( Moar fluff. 'Cause I loves meh Neo-san :fangirl smile: )
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"Are you cold?"
The question startled her, as did the gentle concern in the voice. Glancing up, unwinding her arms from where they had been hugged close to her body, she managed a smile.
"No, I'm fine, thank you." It had gotten pretty chilly out here since the sun had set, the ocean breeze having picked up, but that was okay. She and her companion had been standing out here for a while now, talking quietly and enjoying each other's presence. She could tell that he was still confused, the uncertainty clear to see in those familiar-but-not-familiar azure eyes, but he seemed more at ease now.
If he feels more at peace out here, then we'll stay out here as long as he wants... Hugging herself again as the cool wind swirled around her, Murrue focused amber eyes on the distant horizon. She was very aware of his gaze upon her, and to her annoyance she felt her face grow warm. Shaking her head, she looked down at her feet.
Only to look up again as she felt something warm being placed around her shoulders. Blinking in surprise, she gazed, uncomprehending, for a couple of moments before realising what it was. A black Alliance uniform jacket with red and yellow shoulder bands...his jacket.
"You.." she breathed, hardly daring to meet his gaze. The blonde man smiled, the expression hesistant and rather sheepish.
"Sorry," he said softly. "It's just...you looked cold. It's gotten pretty cool out here. You want to go inside?"
Smiling back a little, Murrue shook her head. "N-no, that's all right.." Fingering the soft material of the jacket, she brought it a little closer to her. The overwhelmingly familiar scent rose up to surround her, the combination of soap, cologne, warm skin and that indescribable something that she had loved, and she closed her eyes at the rush of memories that flooded back. So much she had kept buried. Not the memories themselves, of course - those she treasured - but the emotions that went with them. The happiness she had felt at being with him, the sheer contentment that had come from spending time with him, the grief and guilt at his loss...and strongest of all, the love she still felt. Everything she'd tried hard to keep suppressed threatened to overwhelm her...all because of that scent. Squeezing her eyes closed tighter, she pulled the jacket further around her...trying to block out the pain.
The change in her demeanour didn't escape his notice. Her beautiful face still wore the faint traces of a smile, and as he watched, her eyes opened a fraction, the marigold shade seemingly dulled and faded in the growing twilight. That surprised him, as did the way she hugged the jacket close to her. He hadn't expected a reaction like this - it was almost like she'd forgotten he was there.
Not knowing quite what to say. Neo gazed at her for a while. He'd seen her like this before, quiet and wistful, and it was usually because of him. Because of the one he looked like. Before, it had caused annoyance, but now...it caused guilt. Logically, he knew that he shouldn't feel this way. It wasn't his fault that he wasn't this 'Mwu'. But then again, it wasn't hers either, was it?
I wonder if she's thinking about him?
But instead of crying this time, the captain was smiling. If she was thinking about him, the memories must be happy ones. Smiling himself, just a little, Neo placed a hand on her shoulder. The captain jumped, startled, almost losing her grip on his jacket.
"Wha-" she murmured, rubbing one eye as though waking from sleep. Remembering where she was, she flushed in embarrassment and glanced away. "S-sorry..." she said, voice just above a whisper.
His smile grew, and for what felt like the first time, he laughed. "Don't be. That looked like a nice dream..."
She didn't reply to that, but her blush did deepen. After a moment, she peeked back up at him with a sheepish smile. "Thank you..."
"You're welcome," he replied, reaching out to settle the black jacket a little more securely around her shoulders. "You're all right now? Not cold anymore?"
She shook her head. "No, not anymore. But what about you? Aren't you cold now?"
Blinking, Neo glanced down at his bare arms. There were some slight goosebumps due to the breeze, but he wasn't exactly cold.
"I'm fine," he answered, leaning on the deck railing. "Can I ask you something?"
The captain seemed surprised, but nodded. "Of course."
"Why would that jacket make you react like that? It's nothing special.."
She bit her lip, looking away again. "N-no reason," she claimed, twisting her fingers together. "It just reminded me of something, that's all..."
"Of him?" he pressed, and she closed her eyes for a second before nodding.
"I'm sorry," she said again, and he sighed, standing up straight and regarding her for a moment. Was that all he would ever be? A reminder of someone who died? Even the jacket, a gesture of friendship from him...just reminded her of the one she'd lost. Not him.
But I accepted that, didn't I? I was the one who asked to stay here...to be by her side. I want to stay close to her, even if she sees him rather than me. It doesn't matter that she sees him
Because I...can only see her
Resting his hands on her shoulders again, Neo smiled as she glanced up at him. Without another word, he pulled her close in a hug, wrapping her up in his arms. Her warmth and scent surrounded him, and his smile grew. For a moment he simply stood there, breathing her in. Her warmth banished not only the cold of the evening, but the last of the ice that surrounded his heart.
If you see him when you look at me...I can live with that if I bring back memories of a time when you were happy. But one day...I want you to look at me and see me, okay?
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( eheh
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