Hi guys! I'm so sorry that I haven't been updatin lately ... I have been going throgh some things lately ... I hope however that you like this chapter. Special thanks to NynaeveIshizu, DarkIkari8520, shadow-binder, Silkisif and tickledorteen for the updates and for remembering me to update...

Like always I don't own Naruto, but I hope you like the story nevertheless^^

...

In this world

or

Useless

...

God … she was so through all that shit, she couldn't see it anymore. She really, really, really needed a pause. He had tried to get information from her every way possible, locked her into a cell, solitude for a week, no food, hell he even had a man sleep with her in order to try and get information from her. Two months of nonsense and torture.

She had enough of it; she was tired of it … and a tired Sakura is never good.

"Lollypop concentrate …"

SNAP

"FUCK IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!"

You heard the snap? It's more like a 'switch' than a 'snap' … that's Kura talking.

"Haruno …"

"YOU THINK YOU CAN INTIMIDATE ME?! WELL I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU: YOU AREN'T INTIMIDATING AT ALL!!!!"

"Sakura Haruno…"

"SHUT YOUR TRAP! WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO THE WOODS WHERE YOU COME FROM?! WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO BACK THERE AND COMMAND THE FUCKING BUGS THERE!!!?!"

Whoa …

"Who are you?"

"Sakura Haruno …"

"You're not …"

Damn it … Kura let me out

You think that'll change something?

Maybe … just let me out

I can't …

And why the fuck can't you?

You're still too riled up …

FUCK IT!

"I am. I have pink hair, green eyes, you're calling me lollypop because I don't like sweets, you put me through physical and psychical torture for the last two months to see if I can keep my trap shut and god damn it … I'm fed up with it. You even made me sleep with a man …" she seethed.

"Anyone could have this information."

"They could, could they not? Well then … I guess it's time to show you how I broke the genjutsu in the chakra shackles, ne sensei?"

He scowled at her as she started glowing in a pink light she smiled while the real Sakura separated from the Kura body and materialized next to her inner.

"So now you're outer?" she asked Kura.

"Na … inside is much better."

Sakura turned to her sensei who looked at her with his usual analytical eyes. He looked for an answer and she would have to give it to him.

"I'm … schizophrenic." She admitted. "That is Kura, my inner self."

Kura glared at her sensei. "Fuckhead." She muttered before she touched Sakura's shoulder and vanished again.

"So … what exactly was that?"

"It's called another personality tree-sensei."

"Stop calling me like that, you have no discipline."

"Stop calling me lollypop." She offered.

"Never … how would you call a person with pink hair?"

"By their name, snorer." She answered.

"Where has your respect gone?"

"Respect is to be earned." She growled. "And really … you've done nothing to earn my respect."

"If you say so." He shrugged. "Anyways … I don't really need you. You're just a loudmouth. Don't come back again – as a schizophrenic psycho you're useless to this department." He dismissed her.

Useless. She punched another crater into the ground. Damn it – she wasn't useless. With a fierce battle cry she punched the ground again, taking down the trees around her. She had enough … if she was so useless why did she even still stay here, huh?

You're too scared to run away … that's why

And the sad thing was – it was true. She was too scared of what might happen when she ran away. Kakashi would be all alone in the bed and he would never forgive himself for having a second student who had abandoned the village. Tsunade … she would most probably drink so much sake that she wouldn't even be able to tell the difference between her slug-queen and Jiraya. The hospital – they would lose a capable medic …

"DAMN IT I LOATHE FEELINGS!"

She punched another crater into the ground before her knees buckled and she fell onto the ground. She pulled out a kunai. Well if she couldn't find the strength to run away, then she might as well die in shame.

Without another hesitation she cut her thigh … the vein situated there would leave her to bleed to death much quicker than anything else could. Soon her world turned black.

Black was soothing, it was endless and beautiful. It was simple and yet so incredible overwhelming. Cold … she didn't really notice it. It was better to fall into the dark … the black that surrounded her.

"What happened?!"

"She cut her thigh. I found her half dead in the woods."

"Damn it … Sakura don't you dare leaving us. Don't you dare … what were you thinking … god, don't you dare … I swear I'll kick your ass if you do … don't you dare …"

Light … why was there light?

Heavy eyelids fluttered softly at the aspect of gleaming light. A dry voice groaned and a bed squeaked as the person sat up.

Sakura looked around – she was in the hospital. She fell back into the bed – damned. Somebody found her … Fuck.

Now she would have to talk to a psychologist and would be suspended from her duty for some time … great. Just what she needed.

Her door opened just as she rubbed her nose.

"Sakura." A relieved voice sounded through the room.

"Kakashi." She sighed relieved as he lay down on the bed and collected her into his arms. He smelled like always wood and sandalwood.

"What were you thinking?" he pulled her closer. "You shocked me …"

"He said I was useless. A … p-psycho." She whispered. "A-Am I … useless?"

"You are not! Kami please don't ask nonsense like that … please. You are not useless … you are one of the strongest konoichi … you are not useless."

She snuggled closer to him. "Thank you, Kakashi."

She had to stay in hospital until she was completely healed; Shizune took care of her. Kakashi came by every day, he couldn't see her like that.

Stupid tree giant … god damn it. How the hell could he say that she was useless … nonsense. Just because he couldn't see it …

"You know what happened to her, right?" Anko stared into her sempai's eyes.

"Lollypop cut her thigh, because she wanted to die. Only shows that she really is useless." He grunted.

"Stupid man." His subordinate seethed.

He looked up. He was used to Sakura talking back – but she was the only one. Anko was leaning over his desk.

"You called her useless. Have you even the glimpse of an idea what would happen if this woman – and yes she is a woman – if this woman is to be gone?"

She waited a moment.

"I'll tell you sempai." She spit. "Hatake would get himself killed, the Hokage would most likely die of an overdose of alcohol, the hospital would be overfilled and we would lose at least ten percent of our shinobi, you could forget about a successor, because god damn it I'm not going to do this dirty job for all my life, let's continue …" she chirped sarcastically "the Kyuubi would go on rampage as soon as he comes back and hears that his nakama is dead, and now think of all the jonin that would be in a depression, because their student would be dead … that is more than ten percent."

He shrugged.

"She was right … you are a bastard. Let's see how you will get through our new prisoner without the help of her. You will be captured in his jutsu before you could even say 'fuck'."

She slapped a folder on his desk.

"I'm taking a week off. Have a good time, sempai."

In this world
we walk on the roof of hell,
gazing at flowers.

She remembered when she sat on the hill with Shikamaru. While he was staring at the clouds she adored the sight of the flowers she loved so much before her.

The lazy jonin had been announced her care taker until she was able to go on missions again. She was surprised that she didn't have to go through the psychological torture – it surely had something to do with shishou.

Suddenly there was a presence behind her, one other than Shikamaru. She balled her fists.

"What would you need…" she seethed.

"Someone who can defy genjutsu in no time …"

"Pch … that's not me, ask an Uchiha, dumb ass."

"Too bad that the prisoner is one."