A/N New chapter! Thank you all SOOOO much for the reviews! They literally make my day every time I open my E-mail to find them. If you are a writer, I'm sure you understand the decision. Now, without further ado, I present to you chapter three.
Chapter Three: Remus and James; totally the best actors ever.
The pair awoke the next day with Sirius' furry head resting upon Remus' chest. Sirius refused to let the fact that he was a dog change his usual habit of taking advantage of the two or three mornings a month where he awoke before Remus. After admiring Remus' not-so-elegant, open-mouthed sleeping face for a moment, he licked his face from chin all the way through his messy morning hair. When all that did was make the werewolf's brow furrow and his hands wave around in a blind attempt to get the offender off him, Sirius proceeded to bark as loudly as humanly possible.
"BLOODY HELL!" shouted Remus instantly, who would've leapt or at least promptly sat up had he not been completely draped with dog.
Sirius barked some more, a skip in his step as he pranced happily around Remus' bed and body, his tail wagging, apparently very pleased with himself for his success in waking Remus up. Remus didn't even muster the energy to roll his eyes, and merely flopped back onto his welcoming, disheveled pillow.
"You're so lucky I forgot to take down the silence charm last night. Peter would kill you if you took away from his precious weekend sleep," said Remus, stifling a yawn. He dragged his hand sluggishly through his hair, cringing as he felt that the left half of his head was absolutely drenched in Sirius' considerable drool that, in his dog form at least, he could summon out of no where. Peter possessed the unique and invaluable talent of sleeping in to whenever he damn well pleased. On a weekday, for instance, he was perfectly fine with waking up at seven. That was what he was accustomed to. On a weekend morning, however, the combined wrath of God and Satan would be channeled through Peter and unleashed on whatever poor soul decided to wake Peter before 11:30 am on the dot. It was literally the only time in which the other three were forced to take him seriously, for the sake of their own welfare.
Sirius licked him again.
"Useless mutt," muttered Remus, looking rather grumpy, but scratching Sirius behind the ears anyway as he swung his feet out from beneath his sheets and through the curtains, landing them soundly in his carefully positioned slippers in a way he had rehearsed nearly every morning since he had discovered a soul-mate in those worn old slippers.
"Rise and shine, Moonshine," said James pleasantly, looking up from is daily prophet (which Remus could be almost completely sure he was reading only for the added effect of it combined with his calm sipping of coffee, as it was the issue from the previous morning) in a matter of fact way. 'Moonshine,' despite Remus' greatest efforts, had become the variation on his normal nickname, or 'sub-nickname,' of choice amongst his close friends, thanks mostly to the dog who had just emerged grandly from Remus' bed.
"Morning, James. I hope you haven't been pretending to read that paper for my benefit. Not much use reading something just for show when you're alone," commented Remus, though he knew that James could give Sirius a run for his money when it came to unnecessary dramatics. The pair of them never ceased to amuse and exhaust Remus every waking moment of his life, usually regardless of whether they were actually present or not. They had their ways.
Once Remus was suitably dressed and had completed his morning ritual of brushing his teeth, shaving and, this morning, washing dog-spit out of his hair, James removed his supposedly-sophisticated robe he insisted on wearing in the morning (often along with a completely fake pipe and, today, a newspaper) to reveal himself to be fully clothed and ready to start the day already, and the pair set off, ready to face the world with explanations of Sirius, or rather lack thereof.
Sirius, meanwhile, paced the room in desperate search of something to do. He settled on a book, but his paws made turning the pages difficult and he ultimately decided that he had no patients for delicate paper things. He therefore decided to see what exactly it was that dogs were raving about, and chew on something. Not one of the sticks he found in the forest, and not the leg of a werewolf as he and his friend fought fiercely. Something forbidden. A sock.
This particular article of clothing, incidentally belonging to Remus, kept Sirius entertained for approximately twenty minutes. At this point, he decided to rest on Peter's bed and wait for him to wake up, or for the others to return. The former happened first. At 11:30 precisely, Peter stirred, his eyes beginning to open. As soon as they completed this process, they were greeted by the face of a dog leaning in not but two inches away.
"Bloody HELL, Sirius!" exclaimed Peter, making Sirius do another four-legged victory dance. He even licked Peter's hand. The hand was about as far as he would go with Peter, except on special occasions.
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the castle, James and Remus were having a less enjoyable time.
"Good morning," said Dumbledore cordially as he stopped beside the pair in the hall. The pair muttered a 'good morning, Sir.' Not one to miss a trick, he quickly noticed the lacking Marauder (other than the one who was known for sleeping in) and the poorly-hidden nervous expressions the two wore. "Whatever has become of Mr. Black, this fine morning?" he inquired smoothly, a glint in his half-moon glasses. His pleasant, unsuspecting smile never wavered.
"Actually, um," started Remus, who was clever, smooth and witty around his friends, but often froze in moments of pressure with people he was less comfortable with.
"He's gone," said James plainly, a well-rehearsed look of apology on his devious face. "Actually, Sir, it's lucky we ran into you. Something urgent came up and, well," he scratched the back of his neck nervously, "you know Sirius. He took off. We couldn't stop him. Something about wanting to leave to be there as quickly as possible and not wanting the school to have to contact his family because they might stop him," said James convincingly. It was clever of him to mention Sirius' parents, as Dumbledore was well informed on the situation with them and sympathized with Sirius greatly.
"Hm," said Dumbledore pensively, fully attentive now as it would appear one of his more rash students had some how escaped his watch. "And what, pray tell, has dragged Mr. Black from his studies so quickly and on such short notice?" he asked, his voice taking on a more serious tone now.
Remus watched, amazed, as James, with the perfect inflection and hesitation said "um, well, Sir, it's a bit personal really, but he…" beautiful hesitation "he told us to show this to you…"
James looked over at Remus, who was still gazing transfixed at James, wondering if he was considering acting as a career. Remus, careful not to look too surprised or confused, cottoned on and retrieved an envelope from his front pocket and handed it to Dumbledore. The handiwork was mostly that of James and Peter, while much of the wording was edited by Remus. It had been addressed perfectly in a fake handwriting that matched the contents, sealed in an envelope and the removed. The envelope had gotten a bit of dust on it from it's supposed long flight and the letter within had several obvious tear stains, courtesy of Peter after having been stabbed rather hard with James' wand.
Dumbledore scanned the contents quizzically, his gaze softening with every line. He was clearly buying it. When he looked up his expression was solemn, and he placed a hand on Remus' shoulder. "Please, if you hear from Sirius give him my most sincere apologies. But have you any idea when he will be returning?"
"Well, the way we've heard it is that, well," stumbled Remus, who could lie up a storm to anyone who he didn't respect as much as Dumbledore, "his mum didn't know about this friend, because he was a muggleborn, so he didn't see him much and now he seems intent on staying with him until… Well. He says he's got a month at most. I can owl Sirius his homework so he can hand it in upon arrival. It just seemed to mean so much to him, Sir," he concluded, a look of such honest earnestness in his eyes that Dumbledore couldn't say no.
"Very well. Tell him that in future he should consult a teacher before making the decision to skip a month of school," said Dumbledore, casting the two a small smile to show that he knew that was an unlikely thing for Sirius to do.
"Thank you, Sir," chorused Remus and James gratefully.
The minute Dumbledore had rounded the corner, the two could breath again. They sighed, they caught their breath and they laughed triumphantly on their way back to the common room. Their arms were laden with thrice the usual they brought back for Peter, and when passers by looked questioningly, they merely shrugged and bit into a scone themselves.
"He bought it!" announced James cheerfully upon entering their room.
"Brilliant!" said Peter happily, high-fiving James. Sirius leapt up as well and licked James right across the face, to witch James unashamedly did the exact same to him.
"That," exclaimed Remus, putting one hand over his averted eyes and one in a gesture of shunning towards the other three, "is absolutely sick! James, come over here so I can scourgify your mouth!" James stuck out his tongue , complete with several slimy, black dog hairs, and was amazed when a well placed spell actually did scourgify the inside of his mouth. He gagged. It was the sort of thing parents threatened, but never actually did. It tasted awful, and felt like someone was plucking all the plaque and dog hairs out of his mouth by hand just super quickly.
"Ew! Moony, you don't actually do that! No one actually does that!" said James, absolutely having a fit, much to Remus, Peter and Sirius' amusement.
"Toooo bad," trilled Remus, grinning and scratching Sirius behind the ears. "Aw, look at you," he said, turning to Sirius with a mock baby voice. "Now you've got human spit positively dripping down your face after I gave you a bath and everything!" cooed Remus to his new adorable pet. Peter cracked up from the combination of the idea of the two bathing, the voice and the fact that Remus was now pinching the poor creature's cheeks. Sirius, also more amused than agitated, was wagging his tail.
Today it was decided that James would spend the afternoon locked up with the dog. None had the heart to leave him alone, nor the death wish, so despite Sirius' obvious gestures indicating that they could leave him alone if they wanted, Remus and Peter departed to have a fun Sunday while James stayed behind.
Sirius looked up at James. James looked back, no sign of being about to say or do something humorous in his face like usual.
"Does it still hurt?" he asked. Remus had already asked. Sirius shook his head, even though, as he did so, the slight strain on his neck and shoulder made him want to wince. In reality it wasn't that bad. Just occasional, unexpected twinges, but it was still there, and the poison in his veins, while currently dormant wasn't exactly comfortable. James scratched Sirius' ears.
"How's being Moony's pet working out for you?" he asked, smiling knowingly. James was the only one who knew how Sirius felt about Remus. The exact words had never passed between them, but the topic had come up. That conversation had been brief and practically in code, but James had known even without that conformation. They weren't self-proclaimed brothers for nothing. Sirius wagged his tail once. James said no more on that topic.
"How's the language barrier working out for you?" was his next question. Sirius barked. "Yeah, I guess it wouldn't phase you too much. You don't really need words, I guess, but you certainly like to use them a lot," said James. James looked over at Sirius a bit more. "Hm… wanna spy on people on the Map?" he asked, smirking. Sirius barked and wagged his tail gleefully. "Thought so."
And so they did. For several hours. It was a pastime that really never got old for those two. Peter and Remus would occasionally indulge themselves, but barely a day passed without Sirius and James lying down pouring over the Map making up stories about how someone's dot looked particularly shifty in that corridor or why someone was in detention or what two or more people were getting up to crowded together in a classroom or dormitory that didn't belong to them.
"NO!" shouted James in disbelief. Sirius howled in agreement. "Noooo! Not Professor Lionsmane and Professor Slughorn! That's gross!"
"Don't you two ever stop?" came Remus' exasperated call from the door he had just entered.
"No! I'm sure they're just… having a meeting or something! It can't be!"
Sirius, now actually feeling the language barrier, wanted nothing more than to shout 'THEN WHY ARE BOTH THE DOTS WHERE HIS DESK IS?' and was eternally grateful when Peter, who'd rushed over, made the loud observation for him. Sirius barked appreciatively. Remus facepalmed but eventually couldn't resist and came over to see if they were right. Indeed they were.
After that, James, Peter and Remus all departed for a quick dinner where they explained to several friends the lack of Sirius. They then rushed back to Sirius himself and went about their own businesses before bed. When that time came, Remus still found himself taken aback when Sirius was, this time, waiting in his bed.
"You may be a dog, but you still have your own people bed and you are welcome to it," deadpanned Remus. Sirius looked up at him, looking as cute as possible. "Right, I forgot. We couldn't possibly have you shedding over your own sheets! Never!" said Remus, rolling his eyes as he pushed the dog over to make room for himself. That night, he read aloud to Sirius without being prompted. He fell asleep with the dog who was the object of his affections sprawled across his chest.
A/N soooo what'd you all think? Good? Bad? Reviewable? I THOUGHT SO! NOW CHOP CHOP GET TO IT! REVIEW LIKE THE WIND! THANKS FOR READING! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX stay tuned.