A/N: Collee takes up a lot of time. It also took me awhile to update this because I wanted this to be perfect. I wanted it to be the right amount of drama and I wanted to get Beth's reason to be understood. So this story is mostly Jordan-centric but the next chapter will be all about Alex. =)

Disclaimer: I have no idea what's going on in the world of Degrassi. So of course I don't own it

My Favorite Reviews from Last chapter:

Degrassi1son: Yes, Tammy is AMAZING at sex. lol

Amydraw99: as soon as I read "Holy shit" I busted out laughing. lol

Like I've said before, I don't like to bring God into things because I never go to church so I feel like I'm not allowed to but come on! I'm definitely thinking God is punishing me now. I mean of all the stores Tammy would want to go to and of all the stores Beth could be working at it just happens to be Forever 21. If God isn't punishing me then some kind of higher power is. I bet they're all laughing up there right now.

I'm pretty sure my heart still isn't beating. I just can't believe that Beth is standing right in front of me right now. She looks so different. Her dark brown hair now has blonde highlights in it and I no longer see that twinkle in her eyes that I use to see all the time. She has a nose piercing and a few new piercing in her ears. Although she looks different she still looks good.

A look of confusion appears on Beth's face. "Jordan?" I guess she doesn't believe I'm here either.

"Umm…Hi," I say lamely.

"Jordy," Tammy sings. "I need help getting these shorts off."

Oh you have got to be kidding me. I cannot believe she just did that.

Beth crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. "Jordy?" she asks.

I run my hand through my hair and nervously laugh. "Umm, yeah."

Beth is shaking her head, either in disappointment or in disgust I don't really know. "Well whatever you and whoever is in there is doing you need to cut it out because I could hear you and so could my boss," Beth says. Now she's walking away, crap.

I sigh. "Wait Beth," I call out. I leave the changing room which means I'm leaving Tammy which means I'll be in trouble later but whatever. I catch up to Beth because she's walking while I'm sort of running. I place my hand on her shoulder to turn her around. "Beth," I call out her name.

Beth turns around with what seems like fire in her eyes. "What are you doing here Jordan?"

"Do you mean here in Forever 21 or here in Miami?"

Beth shakes her head and sighs angrily. "Here in Miami Jordan," says through clenching teeth.

I nod my head. "Well its Spring Break for FSU and some friends and I decided to come to Miami."

"Of course you did," Beth mutters.

I feel a hand slip into mine and I turn to see who it is. Of course, Tammy has the most perfect timing in the world. I hope you could sense the sarcasm in that statement.

"Hello," Tammy says cheerfully but I know that's her being fake polite because she feels threatened. Tammy is holding out her other hand to Beth. "I'm Tammy, Jordan's girlfriend." Tammy smirks.

Something flashes across Beth's eyes. Beth shakes Tammy's hand. "I'm Beth, Jordan's ex," Beth says with a drop of venom in her voice.

I'm silently praying for whoever is up there to strike me down now so I don't have to go through this.

"Really?" Tammy asks. Tammy shrugs her shoulders. "Jordan's never mentioned you."

OH MY GOD! You have to be fucking kidding me right now. I recognize that look on Beth's face and it says she's hurt and pissed, but more pissed than hurt.

"I bet she didn't," Beth says.

"Well it was nice meeting you." Tammy turns her attention back to me. "Come on Jordy," Tammy says while lazily sliding her finger down my body. "We need to go to Victoria's Secret so I can buy some new sexy underwear." Tammy winks at me.

If I hit Tammy right now would it be considered domestic violence?

"Yeah Jordan," Beth says and I turn back to her. "You should probably go."

Now she's walking away. I fucked up, badly. I turn and look at Tammy. She's just looking back at me innocently. Innocent my ass, I know what she was doing and she knows what she was doing.

"What?" she asks and tilts her head.

"I know you know I'm not stupid so don't insult me by acting like I am," I tell her seriously. "What you just did was messed up and not necessary at all."

"Jordy-"Tammy starts.

"No, don't 'Jordy' me," I tell her with a hint of anger in my voice. "I get if you feel threatened by Beth but there was no reason for you to make her feel like she was nothing to me." I take my hand out
of hers and put both of my hands into my pockets. "I'm going back to the beach house. Have fun shopping for whatever you need to shop for."

I'm walking away out of this goddamn store. Once again Alex was right. Maybe I should start listening to her.

Hours Later:
I'm finally back at the house. I didn't realize the mall was so far away from the beach house. The walking did give me time to clear my head and get my thoughts together, sort of. I go upstairs and knock on Alex's door.

"Who is it?" she asks.

"It's me," I answer.

"Come in."

I walk into the room and she's sitting on her bed reading a science textbook. She is really serious about school. WOW.

Alex looks up from her textbook. "I thought you were shopping," she says.

"I was and then…" I pause.

"Then what?"

"I ran into Beth."

Alex starts laughing. What the hell! Oh great, now she's holding her side and still laughing.

"I-told-you," she says in between laughs.

I pick up a novel off the dresser and throw it at hurt.

"Ow!" she yells. The book hit her in the face. I'm wearing a smug smile right now. Yeah, I have pretty good aim. Alex is rubbing the spot where the book hit her.

"Ok I'm sorry," she says. "Tell me what happened."

I sit down on the bed and sigh. "Tammy and I were in the Forever 21 dressing room and things started to get a little heated."

"Really, in the dressing room?" Alex asks with disgust, interrupting my story.

"Shall I remind you when you and Paige were having a heated make-out session on the couch of the employee lounge last year at the theater?"

Alex blushes a bit. "Continue with the story," she says.

"So yeah we were making out and then there was a knock on the door. I cracked open the door and there was Beth, standing there."

"What'd you do?"

"Well once my heart started beating again I said "Hi" like an idiot. Then Tammy asked me if I could help her get out of her shorts. Beth walked away and I followed her. I tried talking to her but it just ended in disaster."

Alex is leaning in; the story is very interesting for her. "How?" she asks.

"Tammy came up and introduced herself. Then when Beth introduced herself as my ex Tammy said I had never mentioned her before."

"That bitch!" Alex exclaims.

"And then Tammy announced we needed to go to Victoria's Secret so she could get some new sexy underwear and then she winked at me."

Alex makes a gagging face. "I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth."

I shake my head at her. "Shut up."

Alex throws up her hands. "I'm just saying. So then what happened?"

I sigh. "Beth walked away looking hurt and pissed off. Then I pretty much told Tammy off and left her in Forever 21."

"You took her car?" Alex asks in unbelief.

I cross my arms and give Alex the "you're a dumbass look" look. "Yeah I took the keys right out of Tammy's hand and drove the car here, leaving her stranded at the mall."

Alex sticks out her fist. "Bad ass," she says, waiting for me to pound her fist.

I swat her fist away. "You can be so stupid sometimes."

Alex raises an eyebrow. "I'm not the one that decided to spend Spring Break in a city where my ex goes to school when I know I have bad luck and would probably run into her."

I'm giving Alex a really mean look right now. I stick out my tongue and leave the room. I can hear Alex laughing through the door. Damn her being right.

I go into the master bedroom and just fall into the bed. Ugh, when did life become so complicated? I hear the bedroom door open.

"Jordan?"

Ugh, I do not feel like dealing with this right now.

"What?" I ask in a tired and aggravated tone.

"Jordan, please don't be mad at me," Tammy says in a sad voice. I can tell she's upset because she's saying my full name and not that goddamn "Jordy" mess.

"Not mad, just annoyed and slightly confused," I tell her. "Why would you do something like that?"

Tammy climbs on the bed and I can feel her straddling me. I take my arm off my eyes and look at her. Her eyes are red which means she's been crying. Now I feel bad.

"I'm sorry," she says. "It's just when you left the changing room so fast to go talk to Beth I got mad and jealous. I know what you had with her and I couldn't help it."

I prop myself up on my elbows. I place my hand behind Tammy's neck and pull her in for a kiss. Tammy's hands are on the back of my head, deepening the kiss. I pull away.

"I'm with you," I tell her.

Tammy is nodding her head like she understands. "I know but-."

"No buts. I'm with you because I want to be with you," I tell her.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

"Shh," I tell her, placing a finger over her lips. "No more talking. Just show me the sexy underwear."

Tammy smiles and we start kissing again. Sometimes it's just better to have sex than to address the issue.

Wednesday:
Tammy and I haven't brought up what happened at Forever 21. After the great make-up sex we had, we decided to forget about it. Alex however keeps giving me this look, the look saying she wants to say something but isn't going to. Alex and I are actually on the beach right now running.

"Ugh I hate running," I tell her.

"Really?" she asks. "I love it." She speeds up her pace.

"Hey, wait up!"

Alex chuckles but slows down her pace. "For an athlete I thought you'd be faster than this."

I take a swing at her but miss. "Shut up."

Alex chuckles again. "So my birthday is next week," she says and grins at me.

I throw my head back and groan. "Yes I know, how many times do you have to tell me? Jeez, I have it marked on my calendar, my cell phone, and Myspace keeps reminding me."

"Well this is me reminding you again," Alex says.

"Well stop it." I turn and Alex is no longer beside me. I turn my head around and she's about 20 feet behind me staring at the ocean. I jog back over to her. "Why'd you stop?"

"Do you think she'll call me?" Alex asks. Alex turns and looks at me. "I mean it'll be my birthday, she can't just not call me."

"You have to stop thinking about her!" I yell, sounding a bit harsh. "This is why you came to Florida with me. This is why you almost went to Ajax, because you didn't want to be near her or think about her. So just stop it."

Alex places her hands on her hips. "I just can't help it!" she exclaims. "I can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop thinking about what she's doing right now or maybe just maybe if she misses me as much as I'm missing her."

I place a hand on Alex's shoulder. "Right now you need to focus on you. Stop thinking about Paige, stop thinking about Canada. Just focus on you and what's going on right now in this moment. Live in the now, right?"

Alex smiles. "That was my motto last year eh?"

"Yeah it was. And tonight you will be living in the now because tonight we're hitting up Azucar."

"What is Azcucar?"

"It's a Latin gay club with a mixed crowd. Tonight is Lady Lovin' Ladies which means hopefully we can find a girl to hook you up with because it's the middle of Spring Break and all you've done is homework and reading."

"Hey, I went to Club Space on Saturday," Alex says, offended by my previous comment.

I'm nodding my head agreeing with her. "Yeah and we left early to go to the beach and talk about your feelings. Now you're going tonight and that's final."

Alex shrugs my arm off her shoulder. "Alright alright, you're right. I'll go out tonight and have a fun time."

"Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!" We fist pump and run back to the house.

Tonight is going to be awesome, I can feel it.

Azucar:
Wow this place is packed. Like seriously I'm surprised we even got in. I have Tammy close to me with my arm around her waist. Alex is scoping out the place, hopefully looking for a hot girl to dance with. Rebecca is here too which is weird, and Bridget went to some other club with some friends. Some hip-hop Spanish music is playing but I have no idea what the song is talking about.

Everyone in the group is wearing the usual club attire, either short shorts or a short skirt with a halter top or tank top. But I'm wearing black Bermuda shorts and a red button down shirt with a black skinny tie. What? I think I look sexy, in my own cool way.

"I'm going to the bar!" Alex yells.

"Ok!" I yell back. "But do not spend all night there!" I give her a warning look and point at her.

"I'm not going to! Jeez!" Alex walks to the bar.

Tammy grabs my tie. "I'm ready to dance," she says seductively.

"Oh, well I was born ready!" I tell her and grin.

We find an empty spot on the dance floor and start dancing. By dancing I mean grinding. Tammy is facing me with one arm around my neck and my hands are on her hips.

"You're so hot tonight," I tell Tammy in her ear.

"You're so bad yourself," she answers back.

Tammy slips her knee in between my legs. Pure torture is what this woman likes to cause me on the dance floor. I lean into her and start kissing her neck. I hear her moan in my ear and I'm smiling to myself now. Two can play this game.

Have you ever had that feeling like someone is watching you? Well I have that feeling right now. I look up from Tammy. My heart is no longer beating. God is definitely punishing me now. Beth and I are looking straight at each other.

"Beth?" I say out loud but Tammy can't hear me because of the music.

She's walking away now. Crap, I gotta catch her. I get Tammy's attention.

"I'll be right back!" I tell her.

"Where are you going?!?"

"Bathroom!" I lie. "Go find some gay guy to dance with. I promise I'll be back in five minutes."

I'm running after Beth now, chasing her. She's weaving in and out of people and it's sort of hard to keep up because there are so many people here. She turns down a small hallway and I follow her. We're both standing in this small hallway, her back to me. There's nowhere for her to leave because I'm blocking the only exit.

"Beth," I start.

Beth turns around. God she looks amazing right now. "What are you doing here Jordan?" she asks. "Are you following me now?"

"What? No, I'm not following you," I tell her slightly offended. As If I have the time to stalk her. "I just want to talk," I tell her, pleading.

"Why talk to me when you're girlfriend is out there waiting for you? I mean by what she said last time we saw each other I didn't mean anything to you."

"Of course you meant something to me! I loved you, and I still do."

Beth laughs cruelly. "You love me?" she asks. "You're out there practically having sex with your clothes on and you have the nerve to tell me you love me?!?"

So many emotions are running through my body right now that I don't even know what to do or say.

"Answer one question for me Jordan since you love me so much. Did you sleep with her?"

I'm looking down at my feet, finding the floor really interesting right now.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Beth says.

I look up at her with fire and sadness in my eyes. "Why are you even pissed? You're the one that broke up with me!"

----

I've been in college now for about four weeks. I went down to Miami to see Beth two weeks ago and I'm missing her like crazy right now. We actually haven't talked in a few days which is really weird. Every time I call her it goes straight to her voicemail. I open up my cell phone and dial her number.I'll always love you as a friend.

"Hello?" she answers the phone.

"Hey you!" I greet her excitedly. "Long time no talk."

Beth sighs. Why did she just sigh.

"Yeah…" she says.

What's going on. "Beth what's wrong?"

"Nothing Jordan, it's just-."

I stand up from my bed quickly. "Just what? Is some douche bag bothering you down there. Seriously Beth I can get my grandfather's car and drive down to Miami right now if I need to."

"No Jordan, you don't need to do that."

"Good. Well then what's wrong?" I ask.

There's silence on the phone line. Silence during a conversation like this is never good.

"I think we should break up," Beth whispers.

I think my heart has just stopped and the world away me is literally crumbling. I don't know what to say. No words will come out my mouth. I sit back down on my bed.

"What?" I whisper in disbelief.

"I think we should break up," she says again but this time more confident.

"Why?" my voice cracks.

"Jordan we go to two different schools seven hours away from each other. I'm meeting new people here in Miami and you're meeting new people and connecting with old friends. I just think it'd be easier for both of us if we didn't date anymore."

Tears are starting to fall down my face right now. My heart is literally breaking. I feel a pain in my chest and I know it's from my heart.

"Jordan, please say something," Beth says.

"Fine," I tell her and close my phone shut, ending the call. I start sobbing uncontrollably. I fall on my bed with my face in my pillow and start crying harder than I ever have before. Something is vibrating. I pull my phone from underneath my pillow. I open my phone and read the text message I've just been sent.

I'll always love you as a friend.

I throw my phone unto the floor and cry harder into my pillow. Why does love hurt like this?

----

I shrug my shoulders and look up at Beth, my eyes on the brick of tears. "Why Beth, just tell me why," I tell her.

Beth is walking toward me. "You wanna know why?" she asks me.

I nod my head.

"I loved you Jordan but I had to break your heart before you could break mine."

Ok, I am totally confused now. "What?"

Beth's eyes are shining and she's shaking her head now. "I saw the pictures on you Myspace Jordan, of you with all those girls. I saw the one of you kissing that girl. It's like I didn't matter to you anymore, like I didn't exist. So I had to break it off. I had to break your heart before you could break mine."

Pictures? What the hell is she talking about? Oh wait… Those pictures. "Beth-," I start.

She's holding up her hand silencing me. "I don't want to hear it Jordan. The past is the past and whatever we had is over."

She's walking past me but I grab her hand. "Please Beth, don't leave," I plead.

"I loved you so much Jordan, but I wasn't going to let you break my heart." She takes her hand away from mine and she's walking away now.

I'm standing here in the tiny hallway by myself. My world is crumbling all around me and I can't pick up the pieces and stick them back together. I'm walking back to the dance floor with my head hanging low. I finally look up so I won't accidentally walk into someone.

Oh my God. I can't believe her. A new emotion is running through my veins. Anger is quickly replacing the sadness I was just feeling. Beth is making out with some random girl right in front of me. I don't know if I'm more pissed that she's doing it or if I'm pissed because I think she's doing it to break me. Well you know what, fuck her. I don't need her.

I go back to the dance floor where I left Tammy. She's dancing with some random guy.

"Hey!" I yell, trying to get her attention.

Tammy turns around and smiles at me. "Hey! There you are."

I smile widely and place my hands on her waist. I plant my lips against hers. I feel Tammy's arms wrap around my neck and we deepen the kiss. I pull her closer to me to the point where there is almost no room between us. I open my eyes and Beth is looking right at me. I continue kissing Tammy but staring at Beth.

I pull away. "We should go back to the house," I tell her.

"Why?"

I lean down to whisper in her ear. "Because what I want to do to you right now would probably get us thrown out of the club."

Tammy raises an eyebrow. "Then let's go."

I'm leading Tammy off the dance floor. I spot Alex at the bar talking to some girl. I approach Alex.

"We're going back to the house," I tell her.

"Ok, I'll be back at the house later," she tells me but her focus is on the girl. "I have my cell."

"Ok, good."

Tammy and I are leaving the club now. I don't think I'll ever be coming back here.

Back at the House:
Walking with a girl's legs wrapped around you is hard but I'm managing. Somehow I made it up the stairs with Tammy wrapped around me and I believe I should get some sort of prize for that talent. We're frantically kissing each other but there is no love from my end. The kisses I'm giving Tammy are full of anger for my ex. I don't care if Beth doesn't want me because Tammy does.

We finally reach our room. I practically throw Tammy on the bed. I quickly take off my shirt and pants.

"Jordan," Tammy says. "I lo-"

I cut Tammy off with my lips. There is no love in these kisses or the sex we're about to have. No love is radiating from me. I don't even want to hear the word love anymore. Because what this is right
here is not love, but want and right now want is all I need.

A/N: So how was it? I hope you understood Beth's reason the way I wanted to get it across. It's the idea where you care about someone so much but when they're far away you start to question them and you sometimes become paranoid over the tiniest of things.