Well. Here it is. The very last chapter of Child Swap. First of all, I'd just like to thank all my reviewers, starting with A, Oreoskidz, Kiko33, Jenni, Magenta, NessaV123, japaneserockergirl, Jocasta Silver, Porphyritic, Dagger, bluesheepy, Cornadopia and Broadway and Books! If it weren't for you lot with your amazing reviews, I wouldn't have felt so motivated to write!
Secondly, yes, I have started writing a sequel, but I need some time to write up more chapters. However, each day I am going to post a spoiler to my deviantart. Go to my profile and find the link. First one is up today! If you look in my favourites on deviantart, you'll see two pictures Oreoskidz did for me. They are absolutely adorable, check them out!
And now, please enjoy the last chapter of 'Child Swap!' I am going to miss posting and talking to you all, so leave me a reeeeally long review to remember you by! LOL!
On Saturday night, the families once again gathered at Escalus' Palace to watch the premier of their reality show 'Child Swap'
At first they all sat on separate sides of the room, but soon Juliet went over to sit with Romeo, and she leant against him with his arm around her. Lord Capulet kept his head up high and his expression neutral. Mercutio dragged Benvolio over to sit with Hermia between them. Rosaline was lying against Tybalt, with Regina admiring her ring.
"This is going to be so embarrassing. I hate hearing my voice on tape" said Hermia.
"Same" muttered Tybalt.
Escalus sat down, and the documentary began. A couple of lines of text rolled up on the screen.
'Two weeks ago, Mercutio Vincentino, Romeo and Benvolio Montague encountered Tybalt Capulet whilst in the park, and began to argue. The argument climaxed with Tybalt being picked up and thrown in the fountain. His Highness Prince Escalus therefore decreed that each family must swap children for a fortnight'
Immediately, the film began with Juliet and Tybalt walking up to the Montague Ranch. An announcer spoke the following "Although the arrival of each set of children was not filmed, security cameras caught the following episode"
Romeo and the other Montagues were in stitches as Tybalt was chased through the house by the dogs. Tybalt flushed red as he watched himself screaming on the telly.
"Loser! Loser!" laughed Romeo and Mercutio.
"That's enough" said Paulina "Some people aren't used to dogs"
"Hey, look, it's us!" exclaimed Benvolio, pointing.
"This is going to be hell" said the Romeo on the screen.
"We'll have some fun" assured the Mercutio on the screen.
"And we did" said Mercutio "Right, Eugene?"
"My name is Egues! And you will refer to me as Lord Capulet, or else!" The boys laughed, watching as Mercutio terrorized Benvolio about the bats and as they play-fought their way along the path. They laughed as they first began annoying Lord Capulet on the screen and when Mercutio greeted the nurse with 'Nursie!'
The filming flickered back to the Montagues, where they'd been having dinner and Tybalt was wearing bandages.
"I remember this" giggled Juliet "Watch Tybalt act like a total jerk, everyone!"
"Shut up" said Tybalt. The Tybalt on the screen started to smoke and curse at the Montagues. Then he stormed off with Lord Montague following to go and check his suitcase. The group 'awwed' at Juliet when she defended Tybalt and his actions.
"How sweet" said Tybalt sarcastically.
"Well, you are a good cousin" reasoned Juliet "You have your nice moments"
The program flipped over to show Lord Capulet and the Montague boys eating. The whole group (apart from Lord Capulet and Tybalt) were in stitches as the boys outwitted and verbally abused Lord Capulet. After that, there was a short segment of Lord Montague listening outside Tybalt's door and then walking away.
"Sneak" hissed Tybalt across the room.
"I left so you could talk privately" retorted Claudio.
The screen switched to where Romeo was setting up the CD player.
"Oh my God, this was so funny!" cackled Mercutio "Watch this, Hermia. You would be proud of us!"
The group was in stitches again as Mercutio and the boys pretended that the Lady Gaga CD wasn't playing when it was, and when Mercutio told the horror story about the rats and Tybalt. Anthony was stunned when he saw Benvolio, quiet, sensible, shy, Benvolio, stand in the hallway and yell for the Lady Gaga CD and then laughed at Mercutio as he blamed the loud noise on the cat and call Lord Capulet 'Gappy' Then was the part where Tybalt was awoken to loud dance music, and when he came downstairs acting all grumpy.
"Aw, Tibby, you do love your sleep, don't you?" cooed Regina "He slept in till one today. I made him a bacon sandwich and let him eat in bed, didn't I, sweetipops?"
"Yes, mum" groaned Tybalt.
"Tybalt! What did you say that for?" asked Rosaline as she heard him say to Paulina that she couldn't stand the sight of Romeo.
"What? You don't. You like your boys a little more masculine" said Tybalt, watching as he stuck his middle finger up at the camera.
"That's very manly, Tybalt" said Mercutio sarcastically. The scene changed to when Mercutio broke the bed.
"Oh, this is going to be funny" grinned Romeo. They watched Mercutio wander around the room, before jumping on the bed and smashing it. Hermia burst out laughing as Mercutio stood comically in a smashed bed. The group laughed again at Mercutio's next set of puns about masturbation.
"Oh, Mercutio" sighed Hermia.
"I can't help it! Rude things just slip out of my mouth"
A short snippet was shown of Juliet and Paulina at the shops, and then of Lady Capulet telling the boys that they would have to have 'Sausage Surprise' at Regina's house. There was another shot of Juliet and Paulina walking the dogs.
"You looked nice in that outfit, Juliet" said Hermia, pointing.
"Ssh" said Lord Capulet, as Juliet once again defended Tybalt.
"Aw, Juliet, such a good cousin" teased Tybalt. He turned back to the screen, where it showed what the Montague boys had done that day. The group laughed again at Mercutio imitating devil statues and then at Mercutio trying to stuff a frog down Benvolio's trousers.
"Mercutio, you're so mean! Do that to Tybalt, not our Bennykins!" giggled Hermia.
"You try and I'll kick you in the face" threatened Tybalt.
"That's enough" said Escalus, and then he himself laughed as Romeo soaked Mercutio with the hose for trying to stuff the frogs down Benvolio's trousers. He laughed again at the X-Rated scrabble game and then as they were dragged off to Regina's for dinner.
"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this" smirked Tybalt, but then the film cut to him smoking and Lord Montague telling him off. Mercutio laughed at him instead. But then Tybalt was laughing as it went back to his house. He stopped when Benvolio started looking at some of the trophies and his mother explained what they were for.
"I didn't know you could dance, Tybalt" said Paulina.
"I can't. That's why I quit" said Tybalt quickly. But they were distracted by Benvolio saying that Tybalt had guns and weed under the bed and Mercutio attempting to sneak in Tybalt's room, before being forced to eat 'Sausage Surprise'
"Oh, god" groaned Romeo, watching as he spat it out.
"Did you not like it?" asked Regina.
"No" replied Romeo.
"That's a shame. Tibby loves it, doesn't he?"
"Yeah" said Tybalt. They watched in silence at the argument, and as it was resolved and Tybalt was sent back to the Montague Ranch. They then showed Paulina showing off all of Romeo's baby pictures.
"Mum!" groaned Romeo.
"What? You were a cute baby" shrugged Paulina. But after that it was Tybalt's turn to laugh as Benvolio and Mercutio tossed up, and then eventually Romeo.
"Oh, did you get food poisoning?" asked Regina casually. Tybalt stiffened, knowing what would happen next, but thankfully, the scene where he yelled about what was wrong with his mother was cut and they instead showed the Montague boys waking up to find their Lady Gaga CD and Lord Capulet trying to bargain with them.
"You sly bastard!" laughed Lord Montague "I should have thought of that!"
"I beg your pardon?" hissed Lord Capulet.
"He's joking, dad" said Juliet quickly. They turned back to see Mercutio wheedle information out of Lady Capulet about her marital status.
"There's the prelude to trouble" said Hermia. She then turned to the TV to laugh at Tybalt refusing to go to church and attempting to flash Paulina.
"Oh, Tybalt. You are so stupid sometimes" snorted Romeo.
"Shut up" snapped Tybalt, evidently embarrassed by his actions. The group snorted as Juliet sucked up to Paulina and Tybalt got in trouble, and then tutted and shook their heads after Romeo, Mercutio and Benvolio ran out of the Capulet Manor to go and visit Hermia, shouting insults at Lord Capulet.
"You three are terrible" stated Claudio. Then they watched a short clip of Tybalt messing around with his phone in a church, and getting in trouble.
"Look, that's us on our way to visit you!" pointed Mercutio, as the Benvolio on the screen wondered if Hermia would watch the documentary.
"And the answer is...yes" said Hermia. Then came the bit with Benvolio asking how she could be Lord Capulet's daughter.
"Damn you, Mr. Camera Man, I asked him not to play this on telly!" said Mercutio.
"His name was Dave. You should have paid him off" said Hermia "And I'm not bothered. The whole of Verona probably worked it out anyway. It's not like Tybalt doesn't call me bastard in front of people all over Verona"
"Shut up" snapped Tybalt "I wouldn't call you a bastard if you weren't so annoying"
They watched as Hermia gave them tips on how to survive and Lord Capulet snorted "So that's what you were doing!"
"Hey, look, it's the bit where Tybalt smashes the tree up!" exclaimed Beatrix. Most the group laughed, some moaned, as Tybalt beat the poor tree apart. Tybalt himself just sniggered, and Rosaline sighed in irritancy. Next was when Lord Capulet came across Benvolio doing his maths homework and their discussion about sisters, and then about the conversation about the whole 'Tybalt's dad is a gangster in prison' thing. Anthony and Regina glared at each other across the room. This scene faded to black, and then it reopened to Tybalt eating breakfast in a hurry to get to school.
"Oooh, Tibby, you hardly ever get up that fast for school" noted Regina.
"Keep listening and you'll find out why!"
The show changed to see the Montagues arriving at the station and talking to Tybalt and Juliet. The whole room went silent when Tybalt made homophobic slurs at Mercutio and when they started fighting.
"Oh, Juliet, playing mum again are we? I'd have just helped Mercutio to beat up our dear chavvums here" said Hermia.
"Shut up" snapped Tybalt.
"Make me" gloated Hermia.
"Stop it, I'm trying to watch" commanded Escalus.
"Oh, oh, this is the bit where I arrive" said Rosaline. Some of the teenagers sniggered when Tybalt hopefully wondered if the Montagues were all dead. The whole room 'awwed' when Rosaline leapt into his arms and kissed him.
"How sweet" crooned Hermia. Mercutio and Romeo started to giggle when Tybalt and Rosaline insisted on sharing a room, and laughed some more when it flickered back to them answering the phone, and Mercutio announcing that it was 'Capulet Crocodile Farm' The room went silent again as the phone buzzed with Juliet's angry statements.
"I did not throw Hermia down the stairs. We were arguing. And she tripped" said Rosaline curtly.
"No, you definitely pushed me, bitch" said Hermia.
"Stop it!" said Escalus "No cat fights, ladies"
Then came the bit where Juliet told the Montagues that Tybalt used to do drugs.
"I do not do drugs" hissed Tybalt.
"Well, I didn't know the whole story, and I'm sorry I said things about you without knowing the whole story" replied Juliet.
"How mature of you" muttered Escalus. Then the camera zoomed in on Mercutio, Romeo and Benvolio lying on Lord Capulet's bedroom floor.
"Oooh, it's the protest! Keep watching, Hermy-wa, we did this for you because we love you!" sang Mercutio. The camera swivelled from each teenager as they yelled at Lord Capulet, and the whole room burst out laughing when Benvolio screamed at Lord Capulet.
"What on earth happened to my quiet son, who hates football and would rather read books and dissect frogs-" began Anthony, but he was cut off by Romeo asking the same kind of question on the television. Juliet laughed when Romeo ranted at Lord Capulet about how she disobeyed him behind his back all the time. They all watched when Lord Capulet stomped off to go and get Hermia, and Romeo, Hermia and Benvolio booed and hissed when Lord Capulet was homophobic about Mercutio.
"Mean Girls is not a stupid film" said Mercutio.
"Mercutio, he just called you gay on TV which has just been broadcast to Verona, and you only care that he called Mean Girls a stupid film?" asked Romeo.
"Who doesn't call me gay these days?"
"Here, here!" shouted Tybalt. It changed to show Tybalt and Rosaline's bedroom door and they heard them all making plans for a party, and then showed Hermia arriving at the Capulet Manor and greeting her friends. There was a quick breakdown of the rest of the week, including Rosaline doing her Economics homework, and then it was Friday night.
The beginning of the Capulet's party was first, when Hermia set it up, and let the guests in. Lord Capulet leant forwards and watched as Romeo tipped some vodka into a cup then give it to him.
"So there we have the reason behind my behaviour. I'll never do that again"
"Of course not" whispered Mercutio into Hermia's ear. They then watched the beginning of Tybalt's party, with Gabriel and Livia arriving.
"I can't wait to see the little brat smack his head" sniggered Mercutio "Oh, sorry, Angelo!"
On the screen, Juliet rejected Paris, and Hermia cackled with glee as Paris himself went red. Then they laughed some more at the party at the Capulet's house, where Mercutio played 'Spin The Bottle' and kissed everyone, when Lord Capulet embarrassed himself by going on about how 'rocking' and 'cool' he was. It showed Romeo and Lysander talking, although no one actually heard what they said. Benvolio was jumping on the sofa at one point, and then it cut back to the Lord Capulet doing the dance that Mercutio filmed. Hermia and Benvolio disappeared at one point, and everyone who knew about their steamy romance knew what they were up too. The party went on until the last person dropped, and then skipped over to the Montagues, where Tybalt and Rosaline hosted their party.
The Montagues were running around horrified, Juliet was even ruder to Paris, and soon afterwards Tybalt came out, and did his feat of jumping in the pool. The group howled with laughter, and then Gabriel jumped in as well. Benvolio looked stunned at Gabriel's stream of abuse.
"The little..." snarled Anthony.
"Leave it, he can't help being such a bitch, it's in the bone. Just look at Rosaline" said Hermia "Sorry, Angelo!"
"Oh, look, he's going to slip next" grinned Mercutio "Let's watch him crack his head open!"
"You're deranged. And a psycho" said Benvolio. On the screen, Gabriel slipped, and the whole room winced. But the group was taken aback as Tybalt rushed to the rescue and delivered first aid. There was a haunted atmosphere as an ambulance arrived, and whizzed away.
The sounds of little birds tweeting filled the air, and the Capulet Manor came into view. It showed the chaos from the party, the household strewn around the place asleep, but thankfully not Hermia and Benvolio. Hermia relaxed, a little. They watched Escalus' visit, when Lord Capulet said how they made him feel young again. The group giggled at him, and then it skipped over to the Montagues cleaning up, with Tybalt angrily yelling at Paulina and Juliet when she said he did drugs. The film did not show Hermia and Benvolio in bed together, and both of them relaxed again. Instead they watched Paulina and Tybalt call a truce.
"Were you feeling all right, Tybalt? You sure you weren't still drunk?" asked Romeo.
"Shut up" said Tybalt. They showed the Capulet household dealing with the shock of Lady Capulet having walked out, but not Hermia and Benvolio together. It went back to the Montague household, where Tybalt had planted the new tree and was watching the video with Juliet. They all laughed again.
"Oh, here comes my confession" said Romeo, when it went back to the Capulet household "It's so cringey! I'm such an idiot when I'm drunk"
"Well, it turned out ok, didn't it?" Juliet reasoned. They kissed, and Tybalt looked like he wanted to throttle Romeo, but he didn't. The group laughed at Romeo's drunken tales of love experiences.
"You were brave, boy" said Lord Capulet "Brave, but stupid"
"Whoops" muttered Romeo. Next, they watched Beatrix and Anthony have dinner at the Montague household, and Tybalt play his trick on Beatrix. Even Mercutio laughed, and Beatrix flushed red. They watched her be dropped off, and saw Hermia play her own prank on Beatrix about Tybalt looking like Edward Cullen.
"So that explains why you turned up at the Ranch acting like that!"
On the TV, Anthony gave Rosaline the business tips, although they cut some of this to skip on over to the Capulet house, where Hermia was settling Beatrix in with a room, and when they had dinner and Mercutio said that Gabriel looked like Justin Bieber. It skipped the bits with Benvolio talking about what he'd done with Hermia, and went over to the Montagues, when Lady Capulet turned up and Tybalt yelled at her to moisturize her face.
"Good boy, Tybalt" praised Lord Capulet. Tybalt beamed with pleasure. The program flickered to the next morning with Beatrix and Benvolio bickering about obsessions, and the other three telling them both off. It showed Hermia making the plans to steal the tapes, and then Juliet and Romeo discussing what to do next. It skipped some of their dialogue on the train, but played some of the highlights.
"This is the bit where I propose" said Tybalt, as it showed him reading a woman's magazine.
"Why were you reading Cosmopolitan? Were you after fashion tips?" asked Mercutio.
"Shut up, Mercutio!"
"No, ssh, we want to see this" squealed Regina excitedly. The group turned their attention back to the TV. Regina clucked and cooed as Tybalt did the asking, but then looked shocked when he mentioned 'that outfit'
"Sorry mum" muttered Tybalt "Wear it if you want, but, er, it's a bit old and boring. And, um, you don't really want people to see you in the same outfit twice, do you? Rosaline, it's against the rules of...the fashion police!"
"Well, I suppose I could treat myself to something new, but I thought we spent all our savings on the new toaster and getting the telly repaired, from when you tried to do it yourself and almost shocked yourself"
"Shut up, it's the karaoke bit!" giggled Hermia "Listen to this!"
The group were in stitches at her and Mercutio's rendition of 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' And they laughed again when they started talking about how much they wanted to see the end product.
"Well, we are now" said Hermia. Then they cracked up at Mercutio singing 'Oops! I Did It Again' and Romeo being a sneaky little tell tale. After that, they were entreated to Rosaline, Juliet and Tybalt's bickering in the car. Romeo and Mercutio both awwed at when Tybalt said they were nasty people and cracked up when he said he peed in the fountain. Everyone laughed at the bit about Tybalt wanting to move to France and live on a farm, and Rosaline blatantly refusing. Hermia sighed of relief when the bit with her and Benvolio in the storeroom was cut. Instead they showed a film clip of the Montagues and the Capulet kids reacting to the video of Lord Capulet that had made it onto the news. Lord Capulet himself had blushed bright red, but sniggered as the Montagues became angry at their son.
"It was a joke!" protested Romeo. But he stopped his protests upon seeing his friends dressing in drag and running around Verona, harassing Tybalt, and then Hermia's shocking flash at Demetrius. The documentary also showed him saying about how 'mature' he was to Lord Capulet. That made them giggle.
Once again, it skipped Hermia and Mr. Camera Man's bargain, and instead they watched the Montagues take the kids out. For some, it was a welcome relief seeing them all get along after so much drama, and Juliet sifted as she'd got cramp in the hour that she'd been sitting still to watch. The next bit to be showed was Lord Capulet's threat to Romeo. Juliet gasped.
"I stand by that threat" hissed Lord Capulet. Then Mercutio gasped as Lord Capulet called him crazy.
"So mean" muttered Mercutio. The clip switched to the Montagues helping the Capulet kids pack up on Friday evening, and as they learnt about Lady Montague's past. It skipped Hermia and Benvolio's conversation, and they both breathed a large sigh of relief as they were no more incriminating film clips to show. Their steamy little affair was all under wraps.
Finally, it reached the end. They saw themselves arrive, and listened as they spoke of their experiments. There was a close up of Romeo and Juliet's big kiss and soft music played. Another close up was of Tybalt's face. Mercutio giggled hysterically.
"Shut up" growled Tybalt "It was a shock!"
The documentary closed with Escalus saying he believed that the experiment had been a success. Then the music played, and it was finished.
"Well, that's that" said Tybalt.
"What now?" asked Juliet.
Lord Capulet turned to Hermia "I can't believe you flashed Demetrius!"
"I can't believe you threw a party and spiked a drink and that you actually did all that stuff Tybalt says you did!" said Lord Montague to Romeo.
"I can't believe you yelled at someone, other than Beatrix!" said Anthony to Benvolio. Benvolio flushed.
"I can't believe my Tibby ate all the food you gave him. He's put on loads of weight" chirped Regina to the Montagues "He usually always gets a takeaway, don't you, sweetipops? And I can't believe he's getting married! My little baby who I used to dress up in a cat costume is going to have a wife and then hopefully maybe have his own baby!"
Rosaline spat her glass of water across the room "I don't want kids!"
"Ssh!" hissed Tybalt.
"Well, as Tybalt said, that's that" finalised Escalus "Now, are you going to call truce?"
"Yes" replied Juliet instantly.
"I believe so" added Lord Capulet "I have better things to be doing than fighting all the time. And Tybalt, you better get your butt in gear and start revising for your exams. And then we Capulets are throwing a wedding that dreams are made of"
"I want to be a bridesmaid" stated Mercutio.
"I will call a truce with you, Lord Capulet. And er, you can call me Claudio"
"And you can call me Eugene, I mean, er, EGUES!"