This update didn't take as long as I thought it would. It was actually pretty easy to write once I got in to it.

Thanks again for all your reviews guys:)

Chapter Fifty Nine

JJ walked out of the photo shop browsing through the pictures of the wedding she had printed out. Flicking through them brought back that stab of pain she felt whenever she thought about the wedding, or weddings in general. She quickened the rate at which she was looking through the photos. All she could see was happy pictures of Emily in that beautiful dress, or the newlyweds being all happy and married, or pictures of herself with a stupid, fake grin on her face. Eventually she found a photo she could look at without feeling miserable or some sort of pain.

It was a picture she had taken of Hotch while he wasn't lookng. His head was tilted off to the side and he had a confused look on his face. JJ stared at it for a moment thinking about what he could possible be confused about. Then she remembered. Garcia was dancing behind her. She had had a few drinks and removed her high heels and was doing the macarena.

She smiled at the memory and turned her attention back to the photo. She realised that she had been spending a lot of time with Hotch recently. Ever since the wedding she had started seeing him in another light. She had discovered this other side to him, this softer, caring side he rarely showed to anyone but Jack, and Hayley when she was alive. And if she was honest, she liked this side.

She sighed and stuffed those thoughts about Hotch to the back of her mind. She shouldn't be thinking about her boss, her friend, that way. She was with Will. Even if she was doubting their whole relationship.

She put the photos in her bag when she reached her car. She unlocked her car and stepped inside. She headed back home to Will and Henry.

Coming home to Will had been unbearable recently. She always felt this sharp pang of guilt whenever she stepped inside the door. He always greeted her with a smile and a hug, he was so loving and caring, and he had always had dinner ready for her. He had no idea what was going on in JJ's head. He had no idea she was considering leaving him. But he could fix it, if he wanted to. Four simple words was all it took, and she'd be his forever.

She pulled the car into the driveway and stopped the car. She braced herself for what she was going to face once she walked inside.

After finally mustering up the courage, she exited the car and entered the house. She was hardly two feet in the door when Henry ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her leg.

''Mommy!'' he squealed. JJ bent down to his level and hugged him.

''Hey buddy. How are you doing today?'' JJ asked him.

''I drew a picture Mommy!'' Henry said excitedly as he showed JJ a picture he had in his hand. ''See there's you, and there's me, and there's Daddy,and there's Jenfer and there's Aunty Emmy with Unca Jamie. We all one big happy family,'' Henry beamed.

''Yeah...one big happy family Henry. How about we go hang this on the fridge Henry? So we can show everyone your drawing?''

''Yay!'' Henry squealed and he ran into the kitchen.

''Remember to use the magnets near the bottom Henry!'' JJ shouted after him as she left her keys and coat out in the hall. She walked into the kitchen and was embraced in a hug by Will.

''Hey darling. Have a good day at work?'' Will asked with a smile. A smile that made JJ feel uneasy and guilty.

''Well reading through hundreds of files about the worst humanity has to offer is never really good, but yeah. It was ok,'' she answered. She couldn't stand being so close to Will so she walked over to help Henry who was struggling to pin up his picture. ''Here buddy, I'll do it. That ok?'' she asked Henry.

''It perfect Mommy,'' Henry smiled.

''Good job buddy. Did you eat?''

''Daddy made me chicken fingers. I love chicken fingers mommy.''

''I know you do buddy. They're your favourite. aren't they?''

''Uh huh. My favrites in the whole world. But I likes ice cream too.''

''I know that to buddy. Listen, if you be a good boy for Mommy and clean your room, I'll let you have some ice cream later. Is that ok?''

''Chocwit ice cream?''

''Chocolate ice cream with marshmallows.''

''YAY! I goes clean my room! Ice cream, ice cream!'' Henry shouted as he ran down the hall to his room.

''You don't usually let him have ice cream on a week day. Something important happen today?'' Will asked.

''No, he's just been good lately. He deserves a treat,'' JJ answered.

''Oh. Dinner's nearly ready, about five minutes more. You can go wash up if you want.''

''Ok, what are we having?''

''Lasagne, your favourite,'' Will smiled sweetly and JJ left quickly. That man was perfect. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. As his wife. But he wouldn't propose and it was killing her. Every little thing he did killed her a little inside. She didn't know how long she could last before she became hollow inside.

They ate dinner in silence. Usually there would be some small talk about JJ's day or something cute Henry did, but today, nothing.

JJ ate quickly and moved her plate over to the sink and started doing the dishes. Will walked up and handed her his plate with a confused expression on his face.

She ignored his gaze and turned her attention to the dishes. She finished her plate and moved on to the dish the lasagne was cooked in. She scrubbed furiously trying to get a piece of pasta burnt to the bottom off but it was no good. Nothing she did helped. She scrubbed harder and harder, anger building up inside her until she threw it in the sink in frustration. It broke in half and she cut her finger on the glass.

''Shit!'' she swore and walked over to the first aid cabinet. She began pulling at bandages when Will's gentle hands took the box out of her hands and put it on the table.

''Hey, hey darling, let me do it. Here, hold out your finger honey,'' he said calmly as he started cleaning her wound and applying bandages.

''I couldn't get a bit off. Stupid thing was burnt on to the bottom,'' JJ grimaced.

''It happens darling. There's no need to get worked up over it. Here,'' he said as he gently kissed her finger. ''All better.''

JJ winced at his gesture and returned over to the sink. ''No, no JJ. I got it. You bring Henry his ice cream and then put him to bed. I'll clean up in here,'' Will told her.

JJ nodded and silently slinked out of the kitchen. She returned twenty minutes later, and Will had just finished putting the last plate in the press.

''All done. You've good timing,'' he smirked.

''Huh. Yeah,'' she said slowly. She avoided eye contact with Will and turned her attention to the fridge that was covered in Henry's drawings.

''So how about we watch some TV darling? I think The Shining is on soon, you love that movie.''

''Um...no. I don't feel like it tonight. I think I'll go straight to bed,'' she told him and she turned towards the door. She was sudenly stopped by a strong grip on her arm.

''JJ what's wrong? You seem off today. You've been off for a while actually,'' Will said, concern written all over his face. JJ winced and looked down at her feet.

''Uh, I'm fine. Just...tired. I really should go-''

''JJ, don't. Talk to me, I'm here for you. You can tell me anything, you know that don't you?''

''Yeah. I know,'' she said. Another wave of guilt hit her. She had to get out of here.

''So talk to me. Tell me what's wrong JJ.''

''I told you. I'm just tired.''

''I don't buy that. Something's up JJ. Is it work? Take a few days off if it is. Did you do something to Emily again?''

''No, no, it's not work, it's not Emily.''

''Then what is it JJ? Tell me,'' he pleaded with her.

''Will it's nothing. Just leave me alone,'' she said, shrugging out of his grip.

''No JJ, I won't. I just want to help but you won't let me!''

''Because there's nothing wrong!''

''You can't lie to me JJ! I know you, there's something wrong!''

''You wanna know what's wrong? You really wanna know what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. It's us that's wrong Will, it's us!''

''JJ what are you talking about?''

''Did you not notice I've been acting weird ever since Emily and James got married? It's because I want that, I want what they have! I want to get married Will!''

''Is that what this is about?''

''Yes! That is what it's about! We love each other Will, why can't we make that step?''

''You know I don't believe in marriage JJ.''

''But I do! I believe in marriage! I believe in the magic and the romance of marriage! I believe marriage is something special, between two people who love each other. We love each other Will! What's stopping us from getting married?''

''There's no point in getting married. We're happy together, we have a wonderful son, why would we want to get married?''

''To make it official, to show the world that we love each other maybe?''

''Everyone already knows we love each other! We don't have to get married JJ!''

''Ever since I was a little girl I've dreamed of getting married! Ask James, I used dress up in a white dress and put flowers in my hair pretending I was a bride! I want to get married Will! I NEED to get married Will!''

''Why? Why do you need to get married? Why is not being married causing some empty void in you? Why?''

''I don't know why, it just is! It's my dream to be married, have a kid with a husband who loves me! I have Henry, I have the man, I just need you to marry me!''

''JJ I can't, you know I can't.''

''Why not? Do you not want to be with me?''

''Of course not. I love you JJ.''

''Then marry me!''

''JJ, how many times?''

''Will I'll never understand why you can't marry me.''

''And I'll never understand why you need to get married. How bad has this gotten?''

''So bad I've thought about leaving you.''

Both were silent for a minute. Will turned around and sighed while JJ looked at her feet.

''But you could fix it. With four simple words,'' JJ whispered.

''And what would they be?'' Will asked.

''Will. You. Marry. Me. As easy as that.''

''Well JJ I can't. I can't say that.''

''Then I don't even know why I'm with you,'' JJ said and she walked out of the kitchen.

''JJ where are you going?'' Will asked angrily.

''I don't know. A hotel, Emily's, I don't know. Anywhere but here,'' she answered as she walked into their bedroom.

''You're leaving? Why?''

''You won't marry me,'' JJ said solemnly as she pulled out a suitcase and started packing it.

''Don't you think you're over-reacting?''

''No. For once, I'm doing what I want. If you won't marry me, then I'm sure there's plenty of people out there who will.''

''I'm not letting you do this. You don't control me. But if we were married, now that would be a different story.''

''JJ change the record. So I won't marry you, big deal.''

''It is to me.''

''And what about Henry? Have you thought about him in this impulsive plan of yours?''

''Yes, I have. I'm taking him with me.''

''What? No! He's my son too JJ!''

''Remember, we're not married. I have sole custody of him.''

''I can't believe you're using him against me.''

''I'm not. I would never do that. I'm just stating the facts. We're leaving for the night. I don't know when we'll be back. You can fix this Will.''

''You expect me to marry you after this?''

''I don't even know if I want to marry you after this.''

JJ pushed past him and walked into Henry's room. She sat on the side of the bed and gently woke him up. ''Hey buddy. I'm sorry to wake you up but we have to go,'' she told him.

''Why do we have to go Mommy?'' he asked her.

''Grown up reasons Henry. Come on, you and me are going on a mini vacation.''

She lifted him out of bed and carried him into the hall. ''Mommy, why isn't Daddy coming?''

''Daddy has to stay here and think about a few things Henry. He has to do it by himself. So while he does that we're gonna stay somewhere else.''

''Ok. Where are we going?''

''I don't know Henry. I don't know.''

Will was standing by the door waiting for them. He had his arms crossed and his eyes were wild with fury. Usually he was a calm man, but when he got mad, he really got mad.

''Bye Daddy. Don't forget to think!'' Henry called out as JJ approached the door.

''I won't. You be good for your mother ok?'' Will said as he quickly hugged his son.

''I will.''

''Promise?''

''I pwomise.''

''We'll talk again tomorrow. I'll know what I'll be doing by them,'' JJ told Will.

''Fine. You do what you have to.''

JJ nodded and opened the door. It had started raining ever since she had come home. She grabbed her and Henry's jackets and put them over their heads so they wouldn't get too wet. She ran to the car and strapped Henry into his carseat before running over to the driver's door. Just as she was pulling out of the driveway she saw Will watching them through the window. She avoided his gaze and pulled out of the driveway, leaving him behind.

''She's asleep. She went out like a light,'' Emily told James as she walked back into their bedroom. She had just put Jennifer to bed.

''She did a lot of running today. I don't know where she gets all her energy from. Even I can't keep up with her,'' James remarked. Emily sat down on the bed and scooted over beside him.

''Maybe you're just getting old. I thought I saw a gray the other day,'' Emily smirked.

''You did not. I'm still in my prime.''

''if you say so. What are you looking at?'' she asked as she peered at the book James was reading.

''It's a list of creches near us. Jennifer is nearly old enough to start going to one now. She can't stay with that woman down the street forever.''

''I guess not. See anything good?''

''This one sounds good,'' James said, pointing to one. ''It's one awards and everything. I looked it up online and it's highly recommended. But if we're going to put her there we'll have to book her a place soon. It fills up quickly.''

''So it must be good. But I still think she's a bit young. And I still hate leaving her.''

''So do I but we both have jobs Em. At least we've left her with someone we can trust. But we can't expect her to look after her forever. We have to put her in a creche.''

''I know, I know. It's just...hard. She's growing up. It just seems like yesterday when I held her in my arms for the first time.''

''I know Sparkles. But hey, we have another one coming soon. So you'll have a brand new baby to spoil,'' he smiled. He put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned in closer to him.

''You mean a new baby for JJ and Garcia to spoil. Out of all of Jennifer's clothes, we've bought like ten percent of them. They've bought the rest. I don't know which of them is the worst.''

''They mean well.''

''I know. And I love them for that. But for this pregnancy, I'm not taking any of JJ's crap. I'm done with that. And there is now way, no way, that I am giving birth on the BAU floor again.''

''I'll make sure you have a nice comfortable hospital bed.''

''I hate hospitals...

''Hospitals or BAU. Your choice.''

''Hospital,'' Emily grumbled jokingly.

''Hospital it is. Right, I'm sick of looking at these. The world won't end if we wait another day on our decision.''

''Yeah, leave it tonight. Come to bed instead,'' Emily smiled seductively.

''I am in bed...oh,'' James smirked and he moved even closer to Emily. ''Well if you say so.''

He leaned down and kissed her. She slid her tongue along his bottom lip and he allowed her in. A few moments in and both of them had really gotten into it. Emily had removed James' shirt and he was working on her pants. She pushed him down flat against the bed and started working on his belt buckle when they heard the doorbell ring.

''Ugh, who's calling at this hour of the night?'' James grumbled as he put his shirt back on.

''I don't know. I'll get it. I have more clothes on,'' Emily told him and she left to go downstairs.

''Yeah but if I had my way you'd have a lot less.''

Emily walked downstairs and noticed it was pouring rain outside. She walked to the door and opened it, revealing a very wet, very depressed looking JJ with a suitcase in one hand and a sleeping Henry in the other. JJ just looked lost, her hair and clothes clung to her skin and her mascara was running down her cheeks. Emily had never seen JJ look so defeated.

''JJ!'' Emily gasped. ''Come inside, you must be freezing,'' Emily said as she pulled JJ inside and sat her down on the couch. She took JJ's wet jacket and hung it up. She fetched JJ a blanket and put her suitcase in the corner before sitting down next to JJ on the couch.

''JJ what's wrong?'' Emily asked her.

JJ took her eyes off the floor to look at Emily for a few seconds before saying ''I think I've left Will.''

''Oh JJ I'm so sorry,'' Emily said and she took JJ's free hand. ''You're welcome to stay as long as you need here, ok? There's plenty of room.''

''Thank you Emily,'' JJ said and she looked up into Emily's eyes. Emily could see pain and confusion in JJ's eyes, and they had lost the sparkle they once had. They reminded Emily of the way James looked after the whole Jacob incident.

''Hey, let me make you some coffee. Warm you up. I can get you a change of clothes if you want. And then we can put Henry to bed ok?'' Emily said as she stood up and walked to the kitchen. JJ nodded and she watched Emily walk away.

She came back a few moments later with a hot cup of coffee. She handed it to JJ and took Henry off her. ''There. That should warm you up. I'll go upstairs and tell James to get the guest bedroom ready. I'll come straight back downstairs ok?'' Emily told JJ.''

'''Yeah, yeah that's fine. But I don't want to impose Emily.''

''You're not.''

Emily reluctantly left JJ and carried Henry upstairs with her. The boy was still sleeping.

''Who was it Em?'' James asked from the bedroom.

''It's JJ. She's...she's left Will,'' Emily replied as she walked back into their bedroom.

''What? Did she...did she say that?'' James asked.

''Yeah. She's pretty beat up about it, as you would be. Look, I don't want to leave her alone for too long. Can you put Henry to bed? I'll go back down to JJ.''

''Of course, does she need anything else?''

''I'll just get her some pyjamas. She's soaking wet.''

''Ok. I'll come down once I'm finished.''

Emily gave Henry to James and went back downstairs to JJ who looked as if she hadn't moved a muscle since Emily left her. She was still staring down at the floor, her coffee cup full. Emily sat back down next to her on the couch and JJ didn't even notice.

''JJ,'' Emily said gently, grabbing JJ's attention. JJ turned her head slowly and looked up at Emily.

''Yeah?'' she answered.

''I got you some pyjamas,'' Emily said, as she handed JJ the clothes.

''I have my own clothes Emily.''

''They're probably all wet and cold. Take these.''

JJ nodded and accepted the clothes. She returned her gaze back down to the floor.

''JJ? Do you want to tell me what happened?'' Emily asked her.

JJ sighed and she looked back up at Emily. ''I was wondering when you'd get to that part.''

''You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.''

''No, you have to know at some point. I...I've been thinking about it for a while. Ever since your wedding day. I was jealous Em. I want what you have. I want a husband who loves me.''

''But Will doesn't want to get married,'' Emily said softly, putting the pieces together.

''No. He doesn't. He doesn't believe in marriage. But I do. Emily I really want to get married. I really do. And I know it's probably a selfish reason for leaving him bu-''

''No JJ, it's not. You weren't happy with him. You had every right to leave.''

''But over something so little?''

''It's not little to you. And it's not little to me. If he doesn't want to be with you that way then you don't deserve him. You deserve happiness JJ. And if you don't have it with him then you made the right choice.''

''You think so?''

''I do. I don't blame you one bit JJ.''

Emily grabbed JJ's hand and gave it a quick squeeze. ''I'm on your side,'' she told JJ. JJ gave Emily a very small smile and leaned in closer to her.

''We had a fight,'' JJ continued. ''He told me he wouldn't marry me. So I left. I packed a bag and took Henry and left. I drove around in the pouring rain for over an hour. Henry had fallen asleep in twenty minutes. I didn't know where to go. At one point I pulled over and cried for fifteen minutes. After I pulled myself together I found myself being drawn to here. I...I didn't know where else to go. This is the only place I could think of.''

''You're more than welcome here JJ. You and Henry.''

''Thank you Emily. I just need a while to figure out what I'm going to do.''

''Of course. Take as long as you need. There's always room here for you.''

James arrived downstairs then and both women looked up at him. He walked over to the couch and knelt in front of JJ. He took her other hand and said ''Jen, I'm so sorry. I mean it. Anything you need, anything, and we'll do it.''

''Thanks James, thank you. But I don't know what I need right now.''

''We're here if you need anything.''

''Yeah, anything JJ, and we'll do it,'' Emily told her.

''Thank you. I don't deserve this.''

''Yes you do. You're going through a hard time JJ. You can't do it on your own.''

The three of them sat in silence for a few minutes. Emily was the first one to break the silence. ''JJ, please, have some coffee. It'll make you feel better.''

''Em, thanks for it, but I think I just need to sleep right now. I might feel better in the morning.''

''Of course. Do you need me to go up with you?''

''No, I got it. Thanks for the pyjamas Em.''

''No problem. You know where the guest bedroom is, don't you?''

''Yeah I know. Thanks again.''

''It's no problem JJ.''

Emily and James watched JJ walk upstairs slowly and quietly. They turned to each other once she was out of eyesight.

''Did she tell you what happened?'' James asked.

''Yeah, she told me. I'll tell you tomorrow ok? I just can't right now. Poor JJ, she didn't deserve this.''

''No she didn't. But it was all so sudden.''

''She said she's been thinking about it ever since the wedding.''

''Really? That long? You wouldn't think it.''

''Sometimes she's better at hiding her emotions than I am. I just hope she gets through this. She deserves happiness. Come on, let's go upstairs.''