Independence Day Extravaganza: Some Assembly Required

Slowly walking down the hall.
Faster than a cannonball.
Where were you while we were getting high?

Ferb tossed and turned as the alarm clock continued to emit its increasingly annoying cacophony of sounds engineered solely for the purpose of rousing anyone still asleep in the room. It wasn't for the sake of more sleep that he resisted its call; he was in fact quite awake. Rather, it was supposed to be Phineas' duty to turn the blasted device off since it was on his side of the room; yet another duty he was now in dereliction of.

"For crying out loud, Phineas," Ferb yelled, finally hitting his limit. He armed himself with a pillow and glared across the room. "Turn off the bloody-"

Ferb stopped mid-sentence and saw that Phineas' bed was both empty and already made. He grumbled to himself as he trudged across the room and turned the alarm clock off on his own. He then stopped and looked at Phineas' bed while he once again pondered his brother's whereabouts and actions since the previous night.

'Gone again already,' he thought to himself. 'I know he came back late last night, I woke up just enough to notice him creep into the room. I wish I'd have been able to wake up enough to find out what he was up to last night. Maybe Candace or someone else saw him this morning.'

Ferb quickly went through his morning routine and hurried downstairs. As fortune had it, Candace was just pouring her first cup of coffee as she looked over a list of menu options for her wedding receiption.

"Morning Ferb," she said without looking at him. "How're the party plans coming?"

"They'd be going better if Phineas were around," Ferb told her as he set to making some toast for himself. "Have you seen him this morning?"

Candace had to stop and think for a moment about it. "Now that you mention it, I haven't. Of course, that may not count for much since I'm pretty pre-occupied right now."

Ferb had to restrain himself from pounding the kitchen counter with a fist. "Blast it all! Where did he go off to?"

"Why not just call him? He's got to have his cell phone on him."

"No, my guess is he's trying to be secretive on purpose. Odds are he wouldn't answer me even if I called him incessantly, and I don't have the time to waste on that."

"Well if I see or hear from him before you, I'll read him the riot act. Check in with Isabella before you do anything else, though. Maybe she's seen or heard from him."

"Good idea, thanks Candace."

"Hey, if you really want to thank me then give me your opinion: roast beef or chicken cordon bleu for an entrée choice for the wedding reception?"

"I'd go with the chicken, myself. It's a bit more sophisticated while still being a familiar dish to people."

"So noted. Thanks!"

Ferb finished preparing and eating his breakfast in record time and then headed out from his house to seek out Isabella. He didn't have to search too much for her, as she appeared from her house just as he finished crossing the street.

"Let me guess," he said as she approached. "You haven't seen or heard from Phineas since yesterday either, have you?"

Isabella shook her head at him, a worried expression on her face. "This really isn't like him, Ferb. Why isn't he answering anyone?"

"I'd like to think my brother has a particularly good reason for this, but I'm so used to him conferring with me first on anything that I can't help but have a bad feeling about it."

"This calls for some emergency assistance," Isabella said, quickly producing her cell phone.

"Who're you calling? Gretchen? Ginger?"

"Nope, we need some professional assistance."

Isabella sent off a quick text message and, just as she was putting her phone away, Melissa rode up on her bicycle dressed in her Fireside Girls uniform. She hopped off and saluted Isabella crisply.

"Reporting as ordered," Melissa said.

"That was unrealistically fast," Ferb commented.

"I've got my 'Early Responder' patch," Melissa said proudly.

"Melissa, I need you and the troop to see if you can track down Phineas," Isabella told her. "He's been MIA since last night and we can't seem to contact him at all."

"I'll station the girls around town and we'll report in if we see any sign of him," Melissa replied.

Isabella smiled warmly at her protégé. "Thanks, Melissa. I'll be sure to make it worth your guys' while at the party tomorrow."

Melissa quickly grabbed her phone and hit one of her speed dial buttons. "Suzy, get the girls together and meet me at the lodge ASAP. We've got a high-priority mission."

Melissa quickly saluted Isabella again and then took off on her bike for the Fireside Girls lodge. Isabella sighed contentedly as she watched her ride off.

"So young and full of life," she commented. "That sure takes me back."

"If you're done reminiscing, we should probably get on with business," Ferb said. "How's food prep coming?"

"We've got a good menu assembled. We're gonna start assembling things today for ease of cooking and setup tomorrow."

"Good. If you can, call Holly for me and tell her to continue working on the music lists as she can. I hate to monopolize her time like this, but I don't have much choice."

"I guess I can do that, but why not call her yourself?"

"I've got another pressing matter I need to be ready for today."

"This has something to do with whatever Django talked to you about last night, doesn't it?"

"Indeed. Sorry to impose on you further as well, Isabella."

"It's no big thing. I'll call her up in a bit here for you."

Ferb thanked her again and headed back to his home to await Django's call. Hopefully Django had gotten some decent sleep that night so he would be easier to talk to, and more importantly, get straightened out about how best to handle things with Adyson at the party.

A magnificent yawn escaped from Ferb as he sat with his head propped on his hand while Django continued to pick through clothing racks looking for something – anything in fact – that might improve his image. Ferb had anticipated that, being a guy, clothes shopping with Django would have only taken ten or fifteen minutes at most. They were now well into their second hour and no closer to finding an acceptable solution than when they began. As it turned out, Django's eye for art made him incredibly fussy when it came to new clothes. Not to mention that thanks to Jenny's influence he was also terribly averse to clothes not made at least mostly from natural fabrics.

"I think we'll have to hit another store," Django said disappointedly. "There's almost nothing worth even trying on here."

"I think if we hit another store there is going to be a murder-suicide," Ferb told him somewhat menacingly, his eye twitching slightly as he spoke. "It's a Fourth of July party, Django. It's not like you're preparing to meet the queen."

"I just want to give Adyson a good impression of me for once. No matter what I say or do she always comes back to how I look. Maybe if I surprise her like this it'll change her mind."

"Do you honestly think Adyson is the sort of person whose mind could be changed simply because you're wearing clothes you're not comfortable in? I was of the impression that it was precisely that sort of girl you were trying to steer clear of, since you've told us all time and again about the superficiality of girls in California."

Django sighed dejectedly as he turned to look into a nearby mirror. "I guess you have a point. But…what am I supposed to do, then, Ferb? How am I supposed to change her mind?"

Ferb stood up and smoothed out his own clothing as he took a couple steps towards his friend. "What makes you think her mind will need changing?"

"Dude, you weren't there on Friday. I could tell from what she said and how she said it; she's gonna shoot me down."

"Again, you're basing this on the girls you've tried to date in the past. And again, you yourself have made it abundantly clear that you think- no, that you know that Adyson isn't like those girls."

"What're you getting at, Ferb," Django asked, clearly annoyed with him at this point. "I brought you along to help me out here and all you've done is to basically tell me that I'm going about this all wrong."

"That is exactly my point, and I think it's far more helpful than trying to pick out some ridiculous outfit that doesn't suit you."

Django looked away from him. "Yeah, well, that's not the kind of help I wanted."

"Tough. You came to me, remember? I'm not interested in giving useless help. What I am interested in is getting you to get your head straight about this."

Django growled a bit as he whirled on the British teen. "And what makes you such an expert on screwed up romantic feelings? Why are you so supposedly knowledgeable about this kind of thing?"

That was the straw that broke the camel's back for Ferb. "Because nobody bloody knows better about screwed up romantic feelings than me!"

Django had to take a step back as he had never seen Ferb actually get angry before. Ferb turned to look in the mirror himself as he recalled the events of one particular day the prior year.

"Last year after Phineas and Isabella finally got together, I suddenly found myself quite lonesome," he said as he began his story. "I was left out of a number of things he did; necessarily, of course. I couldn't exactly just tag along on their dates. It was unbearable to me. I may be a good builder, but Phineas is the creative genius and without him I languished.

"One day when they were on a date, Candace treated me to lunch and I ran into someone…someone I'd had feelings towards for years. She was much older than me, but that had never stopped me from liking her. As I talked to her, though, I began to realize that she was nothing like what my image of her had been. At the moment, though, that didn't really seem to matter all that much to me. I was so lonesome that I started trying to convince myself that maybe if I changed myself to match what she was looking for in a romantic partner it could all work out between us somehow.

"That was until she revealed herself to be the embodiment of practically every quality that I loathe. She was haughty, judgmental, egotistical, and ignorant. Only then did I realize that even if turning myself into that kind of person would win her over, I would lose any sense of who I was in the process. I would be just as lonesome as I already was, only I would have given up everything I held dear for the sake of a relationship that would likely have failed before it had even started."

"For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul," Django said in a somewhat detached manner. Ferb looked at him oddly. "Sorry, I took a semester course last year on religious studies. Had to read The Bible for it. That's one of the few good things I got out of that read."

"It's an incredibly fitting quote though," Ferb told him, smiling once again. "And it's what I realized that day. After we had a falling out between us, the older girl walked out of the restaurant…and, presumably, my life. At the very least I haven't seen her since then. Quite frankly that suits me just fine since that very same day I realized I had someone who liked me for who I am. And I liked her for who she was…someone brilliant, beautiful, and genuine."

Django grinned a little and folded his arms. "You know, back in the day I honestly never knew you had a thing for Gretchen, or vice versa."

Ferb laughed lightly. "That's another story for another time, but my point in this story is this: If Adyson either has come to care for you in such a manner, or if she ever will for that matter, it will have been because of who you are; not who you think she wants you to become."

Django sighed heavily as Ferb's final words on the matter sunk in. Finally he briefly laughed sardonically as he smirked at Ferb.

"You know I used to have you pegged as the quiet guy," he told him. "Who knew you had so much to say? Especially about romance."

"I blame Phineas," Ferb replied. "Years of exposure to his incessant chattiness has finally rubbed off on me."

"Speaking of which, where's he at? I didn't see him in the backyard with you guys last night."

"That is the question of the moment, and no one seems to be able to answer it. Isabella has the younger Fireside Girls scouring the area for him. I hope they turn up something, I'm going to need his help to finish everything in time."

"Well if I can be of any help, consider me at your service. It's the least I can do for wasting so much of your time, dude."

"Thanks, Django. Let's get back to my house and check in with Ginger. We'll see where you can help out once she gives me an update."

As they set out for the Flynn-Fletcher home once again, Ferb silently prayed that someone – anyone – had found his brother. His absence was now becoming worrisome, and not just because of the remaining preparations that needed to be done for the party.

"Nothing yet at all," Baljeet asked over his cell phone.

"Melissa is as flustered as we are," Isabella replied from hers. "The girls have scoured and staked out every place Phineas is known to frequent and haven't seen him even once. I'm honestly beginning to panic a bit here."

"As soon as Ferb gets back I'll let him know. We can contemplate contacting the authorities then if we feel it's necessary. For now, let's just continue with our duties for the party."

"I'll do my best. Thanks 'Jeet."

Baljeet ended the call and then banged his head on the keyboard in front of him. It seemed like they were all spending more time fussing over Phineas than doing their work, and it was beginning to exact quite a toll from them all.

Baljeet had made a habit of punishing himself over the years for his own short fallings, but none of what he'd ever subjected himself to compared to the torture of checking the program code he was poring over line by line. Every time he blinked his eyes burned, and his neck was developing crick upon crick from being in the same position for so long. If Phineas were present they would likely already be done, but as it was he was positively grinding through the code.

"That's it," he said aloud to himself. "I have to take a break or this will drive me insane."

Baljeet saved his progress and headed out of Phineas and Ferb's room, feeling an odd breeze in the hall as he walked down the stairs. Upon reaching the kitchen, he considered the refrigerator for a moment.

"I think I remember Candace mentioning there was a new box of ice cream sandwiches in the freezer before she left," Baljeet said. Upon opening the freezer, however, he noticed the box of ice cream sandwiches was open with one missing. "Huh. She probably took one for herself."

Baljeet happily munched on the icy cold treat as he returned to the room. As soon as he entered, however, he almost choked on the bite he'd just taken. Phineas sat at the computer, his fingers flying as he tore through the code at a breakneck pace. An ice cream sandwich hung halfway out of his mouth as he worked furiously.

"I must be seeing things now," Baljeet said, rubbing his eyes. "You're a mirage of Phineas, right?"

Phineas turned to look at him as he consumed the rest of his ice cream sandwich. He looked at Baljeet curiously. "Uh…no. No I'm not, 'Jeet."

"Then how did you get in here?"

"I walked in. It is my room, after all."

Baljeet groaned in frustration. "That's not what I mean! How did you get in here without me seeing you?"

"Oh that. Heh. Sorry, 'Jeet, I don't have time to explain right now. I've got to get things back on track for the party here."

Baljeet stormed over to him and, hands on his hips, leaned over the red-haired teen with an angry expression. "Oh, you think? Ferb's been having a fit since you disappeared last night! Nevermind the fact that Isabella has become all but useless because she's worried about you!"

"Look, I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean to freak everyone out but… I really can't talk about it right now. I made a promise to someone and I can't go back on it."

"A promise to who?"

"Can't say."

"Can't or won't?"

"Take your pick. Either way, I'm not talking about it now. And for that matter, we don't have the time to talk about it."

Baljeet rubbed his face in aggravation. "Fine, but you won't get off so easily when Ferb or Isabella catches up with you."

"I'll deal with that when I have to," Phineas said as he quickly saved the program and set it to compile. He then walked briskly past Baljeet. "Now come on, we've got to check on the girls and help them out next. I think they're just over at Isabella's house."

"Wait, why are you compiling the program? I wasn't even halfway through checking the code before."

"Yeah, I know. I finished your check and then checked it again. We're solid."

"You finished debugging ten thousand lines of code and then re-checked the entire program again in the time it took me to get an ice cream sandwich?"

"Yeah."

Baljeet blinked in disbelief as he simply turned and fell in behind Phineas. "You know, by now I shouldn't be surprised at anything you do, but that still blows my mind."

"What can I say? I'm motivated. Now let's bounce!"

Baljeet jogged to catch up to Phineas as they headed downstairs and departed from the house. Phineas was clearly in an even more energetic mood than usual, and Baljeet suspected it was tied to his unexplained disappearance. Only time would tell if his hunch was right.

"You make it awfully hard to stay angry with you," Ferb commented to Phineas as he looked over the full splendor of their party. It was now mid-afternoon of the Fourth of July and the party had now been in full swing for some time. "I had planned on berating you for at least an hour for your little disappearing act the other day."

"Yeah, well I'm paying for it in more ways than one now," Phineas said in a strained voice as he attempted to sit up in his deck chair again. The muscles in his back, arms, and legs immediately protested and he eased himself back to reclining, wincing all the while.

"You just relax," Isabella told him as she cringed a bit seeing her boyfriend in such pain. "You helped everyone finish all the preparations yesterday and even helped Buford set things up today. You've earned some R&R, Phineas."

"No good deed goes unpunished," Phineas replied while putting a pair of sunglasses on. "I just hope I'll be okay in a little while to walk around or at least dance a bit with you, Izzie."

Isabella smiled and kissed his forehead. "We'll see, but don't force yourself for my sake, okay?"

"Since the party is well underway now, do you want to tell us what's going on now," Ferb asked, sitting next to his brother. "If it's really a secret, you know we can keep it Phineas."

"I know I could trust you guys, believe me I do," Phineas said, looking over at both of them. "But it's like I said, I promised someone I wouldn't say anything to anyone. That included the both of you. Trust me, though; you'll understand soon enough. And it'll be worth the wait."

Ferb sighed and sat back in the chair. "Have it your way, then. I won't ask about it again. But whenever this happens, whatever it is, it really had better be worth everything you put yourself and the rest of us through."

Phineas picked his head up enough to look over at Ferb, a wide grin on his face. "Have I ever let you guys down?"

"He's got you there, Ferb," Isabella added. "Well, I'm gonna mingle for a while. Most of the girls are here. Can I bring you anything, Phineas?"

"A cheeseburger and an iced tea would be awesome," Phineas told her. "No rush, though."

Isabella gave him a quick peck on the cheek and then took her leave of the boys to hunt down her friends. Across the way she spotted Django just stepping past Buford at the security checkpoint. She bit her lower lip and continued on her way, hoping he would have a good enough time at the party to get his mind off of things.

For his part, Django was at least feeling well-rested as he began to make his rounds at the party. He greeted the brothers, talked to all his old friends from the neighborhood, enjoyed some of the music that Holly was queuing up, and ate his fill of the food being provided. None of it, however, was able to get him out of the sense of dread he had for what was coming. Adyson was nothing if not a person of her word, and one way or another Django would soon get an answer to his question from days ago. As time dragged on, and the sun slowly made its way across the sky, he began to worry when Adyson had not been seen by him or anyone else yet.

'Maybe this is my answer,' he thought despondently. 'Maybe her no-showing is how she's telling me she doesn't want me.'

"Everything okay, dude," Phineas asked as he slowly approached his friend near the backyard's tree.

"Not really, but don't worry about me," Django told him. "You doing okay now?"

"I'm still pretty stiff, but I'm at least not as sore as I was earlier. What's got you down, though?"

"It's just…no one's seen Adyson yet, and I'm wondering if she's even going to show up at this point. She said she'd tell me her answer here at the party."

Phineas nodded to his friend and patted him on the shoulder. "I wouldn't worry too much about it. She's bound to show herself sooner or later."

"I wish I had your confidence, man. Or your luck in romance, for that matter."

Phineas had to laugh heartily, causing Django no small amount of confusion. "Dude, trust me, you don't need luck."

Phineas wandered off before Django could ask him what he meant. He was so distracted by the odd comment that he didn't notice the brief, brilliant flash of light just to his right.

"He may be a great friend, but sometimes he can be so random," He said to himself, shaking his head as he did.

"Truer words were never spoken," Adyson added as she watched Phineas walk off as well.

"I know, right," he said as he looked at her briefly before looking back at Phineas. "I mean remember when he- whoa!"

Django stumbled backwards as he suddenly realized that Adyson was standing right next to him. Fortunately, he backed into the tree and was saved from falling over. Adyson turned to face him, her arms behind her back. She had on a deep blue sleeveless blouse, a long white ruffled skirt and white sandals, and a red hairband set atop her head.

"What the…how the…when…but…" Django stammered as he tried to make sense of how she had appeared out of nowhere.

"I'll explain a little later," Adyson told him. She took a deep breath and looked right into his eyes. "It's time to settle things between us, Django. Once and for all."

Next Episode Preview: The conclusion of the Independence Day Extravaganza! What will be Adyson's answer to Django? Heaven, or Hell? Either way, let's rock!