( I don't own this song! Or anything else...)
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Saigo ni kimi ga
hohoende
Massugu ni sashidashita mono wa
Tada amarini kirei
sugite
Koraekirezu namida afureta
What
you offered straight to me
With a smile for the last time
Was
just so beautiful
That I gave way to tears
He'd never hesitated. In the split second before certain death, he'd thrown himself in the way. And he'd laughed. As though it was no big deal, that this was just one more impossibility he could overcome...make possible. She'd heard the smile in his voice, the warm sunny smile she had grown to love with all her heart. He'd accepted his fate without flinching...he'd even been happy about it. Happy that he'd been able to save the ship that had become his home, and been able to save her. She had cried, of course. It had seemed so unfair, that someone so full of life should have his snuffed out so early. She had blamed herself..for not being strong enough to prevent what had happened. Had wondered for hours...what if? What if he hadn't had to sacrifice himself? What could they have had?
But in time, she'd been able to accept things. Accept that however much she imagined the future they could have had together, it could never happen. She knew why he'd done what he did...the ultimate expression of love - he'd given his life up for her. Had died so she could live. And after she'd been able to accept it...it had made her happy. She'd cried again. Not from anger and grief this time..but from love and gratitude. And she'd made him a promise. That however long it took, she would wait for him. And one day they could be together again - this time forever.
Ano
hi kitto futari wa
Ai ni fureta
Watashitachi
wa sagashiatte
Tokini jibun o miushinatte
Yagate mitsukeatta no
nara
Donna ketsumatsu ga matte ite mo
Unmei
to iu igai
Hoka ni wa nai
Surely,
that day
The two of us touched love
We
sought for each other
Lost ourselves at times
And found each
other at last
So whatever result may be waiting for us
It's
nothing but
Destiny
In a way, she supposed that despite her acceptance of his sacrifice, some part of her deep inside would always refuse to believe that she would never see him again. In the brief time they had been together, the two of them had grown extremely close..so much so that when he had left her, it had felt like part of herself had died too. In a way, she had searched for him all that time, those two years she'd been alone...searched for that part of herself that was missing.
And she had found him. At first, it hadn't really been him, the one she loved. He was there, but not there. His confusion, anger...it had been like part of him had been missing too. Despite this, the two of them had become friends, and gradually grown closer until he was her best friend, her constant companion. Perhaps it had been because they'd both had missing parts. His memories, and her heart. And the longer they spent together, the more the gaps filled in. He began to remember fragments of his life before, and she learned to love again.
Fate was a strange thing sometimes. To tear people apart, only to push them together again.
Kimi
ga tabidatta ano sora ni
Yasashiku watashi o terasu hoshi ga
hikatte
Soba
ni ite aisuru hito
Toki o koete katachi o kaete
Futari mada
minu mirai ga koko ni
Nee konnanimo nokotteru kara
In
the sky you set out for
Stars are shining tenderly upon me
Stay
by my side, my love
Crossing over time and changing your shape
You see? The future we haven't yet seen
Remains here like
this
Her life had become a little brighter because of him. Her loneliness had been greater than she had realised, weighing heavily on her shoulders and seeming to leach colour from the world. She had smiled, but the smile had been hollow, empty. But because of him, her solitude had ended. She was able to laugh and smile again, and the only reward he needed was to continue to stay by her side.
Then one day...everything had changed. History had repeated itself, him putting himself in harm's way to protect her. The sharp pain in her heart had been exactly the same, the agony of losing a loved one. Was that fate's lesson? That no matter how much you wished for it, you couldn't change the past?
But fate had a different lesson in mind...that sometimes faithfulness and love were rewarded. He had come back. Not just survived, but returned. He remembered. His life, their love, their promises. Her greatest wishes had been granted without her doing anything to deserve them. The one she loved...had remained loyal to, had come back to her. The missing part of herself had been healed, her loneliness finally lifted. And all she wanted now was to have the life she had so often imagined in those two years. A life with him.
Shinjite
aisuru hito
Watashi no naka de kimi wa ikiru
Dakara kore kara
saki mo zutto
Sayonara nante iwanai
Ano
hi kitto futari wa
Ai ni fureta
Trust
me, my love
You live within me
So I'll never
Say good-bye
to you
Surely,
that day
The two of us touched love
She'd never really accepted that he was gone, had she? She may have come to believe it in her mind, but her heart had never accepted it. Every time she'd turned around, she had expected to see him there, smiling at her the way he always did. It was only after he'd returned to her that she'd realised that she'd never really let go of him. She'd never said goodbye.
In the months they had been together, the two of them had become part of each other. She had no doubt that if she'd been the one to leave that way, he would never have been able to say goodbye either.
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( The song in this fic is 'Heaven' by Ayumi Hamasaki, one of the loveliest songs I've ever heard. If you want to hear it for yourself, go to youtube and search for 'fate/hollow ataraxia'. There's a link to an AMV featuring this song :smiles:
Please read and review! )