"So, we're all together and back to life. Now what?" Sirius wondered as the group consisting of himself, James and Lily, Cedric, Harry, Remus, and Tonks wandered up from the lower levels of the Ministry. Most of them merely shrugged, but Harry grinned evilly and extracted from his robe pocket a piece of parchment. Clearing his throat rather dramatically, he began to read.
"Top Ten Things I Would Do If My Family Was Ever Resurrected from Death, Not Including Touching Family Moments and Catching Up on Everything We've Missed," he stated primly, "One, terribly painful revenge on those that dare call themselves my guardians, a.k.a the Dursleys."
Sirius twitched and cracked his knuckles in agreement.
"Two, set up a safe and wholesome life so I can have an actual education without all this 'defying death at every turn' stuff," Harry said, pausing to glance around at where they were before sighing and electing to just move on.
"Three, learn about everything required to run an Ancient and Noble House because I'm almost seventeen and the Heir to one of the most esteemed in Britain," Harry said, but glanced up sharply when Sirius made a sheepish sort of coughing noise.
"Uh, actually two. I named you my heir in my will," Sirius said apologetically, giving Harry a guilty grin, and the raven-haired boy stared hard at him before pulling a pen out of his robes and scratching out the offending number.
"Two, then," Harry said, a bit sour.
"A pen?" Cedric asked him suddenly, distracting him from his pouting, and Harry gave him a nod.
"Definitely. No offense, but quills are positively archaic and inconvenient to use besides," he explained, then shivered and confessed, "I still have nightmares about spilling ink on my finished essays."
"You too?" James asked his son, wide-eyed, and the two shared a look before cheering and high-fiving each other. "Told you I wasn't the only one!" James crowed to Lily, but the redhead merely rolled her eyes and gave an amused scoff.
"He gets it from you. It doesn't count," she argued.
"Does too!" father and son protested at the same time, sharing a quick grin before going back to pouting.
"Whatever you say," Lily acquiesced with her hands raised, giving Remus a pointed look before they both burst out into laughter. The two black-haired Potters both pouted even more, but with a glance decided to drop it for the moment. They'd get them back later.
"Four," Harry announced, getting the conversation back on track as they all piled into an elevator, "Remember to persecute Albus Dumbledore liberally for leaving me with said abusive relatives knowing full well they're abusive. This includes interrogating Madame Pomfrey to figure out why she never caught any symptoms of malnutrition or abuse during my many visits to the hospital wing."
Everyone was silent at this, probably with rage, so Harry continued.
"Five, capture Peter Pettigrew properly this time. For good. End of story," Harry stated firmly, looking up at his godfather with a small smile before going back to the list.
"Six, see Snape's reaction to my mother coming back to life," Harry said, then, "This one is underlined around six times. This one is important. Have to do this one."
Once the laughter died down, Harry pressed on with, "Seven, launch an investigation into the Defence of the Dark Arts teachers because they've all been pretentious idiots who haven't taught us anything useful except for Lupin and Moody."
No reaction, so Harry moved on to, "Eight, abuse my fame to the point of Malfoy-level conceitedness in an effort to better the Wizarding World."
Many appraising looks were sent his way at this, and counting this as a good sign, Harry decided to let this little thought ruminate for a bit. "Nine, find a place I can go where my fame won't have any affect on my life," he stated firmly, then, "Also underlined six times."
Then finally, as an afterthought, he added, "Ten, defeat Voldemort maybe."
"Maybe?" Cedric prompted incredulously, eyebrow raised, and Harry shrugged.
"If he's having trouble subjugating a small subset of Britain's population, I'd love to see what happens when the rest of the Wizarding World turns their attention to him," Harry relished, giving a sudden grin and adding, "Bonus points if the Muggles find out too."
"Why?" Lily asked, a bit perturbed, but then matched her son's feral grin when he mimed looking down a sniper's sight. "I see," she chuckled.
"But d'you think guns would work against You-Know-Who?" Tonks asked doubtfully as the elevator dinged, the doors opening onto the Atrium.
Harry quickly plunged his hand into his pocket and pulled out a .44 Magnum, shooting off three shots in quick succession. The first blew through a cloud of black smoke that was trying to form into a distinctive shape, the second blew through the same cloud when it tried to form elsewhere, and the third went off into the darkness of the Atrium.
"Harry Potter," Voldemort said as he was finally able to become corporeal, "Did you really think a Muggle weapon would have any aff-"
The third bullet blew through snake-boy's chest, tearing out his heart and maybe bits of his lungs as well. As the sound of the bullet ricocheting off the golden centaur's chest faded into the emptiness of the Ministry building, Harry pocketed the gun and said, "Well, I think it's worth a shot."
James and Sirius burst out laughing.