A/N It's been shamefully long. Again. I'm so mad at myself. Also, I haven't updated ANY of my other fics in MONTHS. THIS IS SO SAD. Ok, well here's the next chapter. Enjoy.
Chapter 9: The One with the Attractive Ravenclaw
By Thursday of that week, Remus had stopped feeling self-conscious about his sexuality. It wasn't as if it were a common topic of conversation, or, indeed, one that came up at all, but the bookish teenager had still spent much of the week just waiting for his friends to spontaneously recover from their delusional states and remember that gays were the enemy. No such horrors occurred, however, and, within three or so days, he started to adjust to the idea that perhaps they were actually fine with it. The cause for this was most likely the presence of a test, a quiz and an essay due the following day, the combination of which managed to keep his mind from obsessing just long enough for him to remember how awesome his friends were. And he aced each major assignment, of course.
Sirius, on the other hand, spent the better part of those days prancing around like a little pup, happy as could be. Happy, that is, until Wednesday, at which point he was overcome with an intense stomach flu and was henceforth confined to a makeshift dog bed in a separated section of the hospital wing, so as not to put off human patients with the sight, sound and stench of the retching dog. In most cases, such a matter would be taken care of by a pet's owner in school, but Madame Pomfrey's fondness for the lycanthropic child and her knowledge of the dog's plight made her more inclined to continue offering assistance. This doesn't mean she enjoyed the company of an extra heaving, limping, whining burden, and, as such, both the healer and her canine patient were immensely relieved at the sight of Remus walking through the door of the Hospital Wing that day after his last class. As it became apparent that Remus intended to take over Sirius-tending duties, Madame Pomfrey wasted no time in rising and exiting, muttering all the while about all the better uses of her time.
Sirius could tell that Remus was still nervous and self-conscious, despite his most desperate attempts to show his approval and support in every possible way, but it appeared to be subsiding. At the moment, at least, Remus showed no signs of discomfort as he sat down beside the bed-ridden dog. They spent the evening in silence, Remus stroking and rubbing away the pain as he tended to his homework with his other hand. Sirius, despite his continued discomfort and sporadic vomiting, did not fail to recognize this as the first time since his coming out that Remus initiated any sort of affection or contact himself. So it was that by Thursday, as previously stated, Remus was once again comfortable around his friends and Sirius, though dreadfully tired, was once again in decent health and staying in the dorm. While Remus finally let himself bask in the apparently permanent acceptance of his friends, Sirius napped off the previous day's plight in the comfort of James' bed—his favorite due mostly to its tendency to be comfortably toasty during the day because of its convenient location in the most consistently sunny part of the room.
Having, upon Sirius' request, slowly chipped away at The Scarlet Letter during the week, despite the awkwardness, they found themselves now faced with another book decision. Remus, intent on introducing absolutely essential muggle authors to his friend's repertoire, decided on Matilda. That night, he read just enough to his clearly exhausted friend to impart a sufficient sense of fondness for the precocious title character before closing the book and extinguishing his wand. That night, when Sirius cuddled up to him, Remus didn't shy away, but rather wrapped his arms around the furry form and proceeded to instantly nod off into an thoroughly restful sleep.
Remus supposed, as he entered the Great Hall that morning, that he should honestly have expected mischief when he woke up to find Sirius missing when Sirius honestly had no place to be. Sirius' waking up early on a Friday when he had just recovered from an illness and was not required to be in class was astronomically unlikely unless it involved something mischievous—the sort of thing Remus was often bribed to turn a blind eye to, as a prefect. The second hint that ought to have prepared Remus was the absence of James. The pair disappearing together at unlikely times of day could never bode well. All the same, when Remus and Peter entered the room for breakfast, they were caught utterly off guard by the sight of James riding a saddled Sirius through the air above their heads.
Adjusting quickly to the scenario, Remus' first step was to mentally place the prank in it's proper category. Seeing no way this stunt could harm Snape, woo Lily or somehow excuse them or larger groups of people from classes, this was in Remus' least favorite category: just because.
Yes, thought Remus with an exasperated sigh, "flying Sirius" was definitely joining the ranks of such classics as "Technicolor-food day," "bringing powdered wigs back into fashion" and "house name-themed curses"—a day on which Ravenclaws quickly and mysteriously sprouted talon-like fingernails, Hufflepuffs assumed the general shape of a marshmallow, Gryffindors became literally incapable of opening doors and Slytherins were suddenly incapable of transporting themselves places by any means other than an undignified sort of squirm along the floor (utilizing of limbs strictly prohibited). Remus didn't like the category because most of what it included were pranks or other such shenanigans based solely on suddenly impulses rather than the desire to accomplish something, which made them often more ridiculous and less easy to predict and regulate.
After assuring himself of his friends' lack of motives, Remus tried to figure out by what means they were propelling themselves through the air so as best to assess the dangers and the immediacy at which they should be forced to land. By the time he had served himself from the largely ignored platter of waffles—it had lost its audience long ago to the flying teenager and dog—Remus had deduced the general mechanics of the thing: what kept them suspended was James' broom, wrapped in the invisibility cloak. Sirius was attached below the broom by some no-doubt ridiculous but ingenious makeshift harness as well as the saddle upon which sat James. Sufficiently reassured of his friends' safety now that he knew they were not suspended by the novice wand-work of a bribed first or second year, Remus proceeded to eat his waffles in solidarity, rolling his eyes repeatedly at "oohs" and "ahs" while he absentmindedly pondered where or how his goof-ball friends had managed to procure or create a dog-sized saddle.
The most eventful parts of the day were that Remus, who studied, and James, who was obnoxiously gifted, both did well on a test while Peter did predictably average, having missed the point of the essay portion but done well on the rest. Later, Remus was lectured unfairly on the "preposterousness of such tomfoolery"—meaning airborne dogs—by Madame Pomfrey, who was forced to re-stitch and bandage Sirius' almost-healed wound after it literally came apart at the seems from whatever angle he had hung at from the broom that morning. Sirius still looked rather pleased with himself, even as he whimpered in sporadic pain, but Remus wholeheartedly wished he had sent James in his place to listen to totally true but totally misdirected ranting of the healer. He was careful to thank the healer, rant or no, reminding himself repeatedly as she rambled away that she was doing him a favor, and not for the first time.
Wanting to express his displeasure with the overly self-satisfied dog, Remus refused to indulge his pleas for attention after school and instead excused himself with a pointed glare. He wasn't really too upset, but he felt personally responsible for bringing Sirius' ego down a few notches every now and again. And really, he knew, Sirius would think nothing of his behavior, probably shaking it off within minutes and wandering off to conspire with James or bother Peter. Remus decided that he would rather enjoy the peace that came with solitude than worry about what shenanigans his friends might get up to while their baby sitter was out and about—which isn't to say that he didn't contribute to their nonsense, but he simultaneously kept them within reasonable and safe limitations while adding his own subtle genius to the spectacle.
"Taking a break from baby sitting?" called Lily from some feet behind the wandering wolf.
"Lily, that is precisely what I'm doing," said Remus with a fond smile, identifying one of his few sane friends before turning on the spot to greet her. "Hullo. How'd you do on the test?"
"O," announced Lily with a shrug, not being one to boast about grades, but not exactly bothering to hide them either. "Yourself?"
"Same. Well done, us," he replied with another smile. "How've you been lately, Lily?"
"Can't complain. The novelty of having a new pet seems to be distracting Potter from harassing me for the time being." Remus could honestly see the appeal of getting a vacation from James. Being a committed friend instead of a hard-to-get crush, Remus found himself seeking relief from his eccentric friends at least weekly, and having even less success than Lily. Didn't help that he lived with them. "And you? Ready to explain the apparently irreversible condition of Mr. Black? Is it a fashion statement? An excuse to skip school? What's up?" Remus' face darkened.
"Lily, I really… don't want to talk about it. Believe me, its not a stupid prank. All you can do is not tell anybody, please?"
"Yeah, I get it," said Lily begrudgingly. "But tell Black he owes me. I'm only even doing this because I trust you. If I find out this is all some elaborate Potter scheme, I will take. You. Down."
Remus believed it, but that momentary dispute being settled, he decided it was a good offer, took it, and changed the subject. The pair walked, filling the chilly afternoon with companionable conversation before eventually returning to the castle and parting ways, Lily to hang out with some friends she ran into by the Great Hall, and Remus to seek out any of his roommates.
Upon entering his dorm, he was first greeted by Sirius, jumping up at him enthusiastically and licking what he could reach. "Idiot," muttered Remus with a roll of his eyes. Nonetheless, he did not deny the dog a quick pat on the head to show that he wasn't actually even remotely upset. Being mad at Sirius for his shenanigans, while sometimes necessary, was virtually impossible. His ridiculous antics were half of his charm. "What've you done all afternoon?" called Remus to the room at large. He couldn't see them, but he figured at least one roommate with the power of speech would be within earshot.
"Nappin, 'ntil you camein, ya prat!" growled James' slurred, muffled voice through his fluffy pillow. Moments later, the stag's legs swung into sight through his bed's curtains, shortly followed by the rest of his body as he wobbled unsteadily to his feet. As he groped around for a moment, Remus helpfully stepped over and handed him hi glasses from his bedside table.
"Thanks," murmured James through a yawn. "IIIII guess I've got to do homework now, don't I?" he continued rhetorically before groaning in defeat and falling back onto his bed.
"Friday," Remus reminded him, and was almost instantly greeted by most-probably fake snores. "Come along then, Midnight. Let's find Peter."
Sirius obliged, and the pair headed off in a random direction in hopes of encountering the fourth of their quartet, or anyone else of remote interest. Such a person, as it turned out, took the form of a particularly dashing Ravenclaw that stepped perhaps too purposefully from behind a corner, stopping the Gryffindors in their tracks.
Remus knew Gilderoy in passing, but they had never been close. The brunette Ravenclaw was a year above them and somewhat too popular for Remus' taste. He had interacted with him from time to time in his first year, maybe into his second, but around the time the older boy realized that his smile could melt the hearts of any and all female's within a twenty to fifty foot radius, Remus backed off and hadn't heard much from him sense. He was fast on his way to becoming a legend, though, his conquests with girls throughout the school always sure to be heard whispered across the table at breakfast or from ear to ear by giggling groups of girls lounging about the common rooms. This gossip—and Remus was never one to blindly believe gossip—was occasionally even peppered with hushed giggles about Gilderoy and what he got up to with some of his male classmates as well. It was mostly credited to Remus' natural skepticism that he did not even remotely see the next bit coming.
"Hullo Remus," greeted Gilderoy with a charming smile, though not yet whipping out the secret weapon of his sparkling white teeth.
"Hey, Gilde—"
"So do you fancy going out with me this next Hogsmead weekend?" he asked forwardly.
"I—um… What?" attempted Remus, not quite sure how to appropriately react.
"You know," he said in a cheerful sort of voice. "On a date!" He said it like it was the most obvious and exciting concept in the world.
"I…" Remus, lost in thought as he mentally ruffled through a dictionary trying to remember how to speak English, didn't even notice Sirius growling or stepping in front of him. "I'm. Not. Gay…" said Remus in an awkward, mechanical sort of deadpan that was met with an almost condescending but somehow still incredibly charming little scoff and smile.
"Come now, Remus. No need to be shy. I know," replied the upper classman. Remus wasn't sure why he hadn't yet tired of this nonsense and left, but found that he still couldn't leave when Gilderoy pulled back the very hem of his left sleeve to reveal an expensive-looking watch pointing in every which way. "Hour hand means gay, minute means straight and second means other. Got it for Christmas. Damn useful, but not particularly good in the way of telling time…" mused Lockhart, never taking his eyes away from Remus'.
"So what do you say?"
Remus was on the point of saying no when Gilderoy brought out his last resort. As his eyes took in the flash of bright teeth and a twinkle of the eye, it was as if his mouth was on autopilot, as, for some reason, the words coming out weren't 'no' at all. They were, "where shall we meet?"
Sirius growled insistently, failing to attract Remus' attention even as they walked away, but seeing ,as he glared behind him, Lockhart throw him a mock-scared look before walking away jauntily, a pleased little grin fixed on his attractive face. Say what you will about petty jealousy, Sirius would deny that being the real reason for his growls till the day he died. No, the jealousy was only half of the reason.
The other half is that he could smell—and was unaffected by—the love potion laced in the brunette's cologne.
A/N yeah… the last bit's goofy, but I felt like I needed a dramatic subplot of some sort right now. I know Gilderoy Lockhart is the WEIRDEST choice ever, but I was looking around the internet for people from the marauder era and when I saw his name, I COULDN'T resist! I almost did Quirrel, though… idk. PLEASE review! XOXOXOXOXOXO