A KLAINE/ PUCKOFSKY FANFIC
What I Did for Love
Author's note:
aaaand here's chapter 6. Please review! I'd love to know what you like/want to see more of. : )
*** I do not own Glee, but I will own your heart.
CHAPTER 6: IN WHICH I FEATURE A SLEEPOVER AND BURT AND BLAINE HAVE A LITTLE TALK
Warning: sad Kurt, diva song, angst
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The Warblers all but crashed into their sleeping bags that night, exhausted from an afternoon of skating, singing along to musicals, and more snowball fights. Burt had come down that evening to say goodnight, with the ulterior motive of checking the sleeping arrangements, a certain eavesdropped conversation fresh in his mind. His fatherly concerns were assuaged when he saw Blaine's sleeping bag was farthest away from Kurt's bed, although he didn't quite know what to think of the way David was using Wes as a human pillow. He decided not to ask.
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Blaine opened his eyes in the dim light and peered blurrily at his watch. 6:30 a.m. Why was he awake so early? He heard a sniffling noise and looked over to see Kurt sitting up in his bed hugging a pillow, tears streaming down his face. Blaine glanced at Wes and David, cuddled together and dead to the world.
"Kurt?" whispered Blaine. The countertenor glanced up, startled, quickly brushing the tears from his cheeks.
"Hey," The dark-haired boy struggled out of his sleeping bag, t-shirt askew, and came over to sit beside Kurt on the bed. "What's wrong?"
Kurt blinked at the ceiling. "Nothing, really," he whispered. "It was just a dream... about my mom." He continued after Blaine's prompting look. "It was so long ago, but sometimes I miss her more than others. Dad's tried so hard to make it work without her, but raising me alone hasn't been easy for him... especially with the whole gay thing."
Blaine nodded; Kurt had told him all the stories.
"And I feel like I can't talk about it so much now, with Finn and Carole here."
"Hey, that's totally normal to miss your mom. You shouldn't keep it bottled up inside." Blaine half-smiled, nudging the other. "You're in the Glee Club, and what do Glee kids do when they have feelings they need to express?"
Kurt laughed softly in spite of himself; he knew where Blaine was going with this.
"They sing about it." Blaine ducked his head to catch Kurt's gaze. "Do you... have a song you want to sing to her?"
Kurt nodded, wiping the last of the tears off his cheek.
"Well then, come on. Get dressed. We're taking a field-trip."
The boys got dressed quietly, stepping over their sleeping friends. Blaine grabbed Wes' keys and led Kurt out though the icy mist of the morning and into the BMW, glad that they'd remembered to put the top up last night. The sun had not yet begun to rise, there was enough light to see well, but the air was chilly.
Ten minutes later the BMW arrived at the graveyard, and the two boys stepped out into the pale light of the morning fog. Blaine walked around the car and reached out to take Kurt's hand. They walked in silence through the graveyard for several minutes before Kurt brought Blaine to a stop in front of a certain headstone.
Kurt knelt and brushed the snow away from the letters and numbers engraved in pale marble, then stood back beside Blaine, their breaths misting in the cold air. Blaine gazed at Kurt, and without looking down, found the younger boy's hand again.
Kurt squeezed back. "I wish I had flowers."
"You have a song."
Kurt bowed his head and closed his eyes.
You were once
my one companion
you were all
that mattered.
You were once
a friend and father -
then my world
was shattered.
Wishing you were
somehow here again.
wishing you were
somehow near.
Sometimes it seemed
if I just dreamed,
somehow you would be here
A tear rolled down Kurt's cheek but his voice didn't waiver.
Wishing I could
hear your voice again
knowing that I
never would
Dreaming of you
won't help me to do
all that you dreamed
I could.
Passing bells
and sculpted angels,
cold and monumental,
seem, for you,
the wrong companions -
you were warm and gentle
Too many years
fighting back tears
Why can't the past
just die?
Kurt squeezed his eyes shut as his voice soared up to the high notes, causing more tears to roll down his cheeks.
Wishing you were
somehow here again
knowing we must
say goodbye
Try to forgive
teach me to live
give me the strength
to try
No more memories,
no more silent tears
No more gazing across
the wasted years
Help me say
goodbye
Help me say
goodbye
The two boys stood together as the last ringing notes faded away. Blaine put his arm gently around Kurt, who tilted his head to rest against Blaine's. They stayed like that for a while, just standing close, gazing down at the snowy headstone.
"She would have liked you." Kurt whispered.
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Burt woke up to the sound of footsteps as Blaine and Kurt entered the house. Blaine went downstairs to shower and Kurt went upstairs to put the coffee on before Wes and David woke up. Burt wandered into the kitchen to find his son staring out the window and sipping coffee, puffy-eyed, yet looking strangely relieved.
"Kurt," Burt said softly. Kurt turned to his dad with a small smile. "have you been crying?" Burt sat down beside Kurt with his own mug.
Kurt gazed into his coffee. "I ummm... had a dream about mom last night. I woke up crying." Kurt explained how Blaine had taken him to sing in the graveyard. "I feel a lot better now."
"Seems like a nice kid, that Blaine." said Burt slowly sipping his coffee.
Kurt nodded softly "She would have liked him."
Burt glanced at his son then back at his coffee. "You uhh... you like him?"
Kurt grinned, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks. He paused, making sure he could still hear the shower running downstairs. "Yeah," he admitted quietly, "but we're only friends."
Burt nodded, placated, "Just keep me updated." He mumbled, remembering the other boys' assertion that a) Blaine was indeed a gentleman and b) apparently things between him and Kurt were going very slowly.
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Father and son had returned to drinking their coffee in silence when a damp-haired Blaine appeared.
"Good morning, Mr. Hummel." He turned to Kurt. "Shower's all yours. Wes and David are still dead asleep. We may have to shove snow down their shirts to wake them up."
Kurt grinned. "Or just waft some bacon under their noses."
"That would do it." Blaine laughed as Kurt disappeared downstairs.
Blaine busied himself with his coffee, chatting with Burt about the recent Buckeyes game. Suddenly the curly-haired boy stopped and turned to Burt, a strange expression on his face.
"Mr. Hummel?" Burt looked up. Blaine took a deep breath, then opened and closed his mouth, not really having thought through what he wanted to say.
Burt was watching him a bit apprehensively.
"This is going to sound stupid," Blaine mumbled, "but, thank you for being such a great father to Kurt."
This was not what Burt had been expecting to hear.
"I know it hasn't been easy for you; Kurt's told me everything you've done for him, everything you've gone through."
Burt looked down at his coffee, not knowing what to say.
Blaine continued "...and you not only accept him, you defend him and protect him and you let him know that you really love him no matter what."
Burt looked up as he heard Blaine's voice break on the word 'love'. He was startled to see the boy's eyes were moist.
Blaine half-smiled. "I'm just glad Kurt has a father like you."
Burt mulled this revelation over in his mind for a minute before looking at Blaine. "And... your dad...?"
Blaine looked away. "My dad..." he said in a tight voice, "my dad was... not so much like you." Blaine stared unseeingly at the wall. "I...I didn't even plan on telling him, it- just happened... I remember we just stood... sorta frozen... staring at each other for an eternity... I thought... that-in that moment- that maybe... maybe he'd be ok with it..." Blaine laughed bitterly. "But he wasn't."
Burt stared, transfixed, as Blaine continued in a quiet voice. "I didn't even feel the pain; I was struck numb by his words." Blaine stared off into the distance. "...the bruises fade after a while... cuts heal... but the things he screamed in my face the whole time... I can't forget."
Burt gazed at the handsome young boy, a mix or horror and pity and terrible sadness welling up inside him; he realized all too clearly that it could have been his son going through the same struggles Blaine. Kurt had faced abuse and discrimination, but always had a safe place at home; his friend had not been so lucky.
"Mr Hummel? I... I haven't told Kurt this yet... I mean, I told him about being bullied at school... but not about my dad; I didn't want to upset him. Not when he had so much going on already."
Burt nodded. "I understand. And, Blaine, thank you for what you said. I'm real sorry for what happened to you," Burt put a hand on Blaine's shoulder, "It's gotta be tough, so... I'm here if you ever need a dad to talk to, you know, like a father-figure to be there for you."
Blaine stared up at Kurt's dad for a minute, surprised, but deeply touched. "Thank you, Mr. Hummel." He said, a big grin spreading over his face.
Burt started to mumble something about adopting sons left, right, and center, but was interrupted by Wes and David thundering up the stairs, and the ensuing chaos in the kitchen as Kurt arrived to prevent them from burning the bacon.
.
The Trinity packed up and brought their bags out to Wes' car after breakfast. They were headed back to Dalton early to prepare for the week. Kurt was going to drive back after another family supper.
After much hugging and goodbyes, ("Relax! I'm going to see you guys in a few hours!") Kurt and Burt watched the Trinity leave from the doorway.
Blaine put the bags in the trunk, while David picked up Wes from behind and started swinging him around.
"Are they...?" Burt nodded toward the lawn, where David now had Wes over his shoulders and was spinning in circles. Burt was clearly wondering the same thing as Finn.
"No, they are merely...close."
"WHEEEEEEE!" cried Wes gleefully, stretching his arms out like an airplane.
Blaine, who had already hopped in the back seat, leaned over and laid on the horn.
"Ahhhggg!" screamed David. The boys collapsed in a flurry of ties and legs.
"You two can do airplane rides at Dalton!" Blaine called.
"The snow isn't as soft there," whined David from Wes's armpit.
Kurt turned to his father. "Dalton is never boring."
Burt raised his eyebrows "I can see that."
The boys leapt into the BMW and backed out of the drive.
"Bye, Kurt!" they yelled, all three waving exuberantly. David was waving Wes's tie. And the Trinity continued to wave madly until they had rounded the corner.
Author's note:
Wishing you were somehow here again: www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=JAIMbYSwSWg
I really want Kurt to sing this song on the show. I know Chris Colfer could blow it out of the water.
I will now take this paragraph to express my undying love and admiration for Chris Colfer. He is a brilliant actor, has the voice of an angel, is witty and hilarious in real life, and has overcome bullying and discrimination and gone on to inspire and encourage gay youth. The success of Kurt has directed a lot of power and momentum to promote support, equality, and acceptance of the GLBT community. Where would we be if Chris had never auditioned for Glee and Ryan hadn't written the role of Kurt just for him?
I am so proud of Chris-congrats on the Golden Globe- and I'm so looking forward to the new EW issue featuring Chris Colfer and Darren Chris. I literally screamed when I saw the cover photo on CP Coulter's Tumblr. Why are there so few Chris/Darren photos out there? EW, I hope you did a huge photo-shoot, cuz we need our Klaine pix. Also, maybe a Glee Klaine Poster? Just putting it out there.