A/N: AHHH! I know you're all DYING to know what happens next!
To elevenshoes: The reason why I've been updating so much these past few days is because #1 I'm trying to finish this story before 2011 starts and #2 My area was hit by a giant snow storm and I refuse to go out while the ground is still white.
-Fourth update of Dec. 28. posted at 3:31 pm EST
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or its character. I am however about to own a criminal record for killing my brother if he doesn't turn that damn music down.
Throughout our lives we have to make decisions. What should I have for lunch today, a ham and cheese sandwich or peanut butter and jelly? Should I go ahead and watch this TV show or should I study for my test? Should I go to Warped Tour although last year I got hit in the head with a shoe? Which girl should I chose to be with? That last question is the one Alex is currently faced with.
To give you a recap on everything that just literally happened five minutes ago: Paige came busting in here, told Alex not to propose to Sage, kissed her, and then told Alex that she loves her. Yeah, that's pretty much what happened in a nut shell. What is currently happening right now? Oh, well Paige is still here and so is Alex. But Alex is just looking at Paige, wide-eyed not saying anything. Alex has been in this same position for about two minutes now.
"Lexie, please say something," Paige pleads.
More silence. I don't know if all this silence is a good thing or a bad thing. I know Paige is freaking out.
"Alex, say something, please," Paige pleads again.
Alex shakes her head like she just got out of a trance or something.
"I think…. I think you should go," Alex tells Paige. She sounds unsure.
"What?"
Alex is nodding her head. "Yeah," she says shakily. "I think you should go."
Aw, my heart just broke. A tear runs down Paige's face as she looks at Alex with sad eyes.
"Ok," she says sadly.
Paige is leaving the room with her head hung down low and her shoulders slump. This is like the white version of the Trail of Tears. Beth has her arm around Paige as she walks her to the door. I turn my attention to Alex, who looks completely lost.
"Alex…"
"I'm going to be in my room," she says, without even looking at me.
Alex leaves the living room and goes upstairs. I hear the front door close and Beth walks into the living room. We're just looking at each other, neither one of us knows what to say.
"I… that…" I try talking.
"Yeah…" Beth says.
"What am I suppose to do?"
Beth shrugs her shoulders. "I think you did all that could be done. It's up to them now."
I nod my head. I stretch out hand to Beth. Beth takes my hand and hers and we go upstairs to our bedroom. I guess all we can do now is wait.
Hours Later:
Hhhhaaaauuuwwwnnn. Wow, that had to be the most epic yawn of mankind. I try to maneuver my body from Beth's arms. I stretch out my arms and my body and yawn again. I look at the clock and it reads one in the morning. Oo I LOVE waking up at one in the morning, NOT!
I slowly and carefully get out of the bed, not wanting to wake up Beth. I leave our room and creep down the hallway to Alex's room. Hey, her light is still on. I crack open the door. Alex is sitting on her bed and she looks totally spaced out. I open the door wider. Whoa, there are crumpled up sheets of papers everywhere on the floor. I pick up one of the sheets of paper and unfold it. Oh, she made a pros and cons list for both Paige and Sage. I don't have to pick up the rest to know they all say the same thing.
I look at Alex. She has winkles on her forehead and heavy bags under her eyes. I sit down on her bed next to her.
"How long have you been doing this?" I ask, pointing at the papers.
"What time is it?" she asks me, without even looking at me.
"One in the morning."
Alex sighs. "Aboot six hours."
"And have you made a decision?"
Alex turns her head and looks at me. "I don't know who to choose."
I place my arm around her shoulder. "Yes you do," I tell her. I point to her heart. "At least this part of you knows."
"What if I make a mistake?" she asks. "What if I pick the wrong person? What if I spend the rest of my life asking myself 'What if?'?"
I sigh and stand up. I'm standing in front of Alex and she looks up at me.
"Life is full of what ifs," I tell her. "No matter what decision we make in life we're always going to ask ourselves 'What if I had made the other decision?'"
"I don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking aboot that."
"There are two different kinds of 'what ifs'," I tell her while holding up two fingers. "There's the guilty 'what if' and then there's the 'what if' that one only thinks about once in a blue moon."
Alex is giving me a questioning look. "Ok I know it's late at night but I have no idea what that means."
"Alright take me and Beth for example," I start. "I always think about the 'what ifs' with us. What if she doesn't like the pancakes I make this morning? What if she decides she doesn't want to be a vet anymore? What if she decides to throw a shoe at me instead of a pillow the next time I say something stupid?"
Alex is shaking her head. "Jordan, those are not the same what ifs that I'm worrying aboot right now."
I kneel down in front of Alex. "Every now and then I ask myself , what if I hadn't gotten off my ass that day, went to Beth's house, and confess my undying love for her? What if she hadn't taken me back? Those are the 'what ifs' I'm talking about. Those are the 'what ifs' I rarely think about because I'm proud of the decision I made."
Alex is looking at me. She still looks lost.
"I'm still a bit lost with this whole thing," she admits.
I sigh and hang my head down. I pick my head back up and look at her.
"For the rest of your life you are going to have a 'what if' in the back of your mind," I tell her. "The question is which 'what if' are you rarely going to think about? What if you chose Paige or what if you chose Sage?"
Alex is nodding her head. I start nodding my head.
"You get what I'm saying now?" I ask.
Alex is nodding her head. "I think so," she says. "If I pick Sage am I going to think aboot what if I picked Paige for the rest of my life or if I pick Paige am I going to think aboot what if I picked Sage?"
By golly I think she's got it! I clap my hands.
"Exactly!" I exclaim. "Which one are you going to think about once in a blue moon? Choose the girl that's going to rarely make you ask yourself, 'What if?'."
Alex is nodding her head. "Ok," she says.
I stand up and start making my way to her door. I reach the doorway and turn around and look at Alex.
"And Alex," I start. "Don't think with this," I point to my head. "Think with this," I point to my heart.
"Always," she says.
I close her bedroom door and make my way back to my bedroom. I get in the bed and wrap my arms around Beth. A thought that rarely crosses my mind is: what if I hadn't met this beautiful amazing woman? Where would I be now?
Later:
Ugh! I do not enjoy my stomach waking me up at five in the morning. I make me way downstairs. I hope we have some cereal in the cupboard. Hell I hope we have some milk! Why is the hallway light on? I walk down the rest of the stairs. Whoa. Alex is standing there in jeans and a coat gathering her bags together. The front door is open and I can see a taxi outside. Alex looks at me with an apologetic look.
"I didn't wake you did I?" she asks.
I'm shaking my head. "No," I answer. "My stomach did. What are you doing?"
"The taxi is here. My flight leaves at 7:30 and you know how long security can take."
I nod my head. "So you're going to New York?"
"Yeah I'm going to New York."
"So you made your decision then? Was it a hard?"
Alex is shaking her head. "After your little speech it was a very easy decision."
Honk! Honk!
Alex turns her head. "I have to go, taxi's waiting," she says. "I'll see you later."
I nod my head. "Yeah, ok."
Alex and I share a hug.
"I love you," I tell her.
Alex smiles. "I love you too. And thanks for everything."
"Of course, that's what sisters are for."
Alex picks up her suitcase and makes her way to the door. She waves and leaves the condo. Well I guess she made her decision. I just hope it was the right one.
A/N: So I have decided that with the next update I might not post until I get TWO reviews on this chapter. I'll type the chapter and upload it and everything but I'm not going to post it unless I have two reviews for this chapter =)
Reviews are love darlings!