Chapter Nineteen

A/N: Don't hate me.

~Rose

"Tears stream down your face"

Castle:

Where was I? The image of Kate's face swam in my memories.

"Mr. Castle?"

"Where would you like it?"

"Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight."

"You think this is your fault? Yeah, you pushed for it; not because it's your job, but because you care. Most people come up against a wall, they give up; not you. You don't let go. You don't back down; that's what makes you extraordinary."

"Look I signed up for this when I put that badge on. You didn't. It's not your fight."

"The hell it isn't. I don't hang around you just to annoy you. I don't ride out to murder scenes in the middle of the night to satisfy some morbid curiosity. If that's all this was about I would have quit a long time ago."

"Then why do you keep coming back Rick?"

"You know what I thought when I first met you? That you were a mystery I was never going to solve. Even now, after spending all this time with you, I'm still amazed at the depths of your strength, your heart, and your hotness."

"You're not so bad yourself Castle."

"Thank you, for having my back in there."

"Always."

"Castle. Thank you, for being there."

"Always."

"I just want you to know how much I—"

"I'm jealous. There, I said it. I want you all to myself, and to have you spending time with another writer, that upsets me. If that makes me petty so be it, guilty as charged."

"Actually I kinda think it's sweet."

"You do?"

"I do. Ands that's why you don't have to worry about me hanging around with Conrad anymore. From now on I'm a one writer girl."

"Thank you."

"Always."

Her face was so clear in my mind. Kate. Where was she? Suddenly I remembered being in her apartment with Melling. His words haunted me. "I was the one that shot Kate Beckett. I didn't succeed in killing her then but I certainly will now." Was she still alive? Was I still alive? There had been fire and smoke. So much smoke.

I tried to pull myself out of the darkness. I could hear a voice. "Rick wake up. Come on Rick. Rick I l—"

I needed to open my eyes but the darkness pulled me back under.

Beckett:

The fire department was able to put out the fire and my apartment was too badly damaged. My living room and kitchen were pretty scorched, but it wasn't nearly as bad as the time my last apartment was blown up. The EMTs got Castle out in time. He had inhaled a lot of smoke but they said he would be fine.

I was sitting next to his bed in the hospital now. He had an oxygen mask on and was still unconscious. "Rick," I said lightly, "wake up." I felt his hand twitch slightly and I squeezed it. "Come on Rick." The doctors had said he would be fine but I needed him so open his eyes so I could see that for myself. "Rick I l—" I stopped myself from finishing those words. We couldn't keep up this game of denying our feelings for each other until one of us almost died. This is the third time we those three little words have been present at a near death experience. I almost told him in the freezer, he said them me when I was shot, and now this. I wouldn't say them now; I would wait until after this mess was over.

Martha:

I was worried sick. I had never seen Kate so concerned for Richard's well being before. Something must be terribly wrong.

The phone rang and I grabbed it immediately, hoping it was Kate. "Hello," I said shakily.

"Hello Martha, it's Detective Ryan."

"Detective Ryan? What is going on? Are Richard and Kate okay?"

"They're both fine. Beckett's apartment was set on fire and Castle was in it at the time. He inhaled a lot of smoke but other than that he's fine. Beckett is at the hospital with him now."

I was shaken up. Who would set Kate's apartment on fire? Did this have something to do with her mother's case? "Did you catch who did it?"

"We did. My partner and I had our suspicions of who it was and when we saw him in the background outside Beckett's apartment we took him in."

At least they caught him. "This has to do with Kate's mother doesn't it?"

"Yes Mrs. Rodgers, I'm afraid to say it does."

Alexis:

It seemed like only seconds after I overheard Gram's conversation with Detective Ryan we were at the hospital. Everyone kept telling me my dad was fine but I was still worried beyond belief.

We walked into Dad's room where they were going to keep him overnight to make sure he was fine. His eyes were closed and Detective Beckett was sitting next to him, his hand in hers. It was so similar to what happened almost four months ago when Kate was in the bed and my dad was holding her hand. The sight of it made the tears that were welling up in my eyes fall down my cheeks. "Detective," I said acknowledging her when she met my eyes.

"He's just asleep," Kate said softly, "he's had a long day."

I nodded my head and looked at Gram. Gram went to sit on Dad's other side and Kate got up to leave. "I should probably leave you guys with Rick."

"No, stay Kate," Grams told her.

"I'd love to but I really should ask the boys why they have a man who is supposed to be dead in holding, and why the hell he set my apartment on fire."

The detective turned to leave the room and I followed her out. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked her.

"Sure Alexis."

I took a deep breath before I started. "My father almost died today."

"I know," she said sadly.

"This isn't the first time either. There was the freezer too. How many times has my father almost died?" I didn't wait for a response before continuing, "How many times has he almost died because of you? He tried to take a bullet for you!"

She looked up at me tears glistening in her eyes. She was about to say something but I stopped her. "How many more times is this going to happen Kate? What if he isn't fine the next time? What if he dies?"

"I am so sorry Alexis."

"Do you think he followed you around like a puppy for three years for fun?"

"No Alexis, I know that isn't why he followed me."

"I like you Kate but I don't like my father being in constant danger. If you feel the same way about him that he does about you, you should leave him alone before you get him killed!"

I could see that I had definitely hit hard. So many emotions flashed in the detective's eyes. I felt bad for what I was doing but she of all people should understand why I can't lose my father. She lost her mother when she was not much older than I am and it has clearly torn her apart; I can't let that be me.

"Goodbye Alexis. Tell your dad I will miss him," Kate said tears in her eyes. I opened my mouth to somehow apologize for having to do this, but Kate had ran away before anyone else could see her cry.

A/N: I warned you not to get used to the fluff. Only ten chapters left!

~Rose