A/N: I haven't got much to say, but listen to Hedley while reading this. Hedley is perfect.
Vector had started singing. Another day, another song. I wasn't sure what she was singing today. Though, I never knew what she was singing. She was plugged into her iPod just jamming away to the music playing loudly in her ears.
I could have said that she'd go deaf, but the hypocrite in me found a way to keep it inside. Being Vector wasn't easy, obviously. It was hard work being a teenager. Especially an insane one like Vector.
"Whenever you smile, I smile," she sang to herself as she read her book. She seemed content, not really bothered by anything. That was good. I was not in the mood for a depressed Vector. I couldn't handle the depression I had myself, so someone else weighing it on me as well would do fuck all.
I wasn't a depressed person, but then I fell in love with my straight best mate...Oh, and then I kissed my straight best mate, so I was I'd totally harassed my well-being.
"What are you reading?" I asked Vector trying to pass the time so I wouldn't look over at Howard cleaning the tables around the cafe...his arse..."What are you reading?"
"Uuh, Brave New World. Have you read it?" She asked, pulling on earphone out.
"Of course! What are you listening to?"
"Nothing, " she said firmly, looking down. "Justin Bieber."
"Justin Bieber?" I asked. "That tiny, soft child from America?"
"He's Canadian, actually," Vector corrected me, slipping a skinny cut piece of lined paper to mark the spot of her book.
"Tiny and soft though, yeah?'
"Yeah, he's tiny and soft. Wish I had my own Biebs. That'd be great. I'd dress him up as a panda and feed him twiglets...which he doesn't like by the way!"
"He doesn't like twiglets?"
"Naw, it is was on an interview with Alan Carr. He doesn't like twiglets. Don't really know why everyone likes them, though. They're just weird."
"They're good to crush though..."
"I suppose-"
"Hey, Vince," Howard called to me...I suddenly realized that we'd actually have to talk about this. "Vince, I'm not ignoring you anymore."
"What's going on?" Vector asked, clearly concerned.
"Nothing to do with you, V," I said. "It's uh...adult stuff."
"Adult stuff?" She scoffed. "Vince and adult stuff don't really go together, but whatever."
Howard and I really had to stop leaving the cafe when Naboo wasn't working or when he was stoned in the corner. Naboo was stoned in the corner today, holding onto Bollo for dear life. He loved that stuffed ape way too much.
"Howard, I don't know what to say."
"I do."
I took a deep breath in. "Say it then," I breathed out.
"I'm really sorry."
"For what?"
"For being an arsehole."
"You're not an arsehole, Howard."
"I was stupid to never notice. I'm so sorry."
"Look, Howard, it doesn't matter. It was just the heat of the moment."
"Vince, I'm not stupid, you know it wasn't just the heat of the moment."
"No...I guess not." I felt ashamed. You should never feel ashamed to love someone who you could definitely actually be with (despite the straightness), but here I was feeling as guilty as a young priest.
"Are you...gay?"
"No, I'm not gay, Howard." I whispered. "It's-uuuh-sort of like, anyone...I don't put a face to a gender...if that makes sense. I like people...not boys or girls."
"So, you're bisexual?"
"I guess so...don't really like to label things..." I sighed. "Always found that stupid."
"Yeah, me too."
"What are you gonna do now?"
"Me? I haven't got anything to do. I want to know how long though...how long you've-"
"Been in love with you?" I asked, and finally looked Howard straight into the eyes.
"Love?" Howard said hesitantly. "I didn't know you loved...me."
"Well, I do."
"Fuck, I'm sorry."
"For what? For being irresistable when you kissed me at that fucking party?"
"I don't remember that."
"You were too drunk to remember. I was drunk enough to do stupid shit that night, but not drunk enough to forget."
"I'm sorry."
"Stop saying you're sorry! You're not sorry! You don't understand what it's like to be in love with your best mate, who is clearly not interested in men! You don't know how hard it's been for me. It's been fucking years, Howard. Years of me being an idiot!"
"You're not an idiot?"
"Really?" I scoffed. "You tell me otherwise every bloody day."
"That's a joke, Vince, and you know it! You're my best friend! We joke about that kind of shit."
"Yeah, I know." I said, not really knowing how this conversation was supposed to be going. I imagined Howard would be having a huge fit, but he just seemed kind of confused and...interested...? "Fuck..."
"Yeah...fuck."
"I know you don't feel the same way, Howard. I'm not expecting you too, but I don't know how it's possible for this not to be awkward now. I-I love you and I don't think I can stop at this point..."
"Vince, I really can't do anything. You know how I feel...I'd change if I could."
"What's that supposed to mean? If you were gay, you'd be totally into me?"
"Well...yeah."
"Now I'm just confused."
"You're gorgeous, Vince. I just wished it did something to me."
"So...wait...you want to be attracted to me, but aren't?"
"Basically, yeah."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." I laughed. "You can't just go gay! It isn't like flicking a switch, you idiot."
"I didn't say I was gonna go gay!" Howard exclaimed.
"Seemed like it! Howard, you don't have to please me. I love you and I want you to be happy, that's my thing."
"Vince, how are we supposed to work through this?"
"We can forget it ever happened. It wasn't important." I said. "I can have anyone I want. I want you, but that's not worked out too well, so just go back to being normal, oblivious Howard, while I turn into a massive slut."
"I'd rather you not be a massive slut."
"Okay, massive slut not so much. Let me try and find a boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, yeah?"
"I can't forget this happened."
"Neither can I, but we just need to let it slide."
"You're in love with me!"
"Hard to believe, isn't? Me in love with you! Blasphemer!" I laughed. Howard smiled, but crossed his arms agitated.
"We can't talk about this anymore."
"It hurts too much."
"Yeah."
"Alright, boys?" Vector called up the steps towards us. "You doing okay?"
"Yeah, we're fine," I replied, with a large grin.
"Cool. D'you know that Zac Efron's younger brother is gay?"
Harumph
Zac Efron's younger brother is actually gay :')
I have a huge crush on Zac Efron...
xx