Ugh. Writer's block. The reason it took me so long to update. The reason this chapter isn't very good. But I promise the next one will be better, I actually know what I'm going to do for it this time.

Oh, and remind me to stop listening to Paramore. I'm developing an unhealthy obsession with Hayley Williams.

Chapter Fifty Four

''You touched a stripper's breasts?'' James repeated, raising his eyebrows as his girlfriend threw off her high heel, who knows where the other one was, and lay down next to him.

''Mmhmm,'' Emily purred and she started kissing James' neck.

''Emily, only women have breasts.''

''Garcia got me a female one. You got my stripper...,'' Emily whined.

''Yeah, that makes sense. We got a man. Emily, how much did you drink?''

''Um well let's see...I had three margaritas, two Cosmopolitans, fifteen shots, oh some tequila! Three mojitos and I had Sex On The Beach.''

''You what?''

''I'm hungry,'' Emily muttered, and tried to get off the bed and stand up. She got halfway there before she fell and landed face first on the ground. ''Oww...I broke my other willy...''

''WHAT?'' James asked as he jumped over to the other side of the bed and helped Emily up.

''I broke my other willy...,'' she whined.

''Emily, what are you talking about?'' he asked, getting very confused. Emily sure was odd when she was drunk.

''My willy! On my veil!'' she screamed and pointed to her head. She started feeling around at the top of her head for her veil but she couldn't find it. ''Where'd it go? It was right there a minute ago...someone must have taken it off...it was Reid! That boy was eyeing it all night!''

''Ok...Em, go to bed. If you're hungry I'll get you something to eat,'' James said calmly as he led Emily back towards the bed.

''I am. I want a Dick On A Stick.''

''A what?''

''A Dick On A Stick.''

''Em, you've had WAY too much to drink. Go to bed.''

''But I'm not tired!''

''You will be in the morning.''

''I don't really care! OH MY GOD I CAN SEE THE LIGHT!''

''Emily what are you on about now?''

''I HAVE FINALLY SEEN WHAT'S BEEN IN FRONT OF ME THE WHOLE TIME!''

''And that is?''

''I AM THE MESSIAH!''

James sighed and pulled Emily down on to the bed. He was going to try and get her to fall asleep. It was going to be a long night.

''Oww...my head hurts...,'' Emily whined as she woke up the next morning. She had a dreadful hangover and had been asleep until half one in the day. James had arrived upstairs with breakfast for her and had woken her up.

''Well that's what you get for drinking too much,'' he chastised her, a half-smirk gracing his features for a few seconds. Luckily Emily was too hungover to notice. He gently lay the breakfast tray down across her lap, after he helped her sit up in bed.

''What's that?'' Emily asked, as she looked down at her breakfast in disgust.

''Bacon and eggs. Your favourite,'' James replied, looking at Emily nervously.

''It smellls disgusting. I think...I think I'm going to be sick,'' she mumbled and ran to the bathroom, pushing the tray off her. James followed her in, holding her hair back and rubbing her back gently as she threw up in the toilet. When she was finished he helped her stand up and she threw herself into his arms.

''How bad does it hurt?'' he asked.

''So much. I feel like my head is on fire,'' she replied, as a tear rolled down her cheek. Never before had she cried because of a hangover.

''I'm sorry baby,'' James said, as he pulled her in closer and kissed the top of her head.

''Every word you say is like a jackhammer to my temples. Please stop,'' she winced.

He nodded his head as an answer.

She walked slowly back to the bed and collapsed onto it. James pulled the covers over her and let her sleep, she needed it.

Two hours later James came back into the room with Jennifer in his arms. Emily was still fast asleep, in the exact same position as he had left her in earlier. He wasn't going to wake her up, but suddenly Jennifer got excited when she saw her mother and started screaming so she could go to her.

Emily groaned. Her lovely dinner with George Clooney was interrupted by a screaming child, her child. Wait, she had a child? How drunk did she get last night to not remember that?

Emily tried to do a mini push-up and then turn around, but the minute she lifted her head off the pillow the pain came back. That awful, searing pain that felt like somebody was drilling a hole inside her head. Maybe two holes actually. She tried to ignore the pain and get up again, but she failed miserably. The more she moved the more it hurt. The fact that Jennifer was screaming made it worse. It was probably the worst pain she had ever felt. Damn that Penelope Garcia...

Suddenly she was helped up by a pair of strong arms. James. She really didn't deserve that man. On his stag night he stayed reasonably sober, she went out and got drunk until she nearly passed out.

''Thanks James,'' she smiled as she sat up on the bed. She looked down and saw that she was still in the black dress she wore last night, but without the sash. She felt a tugging on her arm and turned to see Jennifer trying to get her attention.

''Hey Jenny,'' Emily smiled, and gently picked up Jennifer and placed her in her lap. ''Did you have a fun time with your Grandma last night? I'm sorry I didn't come in and see you Jenny, your Aunty JJ made me do bad things and now Mommy has a head ache.''

''Figures, you would blame it on Jen,'' James chuckled.

''It was her fault! Ow, that hurt. And my point, she made me do it. Her and Garcia,'' Emily whispered as Jennifer started playing with a lock of her hair.

''It was all your own fault Em. And here, I got you some pain meds, it might help,'' he said as he handed her two tablets and a glass of water.

''Thanks, it still hurts like I've been bashed in the head with a golfclub and my body forgot to go unconscious,'' she smiled as she took the tablets and a sip of water.

''You never cease to amaze me with the way you describe things.''

''Garcia is worse. Did she eat?'' Emily asked, pointing to Jennifer.

''Yeah, and I took her out for a little walk as well. We went to see the ducks didn't we Jennifer?''

Jennifer stared at her father like he had two heads. ''Yeah well she enjoyed it at the time. You better get up now Em, it'll be dark soon.''

''Fine,'' she groaned, and threw a playful glare at him.

The next day at work the head ache was still there. It had dulled down a little, but it still felt like it could explode at any moment.

Emily walked lazily into the bullpen and threw her bag down on her desk. She winced as the noise sent a shockwave of pain through her head and trudged wearily over to the kitchen to get coffee. The noise of the bullpen was killing her. She glared at every agent she passed, just because they made noise.

Finally she got to the kitchen and faced Derek Morgan who was grinning widely at her. ''Rough night huh princess?'' he laughed as she got near him.

Emily glared at him and began pouring her coffee.

''Ok, ignore me then. But it must have been fun, I've seen you hungover before and it has never been this bad.''

''It was the hen night. And Derek, please, can you keep it down?'' Emily asked him as she lifted the coffee up to her nose and breathed in the scent. Coffee always woke her up.

''Oh sorry, my bad. And wasn't your hen night Saturday?''

''It was. I STILL have the hangover. It hurts so bad...,'' she whined.

''Well it's your own fault princess. Should have layed off the vodka,'' he remarked and he couldn't help the smile that crept over his face.

''Stop smiling, it isn't funny Morgan. And I didn't have vodka.''

''Then what did you have?''

''Three margaritas, two Cosmopolitans, fifteen shots, tequila, three mojitos and a Sex On The Beach.''

''Wow. You really went hard at it didn't you?''

''It was Garcia...she kept buying me drinks.''

''That's my baby girl. Well I'm sure it was better than the stag party, we got a male stripper!''

''Morgan, don't shout. And I know, we got your stripper.''

''You did? Damn, I can't believe it! You got our stripper!''

''And you got ours! Ow that hurt...''

''Dammit I can't believe you three girls got our stripper.''

''Us three girls and Reid.''

''Reid? The kid came along?''

''Yeah Garcia made him.''

''Oh my god. Did he drink?''

''Yep. He drank A LOT.''

''Oh dear god. This is priceless. Damn I wish I was there, mainly so I could of had my stripper!''

''Morgan, my head!''

''Sorry, sorry. Oh man I hope the kid has a hangover.''

''He should have. He drank as much as me.''

''Oh this will be so fun,'' Morgan grinned and he rubbed his hands together in glee. Suddenly JJ appeared in the kitchen area, looking as bad as Emily was feeling.

''Whoa JJ, you ain't looking too hot. Have a fun time Saturday?'' Morgan asked as she approached him and Emily.

''I don't know. I can't even remember it. The last thing I remember is running down the street waving Emily's underwear in the air screaming ''I love leprachauns!'' JJ answered, and groaned at how loud her voice was.

''Seriously? And how in the name of God did you get Emily's underwear? Actually I don't want to know. Oh wait I do...''

''Nothing like that Morgan. Garcia made me do it.''

''Sure, sure. So come on, tell me more about the hen night. And then graphically describe my stripper for me.''

''I really can't remember much. However I do know that Emily beat everyone at shots.''

''Oh yeah, I remember that. Ow, I moved my head too fast...oh and then I started dancing on the table and then I fell off...,'' Emily remembered.

''And I had to pick you up, oh and remember Garcia took us to a gay bar?''

''Oh yeah! And I ended up on top of you on the dance floor and we couldn't get up for ten minutes!''

''I remember that! And we were sandwiched together real tight, our bodies were pressed flat on top of each other!''

''I know! And we could hardly move with the sweat...''

''We were practically stuck to each other.''

''Oh dear God,'' Morgan whined and left before he couldn't take anymore.

Emily and JJ smirked at each other and began to laugh before the pain came back again. ''Owww...''

Spencer Reid stumbled into work later than usual. He had a spiltting head ache, he was guessing it was a hangover. He had never had a hangover before, he always thought people were exaggerating it when they complained about it. Now he knew they weren't exaggerating. They were downplaying it.

It was the worst pain he had ever felt in his life. Worse than being beaten half to death by Tobias Hankel, worse than being shot in the leg, worse than the pain he felt when losing Gideon. Ok maybe he was exaggerating slightly but it was still pretty bad.

He limped to his desk and put his bag on the desk. He spun his chair around, and the usually quiet sound sounded like a shotgun going off. He winced and carefully sat down. Once seated he rest his head on the desk and sat there for a moment. Morgan was going to tease him mercilessly. He would never hear the end of it. He, Spencer Reid, had gotten drunk on a hen night and had the hangover from hell. And Spencer Reid didn't do anything like that. Spencer Reid was a good boy.

Five minutes later Reid was still resting his head on the desk. He felt so tired, he could hardly keep his eyes open. Suddenly there was a loud bang and he cried out in pain. ''AAHHH!''

''Whoa Spence, calm down. I just put some files down on your desk,'' JJ said slowly.

Reid lifted his head up slowly and looked at her. ''Sorry JJ, I just...I just...''

''You've a hangover. Welcome to the grown-up world Spence. They aren't nice,'' she said sympathetically.

''It's driving me insane. Every noise makes it worse, being in a crowded, busy bullpen makes it worse.''

''I know.''

''Don't you have one?''

''Yeah, and so does Emily. Hers seems to be the worst. That might have been because Garcia spiked all her drinks.''

''She did what?''

''Garcia spiked her drinks. Speaking of Garcia, I haven't seen her. Maybe her hangover is so bad that she can't come in.''

''Maybe. Morgan is never going to let me see the end of this.''

''I know. He's already been on to Emily and I about it. Good luck Spence,'' JJ smiled as she left and walked over to Emily's desk.

''Ugh paperwork. JJ don't you know that I have a hangover?'' Emily asked as JJ left a few files on Emily's desk.

''I know, you haven't exactly been quiet about it. And you can't sit around feeling sorry for yourself all day though.''

''I can't? I was looking forward to that,'' Emily grumbled.

''Me too, but we gotta work. Just try and act normal around Hotch, I'm sure he wouldn't be happy if he found out that four of his agents are hungover.''

''Reid has a hangover?''

''Yeah, just look at him,'' JJ said as she pointed over to Reid who was in the desk directly across from Emily. He still had his head rested on the table with his hands blocking his ears. Now and again you could hear a faint whimper.

''Poor kid, first hangover is the worst,'' Emily sighed.

''Have you heard from Garcia?'' JJ asked.

''No. Maybe she has a really bad hangover.''

''This is going to sound mean, but I hope so. It's her fault we're all hungover, the whole thing was her idea. She deserves to suffer more than any of us!''

''Strangely, that doesn't sound mean.''

''Can you guys keep it down? My head...,'' Reid whimpered.

''Sorry Reid. Try coffee, it helps,'' Emily suggested.

''Ok,'' he muttered and slowly stood up and limped to the coffee machine.

''He didn't get beat up as well did he? He looks really bad,'' JJ remarked as they watched the young doctor struggle over to the kitchen area.

''I don't think so. God I hope not, who knows what happened after we left him.''

''...Eh, it really isn't that important. What is important however is Penelope Garcia. We need to find her. Let's check her office, she might be hiding in shame,'' JJ grinned and the two of them walked to Garcia's office. They knocked on the door but there was no answer.

''Hmm it must be really bad if she doesn't have an eccentric greeting for us,'' JJ smirked over at Emily who was at the other side of the door.

''Or she mightn't be in...,'' Emily said.

''Or that. Here, put your head against the door. Let's see if we can hear anything,'' JJ said and she out her ear up against the door and listened.

''Ok, I'll put my head against the door. That'll help my pounding headache,'' Emily said sarcastically but she did it anyway. The two of them stood there for at least five minutes, and they earned themselves a few odd looks and glances.

''Damn, she's quiet today. I can't hear her typing,'' JJ complained as she moved her head away from the door.

''Or like I said earlier, she isn't in,'' Emily said and moved her head too. Her ear was on fire from having it pressed against the door for so long.

''Well there is one way of checking. Let's go in,'' JJ suggested and she pushed the door in. To JJ's surprise, and Emily's delight, there was no-one there.

''Ha! See I told you! She isn't in! Wow, how much did she drink?'' Emily wondered.

''I have no idea. Where is she? Ooh let's get Garcia to trace her phone!'' JJ suggested. Emily looked at her with one eyebrow raised before JJ finally got it. ''Oh right...''

''Only you would get Garcia to trace Garcia,'' Emily laughed.

''Oh be quiet. Do you think I should call her?''

''Eh, why not? What's the worst that could happen?''

''She might be awakened from a wonderful dream where she marries Prince William, sees that it's us who's ringing her and ruin our lives forever.''

''Point taken. Call her anyway.''

JJ dialled Garcia's number, put it on speaker, and put the phone on a table. They could hear it ringing when suddenly they heard Garcia's ringtone from down the hall.

''What the...,'' Emily started but she stopped when she saw Garcia answering her phone down the hall.

''Ow! Stupid loud phone, whoever you are I'm going to get you for this...,'' Garcia grumbled as she pulled out her phone and answered it. ''Hello? Who is this? I will have you know I have a terrible head ache and your call made it worse! I will wipe you off the face of the planet, whoever you are!''

Emily and JJ gulped and looked at each other. There was no way they could escape without Garcia seeing them. They could hide, but she would find them when she checked her caller ID.

Garcia looked up and saw her office door open. That was odd, she had left it closed. She took a few steps closer to see who was inside and saw Emily and JJ looking very guilty and suspicious in there. She looked at her phone and saw that it was JJ who had called her. Payback.

Emily smiled weakly over at Garcia but Garcia glared at her. Emily turned to JJ and whispered ''Uh oh.''

For the rest of the day Garcia made their lives a misery. She rang them every ten minutes, making their head aches worse, she somehow programmed their phones to ring even louder, and then at random times during the day she would make sure a death metal song would play over the speakers. Emily, JJ and Reid couldn't focus all day, and Morgan was loving it.

''Hey pretty boy, I bet you wish regret getting drunk now,'' Morgan smirked. God, he was loving this. He hadn't had this much fun since Reid kissed that actress.

''Of course I do Morgan. I said that everytime you mentioned it. All thirty four times,'' Reid whined.

''And it still hasn't gotten old. So kid, gonna get drunk again?''

''No way.''

''Yeah, pretty much guessed that. Can't handle your drink.''

''Morgan stop...''

''Oh no way pretty boy. This is too good. You're hungover!''

''And I got the female stripper,'' Reid smirked.

''You...what...I...''

Reid smirked over at Emily who was glad that for once, Reid had won. Maybe that would shut Morgan up too. He had been driving her mad, she was sure Garcia had got him to do it.

Emily arrived home tired and sore. The hangover still hadn't disappeared, she had so much paperwork to do all day and she swore that if she heard another Iron Maiden song again she would kill Garcia. People can't stand metal music when they have a terrible hangover.

Emily threw her suit jacket over in the corner and landed on the couch. She leaned her head on the arm of the couch, and was nearly half asleep when she felt someone breathing on her neck.

James...,'' she mumbled, and she slowly opened her eyes. James was smiling down at her.

''Hey Emily. I see the hangover hasn't gone away,'' he smiled as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

''No, Garcia made my life a misery all day. Reid, JJ and I felt like killing her.''

''Why didn't you? I never liked her,'' he joked. Emily was too tired to get back at him so she just swatted her hand at him feebly. ''Ooh that hurt. Are you hungry?''

''No, food still disgusts me.''

''Em you haven't eaten since yesterday.''

''Not true. I had three peanuts today.''

''Oh well that makes it better.''

I nearly threw up after them. I don't think I can eat ever again.''

''Sure you will Sparkles, you love food too much not to.''

''Shut up,'' she smiled and leaned her head down on the couch again.

''Here, let me,'' he offered and he walked around to the side of the couch and sat down next to Emily. He threw his arm over the back of the couch and she leaned into him. ''See isn't that better?''

''Mmhmm. Where's Jennifer?''

''She's asleep. Poor thing is wrecked.''

''Aww. And I wanted to...'' The sound of Emily's voice was replaced by her breathing, as she quickly fell asleep in James' arms. James smiled down at her and gently lifted her up. He carried her upstairs and into the bedroom, as he carefully laid her down on the bed and removed her shoes and pants. He pulled the covers over her and let her sleep. He went into Jennifer's room to check on her and she was still sleeping soundly. His two girls were fast asleep.

Yeah none of that really had a point. Not my best work. Eh, it'll do.