"Murrue-san?"

The woman sitting on the bench turned to the speaker, and smiled a little. "Oh, Kira-kun. Hello.." With that greeting, she turned back to watch the sun set over the sea again. Kira studied his former captain for a few moments. She seemed...thinner, and paler than he remembered. Her dark eyes were dimmed, and although the sunset was beautiful tonight, she didn't appear that interested.

"How are you?" he asked, wanting to get her attention. "We haven't seen you in a while..." It was almost a fortnight since they had arrived here in Orb from space - three weeks since Jachin Due. Neither Kira nor any of his friends had seen Murrue-san in that time, and had often wondered how she was doing...if she was all right.

"I'm fine," she replied softly, smiling again. "I have a nice house, and a job at Morgenroete...I'm just fine.." But her smile was small and seemed forced, and Kira sighed, sitting down beside her. "No, Murrue-san. I mean how are you?" The strong woman he'd known...she looked so small and alone now, and he was pretty sure of the reason why.

She turned to him in surprise, amber eyes wide, then sighed, understanding what the boy meant. Kira smiled. "If you don't want to talk about it, I understand. It's private." Murrue-san shook her head. "No, it's all right." She smiled a little again. "I'm...coping. Just getting used to things again - to living alone."

Kira nodded. "I know. The two of you were together all the time, weren't you? It must be hard getting used to things ...being different.." Murrue-san closed her eyes, an expression of immense pain crossing her face. "Like you wouldn't believe. The hardest thing to deal with...is the guilt. He..he gave up his life for me, and I could only sit there and watch. I couldn't do anything to help him...to save him. I keep thinking 'what could I have done to change things?' and I always get the same answer. Nothing." A tear trickled down her cheek, and she impatiently brushed it away. Kira could understand. He hadn't been able to save Fllay, after all, and he had also gone over the memory countless times, trying to come up with a way he could have saved her. But he couldn't.

"He wouldn't blame you, Murrue-san..." he said softly, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You know that. Mwu-san knew what he was doing..he wanted to save you.."

She laughed, the sound cold and bitter. "You know...I never spent as much time with him as I should have. I pushed him away so much when I had work to do..I was always busy. I never realised how much more important he was than my work...never really appreciated everything he did for me. I didn't...thank him enough." Tears trailed unheeded down her face as she looked at Kira. "I wonder..if he really knew how much he meant to me?"

"He did." replied Kira without hesitation. "We all saw the way he looked at you. Mwu-san knew how you felt - because he felt the same way."

Murrue-san hiccupped, still crying. "It hurts so much.." she said softly. Kira knew that she hadn't had chance to let all this out...she'd been living with all this pain and grief bottled up inside, and now she was letting it out. "Every morning.." she continued, "I wake up and reach out for him..thinking he'll be there beside me. But there's nothing. I dream that he's waiting for me to find him, but when I wake up...it really is only a dream." She laughed again. "Why didn't I learn my lesson? Why did I..." her voice trailed off as the tears flowed.

Kira could only watch in helpless sympathy. He'd never seen Murrue-san like this before...the strong and warm-hearted captain he knew replaced by a desperately unhappy and lonely young woman. "You really loved Mwu-san, didn't you?" he asked, knowing the answer was obvious.

Murrue-san looked up into the twilight sky, the tears drying on her cheeks. "God, yes, I loved him. And I don't know why. I should have known better..."

"But why, if you were happy?" the boy wanted to know. His friend smiled. "I was happy. Very happy. But I knew that this could happen - that I could easily lose him, or be killed myself. Love in wartime...it's never a good idea. But I let myself believe that this time...it could be different. I couldn't help the way I felt, so I just let it happen. And you know...this time, it was different."

"How so?"

She leaned back against the bench. "It hurts even more. Like...he took my heart, or at least a part of it, with him when he left." She smiled despite her sadness. "Maybe it's a good thing I have a new identity now. Maria...she can live out her life here in peace. Murrue is still up there...at Jachin Due. She'll always be there."

"But you wouldn't have changed anything, would you?" asked Kira with a smile. "You and Mwu-san were happy together, and even though you're mad at yourself for letting yourself care so much, you'd do it all again, wouldn't you?"

"Yes." she replied simply. "Because I loved him, and I always will. I could never forget him." She smiled again at Kira, looking a little more like the woman he knew. "Thank you, Kira-kun, for listening. Sorry for unloading all that onto you..."

"No need to apologise, Murrue-san," Kira said. "I'm your friend..and friends are there to listen." And he was happy that Murrue-san trusted him enough to be able to talk to him about these things. Her relationship with Mwu-san...no-one had really known anything about it save for rumours. But now he knew how much they had cared for each other.

"What will you do now?" he wanted to know. The woman smiled. "Live Maria's life, I guess. Have the peace he fought so hard for. And maybe one day, Murrue can be with him again..."

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( Angst...sorry. But I just thought that Murrue-san might be able to talk to Kira-chan about how she felt..when she might not be able to tell anyone else.

Please read and review! )