someone sobered quickly. More double for you?" I said, slightly slurred because I still couldn't hold my drink

"I've got to ask a serious question. Did you sleep with Him?"

"Oh. Are we back to 'Him' now?"

"Come on, Susannah. This is serious!"

"When?"

"Ever."

"Yes." Admitting that had been a sobering moment for me. I had avoided the question for years, but now, nothing mattered

xXx

.He looked at me, surprisingly in genuine upset.

"I think we need more alcohol," I said getting up. It was a weak attempt at easing the tension and I really needed a drink. He grabbed me by the wrist before I could walk over to get it.

"Sit down, Susannah."

I didn't argue like I would've done in my youth.

"I'll admit it. I suspected you were having an affair..."

He just ignored me. His stoic-face thing was back on. Whatever jokey atmosphere we had had deserted us.

"When did you sleep with him?"

"It's actually my turn to ask a question."

"I'm not playing anymore. Exactly when?"

"You slept with Gemma..." I got defensive again.

"We both know that was entirely different."

"Can I at least top-up my drink?"

"No. I need you at least partially sober for this."

"But-"

"Why are you so reluctant to tell me? Now, when nothing matters?"

I sighed.

"You cheated on me with him." It was a statement. Not a question.

"No! Of course not!"

"Then when?!" He yelled at me.

"Well..." I trailed off. I couldn't tell him this. This would mean that we would end on bad terms. Deep down neither of us wanted that.

"If nothing matters, why does this matter to you so much? I mean, you've ruined a perfectly casual atmosphere with your emotions..."

"You don't know how it's felt for me, do you? For 25 years, I wondered. For that long, I have wanted to know if you stayed true. It was the fact I didn't know that drove me to the affair."

"Look, it's not like that."

"What is it like?" I couldn't answer him, so I just told him what he wanted to hear.

"A week after my seventeenth birthday."

"Your seventeenth?!" I carried on as if he hadn't spoken.

"That was the first time." I might as well get it all out into the open.

"You lost your virginity to him!"

"I GAVE my virginity to him. I thought you knew."

"You made us wait until marriage! How was I to know?!"

"You always used to know me. You could read me like a book. It's not me who didn't tell you! You didn't want to tell yourself!"

I got up to get my double and this time, he didn't stop me. He would usually warn me about the effects of alcohol on an empty stomach. He didn't.

"I'm sorry I ruined the moment, but I had to know. Would you pour me a triple? I still have to answer you question." He smiled at me. But rather than being stubborn, I smiled back.

"If you need that much alcohol to tell me then I must have been an awful lover!"

"Just being prepared." At this I was suspicious.

"Whatever. Now what did I do best?"

"Well..."

xXx

A/N: Are you any closer? Review with your answers anc I might update or even fess up.

Love ya,

Iheartbooks