A/N - I would say this is mildly AU-ish. Set season three on the day Andrea visits the prison. And don't forget that Andrea was one of those that left Merle to die on that rooftop in Atlanta.
"The fuck you doin' here Blondie?" Merle growled the words as he looked at the woman standing in front of him. He was looking at their working vehicles trying to figure out which ones had the most longevity.
Hoping against hope that he'd be able to leave this shithole with Daryl. The rest of the group was optional.
Except he had a feeling the woman in front of him was going to fuck that up more than officer friendly. As if this pissant group stood a chance against the crazy that was The Governor. He was worse than Merle had figured Walsh to be and from what he'd heard, that was saying something.
But, if he got to leave, he'd love to take her with him, because he'd love to take her period. He wouldn't even mind taking the bastards leavings. She'd still be sweet he reckoned.
"We need to talk." She said to him. Trying as always to make herself fucking indispensable. Merle snorted at his thought. She wasn't no such thing.
"Yeah? You know I'd rather fuck your wet hole now don't you?" He ignored Daryl's curse. "Fuck off Darylena, me and Blondie here got to talk." He threw over his shoulder without even looking at Daryl.
"It's okay Daryl, we'll be fine." Andrea soothed Daryl and he left which both irritated and surprised the fuck out of Merle. He frowned as he stared after Daryl for several seconds.
Then, without looking at Andrea he went back to work on the vehicles. "I need your help."
That stopped him in his tracks. "To do what?" He turned and looked at Andrea, in her eyes and nowhere else as he asked the question.
He watched as Andrea frowned, hesitated and looked away. He could tell she was running through what to say to him in her head. "Spit it out Blondie, to quote my fuckin' brother I ain't got all day."
Merle's eyebrows rose when Andrea spat out a rusty sounding chuckle. "Yeah, Daryl used to say that a lot, I remember."
"Yeah, after you left me for fuckin' dead, then took off from the quarry you had my brother for months. I know." Bitterness coated his words and he turned away just as Andrea turned back to look at him.
Out of the corner of his eye Merle saw her roll her shoulders before standing up straighter and squaring them, which made her tits stand out even more.
Ignoring her and the jerk in his cock, Merle moved to another vehicle.
The touch then it came, froze him in his tracks.
It was nothing like the woman. It was soft, tentative, light and surprisingly needy. Shaking his head again at his fancy where this woman was concerned, Merle ignored it along with the light tremor that he felt through his shirt.
Woman was nervous about something. Before his mind could puzzle on it however, Andrea knocked his feet out from under him with two words.
"I'm sorry." The tremor became a shudder and Merle let the hood bang shut on the vehicle as he leaned his balled fist and prosthetic on it, head lowered.
Gritting his teeth he tried to keep his animal at bay. When her two words had sent him right back to that fucking rooftop in Atlanta, the heat and humidity, the skin-crawling dread in the pit of his stomach as he'd listened to the greedy moans of the dead.
His own sweat and blood and fuck it yes, even his own tears. It all flooded back into his mind and suddenly he didn't feel Andrea's neatly trimmed nails scratch lightly at his shoulder-blade but the grasping stench of a still-moving, rotting corpse.
Rounding on Andrea, Merle's left hand pushed straight on her chest. He watched, seeing but not seeing Andrea fall back and he followed her until he had her backed up against the cold cement wall of the prison.
Prosthetic unhitched and blade tilting her chin back as his left hand splayed on her chest.
Her breasts.
And it was the feel of those pillow-soft pieces of flesh that brought him back to the present day.
Andrea, it was Andrea, Blondie. Lawyer, self-righteous left-wing equal-opportunity professional bullshit artist. Andrea.
Shaking his head Merle stepped back, literally into the present. He let go of her with his left hand and used it to push his blade back onto his prosthetic.
"No, whatever it is, no. Ain't goin' back." He said to her as he walked off, back to his own cell.
He's taken off his clothes and is scrubbing himself down as best he can when he sees movement out of the corner of his eye.
Her eyes fly up to meet his and Merle sees the horror, the fucking pity in them. Rolling his own, he ignores her as he finishes. Turning away from her, he gives her a fine view of his ass as he leans over to grab his pants again.
A tanned and still somehow soft hand beats his gnarled one to them. Lifts his trousers and moves them away.
Cocking an eyebrow at Andrea, Merle watches her move into the cell and pull the curtain across.
"What will it take for you to help?" She questioned him as she sat down on his bunk.
"Bargaining with your pussy Blondie?" Merle asked her sarcastically.
"Carol told me earlier to have sex with Phillip and then murder him in his sleep. She thinks I can do that, why is it such a stretch for you to think I'd fuck you to get your help?" Merle can tell she's being sarcastic.
Sick, he was sick because that turned him on. But, she was the sick fuck's leavings. Letting a grin loose Merle stepped forward, putting his body in her personal space, crowding her in.
Knees nudging hers, he spreads Andrea's legs and slides in between them. His hardening cock is level with her chin. His grin widens as he sees her eyes flick down to it and stay there. When she unconsciously licks her lips she very nearly swipes Merle's cock in the process.
"Oh Blondie, you don't know what you're offerin'." He very nearly snarled at her as she looked up at him through her lashes. "Oh, you do know what you're offerin'?" Merle questioned her and then answered himself in the next breath.
"Course you do." He put his hands on his hips and tilted his still hardening cock at Andrea's face. "Well, fuckin' have at it then." He wondered how far she'd go. He had a hankering for something specific but didn't know if it was something she was into.
Brought back to the present by the touch of Andrea's lips on his cock Merle closed his eyes to everything but the feel of his cock enveloped in the wet heat of a woman's mouth.
Not just any woman, but a fucking highbrow educated woman. If he could think beyond the pleasure he was sure he'd laugh at the notion of having his cock sucked by a college educated and then some stacked blonde with attitude. Impractical attitude.
Thrusting into Andrea's mouth Merle's left hand grabs her hair, pulls on it making her gasp. Laughing at her he ignores her wince of pain and pushes his cock inside her, deeper making her feel it.
Punishing her he knew. For leaving him on the rooftop, for thinking he was stupid enough to fall for her wiles, she'd fuck him and get his help getting out of the mess she'd fucked her way into.
What the fuck ever. He could play.
Pulling her off his cock suddenly his right arm reached for her and wound around her waist, yanking her up against his chest. Leaning down to kiss her though Merle is jerked out of his arousal when Andrea jerks her head to the side so his mouth lands on her cheek.
"Sorry huh?" He ghosts a laugh over her face, lets her feel his breath on her skin even as his mind rails. Fucking cunt. Fuck but not kiss. She'd fucking kissed that crazy fuck though. He'd seen them.
But he still wasn't good enough to swap spit with. Come yes. Spit no. And people thought he was sick and retarded?
Swearing silently at himself, knowing he was flat-out lying to himself Merle steps back. "No, I'm sorry." Andrea's words drop like boulders on his shoulders.
That was the thing. She was sorry. She was also an egotistical bitch. "Let me ask you somethin' Blondie, you think Daryl is smart?" Merle lets her go while he waits for her answer.
Watches Andrea frown at him. Then she answers. "Yes, I do think he's smart, very smart."
"Then why do you think I'm so fuckin' stupid? We are brother's you know." Merle laughs humourlessly as he watches the flush crawl up Andrea's neck and face. "Oh now, that's sure a pretty sight darlin' your pretty titties all flushed as well?" He asked, deliberately slipping back into the persona she thinks him to be.
It was so easy, almost too easy. And better this way, too much risk to be himself. With anyone. Only the old man had so far seemed to see him for who he truly was. Even Daryl didn't see him, saw what he wanted, what Merle wanted him to see. It was better this way.
Stepping forward again, mask firmly in place, Merle's left hand pushed Andrea down on the bunk and he followed her, left hand pulling at her belt as he did so. "Okay Blondie, got yourself a deal, a fuck for help." The lie tastes like acid in his mouth, but it was only what she deserved.
Letting himself go, Merle watched as Andrea toed off her boots and then pushed her cargos and lace panties, honest to fucking God lace panties down her legs, kind of skinny legs now that he looked. But hell, she made up for it with her tits.
And that was what he wanted. Jerking his chin at her top, Merle spoke. "Everything, I want at 'em."
He looked at Andrea as she snorted. "Most men do."
Raising both eyebrows this time Merle questioned her. "Most men what?"
"Most men want to touch my breasts." Andrea explained. She sounded a little put out, like that was the only thing men saw in her.
Shaking his head at her stupidity Merle answered her. "You ain't gettin' my mouth Blondie, you don't want it above the neck, you don't get it below."
Grinning at Andrea's almost hurt look which was really so fucking typical he climbed on the bunk, straddled her and his left hand grabbed her right, placed it on the side of her breast. "Hold it there." He ordered her.
Then, he took her left hand and pushed it against her other breast. "Push 'em together Blondie, gonna fuck 'em till I come."
Andrea's eyes widen at his words. Merle's body dwarfing hers as he got himself settled. Making a truly gross sound Merle hawked a globule of spit into his left hand and ran it over his cock, mixing it with his pre-come that had began to leak.
Watching Andrea all the while, he then fit his cock into the small crevice between her breasts and letting his balls rest on her sternum he fucked his hips forward slowly.
"Fuck, wish I had some lube." He muttered. He was going to need to keep himself lubed with spit or the friction would fucking take skin off.
"Yeah, that's it, push those babies into my cock. Harder!" Merle snapped at Andrea, punctuating his order with a slap on her thigh.
Having left his prosthetic on, he used it on the wall of the cell, braced himself so he could fuck Andrea's fine tits with abandon. Just the way he'd wanted to from the first moment he'd seen them bouncing toward him at the quarry so long ago.
Hearing Andrea's breathing hitch Merle opened his eyes and looked down at her, she was all flushed skin and messy hair and dilated pupils. "This turn you on Blondie?" He asked abruptly. Andrea's flush deepened which told him the answer was yes.
"Well, quite the little slut aren't we? Bet you used to drive all the men at your fuckin' office crazy didn't you? Offer them a little view maybe, flash some of what I'm fuckin', get what you want and step back into your fuckin' ivory tower. Yeah, I bet that's just what you did."
"No, I didn't…" Merle cuts her protest off.
"Don't fuckin' care, that life is fuckin' gone anyway." He closed his eyes to her, then opened them and spat on himself again as his cock drew back.
A mirthless laugh leaves him as he realises Andrea might not have wanted to swap spit, but she was sure getting a chest full of his anyway.
Suddenly he flinches in shock as the head of his cock is taken back into Andrea's mouth. When he pulls back her warmth leaves and when he pushes she takes him in again.
Opening his eyes and looking down at her he continues to fuck her tits and now her mouth. "You're a fuckin' cockslut aren't you?" He questioned her as his left hand moves to her hair again and pulls her neck up awkwardly so she can take more of him when he moves forward.
"Have at me then, make me come Blondie." He orders her again and closes his eyes to her, the better to focus on his own pleasure.
Fuck but that felt good. It had been too long since he'd had the pleasure of a woman's mouth. The couple of hook-up's he had in Woodbury hadn't even come close, they'd alleviated an itch, nothing more, nothing less.
Shuddering, Merle felt his balls tingle and draw up, Blondie was going to make him come and come hard.
"Yeah, that's it Blondie, suck me down, you'd better fuckin' swallow me when I come or all bets are off." He ordered Andrea again. He'd be surprised if she did swallow. Wasn't something most women did in his own personal experience unless he paid them to.
Most of them seemed to think redneck equaled not worth swallowing. But they expected he'd go down on them without any issue though. Shaking his head Merle emptied his mind as he felt his orgasm roll through him.
Balls emptying into Andrea's mouth, he watched as his come dripped out of her mouth. He'd been right, she didn't swallow. Fucking bitch.
Sitting on her chest Merle grinned as he constricted her breathing. "Fuckin' serve you right if I did smother you with my ass." He said on a laugh as he kneeled up and then put his foot down on the floor and stood.
Moving to his trousers he grabbed them up and with a deft maneuver he stepped into them and zipped and buttoned them up. Once his belt had been buckled, he turned to Andrea, still sprawled on his bunk, naked as the day she was born.
"You gonna take a nap Blondie?" He asked her as he picked up her clothes and tossed them in her general direction.
"You fuck." Andrea spits the words at him as she sits up and begins to get dressed.
Laughing again Merle shook his head. "Don't fuck with a fucker Blondie, you'll lose every time." He laughed again as Andrea stood up.
"It wasn't personal." Her words stop him.
"What's not personal?" He asked having no clue what she was talking about.
"Not kissing you."
Merle froze and looked at her. She was going there? Fine, he'd fucking go there. "Wrong Blondie, I take it real personal when a woman says she'll fuck me but not kiss me. You think you're some hot shit because he fucked you? Took you to his bed? Are you seriously fuckin' stupid enough to think you were his only woman? Fuck no, he had Karen warming his bed, not to mention others as well, and I'll tell you something else Blondie."
Advancing on Andrea, Merle was incensed at her fucking naïve stupidity. "Every time he fucked you, he was thinking of your Nubian companion. Every. Single. Time." Swinging out his left hand, Merle flicked his thumb and middle finger against Andrea's forehead demeaningly.
"Not so fuckin' smart after all are you Blondie?" He laughed again as he pulled back the curtain and left the cell.
##########
Watching Andrea drive off later, Merle shakes his head and walks back to his cell. He pauses on the threshold seeing Carol stripping his bed.
Leaning his shoulder on the jam he watched silently.
"She always was a snotty bitch." She said musingly as she threw the sheets at Merle and then began to remake the bunk bed. "Full of airs and graces, above her own station, never mind anyone else."
"True enough." Merle answered her companionably.
"Self-important." Carol continued and Merle agreed again.
"You with us?" Carol questioned him as she finished making the bed and moved to him, taking the soiled linens from him.
"I'm with you and Daryl." Merle surprised himself by answering. And he was.
"Good enough, there's a war coming." Carol said as she watched him calmly.
"Yeah." Watching her walk away, Merle entered his cell and lay down. Wiggling until he was comfortable he inhaled, scented Carol and smiled.
When he dreamed that night, he dreamed of grey hair and sky blue eyes, with long lithe limbs that wound around him tightly.