I Don't Get The Magic
A story of two sisters, and how one conversation changed everything. Lily side of realizing that she likes James, and why it would have never happened without her sister. Oneshot. Please read and review.
"what's it like?"
"excuse me?" Lily was sitting on the bar stool eating some midnight cereal when her sister came down making her normal hatful comments.
"why cant you just magically make the cereal appear in your room rather than coming down and ruining the kitchen with your-your freakiness."
Lily just sighed, after six years of her sister's hatred, she was quite used to the sloppy insults. But just because the insult were nearly always the same and not well put together didn't mean they didn't hurt just as bad.
Petunia had her back to Lily getting a bowl from the cupboard. " I probably could have, but just because I can-" she paused not really wanting saying thing to upset her sister anymore. "use my abilities" she said carefully, "doesn't mean I want to all the time."
Her sister froze and in gentler voice that lily hasn't heard directed to her in years Petunia asked, "what it's like?"
"what?" Lily asked, thinking she misunderstood her sister.
"what's Hogwarts like? And the magic? And transfiguration? You talk about that class a lot."
Lily nearly choked, her sister always messed up on her school name, if she even said it at all, and she never paid any attention to what Lily would tell her parents.
"please. Just tell me, just this once." Petunia almost whispered. This was one of those rare moments that sometimes happened over the last six years, where the two of them were almost talking as if they were sisters and best friends again. But normally for those moments to happen, there was never any sign or thought about magic.
"well school is castle. But it's like a normal boarding school, only instead of having competitions between different school, there are four different houses inside the school that compete." Lily was trying to describe the castle to be as mugglish as possible. "there's a great hall where we sit with our houses and eat."
"tell me everything Lily, the magic too. I want to hear about the magic." Petunia turned around finally, she looked different. Older. Her face seemed to stretch and she looked warn out and tried. "Please."
"The stair cases move." Lily said suddenly, "You have to be careful when you get on them or you might end up in the wrong place. Also the paintings on the walls, all the walls are covered in them, can move and can talk to you." Lily offered, hoping that her sister wasn't going to blow up or get mad. "The actual classes are hard. We have Potions which I guess is like chemistry on crack."
Petunia actually laughed, "on crack?"
Lily feeling a lot more at ease with her sister smiled, "yeah. I once turned my hair purple because I leaned over the fumes of one of the potions."
Lily continued to tell Petunia everything about Hogwarts, her classes, her friends and enemies, every little detail. She wasn't sure how long it's been, but she didn't care, she talking and laughing with her sister again.
"Tunie, can I tell you a secret?"
"yeah." She smiled.
"you know the boy I told you about."
"James. Yes?" her sister face seemed to darken a little but Lily thought it was just because of how Lily was portraying James. She was being very unfair and didn't say anything about his good parts, even though even Lily had to admit, he had many.
"I've been unfair. You see, he's really a very nice guy if" she paused, she explained all about school, but stayed away from the war. Her sister didn't need that part of the wizarding world. She didn't need the part that had the whole community at each other throats, and that old predigests seem like they would never die. "You're a nice person." She finished lamely. "He's strong, a good qudditch player, smart, brave, gallant, funny even." Lily could hardly believe herself, she meant just to say that James wasn't all bad, but she was telling her sister the realization she was even afraid to confess to her self.
"you like him don't you?" again Lily didn't notice her sister's darkening face.
Blushing Lily laughed, "I think so. I don't know. He gets me so mad, but then he can also make me laugh. Sometimes I don't want to laugh so I end up walking away, but—" Lily started to giggle. "I do. I like him." Then as if it just registered, "shit, Tunie I like him. Oh Merlin! What am I to do?"
"tell him."
"no I can't. I made such a spectacle out of hating him, I can't just suddenly stop." Lily then stopped, "wait, no I can." Lily smiled, her sister just showed her how. Petunia always made her hatred for Lily widely known, but just tonight she took it all back, easily.
"good. You can have your stupid little freak fairy tale." Like a brick wall, her old sister, and the one she had for the last six years was back.
"Tunie?" Lily asked confused.
"Stop Lily. Just stop. I have to get back to real life."
"this is real life. I'm apart of it, so therefore you can be too."
Petunia's voice was softer again, "maybe for you, that's real life for you. You get the magic and the perfect life. But not me. I can't have the magic. I have to get back to my real life." Slowly she pulled out a ring, Lily gasped. "He purposed and I said yes. But I don't know if I'll truly be happy. I can't seem to wear it, I keep taking it off."
"Tunie" Lily started but he sister didn't stop talking.
"I've always wanted a prince. And Lord knows he's not one. He's not James Potter. He's not brave, or gallant. He thinks he's funny, but sometimes I don't get his humor."
"Petunia." Lily said forcefully. "do you love him?"
she just looked up, "I don't know. I thought I did. But then he gave me the ring. And that would wash all my dreams away. I want a prince, but I'm getting the jester."
"you don't have to." Lily said reaching out for her sister's hand, but she pulled away. "you'll find your prince, I know you will." Lily said earnestly.
"No!" Petunia almost yelled it, the normal hateful and spiteful Petunia was slowly coming back. "I'm not you. Things for you just seem to work out. You get the magic, the prince, and the castle. I wanted to hear about it just once, just so I fully know what I'm missing."
"it not all good, Tunie!" Lily was close to tears, she wished she would have told her everything. About the war, and deaths and the fear that Lily herself was in the middle of.
"No! Don't tell me the bad. Keep it good. I need it to be good. I need something good to think about."
"you can still tell him no."
she laughed at her statement, "no I can't. He loves me, what more can I ask for? I'm not you, I don't get the magic. Besides, "she slipped the ring on her finger, and dropped her voice back to it's normal scowl, "magic is really only for freaks anyways."
"Tunie." Lily whispered.
"get away from me freak! I'm done with you."
Five years later:
She stood in the doorway; a sleeping child in a basket was in entry hall not knowing or remember anything; while her world seemed to be coming down. Petunia shut the door behind her and sunk to the floor, a single letter balled up in her hand. She thanked God that Vernon wasn't home; she couldn't stand to cry in front of him over her.
Her own son was crying from his crib upstairs but for once she didn't rush to him, she just sat there crying too. They were gone. Dead. Her sister, her baby sister was dead. She couldn't help the tears.
She never truly hated her sister. Just the world that wouldn't let her in; yet still accepted her sister so freely. Her sister offered once, long ago for her to come into her world, said that she belonged there because Lily belonged there, but she knew that even if she agreed she would be nothing but guest that got to watch the magic work it's will on the blessed ones, leaving the others up to dry with nothing.
No, turning her back on it she could pretend that there was no magic. Life was suppose to happen just the way her life worked out. She had a loving husband that she learned to love, and big beautiful baby boy and a nice home in a good neighborhood. There was nothing more. No such things as princes on white horses. But of course when nobody was home, and the baby was asleep, she would dream of the wonderful magical life her sister led, where she didn't have think or care about anything important, because the magic made it all perfect. It was her secret daydream, one that no one could know about. But now it too died. Her sister was killed, murdered. The magic didn't protect her. And now her baby sister had died. The tears came faster. She was right from the beginning there was no such thing as magic; Lily proved that with her death, it was just a stupid little game that her freak of sister played.
But still, she had seen the magic, seen her sister turn things into other things—no. It didn't matter, she was just a freak, and now she was dead freak. Good, now there was one less, or really two less if you count her husband, which could trespass in her perfect life. She stood up and put her nose in the air but at that moment the new child in the basket started to cry. She stood there staring at it for a moment, before she stooped to pick it up. He was so light, compared to her son, and his eyes, they were just like Lily's. No matter what she did she couldn't get him to stop crying, but then she couldn't really do anything to help him, every time she saw his eyes she saw her now dead sister. Sighing she placed him back in the basket, trying to ignore his cries.
This was too much there were to crying babies in the house, and all she wanted to do was curl up and die. Her sister was gone. Actually gone.
Rubbing her eyes she took her sister's child and placed him in the closet, there his screams were muffled. She then went up stairs and soothed her own son.
By the time she was down stairs again the screaming had stopped, peaking into the closet under the stairs, she saw her sister's son asleep, and bottle she didn't give him in his hand.
In flash she shut the door. He was just like them. She would never escape the magic that rejected her. Life sometimes was just cruel.