Episode 9

"Last time, on Total Drama Island! The fans decided Michael's fate – too bad Trent couldn't just come out and say it! Izzy soon broke up with him and began flirting with Noah. Michael and Bridgette hooked up (like we all didn't see that one coming?). Geoff and Courtney bonded over a shared hatred of Michael. Duncan revealed that he actually DOES care for Courtney, and that he does have a heart! Heather tried to get Noah and Izzy into her alliance so she can eventually vote off Michael, and Michael, meanwhile, got beat up by Geoff. When he woke up, though, he was an alternate person – Mason, the romantic who loved Gwen! In the end, Heather's plan pulled through, and Lindsay was voted off. In an effort to return Michael to his own regular self, Gwen, LeShawna, and I had 'Mason' voted off, in the process bringing Michael back to consciousness and getting rid of Mason for good. Yeah, it was a good episode because I got to punch the kid! What will happen next in this dramatic installment of Total Drama Island?" Chris asked in the recap.

Medical Tent

"Oh…" Michael groaned – yes, Michael, not Mason! Looking at his surroundings, he sighed. "Back here again?"

"No, Captain Obvious, you're at some great hospital back home." Michael turned towards the voice and saw a dirty blonde girl with green eyes, olive toned skin, and a light dusting of freckles on her nose. She was wearing ripped jeans, a black v-neck tee, a blue tank top, a red and blue loosened tie, and black converse, and was holding the book Notes From the Midnight Driver.

Michael sat up. "Really? I'm off that crappy island?"

"No, I was just being sarcastic."

Michael eyed the girl. "Not that I don't enjoy your presence, which, actually, I don't, but who the hell are you?"

"I'm cranky! I don't wake up until twelve, but that dumbass Chris made me watch you!"

"Well, I'm so sorry."

"Really?"

"No, I was just being sarcastic."

"Great. Now can you go and leave me alone?"

"Yeah, and leave a sarcastic anti-social? Just tell me who you are."

She sighed. "I'm Holly Martin. An intern here."

"There are interns here?"

"No, dumbshit, the challenges just magically get tested and set up themselves."

"Wow. Nice book you're reading. I'd guess you're smart and bit of a rebel? You're Laurie."

"Nice observation, Alex."

"Touché. What time is it?"

"It is seven a.m. Go to the damn mess hall already, okay? Just leave me alone."

Michael got up and walked out. "Okay, Holly the intern. I will. But I promise you that I will see you again, just to irritate you." And as Holly Martin rolled her eyes, Michael made a mental note to tell Noah that he'd found the female him.

Forest

"Yo, Chris man, are you sure that this is safe?"

Chris sighed. "Yes, Jack, I'm sure. Now just shoot Melanie with a paintball."

Jack was wearing black jeans and a white sweater, and he was holding a green paintball gun; Melanie wore a black shirt ending right before her belly button, short jeans, and black sandals. "But, Chris –" Jack began.

"Jack! Shoot her, or the two of you don't get paid!"

"Just shoot me already, Jack!" whined Melanie. "I want to get paid!"

"But we're interns!" Jack complained. "We don't even get paid!"

"Just test the damn challenge!" Chris exclaimed.

Jack sighed. He shot Melanie with a paintball, and she screamed "OUCH!" as she went crashing to the ground.

Chris and Jack looked over her. "Hmm, seems safe enough," Chris said as Melanie twitched in pain.

Jack sighed. "I could've tested that. I can't feel pain."

"You should've mentioned that before poor Melanie here got hurt."

Jack face palmed. He had, several times. But Chris was just as lousy a boss as he was a host to the campers.

Melanie struggled up to her feet to see Chris heading to the mess hall. "Are we still getting paid?" Melanie called after him.

Mess Hall

Noah sighed. "No, Izzy, for the millionth time, a pit bull is not some sort of angel bull. How would you even get that?"

"Well, Noah, it just makes sense! God, sometimes you're so silly, Noah!" Izzy replied, tickling his chin. Noah laughed nervously,

Confessional

"This is weird. It's like Izzy is flirting with me. And that is VERY scary." Noah said.

End

Meanwhile, Heather sat with Beth, who was still crying. "I miss Lindsay!" Beth complained.

Heather rolled her eyes. "Than why'd you vote her off?"

"Because you told me too!"

"Exactly."

"I don't get it."

Confessional

"Heather told me to vote off Lindsay because she was friends with Michael and Heather wants to vote off Michael. But Michael seems kind of nice! And now I miss Lindsay!" Beth said.

"Beth is the worst alliance member ever! Once I get Noah and Izzy under my thumb, she is so gone!" Heather said.

End

Killer Bass Table

Bridgette was fuming at Geoff. "I don't understand how you could just beat him up like that!" Bridgette said.

Hearing this, Katie ran over and said, "You beat Michael up? High five!"

Bridgette stormed away angrily than.

Confessional

"I can't believe that Michael kissed Gwen! I mean, Mason! But Michael is Mason… or is Mason Michael? Or maybe Mason is Michael pretending to not be Michael? Or Michael is Mason pretending to not be Mason? God, this is so confusing!" Bridgette exclaimed.

End

Geoff ran after her. "Wait, Bridge!"

"I don't want to speak to you!" she called back.

Geoff slumped down on a bench and was soon joined by Duncan. "Dude, Bridgette ain't interested," Duncan said harshly. "Especially after you beat up her boyfriend. Which, by the way, wasn't cool."

Confessional

"Don't judge me just because I did one nice thing for the surfer girl!" Duncan exclaimed.

End

Kiana and Tyler were making out while Courtney ranted to them. "Wow, I mean he did make that horrible and degrading plan, but he said that he'd wait forever just for me to hate him regularly. I think he might actually care about me! Not that I'd ever like him that way, but, you know."

Tyler stopped the kissing for a second. "Duncan? Have feelings? That is the funniest thing I ever heard! Nice one, Courtney!"

And than Courtney stalked off.

Outside the Mess Hall

Michael was just about to enter the mess hall for some breakfast when Chris similarly arrived. "How's your eye?" Chris jokingly asked Michael.

Michael laughed for a second before gesturing for Chris to come closer. "Come here, man! I have to tell you a secret!"

Chris suspiciously walked over. "What?"

Michael punched him in the face. "Do me a favor and don't wake my nurses up before twelve."

Chris really hated that boy.

Mess Hall

"It is such a good thing that Mason is gone for good!" Gwen exclaimed.

Cody nodded. "Yeah, I know!"

They had their date last night, walking along the beach and talking. Begrudgingly, Gwen had to admit that she'd actually had a really good time. "He was really creeping me out."

As if on cue, Michael walked in and sat next to Gwen. "Oh, fair maiden!"

Gwen face palmed. "Hi, Mason."

Cody was visibly upset. "Shouldn't you be Michael?"

Michael laughed. "I am, but I just couldn't resist torturing Gwen."

Gwen laughed. "Yeah, go away."

Confessional

"Cruel, making me think that he was still Mason! I'll get him back, you rest assured!" Gwen exclaimed.

"Not cool, Michael! That Mason guy better not come back, or I'll use my super-cool Cody skills and make him back off!" Cody exclaimed.

End

Mess Hall

Chris walked in with a bruised eye. He glared at Michael as the teen kissed Bridgette and sat down next to her. "Good morning, campers!"

Chef grumbled. "Ain't nothing good about it! Damn intern brought me the wrong meat!"

"Chef, I'm in the middle of something here."

"Yeah, but couldn't you have hired an intern that ain't lazy? For damn's sake, they work for free!"

"CHEF!"

"Yeah, whatever."

Chris was about to begin when his cell phone rang. "Hello?… Yeah… Award show?… Host?… You bet! I'll be there ASAP!"

"What was that about?" Noah asked suspiciously.

"I've just been asked to host an award show!" Chris explained. "I'm leaving right now!"

Chef grumbled again. "Does that mean I'm in charge of the damn challenge?"

"HA!" Chris exclaimed. "I'd only leave you in charge of a drill sergeant challenge – like we'd ever have one of those! I'll have one of the interns host the challenge." Chris turned to the campers. "Forest, now!"

Confessional

"If Holly Martin is hosting this challenge, than things just got like fifteen million percent funnier." Michael said.

End

Forest

The campers arrived in the forest, where an intern familiar to Michael was waiting. "Told you we'd meet again," Michael told her.

Holly rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Your challenge is blah, blah, blah, deer costumes, and paintball guns, shoot other team's deer. Team with most paint loses. I'm out."

Jack and Melanie began handing out the equipment. "You need to stay, Holly! You're hosting the challenge!"

Holly sighed lazily. "Jack, special mission from the boss. You're in charge. Now I'm going to go read this book."

Michael whispered to Noah, "It's the female you."

Noah turned to tell Izzy this, but she was gone. He and Michael turned and saw Izzy running towards Holly. "IZZY!" Michael and Noah simultaneously screamed, but it was too late. Izzy jumped up on Holly's shoulders and started pointing.

"LOOK! TREES! BUGS! BEARS! SQUIRRELS WRESTLING!" Izzy exclaimed.

Holly crankily pushed Izzy off of her shoulders. "Weird psycho girl, those squirrels aren't wrestling."

Confessional

"Than what were the doing?" Izzy asked. As it dawns on her, she starts to giggle. "Ha, little baby squirrels. Cute like Noah's scrawny arms!"

End

Courtney asked, "Uh, yeah, Jack? What exactly is the challenge?"

Jack stood up. "Each team will be split into hunters and deer. The hunters on one team will try to shoot the deer on the other team with paintball guns. The team with the most paint on them will lose."

Courtney nodded. "Thanks! How do you decide who is what?"

The other intern, Melanie, handed her a list. "I forget things a lot, so he made this list!"

Courtney studied it:

SG Hunters: Michael, Beth, Izzy, Owen, LeShawna

SG Deer : Gwen, Heather, Noah, Cody

KB Hunters: Geoff, Bridgette, Harold, Katie

KB Deer: Duncan, Courtney, Kiana, Tyler

"And now…" Jack began, "The challenge… starts!"

"WAIT!" Michael called. "How am I going to fire this gun with one hand in a cast?"

Jack shrugged. Melanie suggested, "Put the gun in a cast too?"

All the deer than ran into the forest. As they ran into the forest, Duncan began to complain. "Crap! Why am I a deer?"

LeShawna jokingly shot at him. "Cause no one trusts you with a real gun, and these are almost as dangerous!"

Duncan sighed. "I get sent to Juvie ONCE for carrying a gun!"

As he turned around, Courtney came running into him. "AAH!" they both screamed as they tumbled down onto the ground. When they came back up, the two of them were stuck.

Michel couldn't resist laughing. "HA! THAT IS FREIKING HILARIOUS!" To Harold, he said, "You know, because the two of them don't get along very well."

Harold eyes him suspiciously. "Didn't you punch me during the awake-a-thon?"

Flashback!

Michael sits stroking Izzy's hair. Harold said, "You know, hair is just –" Michel punches him, knocking him out.

"No," Michael answered.

Izzy quickly ran through. "GUYS! TWO SQUIRRLES ARE DOING LAUNDRY!"

Harold said, "Where? Squirrels!" Then he ran off.

"Hey, Izzy," Michael said.

"Hey, Michael!" She was smiling.

"We're still friends, right?"

She nodded. "Best friends! You, Noah, and me. Nothing could come between us!"

Confessional

"Except maybe me!" Heather said.

End

"Come out, come out, Tyler!" Owen called.

Hearing a slight twitch, Owen turns around and starts firing – and ends up hitting Gwen and Cody while they were about to kiss for the first time.

Getting an angry glare from Cody, Owen awkwardly said, "Yeah, so I'll just… go… now…"

Confessional

"This is really not fair! How come Cody gets his dream girl?" Owen asked.

End

"Noah, you are just the CUTEST deer ever!" Katie squealed.

Noah rolled his eyes. "And you're the cutest hunter ever."

"EEK! You think I'm cute! How cute do you think I am?"

Noah sighed; she was totally oblivious to his lack of interest and sarcasm. "Stunningly gorgeous."

Before Katie could continue gushing, Geoff appeared and started shooting Noah, causing him to run off. Katie turned angrily to Geoff. "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

Geoff stared at her weirdly. "Because that's our challenge…?"

Confessional

"Geoff really babies Noah. I kind of feel bad for the little guy." Kiana said.

End

Camp

Michael was running through the camp, looking for his target. He checked the medical tent, and there she was. Just sitting there. It was hard work, but he steadied his gun on his arm and than pulled the trigger.

What followed was this: "OH, WHAT THE ****! WHAT ************* ***** COULD BE SUCH AN ******* THAT THEY ******* JUST SHOOT ME WITH A **** PAINTBALL WHEN I'M ******* READING?"

Holly Martin glanced up. Michael waved before running away.

Forest

"Is that Heather?" Bridgette asked Harold.

Harold nodded. "Why?"

Bridgette carefully aimed and shot. Each one connected.

(ELSEWHERE)

Duncan and Courtney, meanwhile, were still stuck together. "Come on, princess! Let's make the most out of being stuck together!"

Courtney kicked him in the kiwis. "NO!"

Over the loudspeaker, the teams heard Jack call, "Teams! Please return back to where we started the challenge!"

Duncan, cringing on the ground, whimpered, "How the hell are we going to move that far?"

Courtney spied LeShawna passing by. "LeShawna! Please help us!"

LeShawna looked at Courtney stuck to the cringing Duncan. She laughed before going on.

(ELSEWHERE)

When Michael saw his girlfriend, the two ran towards each other and kissed. Unfortunately, it was cut short by a vindictive intern who shot Michael with her own paintball gun. That intern, of course, was a fuming Holly Martin.

As Michael lay down on the ground, Jack and Melanie inspected the contestants:

Noah and Heather were covered while Cody and Gwen were partially covered.

Duncan, Courtney, Kiana, and Tyler were spotless except for a small mark on Tyler's tracksuit.

"YAY!" screamed Melanie. "The Screaming Gophers win!"

Jack face palmed. "Wrong team, Melanie!"

"So do the Killer Grips win?"

"Who are the Killer Grips?"

"I don't know, it's my line!"

"What?"

"Never mind!"

Jack sighed. "The winners of the challenge are the Killer Bass! Screaming Gophers, I will see you at the campfire pit at ten!"

Cabins

"I say that we vote off LeShawna!" Heather exclaimed.

"But LeShawna is so nice!" Beth reasoned.

Heather shook her head at her teammate's incompetence.

Meanwhile…

"So, whom should we vote for?" Michael asked.

"I have an idea…" began Noah.

Campfire Pit – 10 P.M.

Holly, Jack, and Melanie were waiting for the Screaming Gophers. "So," began Holly, "You brats get your fortunes read! Here are the votes:

1 for LeShawna…

2 for LeShawna…

1 for Owen…

3 for LeShawna…

2 for Owen…

3 for Owen…

4 for Owen…

4 for LeShawna…"

LeShawna and Owen waited nervously, because the last vote could determine their fates.

After Holly hadn't read it in a while, Jack discovered her sleeping. He pried the last vote from her hand and said, "1 for Michael!"

LeShawna was confused. "But that still leaves a tie between me and Owen!"

Melanie nodded. "LeFonda, you and Lawrence are eliminated together!"

"WHAT?" Gwen yelled, clearly upset at the elimination of her friend.

LeShawna patted her shoulder. "It'll be alright, girl. Just stick with the tough kids, okay?" Looking at Michael, she said, "Now you watch over her, especially if there is boy trouble!" Michel nodded.

Owen was crying. "I'M GOING TO MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH!" he bawled, and everyone huddled for a group hug before LeShawna and Owen boarded the Boat of Losers.

"Dramatic, right? Well, we can only promise you that next time will be even more dramatic, on Total Drama Island!" Jack said, closing the show.