A/N: So I decided to update early because you guys reviewed the last chapter really fast and that just made my day. So only one person asked a question and now I will answer it.

nilegirl: Hmm... I wonder this myself a lot. Jordan is a very strong opinionated person and she thinks she's right about everything and hates being wrong and when she is wrong she doesn't want to admit it, so that's probably where the stubbornness came from. As for her being a tomboy, Jordan grew up with most of her friends being guys because she use to play basketball and hockey all the time where all the other little girls played with Barbies. Jordan has grown up and become a little more girly but she'll always be a tomboy.

Alrighty, on to the story! Also I couldn't come up with a song title for this chapter because this chapter is just all over the place. lol

Disclaimer: Does anyone even know what happened to Degrassi this past season? I don't know because I don't own it. =)

My parents have always told me to only say, "I love you" if I truly and deeply mean it. I've only said "I love you" to two people in a romantic way and that was Christie and Beth. Of course at the tender age of 11 I really did believe I was in love with Christie and I know in my heart that I'm loved Beth and I still love her. That is exactly why I'm standing here in this dilemma. As I'm standing here looking at Tammy I'm not too sure what to say. All I know is that I'm pissed because once again Alex was right.

"Um, thank you?" I say in a form of a question. Tammy's face sort of drops and now she seems confused. Fuck.

"Thank you?" she asks. "Jordy that's all you're going to say?"

"I don't really know what else to say," I tell Tammy honestly.

"Maybe that you love me too?"

I put my hands in my pocket, not saying anything. I don't really know what to say at this point except that Alex was right.

Tammy is shaking her head. "You don't love me, do you?" she asks in a quiet voice.

I feel like someone just punched me in the stomach with that question. "Tammy, love is a very strong word," I tell her, trying to reason with her. "We haven't even been together for three months." If I try to convince her it's too soon to say it then maybe she'll drop it.

"I've always known I love you Jordan." Tammy looks up at me and her eyes are shining. Oh God, I cannot deal with crying. "You still love her don't you?" she asks in an accusing voice.

What? I look at Tammy with a bewildered look. "What are you talking about?"

"Your ex," she says. "You still love her don't you?"

"Tammy I-"

Tammy is walking toward me and I'm a little scared. "Don't even think about lying to me Jordan Johnson!" She's angry and tears are sliding down her face and it's scaring me. "You're still in love with your ex aren't you?"

I lower my head. I can't lie to her, lying at this point won't do any good. "Yes," I whisper.

"Look at me and say it," she says forcefully.

I look up at Tammy. "Yes, I'm still in love with my ex."

"Have you been in love with her this whole time we've been together?"

"Tammy-"

"Have you been in love with her this whole time we've been together?" Her face is so scary right now.

"Yes."

SMACK!

I raise my hand to my burning cheek. Who knew she could slap so hard? Who knew she would be so angry that she would slap me in the first place?

"Tammy," I start.

"No!" she yells. "This whole time Jordan! This whole time we've been together you've been in love with your ex! So what was I to you? Just someone you could play with and have sex with? Did you even care about me or was that fake too?"

I start toward Tammy but she backs away when I take a step forward. "Tammy nothing about this relationship was or is fake. I do care about you."

Tammy is shaking her head. "This whole time I thought I finally had the girl I was in love with. I finally thought that you cared about me and maybe just maybe I would get the one thing I had always wished for."

"Tammy you do have me," I tell her.

Tammy shakes her head and looks at me. "No I don't because your heart belongs to someone else." Tammy runs a hand through her hair and looks at me with sad and angry eyes. "You should leave," she says.

I try walking toward her again but she backs away. "Tammy please don't."

"Can you ever love me?"

What? Her question hits me hard. I look her right in the eyes. "Not as more than a friend," I tell her honestly.
Tammy sniffles as more tears roll down her face. "I can't be with someone who will never love me," she says. "You need to leave."

I'm nodding my head because she's in pain and I caused her this pain so I need to do what she asks me to do. I walk to the door. I reach for the doorknob as I'm about to leave. I turn around and look at Tammy. "I do care about you Tammy and I'm sorry I hurt you," I tell her sincerely.

Tammy doesn't look at me. "Just leave Jordan," she says.

I open the door and exit her room. I close her door and rest my forehead against it. I can hear her crying and that's breaking my already broken heart. I put a hand over the door and my other hand over my heart. I never thought I could feel more horrible than I did when Beth broke up with me but I'm pretty sure this just beat that. I feel tears rolling down my face but I don't make a sound. I don't have the right to cry. I don't have the right to feel bad when I just hurt someone.

My hand slides down the door and now I'm walking away. I just did something that I told myself I wouldn't do, something I told Alex I wouldn't do. I just broke Tammy's heart and I feel like shit.

1 ½ months later:
Worst thing about college is finals. Finals take up all your time and they eat your soul. Not that I had much of a soul left for them to eat. I feel shitty and horrible all the time. I feel shitty because I broke Tammy's heart and because now that I'm not with Tammy I'm constantly reminded that I miss Beth a lot. Also Alex is always with Sage so I don't exactly have someone I can turn to all the time.

I'm doing laundry right now. I look at my white polo shirt that has a huge coffee stain on it. Rebecca saw me at Starbucks the other day and let me just tell you that iced coffee can make your eyes burn. I'm doing laundry before Alex and I fly back home. I don't want nasty smelly dirty clothes in my suitcases.

I hear knocking on my door. I look through the fish eye which I started doing after Tammy and I broke up because I found quite a few surprises when I opened my door before looking. Let's see, balloons full of shaving cream, silly string to the face, and I can't forget the water guns full of soda. I look through the fish eye and it's just Alex. I open the door letting her in.

"Hey," I greet her glumly.

"Doing laundry I see," Alex says, noticing the clothes all over the floor.

"Yeah, I figured the last thing I do at FSU my freshman year would be laundry," I tell her.

Alex is nodding her head. "So how are you holding up?"

I pick up my white stained polo shirt and show it to her. "Well my shirt got to enjoy my iced latte."

"Which one did that?"

"Rebecca," I answer. "Not that I can blame her."

"It could have been worse," Alex tell me.

"Yeah, she could have came to me with a paintball gun and shoot me. Oh wait, that happened last week with a van full of sorority girls doing a drive by."

Alex shrugs. "Well they do say a sorority is all about sisterhood so I guess when you mess with one sister you mess with them all." Alex starts chuckling.

"It's not funny," I tell her sternly.

Alex continues laughing. "No it is because one, I warned you, two, I was right, and three, sorority girls really don't like you right now."

I grab a pillow off my bed and hit her in the face with it.

"Ow!" Alex exclaims. "That hurt."

"Yeah well a lot of things hurt in life."

Alex approaches me and places her hands on my shoulders. "Listen it'll be ok," she tells me sincerely. "Tammy will find someone who will love her and her craziness and you and Beth will get back together."

"And if we don't?"

"Don't worry you will. Fate and destiny will make sure of that."

I quirk an eyebrow and eye Alex suspiciously. "You're being really weird. Since when have you been a believer of fate and destiny? And why the hell are you so damn chipper?"

"I'm just happy," Alex says simply.

"Mhm," I say continuing eyeing her suspiciously. "So what are you and Sage doing about your relationship over the summer?"

"We've decided we're going to stay together," Alex says happily and proudly.

"Really?" I ask in disbelief.

"Yes, really," Alex answers. "Sage and I like each other a lot and we know that long distance relationships are tough and although we're a new couple we're still going to try to make it work."

"Wow," I say in astonishment. "You two must really like each other."

Alex is nodding her head. "Yeah we do. Alright we need to start doing some laundry so you'll be ready to go tomorrow morning."

"What about you?"

"I'm already packed."

"The grandparents probably helped you."

Alex smiles. "Yep, now come on. You have a lot of clothes that probably need to be washed twice."

I stick my tongue out at Alex; she's such a smart ass sometimes.

Next Day:
Ugh. It's not that I don't hate flying I just hate how long it takes to get somewhere and I hate layovers. Alex and I are in Dallas right now at the Dallas/Ft. Worth International Airport. We have our connection flight to Toronto from here but we've been here for forty-five minutes and we still have another hour to wait. Alex is off somewhere getting us food since the breakfast they served us on the plane can hardly be called breakfast. Airlines are really screwing us over when it comes to food now-a-days.

I run a hand through my hair, tired. I had to get up at three in the morning so we could get to the airport and catch our 7:15 flight because for international flights you have to get to the airport three hours early. The only reason we chose such an early flight is because there's only one lay over and we're suppose to arrive in Toronto by 2:30.

I'm just so tired and cranky. I couldn't even sleep on the plane because my empty stomach was bothering me so much. Alex finally appears with food and drinks. Alex hands me a McDonald's bag with an apple juice box. I open the bag quickly and grab the biscuit sandwich inside. I open the sandwich and take a bite.

"Mm," I moan. "So good," I say with a mouth full of egg, bacon, and cheese biscuit.

Alex looks at me disgusted. "Ew," she says.

"Shut up, I'm hungry."

Alex is shaking her head. "That is so unhealthy," she says. She takes a bite out of her donut.

I point to her donut. "That probably has almost the same amount of calories as my sandwich."

Alex is shaking her head, disagreeing with me. "Not possible, plus your sandwich is probably loaded with tons of fat. Also, everyone knows donuts are good for you." Alex grins at me and takes another bite out of her donut.

I'm shaking my head at her. I don't have the energy to start a stupid argument with her. I scarf, yes I said scarf, down my biscuit sandwich and drink my juice. Finally my stomach is no longer eating itself. Ow, what the hell. Alex is elbowing me.

I turn to look at her, anger running through my veins. "Why are you elbowing me?" I ask angrily.

Alex isn't saying anything. Instead she's pointing off in some direction. I follow the direction she's pointing in. If I was still eating my breakfast it would have just fallen out of my mouth because my jaw literally just dropped.

"Go talk to her," Alex says.

"Hellz no," I tell her. "Are you crazy?"

"Obviously this is a sign from fate," Alex says seriously.

This girl has completely gone crazy. "Have you gone loco?" I ask her. "This isn't fate, this is me being punished."

Alex is shaking her head, vigorously disagreeing with me. "How can you call this punishment?" Alex asks in disbelief. "Obviously this is fate or destiny or whatever allowing your dumbass self to actually gain the happiness you've been seeking for so many months."

I'm giving Alex a dirty look. "I liked you better when you were the girl from the wrong side of the tracks that didn't say anything unless she was threatening someone."

"This is why you shouldn't try to make people mature and change for the better," she says. "Now go before I pick you up and carry you over there myself," Alex says in a serious tone. She pushes me.
I slap her hands away. "Fine, I'm going." I stand up and start walking. I can do this, this is no big deal. Sure she shot me down and broke my heart again in Miami but she's scared. Yeah that's it. I have nothing to worry about.

I sit down in the empty seat. "Hey," I greet nervously.

Beth smiles but it doesn't seem like a happy smile. "Of all the flights to Toronto in all the airports in America, we would end up at the same one," Beth says.

I shrug my shoulders. "Fate?"

Beth chuckles and closes her book. "Or sheer punishment," Beth says bluntly.

I'm looking at her and the spark that was once there still isn't present. "How are you?" I ask.

"I'm good Jordan," Beth answers. "How's Tammy?" I hear a bit of attitude and annoyance in her voice.

"Tammy and I broke up," I tell her, looking her straight in the eyes.

Beth's face is unreadable. "Who broke up with whom?" She genuinely seems interested.

"Tammy broke up with me," I say honestly.

Beth is smirking and nodding her head. "So that's why you're talking to me," she says. "Makes sense."

Ok, I do not like this version of Beth. Bitchy Beth is not ok in my book. "She told me she loved me."

"Then why would she break up with you Jordan?"

"Because I couldn't say it back to her." I take Beth's hand into mine. "I'm still in love with you."

Beth is shaking her hand and slides her hand out of mine. "Don't do this Jordan." Beth gathers her things and stands up. She's walking away and I'm following her.

"No Beth, don't you do this," I tell her. Beth turns around and looks at me. "You're always running away from me. You're always running away from my heart, from your own heart."

Beth walks toward me. She's really close to me right now and I'm nervous because I have no idea what she's about to do.

"You keep saying you're in love with me," Beth says in a quiet voice so no one else can hear us. "You came to Miami and admitted you were with some girl that you were also fucking. Now here you are again after you just got out of a relationship with said girl and you're telling me you're still in love with me. You stopped loving me the day the fall semester started." Once again Beth is walking away. My life these past few months have just been people walking away and it feels like crap.

I walk back over to my seat and give Alex an angry and sad look.

Alex pats my shoulder. "Well bright side," she starts. "We're in Texas and I bet we could find a cowboy hat somewhere in this airport to buy."

I'm shaking my head at her. "I dislike you so much right now."

I just want to go home already. The states have done nothing but cause trouble and drama in my life.

CANADA!
"Those two in-flight movies sucked," Alex says.

"I don't even remember when Everyone's Hero came to the theaters," I tell her.

We just got off the plane and were tortured with two horrible kids' movies. I'm just happy that I'm done flying for the day and I can just chill at home for the summer. Alex and I are walking down the ramp right now to meet up with our parents. Yes I said' our' because according to mom and dad the adoption process is almost over so I might as well get use to saying it now

"My babies are home!" I hear someone yell.

Alex and I share a look. We have both just agreed that that was probably our mother and yes, she's crazy. I see my mom waddling toward us with Brian walking behind her, I'm guessing to make sure she doesn't fall. Damn, Mom looks big.

She opens her arms and Alex and I both hug her. "It's so good to have you two home," she says.

"Hi Mom," I greet her.

"Hey Mrs. Johnson," Alex says. Mom gives Alex a look. "I mean Mom," Alex says, trying to fix her mistake.

"I'm glad to see you two UFC fighters came back home in one peace," Brian says.

"Ha ha," I fake laugh, "You're so funny dad."

"Hey guys!" I hear a voice greet us behind my parents.

Oh my God. It's a girl with some very red hair and I do believe I haven't seen this girl in forever.

"Well if it isn't Ellie Nash," I say astonished.

Ellie and I share a hug and then she hugs Alex.

"Ellie, what are you doing here?" Alex asks, sounding just as surprised as I am.

"Well your mom told me you two were coming back today and I didn't get to exactly say good-bye when you left," Ellie says. She turns her attention to Alex. "Just know that if I had been there that day I would have never let Paige and Marco do that to you."

"Ellie its ok," Alex tells her. "I actually enjoyed Florida. Met some cool people, didn't have to wear a jacket most of the time, and apparently the way we say 'aboot' is funny and cute."

Ellie raises an eyebrow. "Americans are weird."

I raise my hand. "I take offense to that."

Ellie and Alex are both laughing at me now. We're all walking to gather Alex and mine's suitcases and bags.

"So how are Marco and Paige?" I ask.

"Well none of us live together anymore. Paige's father bought her some condo outside of Toronto. Marco and Eric moved in together and I decided to move back in with my mom."

"Wow, things really did change after we left," I tell Alex.

Alex nods her head, agreeing with me. "Seems like it."

We gather our bags and leave the airport in my parents' van which I'm happy we have now since my mom is taking up so much room with her huge stomach.

Home:
Home, sweet sweet home. They tell you there's no place like home and "they" are absolutely right. There is truly no place like home. I'm lying in my bed right now, rubbing my face into my pillow.

"I can't believe you're about to be related to that," Ellie says jokingly to Alex.

Alex laughs. "Yeah legally though, not biologically thank God."

I raise my hand and give them both the middle finger.

"So Alex tell me about this new girlfriend of yours," Ellie says.

I raise myself off my bed. "Oh you mean Sage?" I ask, singing Sage's name. "Alex makes these really weird eyes ate her whenever she's looking at her. It's pretty creepy."

"Shut up," Alex says. Alex puts her hands in her pockets and turns her attention back to Ellie. "There's not really much to tell. She's an amazing girl and I like her and she likes me."

"It's so cute, it's sickening," I tell Ellie.

Alex points a finger at me angrily. "Say one more thing Jordan Johnson and you won't live to see your next birthday."

I'm walking on sunshine. WHOA! I'm walking on sunshine.

Alex looks down at her phone and a huge smile instantly appears on her face. "I'll be right back," she tells us. Now she's walking to her room.

"Who's that?" Ellie asks me.

"Guessing by the ringtone and the smile that appeared on Alex's face I have to say its Sage calling her," I inform her.

"Wow, she must really like this girl."

I'm nodding my head.

"I'm glad Alex moved on since Paige moved on," Ellie says.

"Paige moved on?" I ask. Of course she would, no doubt in my mind that she wouldn't.

"About a month ago she hooked up with Griffon," Ellie tells me.

I raise an eyebrow as confusion appears on my face. "Who the hell is Griffon?" I ask.

"He moved the same week Paige got her new job. You remember the guy we had interviewed when you were over that one time and I voted 'no'."

I'm nodding my head, starting to remember. "Paige would hook up with a house mate."

"Yep, that's Paige Michalchuk for ya," Ellie says.

Ellie doesn't sound too happy and I know it can't be from jealousy. Is there something she's not telling me?

A/N: I feel like with this chapter it was finally time to leave Florida. Now I must warn y'all that the next chapter is Jordan-centric but the chapter after that will be about family and Paige will finally be joining us. YAY!