A/N: Hello, kiddles, sorry for the long wait! I've not really been reading much Boosh fanfic lately. I've sort of been taken in by some fanfic that I can't explain to you, because I have the feeling you'd all get intensely creeped out! SO! Anywho, hello, again
This is a short chapter...really short...I've been having issues
But please enjoy the angst anyway :')
Howard was still. Of course he was. He was straight, I was a man, and I was kissing him. And to make everything one million and three times worse, I was his best friend.
Well...
"Vince," he whispered against my still moving lips. "Vince."
I pulled away and looked down. "Fuck."
"Vince, I-I'm sorry."
"Fuck!" I screamed. "Just...forget it, Howard."
"Vince, you kissed me!"
"Yeah, Howard, just forget it." I stood up and past to the door.
"Vince," Howard said again, more firmly.
I turned to him and gave him a tired look. There was a sudden crack of thunder and tiny water droplets started to fall. I watched as Howard's curls were soon soaked in the rainfall. He looked helpless, confused.
"It's not something I can just forget, Vince," he said, as he licked the raindrops from his lips.
"You didn't find it very hard before," I mumbled.
"What?"
"Nothing!" I yelled. "I said forget it. Just fucking leave it, okay, Howard? Please. It's nothing."
"It's not nothing. It's a kiss, Vince! A kiss! How do you expect me to forget it?"
"I just do. Please, Howard," I pleaded. "It doesn't matter...it didn't mean anything..."
I trailed off.
I stood in the rain on our porch, breathing heavily. Tears started to well up in my eyes.
"Can't we talk about it?"
"There isn't anything...there's nothing..." I murmured. "I'm going to bed."
I left Howard in the rain.
I didn't know what to do. I went inside; I had a shower; I went to bed.
What else was there to do?
I loved my best friend, but he didn't love me. And now I'd fucked it up.
Of course I had. I fucked everything up.
I closed my eyes, hoping I'd get to sleep soon. I couldn't bear being awake when Howard finally came to bed. We were idiots to share a room, but we'd always been so close, it just seemed normal. I was an idiot to let myself fall this far. I had to fucking up a bit. I needed to open my eyes and try and fall in love with someone who was actually attainable. I hated that idea. I loved Howard. How was I supposed to love anyone else?
The thing that really really fucking sucked so hard like a Mexican prostitute was that Howard wasn't actually unattainable. He just wasn't attracted to skinny, feminine, vampire-like men.
~Winter xx