13:57

A/N: Enter. . .Jesse st. James! Who, despite not having been around for ANY of season 2, has somehow, inexplicably, become my favorite character. Weird. . .

Kurt was a little wary when he walks into Defense Against the Dark Arts for the first time. He hadn't originally signed up for the class – there was a long history of psychotic teachers, werewolves, etc. etc. teaching – but when he'd seen the unthreatening-looking blond woman who was in charge, he'd figured that he might as well give it a shot.

He wasn't so sure that was the best decision, when he walked in only to see a figure clothed entirely in black at the front of the room. It didn't help that the class was shared with Slytherin. Though Kurt couldn't care less about the House cup, everybody else quite obviously did, and the biggest rivalry was still between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Which was made even more ridiculous by the fact that Ravenclaw had won for the last four years.

Anyway. Beside the point. Because the point, of course, was that there was a seriously deluded woman standing in front of their class, dressed like a dementor. At least Kurt thought that's what she was trying to dress as. He hoped she wasn't trying to be chic, because bitch, please.

"That's our teacher?" Rachel asks, her nose in the air as usual. "She certainly is dressed. . .in an interesting manner."

"Lay off, Rachel," Mercedes said. "You've been in a snit all day. Get over yourself."

"Just because you don't understand the pressures of being a star doesn't mean. . ."

"She's right," Kurt butted in. "You've really been insufferable. Even for you. What's going on?"

Rachel leaned over, looking as though she were ready to tell the biggest secret ever, when Holly Holliday suddenly yelled

"BOO!"

Kurt jerked back in his seat. He shouldn't have been so terrified, he really shouldn't, but it was a bit unexpected. Professor Holliday cackled a little at the looks on everyone's faces.

"Wow," she said, "if that scared you, I hate to think what would happen if you saw a real dementor. You'd probably all wet your pants."

"That's disgusting," little Sunshine Corazon said. Kurt lifted an eyebrow as Rachel glared at the other girl. Rumor was that Sunshine wasn't in Musical Lyricism this year due entirely to some kind of tiff she and Rachel had gotten into over the summer. Kurt wondered who had won. Sure, Rachel was in the class, but he'd always assumed that Sunshine was the scrappier of the two.

"Anyway," Professor Holliday said. "Today we're going to learn about Dementors. I hear that this wasn't covered in your earlier curriculum?"

It took less than a second for Rachel's hand to be raised high in the air.

"Yes, Ms. . .Berry?"

"Our former professors believed that a lesson on Dementors was too dangerous, and I am inclined to agree," Rachel said. "Besides which, the Aurors are hunting down all of the remaining Dementors, and trying to secure them. So there are probably more viable things that we should be learning."

"Hmm. . ." Professor Holliday seemed to consider this. "I take it you're the annoying girl that nobody likes. So then, let's learn about dementors!"

xxx

"Weirdest day ever?" Mercedes asked at dinner that night. Kurt nodded and tried to pull his face up from where it was currently resting on his folded hands. He was still feeling horribly depressed, cold, and empty from the Defense Against the Dark Arts class.

"Weirdest day ever," he agreed.

He couldn't even watch with interest as a few houseelves dragged a massive, flaming goblet into the room. Figgins pointed at it and started talking, but as per usual hed forgotten to lift the wand to his throat. It didn't matter, though. . .Kurt was certain that every student at Hogwarts knew what was being said. Fifth, sixth, and seventh years were invited to submit their names. Kurt let his face fall to the table in defeat.

"Yeah. . ." Mercedes sighed. "You were definitely right. . .we're totally not cut out to put our names in the Goblet."

"Truer words, were never spoken," Kurt agreed.

He thought he'd probably be perfectly happy to fall asleep right there, weird table marks on his cheek be damned. He probably would have, too, if a heavy hand hadn't suddenly fallen on his back.

"Hey, bro," Finn said, his breath so close that it tickled Kurt's ear. "You okay?"

"Fine," Kurt mumbled into the table. He lifted one hand and waved it at his step-brother. "Now leave me alone."

"Dude. . .dinner's over," Finn said. "Do you need help getting back to your room?"

"Nurgh," Kurt said. He could practically hear Finn's shrug, as his step-brother lumbered off. Mercedes tapped him on the shoulder.

"I'm going to bed," Mercedes said. "Are you coming?"

"Nurgh," Kurt said. It was, apparently, a very convincing noise, since Mercedes also left him. When the room was completely silent, Kurt rolled his head to one side, the better to stare at the goblet.

Eternal glory did sound nice. . .but he couldn't stomach the idea of completing any of the tasks that had been in previous tournaments. There were dragons, hippogriffs, angry mermaids, giants. . .no, it really wasn't his cup of tea. He wondered if Rachel would put her name in. It seemed like the kind of thing she would do, always wanting to be the best.

As he lay there, silent beneath the twinkling lights of the ceiling, he watched a stream of Slytherins walk by, dropping tiny slips of paper into the cauldron. James dropped in his name, of course, as did the entire Gryffindor Quidditch team.

It must have been around midnight when Sam arrived in the room. The light from the goblet shone eerily off his bleached hair, giving it a mysterious quality. Kurt blinked sleepily. He probably should be getting to bed. . .McGonagall would throw a fit if she found him in the morning, asleep at their table.

He had just decided to make the effort to stand, when he felt warm hands pull him back from the table. Instantly stiffening, he turned to look at whoever had grabbed him.

"Hey," Blaine said, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled. "You okay, there?"

"I'm fine," Kurt said, but even just turning his head caused a crick in his neck to scream out. He must have winced, because Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, right," he said. "Stay here for a minute, and then I'll help you back to your room."

That was when Kurt noticed the small piece of paper clasped in the other boys hand. Sure enough, Blaine gave him a little pat on the hand, before briskly walking to the goblet and dropping the paper in. It disappeared with a sizzle and a snap, and before Kurt even had time to process, Blaine was at his side again.

"All right," Blaine said. "Up and at'em. Let's get you back to your dorm before you get in trouble for being out past curfew."

"I'll just say I was submitting my name," Kurt said smartly. He didn't need help, he really didn't. Though. . .it did feel nice, the way Blaine's arm had snuck around his waist, and was supporting part of his weight. A little awkward, because Blaine was shorter than him, but still. Nice.

Blaine smelled nice, too. Like cinnamon, and expensive cologne. Kurt couldn't help but sneak peeks at the other boy, as they maneuvered their way up the stairs. It absolutely wasn't fair for a straight boy to be so delicious.

"There we go," Blaine said, depositing Kurt in front of his common room. "Back where you belong, safe and sound."

"Thanks," Kurt said. He glanced at Blaine's eyes. "I'm really sorry. About kissing you."

"Don't worry about it," Blaine said. "Really, it was my fault for losing concentration during the song. Besides. . .it's not like I've never kissed a boy before." With a wink, he turned and walked down the hallway.

Wait. . .Kurt sagged against the door. Blaine had kissed a. . .what?

Xxx

Rachel joined them for breakfast in the morning, ignoring all of the shocked glances directed toward a Slytherin sitting in the middle of a row of scarlet and gold. Kurt had sent Pavarotti out with an emergency message to all of his girls. Tina had sadly informed him that she had to sit with her House, but absolutely nothing – not even school rules – was going to keep Rachel from getting in with the gossip.

"Look," Mercedes said, spearing a hash brown with the end of her mouth. "Just because he's kissed a guy doesn't mean he's gay. I've kissed girls, and I'm not a lesbian."

"Really?" Rachel leaned forward, looking interested. "Who have you kissed? I've only ever kissed Blaine. Well, and Sam, but that doesn't really count, because everybody's kissed Sam."

"I haven't," Mercedes said with a frown. Kurt held up his hand.

"Wait, back up. . .you kissed Blaine?"

"Yes, of course," Rachel said, looking surprised. "I thought you knew."

"You kissed the most beautiful, popular, talented boy at the school and didn't even tell us?" Kurt pouted. "When?"

"Ages ago," Rachel said. She frowned at Mercedes, who was currently dipping a French toast stick into a vat of maple syrup. "My first year, I think. Anyway, it didn't go anywhere. He told me I wasn't his type."

"Ah," Kurt said, nodding his head wisely. "Because you don't have a Y chromosome."

"Or because he likes a little chocolate thunder!" Mercedes shouted. "Am I right? Am I right?"

Kurt and Rachel just stared at her, identical expressions on their faces. Mercedes was forced to high five herself.

Figgins chose that opportunte time to head up to the main podium. Before he even had a chance to begin speaking, Professor Schuester handed him a wand, clearly with a spell already on it.

"Oh, thank you," Figgins said, speaking directly into the thing. "Right. A few announcements, first. Moaning Myrtle has left the girl's bathroom and has made her way into the Hufflepuff prefects bathroom. Also, one of Hagrid's giant spiders is wandering around the basement of the castle, so please try to avoid that. And finally, we are proud to welcome the lovely ladies of Beauxbatons and the dapper gentlemen of Durmstrang to our hallowed halls."

As Figgins finished his ever-underwhelming speech (during which, Kurt noticed, Blaine and Sarah, the other Hufflepuff prefect, looked horrified), the doors at the end of the Great Hall blew open. Kurt gasped, and spun around, craning his neck to try and see who was coming in.

Only three girls walked in, which was somewhat surprising. Kurt had expected an entire class, or at least enough to field a Quidditch team. Although, he had to admit, the three girls who walked in were almost breath-takingly beautiful. Like angels, really. Sexy, sexy angels. And that was coming from a gay kid.

They were all dressed immaculately in blue suits, and they glided as they swirled forward. A blond led them, flanked on her left by a thin, fiery looking Latina, and on her right by another willowy blond. Kurt snapped his jaw shut. Maybe he'd been too fast to jump on the gay bandwagon. Maybe he swung both ways. . .there was a low wolf whistle from down the Gryffindor table. When Kurt glanced that way, he saw James staring appreciatively, his jaw hanging open a little. Kurt's mouth quirked a little. The three girls were blowing kisses now, the Hispanic girl lifting her skirt a little, and the taller blonde practically skipping. Kurt shook his head. They had to have some veela blood in them. . .it was the only explanation.

Over at the Hufflepuff table Finn, Sam, and Blaine all had equally poleaxed expressions on their faces. When all three of the Beauxbatons girls turned toward that table and winked in unison, Blaine started fanning Finn, while Sam's eyebrows rose so high that they nearly disappeared into his hairline.

"They're so pretty," Mercedes muttered. Rachel sniffed.

"They probably have no talent. Too used to getting by on their looks."

It wasn't until the girls sat down (at the still eerily empty Slytherin table – Rachel shot them a dirty glare) that Kurt remembered the Durmstrang boys. He swiveled around again to stare at the door.

Nothing happened for a long moment, before finally a cold breeze flew through the house. Kurt gasped. It was only September, so the weather outside was still relatively warm. But the wind blowing through the Great Hall was as chilly as December.

And then they came in.

Kurt stopped breathing.

It was him.

In all his rock star glory.

His jeans were tight.

His smile was blinding.

And his hair. . .dear God, his hair was tumbling around his face in perfectly arranged, perfectly gelled glory. Kurt sighed, and heard that same sigh echoed by the girls at all the tables around the Great Hall. Jesse st. James, the greatest wizard singing sensation ever. And he was even more beautiful in person than he was on the Floo Network, or in magazines or. . .

Kurt though his eyes might be crossing a little bit.

There were two other guys behind him, a hulking pair that represented everything that Kurt had always assumed Durmstrang students were. An entire school full of Beaters, really.

"Oh my God," Mercedes breathed. "He's so dreamy."
"Hunky," Rachel agreed.

"Sexy."

"Swoon-worthy."

"Gorgoeous."

"Talented."

"Hot," Kurt said finally. "So. . .so. . .hot."

Just as he said that, Jesse st. James turned his face and made eye contact with him. The world didn't stop, and Kurt didn't faint. Because there was a moment. . .just a brief moment, when their eyes met, that Kurt got a flash. . .Jesse's eyes were cold and blank, and it didn't matter that his teeth were perfectly shaped and that his smile lit up the room, because they didn't light up his eyes. But then the flash was gone, and Kurt was back to staring at a perfect body, and perfect hair.

It was probably just an aftereffect from Professor Holliday's lesson, that was all.

A/N: Reviews are love! Please? Also. . .I love Kurt the Horny Teenage Boy. Let's count the guys he's checked out so far. Blaine, check. Sam, check. Jesse, check. Cedric's picture, check. IS NOBODY SAFE?

Coming Soon: The Champions are announced, Kurt avoids Quidditch, and Blaine might be gay! Or not. Hmmmmm