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A/N: Chapter two! Thanks for the favorites and the alerts. . .and just for reading, for that matter! I am also mildly disturbed by how this fic ended up with the Gryffindors being losers and the Hufflepuffs being awesomesauce. Interesting. . .
The best thing about the Sorting is the food. Kurt's pretty sure that he's not the only one who thinks so, not based on the way Mercedes is eagerly clutching her fork, or the way he can see Finn's head swiveling around, looking for the House Elves who will eventually carry the food in. Kurt is far from a pig, but he loves how fresh the greens always are, and the way the water tastes like it's taken directly from mountain snow. Which, this being Hogwarts, it might be.
Watching the first years get sorted into houses. . .Kurt doesn't get that so much. Which puts him in the minority, he knows, since everyone else is excited to know who will be the new blood. Then again, Kurt just doesn't buy the whole house system. After all, some of his best friends are in Ravenclaw, and his frenemy is a Slytherin, and Hufflepuff gets all the hotties. . .
Right. Focus. He's brought his attention back just in time, it turns out, as food suddenly starts winking into existence. Kurt has learned, after several years of living with Finn Hudson, that it is best not to look at the other boy when food is present. It's a sickening sight, how much Finn can fit in his mouth. Not that any of the other boys are any better.
Kurt sighs, and happily helps himself to a large salad. Beside him, Mercedes is wearing a wide smile as she shovels tots onto her plate, heaping them atop treacle tart and who knows what else.
Kurt loves his best friend, but sometimes he just doesn't understand her.
He's just about finished his salad when Figgins stands up, and heads over to the podium. Usually Kurt ignores the Headmaster's speeches. . .they're usually culturally illiterate and practically impossible to understand, anyway. . .but remembering what Mercedes had told him earlier, he's actually interested.
"Excuse me. . .excuse me, is this. . .oh," Figgins said all of this in his traditional, monotone voice. Mercedes giggled, and Kurt felt obliged to elbow her in the side, even though he couldn't quite restrain his own smile. "Right. A few announcements before you all get off to bed – no shenanigans, Weasleys!" at this, Rose Weasley rolled her eyes, while Hugo just shrugged. "The first announcement. . .the Quidditch pitch is currently being repaired. There will be no Quidditch for the next week. Second, we have a new teacher joining us to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. . .Holly Holliday. And third, I am very proud to announce that this year will be a Triwizard Tournament. So start practicing your spells. . .I want Hogwarts to come out first! That is all."
There's a sound of feedback as Figgins sticks his wand back in his pants (so not a euphemism, Kurt reminds his own brain).
"Triwizard Tournament. . ." James Potter leans back in his chair and whistles. "That sounds kind of awesome. Who's going to enter their names?"
Kurt and Mercedes glance at one another, and instantly break into loud, raucous laughter. The thought of either of them submitting a name is just ridiculous. Trying to get a solo in the Yule Ball performance, sure. Trying to get a spot in a tournament that's likely to make you end up in the hospital, or is certain to ruin a good hair day? Not hardly.
"I think I'll enter. . ." James muses, and now, the little smidgeon of interest that Kurt had been entertaining is gone. Because there's no way James won't be chosen. He's confident, talented (beautiful! The ever observant gay portion of his brain chimes in) and he's the son of the famous Harry Potter. And besides James, there are plenty of other more qualified wizards and witches. Artie, for instant, who's easily the brightest wizard of their class. Or. . .
His eyes slide, almost against his volition over to the Hufflepuff table, where he notices dancing hazel eyes. He coughs. Right. Point being that there are plenty of more qualified witches and wizards.
That night, though, while lounging in front of the fire in the common room, Mercedes came up to him, and laid down at his feet. "So. . ." she said slowly. "I've been thinking about this tournament. . .are you sure you don't want to enter?"
Kurt snorts. "Mercedes, do you remember what happened at the last tournament? All of the Champions ended up in the hospital, and it ended in a draw. I'm pretty sure I don't want to enter."
"Yeah," Mercedes said with a sigh, stretching her arms out over her head. "But it would be kind of nice. . .eternal glory, and all that."
Kurt reached down and grabbed his best friends hand. "Please, Mercedes, you'll have eternal glory anyway, after you drop your first single and start touring the world as the greatest Witch Diva ever." Mercedes giggled at that.
James poked his head out from the boys' dormitory. "Oy! Curfew!" he yelled. "We don't want any babies being made in the Gryffindor common room!"
Kurt rolled his eyes, and Mercedes pat his hand gently. "Maybe you should come out," she said. Kurt shook his head.
"Boo, I think it's pretty obvious. I make enough of a spectacle as it is. If they're too dumb to see the rather obvious signs. . ."
Mercedes shrugged. "Okay," she said. "Maybe if you wore the boa with the kilt they'd catch on."
"Protection!" James yelled.
Xxx
Kurt was practically bouncing on his feet. It was the first day of Magical Lyricism, and Professor Schuester was late. Not a surprise, really, since Mr. Schuester was almost always late, but still. The room had divided among its normal lines, with all the girls on one side, all the boys on the other, and Kurt bridging the gap. He tried to focus on the story Tina was telling him. . .something about Mike's abs. And normally, anything to do with a boy's abs would have Kurt's full attention, but Finn and Sam had already come in. . .without Blaine.
Here's the thing that has to be understood: Kurt is not a stalker. He is not, in fact, obsessed with Blaine. He has a little, itty bitty crush, that just might have started when they first met on the train, his very first year. He didn't picture their future together, and he definitely didn't name their future children. After he got used to being at Hogwarts again, to seeing the other boy every day, the rush of feelings would gradually subside and he would return to being a normal, hormonal gay teenager that wanted to jump every mildly attractive boy that walked by.
But the only way he could get over the rush of seeing Blaine again after three long, long months without any contact, was to have a class with him. And since Blaine was in a different house and a different year, the only time that their paths intersected was in Magical Lyricism. So he needed Blaine to be in the class.
Also, Blaine was a good singer. Which wasn't the point of the class, exactly, but it sure didn't hurt.
"And that," Tina said proudly. "Is why I dumped Artie for Mike."
"Good for you, girl," Mercedes said. "Don't you think so, Kurt?"
"I. . .uh, yeah. Sure."
Okay, so he wasn't doing such a hot job pretending to pay attention.
"Hey," Rachel said, as though just realizing something. "Where's Blaine? As I recall, he was the only male vocal with talent enough to challenge me to reach new heights. He didn't drop out, did he?"
All of the other girls shrugged, and Kurt joined in. Rachel frowned, and narrowed her eyes, before flouncing across the room.
"Excuse me," she said. Kurt glanced over. She was talking to Finn, and he remembered, with a sudden drop in his stomach, the hopeless crush that she had on his stepbrother. The degree of pathetic that he was when it came to Blaine? Multiply that by 700,000 and throw in a Bat-Bogey Hex and that was Rachel Berry when it came to Finn Hudson. "Excuse me, Finn. Where is Blaine?"
"I don't know," Finn said, sounding surprised. He glanced around, as if just noticing for the first time that one of his two best friends wasn't there. "He was right behind us."
Rachel raised one eyebrow, crossed her arms, and tapped her foot.
"Seriously," Sam said, backing the other boy up. "We were walking over here from Hagrid's."
"Well," Rachel said with a sniff. "You should really work at keeping a better grip on your more talented counterparts." With that she flounced over and sat down beside the other girls, though her face looked worried. She needn't have worried, though, for less than a minute later Blaine walked through the door, looking a little harried. Professor Schuester was less than a step behind him.
"Hey, guys!" Professor Schuester said, waving energetically. "Hope that everyone had a terrific summer, and is ready to get back to some magical, musical learning!" Professor Schuester could be horribly corny at times, but that didn't keep a wide smile from painting itself across his face. "I've got a great lesson for today. In fact, I was just talking to Blaine about it on the way in. Pretty great, right?"
Blaine smiled, all even teeth and dapper charm. "Absolutely, sir," he said.
"Great. Now then, you're all immensely talented in here. . ." As Professor Schuester began to speak, Rachel preened, and Kurt promptly lost interest. The professor unfailingly wrote the theme of the lesson on the whiteboard, anyway, so he really only had to tune in at the end.
"Outside of love potions, there's only one other way to make people fall in love," Professor Schuester said.
"Show them your abs?" Mike asked.
"Garner sympathy with your physical deformity?" Artie suggested.
"Amaze them with the power of your voice?" Rachel piped in.
"Um. . .yes. That one," Professor Schuester said, a little uncertainly, pointing his wand in Rachel's direction. "The power of the ballad. Now, you sixth years will remember that we did this last year, with joy. Imparting joy through performance, but this year we're going to ramp it up."
Rachel's hand immediately shot into the air. "Professor Schuester, although this sounds like an interesting and educational lesson, mightn't it be a bit inappropriate for you to cause a student to fall in love with you by the power of demonstration?"
Everyone stared at her for a long, long moment. Kurt wondered what school she'd been going to for the past five years, that she wasn't used to professor's doing all kinds of horribly inappropriate things to better "teach" their students. Professor Schuester shook off his surprise, however, and smiled.
"Maybe," he admitted. "Which is why I was going to have one of our most talented students attempt it."
Rachel began preening again, and Kurt rolled his eyes. She was only a fifth year, and hadn't even learned the joy lesson. There was no way he was going to call on her.
Sure enough, it was Blaine who was called to the front of the room. He just shrugged, a little abashed, when Finn and Sam began wolf-whistling. Kurt just sat back in his chair, and clapped his hands atop his thighs. He was certain that this would be a very enjoyable lesson.
"Now, let's see," Professor Schuester glanced at everyone in the room. "To really demonstrate the power of this song, we need to have you sing to someone who absolutely and positively does not love you. Does anyone here not love Blaine at all?"
Finn's hand instantly rose into the air, and Professor Schuester sighed.
"Even as a friend, Finn. Even if you just love him as a friend, keep your hand down."
There was a strange, tickling feeling in Kurt's stomach. What did he do? If he raised his hand he was saying that he didn't care, but if he kept it down he was implying. . .luckily his problem was solved when Mike Chang raised his hand.
"No offense," he told Blaine ("none taken," was the response) "but I don't really know you."
"Perfect!" Professor Schue grabbed Blaine's hand, and positioned it so that he was pointing at Mike. "Now then, you're going to maintain eye contact with him for the entire song. Keep your wand focused on him, and think only of love."
"All right," Blaine said, and he actually sounded a little nervous. "But, um. . .I've never actually been in love, so. . ."
"Not a problem," Professor Schuester said. "Just think of things you love, or people you love. It doesn't have to be romantic. Just let the song, and your voice, do all the work."
Blaine took a deep breath, and Kurt leaned forward in anticipation.
"Before you met me, I was all right
But things were kind of heavy, you brought me to life
Now every February, you'll be my valentine. Valentine."
The effect was almost instantaneous. Before Blaine had even finished the first verse, Mike was leaning forward, his eyes practically transformed into the shape of hearts, his mouth hanging slightly open. Blaine smiled, obviously pleased with his success, and for a moment glanced over at Finn and Sam before returning his gaze to Mike.
"Lets go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I, we'll be young forever"
Blaine was getting into the song now, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, snapping his fingers. Mike's head was tilted as he stared at the other boy dreamily, and now Finn and Sam both had flushed cheeks. Blaine turned and captured Kurt's eyes. He didn't even have to open his mouth, and Kurt was under his spell.
Although, Kurt acknowledged, he'd been under the other boys spell since that day on the Hogwarts Express.
"You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream
The way you turn me on, I can't sleep
Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back"
Tina, apropos of nothing, began to cry. Artie placed a hand over his heart and began to breath in light, fast pants. Rachel began fanning herself, and Mercedes began biting her nails, looking horribly excited. Blaine's grin just grew.
Ngah, Kurt thought, a little unintelligibly.
"We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach
Got a motel room, built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece
I'm complete"
He finished that last verse staring straight into Kurt's eyes. The world suddenly went grey and fuzzy. He was pretty sure that his feet were moving, but he couldn't feel them. All that he could see, in a swirling tunnel of light, was Blaine's face. Those dark eyelashes, those full, full lips. . .
The next thing he knew he was lying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. A ring of worried faces encircled him.
"Oh my God," Blaine breathed. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. . ."
"Give him space," Professor Schuester ordered, and everyone backed up, except Mercedes, who helped him to a sitting position. Kurt put a hand to his head, which was ringing more than just a little.
"What happened?" He asked. Blaine and Professor Schuester shared a guilty, nervous look.
"Blaine is. . .uh. . .more talented than anticipated," Professor Schuester said. "He didn't even get to the end of the second verse and every one of you was totally under his spell."
"Dude, so not true!" Finn protested. Mercedes shot him a sassy look.
"White boy, you were about ready to punch Kurt when they kissed."
Wait. . .they kissed?
They kissed and he missed it?
His life really sucked sometimes.
"Blaine, I am so, so sorry," he said, turning to stare at the other boy (correction: the love of his life) with wide eyes. "I didn't mean to. . ."
"Hey," Blaine said, comfortingly. "It wasn't your fault. If anything, I should be apologizing to you."
"Actually," Rachel said spitefully. "If it's anybody's fault, it's Professor Schuester's. He's the educational supervisor in this room, and should be carefully planning his lessons to result in optimal educational impact, rather than emotional destabilization."
"She's right," Professor Schuester said with a sigh. "I'll have to be more careful in the future. Blaine, I'm sorry, I forgot how talented you are."
Blaine blushed a little at that. Rachel just rolled her eyes.
"Okay, then," Professor Schuester said. "I think that's enough for today. Class dismissed."
Kurt stayed sitting on the floor, and just watched as Finn, Sam, and Blaine walked out together, the two taller boys mocking the other for having so many people in love with him. Mercedes pulled at his arm, but he didn't quite feel like moving yet.
"Um. . .Professor Schuester," she said slowly. "I'm not sure you quite took all the spell off of Kurt."
That got him up quickly. He grabbed his best friend's sleeve and practically dragged her out of the room. He definitely did not need to hear his teacher's response to that accusation.
A/N: Oh, Kurt, hopelessly pining. Oh, Rachel, always sticking her nose in everything. Oh, Mr. Schuester, always such a bad teacher. Oh, Blaine, always so dapper. Oh, Fainam friendship, always so awesome. Next chapter: Blaine. . .gay or straight? Also, enter DADA, the Goblet of Fire and. . .Beauxbatons and Durmstang! Huzzah!