Disclaimer: Nope, not J.K. Rowling, damn wish, but no.

A/N: So what are you all thinking? Liking it, hating it? Want me to burn for putting them through this?

Chapter 36

May 1979

My eyes opened wide in fear as I stared at the team that was walking across my pitch. They were all huge, all nine of them, which included the two alternates. I figured out who the beaters were by the fact that they were the largest of them all. The keeper looked like he could sit in one of the hoops, and filling the whole thing, nothing could get passed him. The seeker was the smallest one on the team, but even he looked like he could lift Fletch with his pinky, and that was saying something. They all wore the robes of the same gray and white, a bird's head was embellished on the front with the words "Falmouth Falcons."

On my way to the locker room, Remus walked around the pitch and stopped me from going inside. He indicated for me to follow him around the back of the locker room, and with a confused expression on my face I followed. As soon as we were in a place where no one else was able to see us, he threw me against the wall and snogged me senseless. My eyes were rolling towards the back of my head, and a moan was so very close to escaping me when he pulled away. I gave him the best look I could to ask him what that was for. He smiled smugly at me then said, "just in case I don't get another chance. See you after the game?" He said before kissing my cheek. I growled at this, but he laughed and walked away.

"Ready for this Potter?" Fletch asked as we waited behind the gate for the game to start, I gulped but nodded in the positive. He laughed, not believing me as much as I would have liked for him to. There had been only a few moments over the past few months that I had been reminded of how short a time it had been since I was just a student at Hogwarts. We had only had one player in all four of the Houses that looked like the Falcons, and he had been too dumb to have been accepted onto a professional team. There wasn't a whole lot of time to fret about being too young to die though, as the gates opened and we mounted our brooms soaring to meet our visitors.

As soon as the snitch was released, my nervous fear turned into an "I'm going to die" fear. The large falcon chasers rushed for the quaffle, but I foolishly tried to get to it first. Two of them left the quaffle to the other one as they pulled up beside me, and squeezed their brooms together. Their shoulders pressed into me, and I felt like I was going to pop like an ugly zit they had found on the face of the sky we played in. Fletch saw that they had caught me, the other one flying fast enough to stay away from my partners, and aimed a quaffle in their direction. Our other beater was busy sending the second bludger towards the Falcon chaser with the quaffle. When Fletch's bludger nearly knocked one of my attackers off his broom, they let me go. I soared through the air, using the agility my smaller size provided me; to zigzag across the pitch fast enough to help catch the quaffle when our beater's bludger knocked it out of the Falcon chaser's hands.

We continued in this style for hours. Two of the Falcon chasers attacking the Tornado chaser closest to the quaffle, while the third hurried to catch it as it fell. Fletch would help out the victim by sending a bludger at the attackers, while his partner sent the other bludger at the chaser with the quaffle. The two Tornado chasers that were not being attacked tried to catch the quaffle before they became the one under attack. The Falcon keeper actually could float in front of one of the hoops and effectively block it without doing anything else, and he was good at figuring out which hoop the Tornado chaser was going to aim for. It took us a while to figure out how to trick him. Something we had to do in order to score, because he could bloke the hoops, but he couldn't move to the different hoops faster than we could throw the ball. Our keeper had been knocked unconscious the first time the Falcons scored. The Falcon that had scored had tossed the quaffle at his head, and had so much force that it made him fly backwards through the hoop. The refs had to stop his decent before something really bad happened to him.

We were a hundred and twenty points behind the Falcons by the time the snitch was visible again. This was okay since we had a very agile seeker, and just like the rest of the team, theirs wasn't. When the rest of the Falcons realized that their seeker was not going to succeed in catching the snitch they sent out a war chant, "let us win, but if we cannot win, let us break a few heads." My teammates and I shared worried looks at this, and the Falcons charged after us. The Falcon beaters charged after the bludgers, while the chasers started for my partners and me. The keeper sat on his broom, watching what his favorite part of a match obviously was. Fletch and his partner started after the bludgers as well, trying to guard them from the Falcon beaters. Miraculously we all managed to keep our skulls intact while our seeker grabbed the snitch as quickly as he could.

We all landed with a cry of victory, avoiding looking at the Falcons that looked even more murderous then they had in the air. While the fans cheered and packed up to go back to their homes, our friends and families came down to congratulate us. I looked around hoping and praying that my pups would come with Lily, but I knew even before I saw Lily's apologetic smile that they wouldn't be coming. I sighed, but enough was enough. I told the coach that there was something I needed to do, and with his blessing Lily and I apparated away. While Lily just went back to her place though, I went straight home.

"What the fuck is wrong with you two?" I shouted as I banged the door open. I heard a squek that I knew came from Sirius, and I almost laughed. If my frustration hadn't turned to anger when I saw them leaving the pitch, I would have laughed. "Why don't you two ever stick around? I get that I have to show the press I'm a family man in the making, but can't my best friends," I spat the word as though the basic label left a nasty taste in my mouth. "Can't my best friends stick around as well? Fletch's best friend shows up to more than just our home games, and he always has a comment our two for the press."

"Yes, but does Fletch's best friend need to get home so that he can make Fletch dinner?" Remus asked holding up a can of tomato sauce to show that what he had just asked was an indication of what he was doing.

"Don't fucking start with me Lupin," I growled, looking at the can as though it was the one that was causing the problems. Remus put the can on the cabinet and looked at me in outrage, as though I didn't have a right to be mad. "Fletch's wife, all of the teams spouses, cook their dinner." I snarled, Sirius raised his brow at this statement. "After," I snapped the word, "they take pictures and answer questions for the press, Black."

"Oh, I'm sorry we didn't stick around to watch you make pretend googoo eyes at your fiance." Sirius said, not sounding the least bit sorry. It was true that the crime he had just charged me with was actually something I was required to do for the press, so my anger curled back a bit. I wouldn't have wanted to stick around watching them show looks of love on someone that wasn't me and the other pup if the situation had been switched. Even if when I looked at their eyes when they were in the midst of their charade I could tell that it was fake.

"Okay, I can see why you don't want to be there." I apologized for my behavior, but that didn't mean I was done. "I just feel like you two are pushing me away, that the closer we get to September that the more you only want to have sex with me. I feel like your fuck buddy, not your husband, and it's breaking my heart. I hate that I have more of a relationship with Lily then I do with my mates." I nearly whispered as I sat down on the chair beside me.

"You don't want to have sex?" Sirius asked. I couldn't tell if he was confused or concerned. I smiled, figuring it was the latter.

"No, I love making love to you," I emphasized the words that held the most meaning. "I just want to be let back into your lives, I feel like you're slipping away, and I can't get you back. I can't get you back unless you pull me back in. I love you two so much, you're my life, but we're slipping through each others grasps."

"Oh God," Sirius said after a we sat in silence for a moment. I had looked down at my shoes, my hands hanging over my knees as I processed what was happening. It felt like it was possible for there to be two ways we could go after this, and I refused to walk down one of those paths. "James, if you're feeling like this, why don't you teach us how to fix it?" The tone of his voice when he asked this had both Remus and I's heads snapping to look at him. It was almost as though he was mocking the promises we had made each other, that I would teach them about love. "I'm sorry," he muttered just as quietly as I had been talking for the past few minutes as he realized what he had done.

"That wasn't funny," Remus said shaking his head, "that wasn't funny. Our vows, you made a mockery of our vows." His voice was quiet too, but now with the hurt that he had felt in the one snide comment. "If you don't think they mean anything more than some joke, maybe Prongs is right, this should end."

"I never said that." I shouted jumping out of my chair. "I said we're slipping, but I never said we should." Remus and Sirius turned back to look at me now, tears were resting in their eyes, which they both would fight. I knew that I also had them in my own, but they wouldn't spill. This wasn't sadness that was supposed to be in control, it was anger, and frustration.

"Maybe it would be easier," Remus said softly. "We can stop pretending, stop acting like this isn't going to end. Just let it be finished. We had a good run, but we've always known it can't last. Maybe we were foolish to think that we could continue after the day we got caught." His voice was breaking, but with the amount of control he had, only Sirius and I could tell. He knew we could see through his calm facade, and so looked down, before turning his head towards the wall at his left. That was when the sob he couldn't fight broke loose.

"Look at me," I ordered. With a second sob, he slowly turned back so that my hazel eyes could lock with his chocolate ones. "Do you believe a damn word you just said?" I asked by now standing in a circle with him and Sirius. My hand reached out to tug on Sirius' belt loop so that I could drag him to me, and my other one slid down the side of Remus' cheek. He turned into my hand, and kissing my palm he shook his head in the negative. "I love you, and even when the world thinks I'm married to her, I will not give you up." I let go of Sirius' belt loop, and wrapped that arm around his waist. "Either of you, I won't give you up. I don't know how were going to do this, but I won't." I actually added a little bit of a foot stomp into my tamper, and earned a smile from their saddened faces. "And I think it's time for the next lesson about love.

"We are married, mated, bonded, however you want to say it we're connected. That doesn't mean that we are three lives living in the same space, sharing things but going about our business as though it doesn't concern the others. We have a life together, we don't have lives together. We have one life flowing through the three of us, connecting us with a bond that we cannot allow to weaken. Yet we are, we are acting like we are just three people orbiting the same space that like to fuck each other." They laughed at this. "I want to share everything with you, from your paintings, to your writings, to everything but your toothbrush. I don't want to just be in you, or have you in me, or suck you, or stroke you. I want to worship you, because you are the greatest things in my life, and I adore you.

"Remus why do you even have that thing?" I asked breaking loose from them, and motioning towards his easel. I was not asking about the easel, that was obvious and I would be made if he ever got rid of it. I was not asking about the canvas that sat on the easel, because I knew that was his latest project. I meant the sheet that covered the canvas so that Sirius and I could not see what the latest project was. "I loved being allowed to see what you were working on. I love going to your shows and seeing your finished project, but I loved even more watching you work through the steps of creating your latest piece. I loved being one of the few you trusted to see each stage, from a few lines to a drawing to a few colors to a masterpiece."

"And you," I turned to Sirius, "when was the last time you told us a story? I loved laying in bed having your voice wash over me, and I know Remus did as well. My God Sirius, sometimes, sometimes you could get so into it that you wouldn't even realize what was happening to me, and I would come, having listened only to your voice. I miss that, that was you sharing your greatest joys with me. I know all I can do is have you guys watch my games, but even that is sharing my life. The things I enjoy I want to show you guys, the things that hurt me I want to show you guys. That's love, sharing everything with the one you want to spend forever with."

Sirius and Remus listened to my speech, even when I wasn't positive I was making sense. I stopped, and stared at their neutral expression, praying that I had saved this. I hadn't acted like a superman for them in a long time, but as my words penetrated them that old look came back. I still wasn't sure how I was going to do it, but if it would earn me that look I loved so much, I would figure out how the three of us would spend forever together. Remus was the first one too me, and he drew me into a kiss that rivaled that of this morning, but this time he did let me latch onto him and moan into his mouth, and he returned the favor. He handed me to Sirius, who left me when I started to need breathe, supposedly. I was too busy thinking about soft lips and forceful tongues to care about something as trivial as breathing. Sirius let me go, and Remus, who had been watching us, turned to walk to his easel. He smiled broadly at us, and we smiled back, as he gripped the sheet and tugged it off of his canvas. He tossed it, not onto the floor, but into the garbage bin that he kept in his station.

"Sirius," Remus said as he took up his brush and palette, "tell me a story." I don't know whose face broke into a wider grin, mine? Sirius? Remus? It didn't really matter, I'd fought for them, and I'd won. I threw myself onto the couch, thinking that Sirius would sit down as well. Remus turned so that he could start working on his painting, and Sirius started to tell us a fairytale about a messy-haired knight that fought a dragon so that he could save his princes that were trapped in a tower. He stood, and walked around, while he told his story. Sometimes he would just lean against the counter that divided our kitchen from our living room, Remus would paint soft strokes as he listened to these parts of the story. Other times he would be a bit more lively, like the time he hoped onto our dining room table, and pretended to act out the scene where he had to fight the dragon. Remus' movements mimicked those of Sirius, as though his brush was the sword and the canvas the dragon, though I knew these movements would only add to the beauty of whatever he was making. This was how I wished we could spend forever, happy and laughing. I guess Sirius put it best when he concluded his story, I was wishing for our "happily ever after."

A/N: Too bad that wasn't the end right? That kind of would be the perfect line for the end of a story, except for the whole thing about a wedding in September, and this only being May. What are you guys thinking? I'm posting this, but I'm going to be a bit busy for the next few days. If you want more, I want reviews.