The days confuse me. I wake, tired and depressed of the life, the lie that consumes me. Why did I think Robin, a man who is free to do as he pleases, would understand being caged! I tried to talk to him, but all he did was try to dampen my fire of freedom. The expectation of me as a lady is to sit at home and mend garments. Something I will always be in evasion of. If Robin was not such an idiot, then we would have been married by now. I would not have to spend my days as 'Lady Gisbourne'. Father is determined to poke and prod me in any way to his advantage. Or at least that's what I thought.
I went to the Abyss today. She was my last resort of a place of peace and a space to breathe. It is better to be a woman of God, than 'Lady Gisbourne'. I was persistent and the Abyss allowed me to join her, on her way back to Roughed. Guy was waiting outside the chapel for me and his harsh tone stopped me as I walked by. He is like a book. Most cannot read him, but for those who can, it is easy to tell what is on the next page without a mere glance. His pages filled with hatred and fury. Such feelings are untameable. I do not wish to bare the task of taming a lion to be a lamb.
I told father of my departure and was about to leave, when he accepted my terms. I am not sure he is done trying to shape me….but I believed him when he said 'I realised the daughter I have, was the daughter I wanted.' He told me that after Guy came. Father has agreed to protect me from people such as him and I am glad he is finally on my side. Guy was happy with the fact that I did not leave. I began to tune out but then he mentioned how the Abyss was a fake and my ears pricked up. Father loves me just the way I am. I finally feel accepted by the person who loves me most.
I don't think this was a very good effort to be honest. I am very tired of late (ugh beginning to talk like I write!). Disappointing me only got 1 review last time I wrote! So this one is going out to Fra ITA because I love her reviews and she is an amazing writer! I will write as soon as I can but it will be a while before I get a spare moment! Happy Halloween everyone! More you review, more I post!