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The Pleasure of Your Company (Chapter 3)
Eddie felt the world turn upside down. She lay sprawled on the upturned table. She wished she could see her partner's face and gain strength from the light in his eyes but she only saw darkness and fireflies in her field of vision.
"Fight, Eddie."
She heard Jamie and his voice jarred her back to reality. And reality said that if she didn't make a move, she and Jamie were going to die at the hands of these maniacs. Everything came back to her. Eddie groped under her body. She knew exactly where it was. A gun taped to the bottom of the now upturned coffee table. She pried it off the table desperately and twisted her body till she was on her back. She saw Singer on his way back to her, holding a knife. Instinctively, survival at the top of her list of things to do today, Eddie pulled the trigger. She didn't see where the bullet hit but she saw Singer drop to the floor. Eddie got up, gun still trained on the unmoving body of Jack Singer. His eyes were open, the knife still firmly placed in his cold, dead grasp. Seeing that their employer was no longer hiring, the two goons scampered out of the apartment. Eddie didn't give chase.
Her mind was solely focused on the figure slumped on the kitchen chair. She staggered towards Jamie.
"Jamie," she called as she reached him. Jamie's head was bowed, chin touching his chest, his eyes closed. Her hand flew to his midsection where it was slick with blood.
"Oh no no, Jamie" she cried. She lunged for the knife and pried it out Singer's cold dead fingers. She got it and got sick at the sight of the thin film of blood on it. She cut the duct tape to free Jamie's wrists and cut the tape docking his body to the chair. Jamie slid off the chair, all force from his body gone. Eddie supported his upper body and eased him down to the floor. She used both hands to staunch the wound in his mid-section. She kept calling his name. She let go of one bloody hand and started slapping Jamie's colourless face.
"Jamie! Open your eyes! Jamie!" She screamed in between sobs. She was praying, no begging to God that when blood circulates back to his brain Jamie would regain consciousness. Her prayer was answered. Jamie stirred.
"Eddie…" he groaned.
"Jamie, oh Jamie," she sucked in her tears, relieved but aware that they were far from being out of danger.
"Did he-?" Jamie asked.
"He's dead. I shot him. We're OK, we're OK," she said, giving him assurance.
"Uh," Jamie breathed out in pain. A spasm passed through his body. Textbook first aid said that Jamie was going into shock. Eddie felt Jamie tremble. She heard the sirens.
"They're coming, Jamie. Help's coming,"
Eddie kept holding on to his wound. Eddie had lost her tears. Her mind was now singularly focused on getting Jamie through this. Jamie grabbed Eddie's hand holding in his insides.
"Yes, you hold on, Reagan," Eddie encouraged her partner.
Two patrolmen burst into the apartment. Detective Danny Reagan was with them. He got on his knees next to his brother.
"What happened, Janko?" Danny Reagan asked in utter frustration.
"He was stabbed," Eddie said, gesturing with a nod to the knife lying on the floor. Eddie saw the look on Detective Reagan's face when he saw at the knife. The detective's face crumbled in anguish.
"How long ago?"
"Two minutes."
Eddie hoped that her mind was not playing tricks on her but she actually felt that it had been an eternity for her in the wretched apartment.
"I need a bus!" Detective Reagan yelled to the officers.
"Done, Detective," one of them informed him.
"Danny, you came," Jamie whispered.
"Yeah. I'm here, kid," Danny Reagan said, touching Jamie's sweat slicked face.
"Jesus, Danny. It hurts so bad…"
"Detective, do something!" Eddie couldn't help herself from panicking. For every spasm in Jamie's body, Eddie felt it. Danny shook his head, as if shaking a bad memory.
"Danny... ugh."
"Listen to me, kid. You feel pain. I know it hurts like hell but that is the only thing telling you that you're alive. You keep breathing and I'm gonna be right here. Eddie and I are gonna take good care of you, ya hear?"
"Sure thing, Danny," Jamie replied. And then his grip loosened completely and his hand just rested on his still chest.
"Jamie!" Detective Reagan half-yelled, half-wailed.
"No, no, no," Eddie said, a litany of desperation.
"Sir, ma'am. Please step away," a deep voice said from behind them.
"We're going to help him."
Danny Reagan half crawled away from Jamie's side and Eddie just slid her way out of the space needed by the paramedics. The experts swooped down on Jamie Reagan like hungry vultures. They cut up his shirt, exposing his alabaster white skin marred by a clean two inches long thin marking in red and black. Jamie was beautiful even then, Eddie thought. Eddie didn't take her eyes off her partner until they took him away out of her sight.
Eddie was transported to the hospital on a different emergency vehicle. As she alighted from the back door of the ambulance, she was offered a wheelchair but she declined. She saw her partner being wheeled in.
"His breathing is shallow," one of the paramedics announced. Eddie saw Jamie's eyes, drawn to slits, recognition failing. Eddie reached out her hand, stealing a moment as the gurney passed by, and touched the tips of his fingers, a split second of contact that she needed before he went out her reach.
Oh God. Please let my partner live, Eddie prayed.
Eddie was brought into a room for check up. A nurse with neck length light blond hair approached her. She was smiling but her eyes bore anything but joy.
"Officer Eddie Janko, my name's Linda. And I'll be taking care of you."
The name rang a bell.
"Linda? You're Detective Reagan's wife. Jamie's sister-in-law."
"Yes, I am. You are Jamie's partner."
Eddie couldn't bottle it any longer.
"I - I did all this. I made this happen," she said, looking at the speckle of her partner's blood on her ivory yellow blouse.
"No. An evil, twisted man made this happen," Linda assured her as she cleaned Eddie's bleeding forehead, which she didn't notice she had and gave her stitches. Eddie also needed stitches for her split lower lips. Linda touched her ribs and Eddie gasped.
"Worst, you got broken ribs. Best, just some soreness. We're going to put you on bed rest for at least for at least 24 hours before you can step out of the hospital."
"OK,"
"Come on, let's get you cleaned up and changed."
"Thank you."
"No, thank you for being such a good patient. Jamie - " Linda said and stopped suddenly. Eddie felt emotion was rising in Linda's throat.
"Please go on. Tell me about Jamie."
"Jamie is a very difficult patient. Two years ago he was brought in, clearly traumatized and I had to do a check up on him. He was squirming and fidgeting and complaining all the way. He wanted to get up when I was taking his BP. He even yelled at me, I mean, I was just trying to help –"
Eddie felt better already. Linda had tears hanging to her eyes as she told her that. Little things about Jamie were beginning to creep into people's memory about him.
"At least he's not fidgeting now," Eddie blurted out. The moment she did it, she knew she crossed the line. But Linda stared at her for a moment and she started laughing. Eddie joined in and laughed until she'd got tears in her eyes.
"What's so funny?" Danny Reagan walked in on his wife and Eddie huffing.
"Nothing, Detective," Eddie said.
"Laughter is the medicine, Danny," Linda quipped.
"How's Officer Janko?"
"Blood pressure is elevated. She suffered concussions and needed a few stitches and sore ribs. We're keeping her for at least 24 hours to see if there are latent internal injuries."
"How's Jamie, Detective?" Eddie asked.
"He's in surgery. I'll keep you posted," Detective Reagan said and left.
"Thank you for letting me stay. I have a feeling that I'm OK …"
"No. You need this, Eddie."
"I want to see him when he wakes up."
"Well, Jamie had said he has always liked your company."
"He did."
"Yes. He did." Linda nodded, lost in another memory.
Eddie got herself cleaned up and wore a hospital gown. She got into her room and had visitors. Her sister came and Eddie updated her on their dad whom she visited last year. Eddie's sister laughed, not really caring. Then she left. The rest of the time was spent replaying the horrific incident at her apartment. It was a whirlwind where everything was just pain and humiliation. Then she remembered holding Jamie's limp body on the floor, holding on to his wound and begging him to open his eyes. That was not the way she wanted to touch him. Fear crept into her mind. She could not be with Jamie Reagan anymore. She had done enough damage.
"May I come in?"
It was Linda interrupting her lonesome thoughts.
"Hey."
"Jamie's awake. You can see if you want to."
"Yeah. But-"
Linda raised her eyebrows.
"What about the family?" Eddie asked, previously informed by Jamie himself about THE family in passing, just enough for her to get the idea of the family – the mandatory Sunday dinner where Jamie only missed the day his former partner Vinny was shot dead and he himself took one in the vest; the cemetery visits; the year-end week-long holiday; the derby race, the boys' camping trip; etc., etc. And all she had was a solitary visitor who left after five minutes.
"We all had our turn," Linda explained.
"Jamie asked for you."
"He did?"
"He wants to know if you're OK."
Eddie chuffed a short laugh. So typical of Jamie! She thought.
"How's he?"
"Chocful of the good stuff. But lucid."
"Is he being his usual difficult self?"
"Not yet."
Linda accompanied Eddie to Jamie's room, and the Reagans were standing all around, talking softly with worried expression on their faces. Eddie gave a respectful meek smile and nodded to them. She didn't feel like saying anything. The police commissioner Dad, whom she met on her first day on the job, whom also had come to talk to her briefly after she was checked in by Linda nodded to her I return. The others she automatically knew without ever having to meet them – the great grandpa, the DA elder sister, the nieces and nephews. She noticed there was no girlfriend or fiancé figure, so she figured out that Jamie is single for now. She felt like she was walking on a tightrope thinking that these people might begrudge her for having led their most beloved and cherished son to near death.
"It's OK," Linda said and opened the door for her. Once she was inside, Linda closed the door and Eddie had Jamie all to herself.
Eddie approached Jamie's bed both in fear and excitement. Fear to see him hurting, excited to see him alive.
"Hey," Eddie started. Jamie opened his eyes. He looked tired and his eyes didn't have the danger she always saw in them.
"Eddie?" Jamie whispered hoarsely, as if being awakened from stupor.
"Yeah, I'm here," Eddie touched her partner's hand which was resting on his wounded midsection and gently interlocked her fingers with his and laid their interconnecting hands on his body.
"You're OK," he rasped. Eddie nodded, overwhelmed with emotions.
"How are you feeling?" She let a tear escaped.
"That's the thing. I'm on a lot of drugs and I still feel sore."
"I'm so sorry. I'd never wish this to happen to you."
"No, Eddie. I'm in terrible pain but it's not your fault."
"It is. If only –"
"Ugh," Jamie gasped suddenly, as if suppressing a wave of pain.
"Are you OK?" Eddie asked. Jamie just grimaced. Eddie didn't wait. She poked her head out of the door and called Linda who was talking the DA sister.
"What's wrong?"
"Jamie, he seems to be in a lot of pain."
Linda took a look at the heart monitor and his charts and the things hanging by his bed.
"He just needs a stronger dose," Linda said and adjusted his IV.
"There you go. Are you OK, Jamie?"
"Thanks, Linda," Jamie managed to say to his sister-in-law.
"He will immediately fall asleep though, so don't worry. That comes with the drug."
"Can I be with him for a while, till he falls asleep?" Eddie asked hesistantly.
"Sure, take your time."
Linda left them. Jamie sought for her hand and Eddie gave in.
"Don't go just yet," Jamie said, apparently drifting away.
"I'm right here."
A few seconds later, Jamie's eyes closed and his grip loosened. The heart monitor beeped steadily. Eddie saw the rhythmic fall and rise of her partner's chest and was relieved.
"Now that you're asleep I want to tell you stuff I couldn't tell you before. I'll start with my Dad," Eddie paused.
"He got into drug dealing. So you can guess where I got that fancy car. And then, he went to prison. My mom, she left even before the drugs came. My sister and I weren't close, but she's on my contacts list."
Eddie looked at the ceiling to suck in her tears.
"You see, I'm a lot of trouble. I am trouble. You, Jamie; you and your perfect family, is a trouble magnet on your own. You don't need me in the equation. I will only hurt you."
Her tears fell freely now. She couldn't control the tremor in her voice.
"I'll take two weeks off. I'll go to my sister's. I mean, she's family. Then I'll come back when you come back and I'll ask to be reassigned to a new partner since you won't do it. I love this job but I can't see you get hurt because of me. We can say good bye then."
Eddie squeezed Jamie's hand for the last time and let go.
"I'm gonna wean myself off you."
Slowly she made her way back to her room, changed into her freshly laundried clothes and went out, not looking back.
To be continued…