Thanks a lot for all of your lovely reviews!

I apologize profusely for the long wait, but I am suffering from a definitely gruesome case of writers block. So far I've managed to at least keep writing, even though it's with RP's and not the classical stories. A few short one-shots were the result as well.

I don't have much new really, I just felt sorry for letting you wait so long for another chapter. So now you get another one entailing a merge, hope it lifts your spirits!

Fifth reviewer: Dena Gray, may you feel worshiped!

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Starscream couldn't bear listening to the gruff voice any longer. A quick look to his wing mate had confirmed his fears. The autobot had just denied the sparkling of any care and for a trine that was all it took to fully adopt the little one and never give it back.

Nodding defeatedly he allowed their wing brother to be called and teleport them out of the autobots med bay, silently crying over the crashed hopes he had had for the future. Starscream had been so certain that the warrior would make him stay to claim his rights, he had certainly appeared like that would have to be his intention in any situation, but maybe Thundercracker was indeed right and a sparking merge didn't reveal all of a mechs personality. It wasn't fair and somehow he felt lost and alone deep down in his spark. But he shouldn't be thinking like this, it was after all selfish to only be considering ones own needs instead of those that mattered now and those weren't his, but the little sparklings now connected to his spark.

They materialized in an empty cave, one of their many hideouts and decided to stay there for the first orn of his carrying. Starscream grew more and more restless in the few hours he wasn't recharging and the three joors he spent recharging daily were as unsatisfying as they could possibly be and soon enough they had to return to the Nemesis after feigning some reports about searching for one or another new energy source failed to satisfy their leader any longer than ten orns in total.

After spending orns of two joor shifts back in their quarters at the Nemesis they were eager to get away from it again and began rejoining battles and licking their wounds in several different hideouts to confuse the other decepticons and keep them away from the carrying seeker. Yet after it became apparent that Megatron had indeed noticed that the air commander on the battle field was a far cry from the real one and only a somewhat random personification by a repainted Skywarp, nineteen orns of Starscreams carrying had passed in that routine and they had to leave.

Once the twentieth orn started Starscream wouln't be safe if he was anywhere but with the seekers of his trine or the mech who had played a part in the sparking merge. Starscream insisted to stay close to the Ark and so they moved continuously, always wary of autobot patrols and by now also expecting to be hunted down on Megatrons orders as well. Sometimes they were still called onto the battle field as back up and they worried each time if they'd return from it at all. Coming up with the plan of claiming that Starscream had been affected by a special disease like seeker rust had taken them an orn in and off itself, but the silver tyrant appeared to have bought it.

Thundercracker and Skywarp had divided Starscreams usual workload fairly between them at the Nemesis so that one of them could keep him company, while the other was on duty and they kept to that even after leaving the ship, seeing as the air commander himself was barely able to do anything other than recharging, tiring them out by multiple merges and trying to run off to the Ark to get the energy his spark craved.

It was astounding how frequently Starscream managed to escape the hold of his trine, taking off in the dark to seek out the red autobot warrior, luring him out into the night with distant spark flares, which only he could feel due to the nature of a slumbering connection left behind by the sparking merge. It was so feeble and unused that it was hard to concentrate on it enough to call for the warrior, but Starscream managed it more often then not. One of those nights was tonight and it had taken him almost a joor to put Skywarp into recharge so that he could leave the cave unsupervised to hunt the real craving of his spark. As he caught the first glimpse of the red chassis, he jumped for him instantly and clang onto the mech for dear life and his sanity, which he feared loosing if he continued to stay so far away from him any longer.

He seldom felt like this and he didn't understand just why he felt like it from time to time, but every now and then he would leave his quarters, sneak out of the Ark and return at dawn with scratched plating and just a messed up paint job in general. Memories of such nights were filled by a certain seeker and the heat of another spark. Ironhide tried not to delve into those memories too deeply, afraid of what he might find... It was almost as if his spark put a lock onto them, because every time he tried to access them, he saw the scared face of the air commander and the optics that held so much pain that he couldn't understand how anyone could deny the oh so needed comfort to him. Yet he himself had been the one to do so and he felt that he could admit to himself, that he was a right aft-head for letting himself be thrown out of the med bay without putting up more of a fight.

It was one of these nights again and he found himself sitting silently at a hillside, not remembering how he had gotten there at all.

The sound of an angry engine caught his attention right before he was attacked from the back. Someone had jumped onto him, catching him mid-turn and pushing him to the ground with the momentum of the sudden movement. Smooth hands ghosted over his chassis hastily, certain in the knowledge of where to tease by pushing or stroking just right. Soon wires were clasped in his digits securely, even though Ironhide couldn't remember moving his hands at all. Desperate clicks and whiny sobs reached his audio receptors as he was hit by a spark flare so strong it was almost encompassing his whole being, lulling him in and pulling him forwards all at the same time. Wings in his hands told him all his processor needed to know.

"Please...please...." The words were whispered over and over again, more insistent each time.

It wouldn't even have taken Starscreams begging, while glossa and mandibles deftly worked the warriors neck joint. Rolling them over he seized the air commanders cockpit into his right hand, closely feeling the burning heat flowing off of it in waves. The seeker screamed in a mixture of agony and desire, tugging him closer urgently. Not about to deny Starscream anything right then was what prompted him to release the hold he'd had on his chestplates since the first flare of the seekers spark. While his own chestplates parted he saw the air commanders cockpit splitting in half. The lower part gently sank down into the seekers chassis, while the upper one readily retracted, turning to the side and almost cradling the seekers spark casing in a soft dark orange hue, contrasting it nicely against the other internal systems. Almost as soon as the cockpit glass had started settling into the retracted position, Starscreams spark casing had opened, revealing the flaring and trashing spark inside. Lowering his torso Ironhide felt their sparks flaring as one after a bare astrosecond, it was incredible how fast Starscreams spark had adjusted to his pulse and frequency. Yet the air commander still wasn't happy with him, sharp digits scratched all over his back, almost tugging the plating at his seams apart only to reach more of him. Wires so deep in his chassis that he had never felt another touch them had him screaming as well and he finally opened his spark casing with both sensitive platings still resting close, rubbing at each other with each movement. Pushing down on the seeker with his weight, he pressed their sparks together tightly. Starscream moaned in happiness at his actions, yet wailed at the slow progress of their merge only to have his sounds devoured right off of his dermaplates.

Urging his spark to merge slowly took a lot of restraint on Ironhides part, but he did it anyway, because he wanted to enjoy it. It wasn't often that the seeker came to him for these special merges in which he always felt energy coursing throughout all of his systems right before the anticipation of the merge drove him from his quarters. These merges were important for them both and most of all the growing sparkling as Ratchet had explained to him, right before they had found the med bay to be empty... He may have run from him, but needed the energy and Ironhide never held any of it back once they were merging, always intending to give him as much as the seeker needed to last another orn or two, even though it saddened him to let him go, knowing he wouldn't return before he craved more.

Moving his hands over the wings in languid, wide sweeps had the seeker calming down as much as he could. Arching into the caresses, his spark flaring a little less aggressively, yet still demanding more. Starscream kissed back hungrily, licking at his mandibles and stroking their glossas together, while twirling his digits around multiple wires at once, only to reach out to sensor nodes and main boards previously hidden by them. Ironhide noticed the seekers heated chassis reaching critical limits at multiple places and decided to take the pace up, complying with the demands of his own spark. Gently their cores met and the instant harmony that swamped through them pushed them into the total bliss of overload almost instantly.

Hours later Ironhide onlined to an empty spot of flattened grass next to himself and surprisingly enough it was still warm as he laid his hand on it. Starscream couldn't have been gone long he concluded and looked around himself in search for the seeker.

He only wanted to talk to him damn it! Why did he always run from him? Did he truly think that all the transmissions had been supposed to be threats when Ironhide had only wanted to talk to him? Why didn't he respond to a single one of them? Why did Megatron claim that the air commander wasn't even staying at the Nemesis anymore that one time he had gotten Optimus to question the silver mech on the seekers whereabouts?

Low bickering reached his audios and shortly afterwards two engines sounded as if they were nearly overstraining themselves. Jumping to his feet the warrior programming had him approach the sounds stealthily, no matter how hard his spark fought to rush him. It was a little way down the hill and through the forest to a small clearing, which he followed, only a few hundred yards in total, yet it felt more like a distance far closer to that between earth and Cybertron, through which Ironhide felt himself grow concerned, worried and angry all at the same time. Breaking through the last line of trees, all care forgotten, he spotted Starscream struggling against his wing-mates, who were hovering in mid-air, their thrusters turned up to full capacity, yet still not managing to drag the air commander into the air with them.

"Help! Help me! Save-" Was all Starscream managed before screeching in denial at the fact that his own feet had just left the ground, his wingmates were slowly succeeding in dragging him away. Reacting instantly Ironhide tackled Starscream to the ground, throwing Thundercracker and Skywarp off balance. He cradled the scared and by now crying seeker, who was clicking like a sparkling in need of protection, to his chestplates and felt him plastering his chassis into his side, burrowing his head against his left shoulder. Luckily that left the warriors right hand free and he seized the riffle he had summoned from sub-space, insistently drawing the shaking Starscream closer with his left arm.

A barrel pointing directly at the blue seekers faceplate, had him raising his hands in surrender, with a frown on his features.

"Why are you protecting him? We're still enemies." Thundercracker reminded him and Ironhide didn't even need to think before he snarled back, clutching the air commander he feared to loose even tighter.

"Cahn' ya tell 'e's sca'ed?!"(1) He questioned indignantly and was surprised by the response that evoked.

"He's been far worse at your questionable 'care'!" The blue seeker shouted back, enraged beyond reason, which was screaming for attention within his processor.

"Whacha meahn w'th tha'?!"(2) Ironhide growled back right before he saw Thundercracker smirk. Realizing his mistake didn't do him any good as he felt Skywarps hand on the back of his unprotected neck joint, pressing onto a button that was used by medics to offline heavily damaged patients for treatment.

He onlined in the med bay, with a bickering and cranky medic as his only companion. Apparently the twins had found him on patrol, lying in a forest not far from their regular routes...alone. Once more he had failed to see reason and talk to the air commander before his spark took over at his chassis sensory input, created by being so readily jumped.

Starscream was furious with his trine as they managed to hurl him home or to what served as their temporary home that orn. They had never caught him sneaking out before and he knew that it would become only more difficult from now on. Time passed faster than Starscream had ever experienced it and the fact that Megatron hadn't tried to force them back was astounding. And even though he was still suspicious of them, as Starscream started to appear in battles as himself once more, after his thirtieths orn had passed, transmissions with the Nemesis became easier and less strained. They settled into another routine and twelve more orns went by relatively without incident and while Megatron had called them back to the Nemesis repeatedly, they still didn't comply. Starscream wasn't affecting others anymore, but that didn't mean that others wouldn't notice his changed state if they encountered him out of battle, so they kept their distance.

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(1) = Can't you tell he is scared?!

(2) = What do you mean with that?!