Alright, I am really, really, really sorry this took forever! That's the longest it's taken me to type up a chapter, I swear! I just hit this block and then I got back into writing Halfa Life and, well, I did eventually get back to this. I had to scrap what I had already written, but i finished, and that's what matters, right?
To the wonderful reviewers:
Donteatacowman: hehe, I liked those parts too. You're welcome for the story and thank you for reviewing :D
Kiomori: I wasn't sure if that was a suggestion or not, but I did it anyway :D I'm glad you liked the last chapter so much. Hope this one lives up to it :)
bluegoo2: thanks, and I can't wait for the wedding either. I've got some good ideas *evil laugh* unfortunetly, we'll have to wait until the next chapter.
Athena Fenton: I plan to have Box Lunch be mentioned, but I'm not sure how that'll happen yet. However, I love the idea of Danny giving a speech! I am soo doing that! lol
Peppymint: Thank you :) and the cuffs will come off. Probably next chapter. I can't see them being stuck together for the whole thing anyway. For one, it make things more difficult for me. For two, I have a better idea for Danny.
Shadow their wolf: Yeah, Lance rarily gets any love and he's awsome! Well, he's funny, at least ;)
Hurlebibi: hey, I remember you! :D Glad it made you laugh so much!
Stick fight3: All the ghosts will be there, including the season 3 ones. I don't know how I'm going to give the weather ghost a spot light, but I'll think of something. However, Frostbite will definetly be a big player. I can just see him calling Danny "Great One!" in front of the cameras :D Dan will be there (I think) and the humans are indeed watching. In fact, next chapter may be from their point of view. That's the plan, anyway. Thanks for reviewing!
Dragondancer123: I'm glad it's so fun for you! :) I try to avoid the grammar issues, but eh. I do actually need a beta and it'd be really nice of you ^-^ Thanks! However, it'll have to wait until next chapter because I want to get this one up fast as I can (I was taking too long). Thanks for the advice and offering to be a beta! (warning, though: I don't know how betas work...)
Kiyi15: that's good because I found it pretty funny! :D There's a lot of revealing stories out there and I didn't want to distract this one too much by it. I will, however, make Danny jump through hoops to ensure he doesn't get his secret blown. It's just more fun that way ^-^
MetaliHead2x4, NinjaSheik, Trinity Fenton-Phantom, Dibbzy, deadlydaisy8o8, ThunderRiver411, Felicity, Az The Dragon, and Serial-Doodler: thank you all for the support! I probably would have something more to say to you guys, too, but I'm being rushed. Sorry. And thanks!
You all are wonderful! I'm so sorry again for taking...four months to update! D: Four months? Wow...
I had to ditch the first draft and start all over. I'm not sure how well this turned out, but I like it better than the rough draft. Hope it's still funny!
I don't own Danny Phantom and some ideas belong to the reviewers :)
*Edit 10/26/11*
Chapter 4
Welcome
It wasn't long before the Specter Speeder joined a large crowd of ghosts heading in the same direction. Dora returned to the Speeder. There was no longer a reason to guide Lance to the wedding, seeing as they had a thousand escorts now. It was so crowded amongst the ghosts, it was difficult to see anything besides the ghosts next to and in front of them and Lance wasn't too comfortable with that. So—with Danny's unnecessary permission—he flew the speeder below the crowd. This lead to Danny attempting to give a tour of the Zone.
"And over here is the…the, um…" It wasn't going well.
Dora giggled. "The Sea of Despair, Sir Phantom."
"Right. I knew that." Danny pulled the camera away from the window for a moment to point it at Lance. "You may want to go a little higher now, Mr. Thunder. Sea monster ghosts and all."
Lance's eyes widened and he pulled hard on the handles, sending the Speeder rising almost vertically from the yellow water below. Danny turned the camera back just in time to capture the gruesome sea monster ghost jumping out of the water, its jaws gaping widely in an effort to catch them. It fell harmlessly back into the water with a disappointed look and a splash.
Danny grinned and leaned back in his seat as Lance leveled out. He turned the camera back to the ghosts in the back who were looking extremely bored. "Anything you guys would like to say to the citizens of Amity Park?"
"No," Skulker said simply, not bothering to even glance at the camera. The other ghosts followed suit by shaking their heads, also not sparing more than a glance towards him.
"What? Oh, come on!" Danny cried. "You terrorize the town almost every day, and you can't even say one thing?"
"Nice doing business with you," Ember said nonchalantly.
"Urgh, you're all hopeless." Danny spun back around in his seat with a pout. They were once again surrounded by ghosts and Danny was tempted to try to name them for Amity Park, but decided against it. He was bored as hell, but he wasn't that bored. Yet.
"I hate road trips," he grumbled, lazily watching the ghosts pass them by. He looked back at the ghosts in the Speeder. "Are we almost there yet?"
"At the rate we're going at," Skulker said, making some calculations in his computerized arm, "we should arrive there in—"
"Fifteen minutes," Ember interrupted him, rolling her eyes. Skulker glared half-heartedly at her, but knew better than to comment.
Danny groaned. "Fifteen minutes?" He turned to Lance. "Can we go faster? Please?"
Lance sweated nervously. He really didn't want to. "Um…is that alright with all these…uh, spirits around?"
"They're ghosts, not spirits. Spirits are nearly mindless," Danny corrected gently. "But yes, it's alright. Just go 30 miles per hour. That's still slow, isn't it?"
Lance gulped, but nodded and slowly sped up the Speeder.
"Lance," the voice of his boss spoke up, "what are you doing? Why aren't you asking Phantom any questions? This is the perfect opportunity!"
Lance inwardly groaned, but reluctantly turned a little towards Danny, keeping his eyes securely on the 'Zone' at the same time. "Um, Mr. Phantom."
"It's Danny," Danny corrected lazily, turning the camera to point back at Lance. "Yes?"
"Is…um, is your home around here?" he asked hesitantly, pulling a question out of thin air.
Danny coughed a little in surprise. "Uh, no. Not really."
"Where is it then?"
"Um…that's kind of a secret," Danny said evasively. "Especially with my enemies right behind me…"
The ghosts chuckled a little, which Lance found weird, but didn't question. "Oh. Sorry. Can you tell me something about death?"
"Something about death?" the hero asked in confusion, his brows furrowing.
"Yes." Lance felt himself again relaxing into interview mode. He decided he'd have to do this more often on the trip. "Not much is known about ghosts and where they go when they die. Is there anything you can tell us about the death and 'life' of a ghost?"
Danny started to sweat nervously and looked at Dora for help, his eyes unconsciously getting bigger and pleading. The other ghosts smirked in satisfaction at his helplessness and Youngblood even laughed. Lance frowned, but didn't take his eyes 'off the Zone'.
Dora gave them disapproving looks before nodding at Danny. "Sir Phantom is a very young ghost, so he doesn't know much about the inner workings of the Ghost Zone, Mr. Thunder."
Danny sighed in relief. He smiled gratefully at the princess, who smiled back.
"The child should still be able to answer the basics, though," Skulker said thoughtfully, smirking at Danny's panicked look.
"Yes," Desiree agreed, tapping her chin with a manicured fingernail. "He did 'die' after all. He should know what the process is like, should he not?"
Danny glared harshly at them. He chewed on his bottom lip for long a moment, trying to think up an answer that wouldn't give too much away. In the end, he realized there was no way he could. He didn't know very much about ghosts and he didn't want to say something wrong. Not to mention, he didn't know that much about dying when it came to normal ghosts.
"I…honestly don't know, Mr. Thunder," he finally answered, shifting uncomfortably and grimacing.
Lance pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Oh? Why is that?"
"Because I, uh…I..."
"Because Sir Phantom didn't die in the usual way, Mr. Thunder," Dora explained, again coming to Danny's rescue. "His death didn't happen the way most do."
Lance's ears seemed to perk up, and the voice in his ear started yelling something about gold. "He didn't?"
Danny felt himself tensing and desperately hoped Dora knew what she was doing. He looked at her with wide eyes. The princess caught the look and winked subtly at him. He relaxed slightly, but was still on the edge of his seat.
"No, he didn't, Mr. Thunder. It is what makes him unique compared to most other ghosts."
"Most other ghosts?"
"There are those who died much the same way he did, Mr. Thunder."
"Oh, I see. Please continue, Miss…"
"Your highness, if you please."
"…Uh…right, your…highness."
Danny would have laughed at Lance's puckered expression if his secret wasn't on the line. Lance glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes and Danny forced a smile on his lips. Lance jerked his chin towards the back of the Speeder, causing Danny to raise an eyebrow in confusion. Lance repeated the action, this time looking pointedly at the camera. Danny's mouth formed an "O" and he blushed. Sheepishly, he twisted in his seat to point the camera at Dora.
"Please continue, your highness," Lance said.
Dora nodded demurely to the camera and said, now shyly, "Sir Phantom is a unique ghost, which is why Sir Skulker here hunts him down. He wants to…"
"Rest my pelt at the foot of his bed," Danny supplied with a sarcastic eye roll.
Dora gave a small smile while Skulker glared at Danny. "Yes. That's it."
"But what makes Mr. Phantom so unique?" Lance pressed, the voice of his boss starting to give him a headache… they weren't even to the wedding yet!
"The way he died."
"Yes, I got that," Lance said, his brows furrowing in a frown. "But how did he die?"
Dora gasped-quite convincingly too. "Why, Mr. Thunder!" she exclaimed, shocked. "You never ask a ghost that! It's much too personal! Most ghosts don't react kindly to such personal questions!"
"What?" Lance asked, surprised and slightly afraid that he had insulted Danny Phantom. He tried to get a look at Phantom's face, but the camera was blocking the view. However, the camera was trembling a little, as if Phantom was shaking…trying to control himself. Lance's eyes grew wide and he shouted, "I didn't mean any offense, Mr. Phantom!"
The evil ghosts watched with bored expressions as Danny tried to keep from laughing. He squeezed his eyes shut and said in a strained voice, "D-don't worry, about it-t, M-Mr. Th-Thunder."
"No please, accept my apology!" Lance pleaded.
Danny restrained another chuckle and said, "'K-kay. W-whatever. Apology ac-accepted."
Lance sunk into his seat with a relieved sigh.
"Ah," the voice moaned in his ear. "So close…"
Oh, shut up! Lance thought harshly.
Danny finally regained control of himself. He looked over the camera and gave Lance a bright smile. "Hey, really, don't worry about it, man. It just, uh, brought back some…uh, painful memories."
Lance nodded numbly as he continued flying through the Zone. "Right."
"…Yeah…" Danny shifted uncomfortably. He licked his lips and gave one last look at the drained and slightly depressed looking man before sighing and saying slowly, "It…was an accident."
The ghosts in the back straightened in surprise, but Danny kept his attention on Lance. The weatherman seemed to brighten as he looked at Danny out of the corner of his eye. "An accident?" he questioned.
Danny nodded and looked out the window. "Yup. I was at the wrong place at the right time doing the wrong thing." He grinned a little at Lance. "Good luck trying to make sense of that, though."
Lance nodded thoughtfully.
"Well," his boss said slowly, "it's not the big answer we could have hoped for, but it is something! An accident, huh? Wrong place, right time, wrong action. I wonder what he was doing…"
So do I, Lance thought.
Danny sighed and stretched his left arm, the one not holding the camera up. "Yeah." He looked back at the ghosts and raised an eyebrow. "But, hey. What do you guys do in the Ghost Zone? Besides create evil plots to take over the human world, that is."
Ember snorted and said, "We do more than just that, Baby pop."
"Like what?" Danny urged. "Come on, you guys." He grinned. "Amity Park wants to know what you all do for fun when you're not out terrorizing them."
"I run my kingdom," Dora said slowly.
"Is that it?" Danny asked. He winked at her. "You don't have any time to pamper your ladies in waiting or play with your suitors?"
Dora blushed, but smiled and replied, "Actually, I do that too. In fact, if you lose interest in your human friend, I am sure my ladies in waiting will be thrilled to have you court them."
Danny's face lit up like a tomato. "Dora!" he exclaimed, sounding betrayed.
The ghosts laughed and Lance found himself smiling along.
"You are so innocent, Phantom," Ember commented with a smirk. "Have you even ever been kissed?"
Danny gaped for a moment before shouting, "Of course! I'm sixteen!"
"Fake-out make-outs don't count."
"Uh…"
Skulker chuckled and said, "Yeah, and all of those were with that girl too."
Danny raised an eyebrow and asked, "How do you know that?" He paused, then his eyes widened. "You spy on me?"
"Of course, whelp, what did you think?" Skulker replied, sounding offended. "Part of the hunt is knowing your prey!"
"He overheard your friends talking about it," Ember said in a bored tone. Skulker glared at her, a wounded expression on his helmeted face. Danny relaxed and whispered, "Phew…"
"You seriously never kissed a girl, Phantom?" Youngblood asked as if he couldn't believe the hot-shot teenager had never done so.
"Oh, and you have?" Danny countered.
"Of course not! Girls have cooties! Way to keep yourself cootie-free, Phantom!"
Danny face-palmed.
"Looks like you're the only one here past puberty who hasn't had their first kiss yet, Dipstick," Ember said smugly, smirking in delight at Danny's pain.
Danny sulked and grumbled, "How did we even get on this subject? Weren't we talking about your spare time?"
"Yours is a lot more fun to mess with, Phantom," Desiree pointed out.
"Yeah, well, now we're getting off the topic of my temporarily misplaced love life and getting onto yours." He pointed the camera to Skulker. "Did you ever fix that problem you had with your mystery girl?" he asked with a smirk.
Skulker glared slightly at him. "You can ask her yourself, whelp," the ghost replied, jerking his chin at Ember.
Danny gaped at the dead musician. "You're his girlfriend?"
Ember scowled. "Yeah. Got a problem with that?"
Danny blinked. "Uh, no. My brain's just trying to wrap around how that's supposed to work…"
Ember huffed and looked out the window. Her eyes suddenly widened and she kicked Lance's seat, causing him to gasp. "Turn right, idiot. Now."
"But..."
"I would listen to her if I were you, human," Skulker advised, catching on and smirking at Danny.
Lance nodded frantically and obediently turned the Speeder to the right. "Y-yes sir—I mean, ma'am."
Danny frowned and watched the ghosts outside of the window vanish from view as they took a side trip. "What's going on? Why are we changing course?"
"We have to pick up Sir Walker," Dora answered, giving Danny an apologetic look when his eyes widened.
"Wait, what?" he yelled.
"Walker is the one conducting the hunting parties for the runaway ghosts, whelp," Skulker explained smugly.
"He said he would remain in his jail until you were captured, then said we were to return to get him," Ember continued. "Apparently, he doesn't think we could 'detain' you long enough for us to reach the wedding. He 'insists' that we come along so he can ensure you don't escape."
Danny gaped at them. "B-but you got me! No escape plans happening in this ghost's head!" He knocked on his head lightly, forcing a smile. "We might as well just leave him."
Ember sighed. "I wis-It's a shame we can't. That would be 'against the rules'."
Danny groaned and placed his left hand over his face. "Somebody kill me."
"You're already dead, Sir Phantom," Dora reminded.
Lance gaped up at the ghost prison. It was easily the size of the Amity Park high school, Casper High, and if he wasn't mistaken, there was electrified barb wire at the top. He saw some green ectoplasm dripping from a section of barbs and shivered.
Two guards looked down at the Speeder. One of them raised its hand, signaling to a ghost below it to open the doors. With a groan, the iron doors did just that, opening much the same way Lance was sure a human world prison would. A chill went up his spine as he drove the Specter Speeder in, the gates looming over them imposingly, like the gates of Hell, sucking away all freedom and life…
Danny wordlessly handed him the brown paper bag and reached over to steer the Speeder carefully into the courtyard. "Remember what I said, Mr. Thunder? They can't hold you in here. You can just walk right through or drive the Speeder out of here at any time."
Lance nodded, breathing more evenly into the paper bag as he allowed the information to register in his mind.
The Speeder came to a halt in the middle of the courtyard, and Danny looked around curiously. "Where's Walk-"
"Unauthorized personal in the Ghost Zone," a voice droned, causing another spike of fear to run through Lance, "that's against the rules."
The Speeder's back door opened, revealing the white skinned Walker, six feet of imposing glory. He looked around the inside of the Speeder before snapping his book shut. "What is the meaning of this, lawbreakers?"
The ghosts edged uneasily away from the warden.
"You wanted us to come back for you, Sir Walker," Dora said shyly, not meeting his eyes.
"So I did," Walker agreed, his eyes straying to Lance-who looked as if he'd stopped breathing-and to the camera in Danny's hands. "However, I didn't give you permission to bring a human and human world contraband into my Ghost Zone. Now tell me: Why are there Real world items in my Ghost Zone?"
The ghosts shrunk back in fear at his sudden yell.
"Back off, Walker!" Danny shouted, glaring at the Warden angrily. "It's not your Ghost Zone and it just so happens they needed all this human world 'contraband' to get me to come along. You ought to be thanking them for doing that, not yelling at them for improvising!"
Lance and the ghosts gaped at him as he and Walker had a glaring match.
"Punk," Walker growled.
"Walker," Danny replied mockingly.
"Get a good look at this prison, Punk," Walker continued, "because when that fateful day comes, this'll be your new home for all eternity."
"Ah," Danny moaned, as if it were a shame, "no execution for me? I thought that was your favorite part?"
"Don't think you won't be crushed to within an inch of your afterlife, delinquent."
"Yeah, yeah," Danny said flippantly, looking bored. "Are you coming or not? We're late, am I right?"
Walker glared one last time before stepping into the Speeder. "Drive, human," he commanded and Lance instantly obeyed.
"Didn't we go over saying 'please', Walker?" Danny sarcastically asked the warden with a smirk.
"That's not in the Rule book," Walker replied with a growl.
"It should be." Danny pointed the camera back at the window, resuming his tour of the Zone. The ghosts at the back of the Speeder sighed uncomfortably. After all, there wasn't a whole lot of room back there.
"Lance!" the boss yelled.
Oh no, Lance thought fearfully.
"We've got some calls coming in! They want to know about the wedding. So get asking!"
Lance breathed in deeply before asking, "So, um, who is the Box Ghost and Lunch Lady?"
Danny looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You don't know the Box Ghost? He's the most commonly spotted ghost in the human world."
"That would be you, Punk," Walker corrected.
"Alright, he's the second most spotted. He's blue, wears overalls, and shouts 'BEWARE!' all the time. His obsession is boxes." Lance stared blankly at the Zone. "…He once gave everyone sandwiches and free shoes."
"Oh! The caterer ghost!"
"Well, he's actually the Box Ghost," Danny corrected.
"And the Lunch Lady?"
"A bipolar old lady obsessed with food."
Dora coughed politely, getting everybody's attention. "That's a bit insensitive, Sir Phantom."
Danny rubbed his neck with his left hand. "Well, I don't know her that well. Do you guys have a better description?"
No one answered.
"Alright then." Danny shrugged and said, "You'll just have to wait until you meet her."
Lance nodded thoughtfully. "And the wedding? What should we expect?"
"I don't know." Danny turned around in his seat again to film the ghosts behind him. "So, guys, mind answering some questions?"
"Anything to pass the time," Ember grumbled.
"Shoot," Youngblood said.
"Okay then. Where's the wedding taking place?"
"At Pariah Dark's castle," Walker answered.
Danny blinked. "Like, right in it?"
"Where else, Dipstick?" Ember asked impatiently.
"Isn't that…you know, dangerous?"
"My guards are protecting Pariah Dark's sarcophagus," Walker said, "No one will set him free again if I have anything to say about it."
Danny grinned slightly. "Shouldn't you have done that in the first place?"
Walker frowned. "It wasn't in the Rule Book at that time."
"Uh-huh..."
"You're going to film the Ghost King's resting place?" Boss lady yelled excitedly. "This is gold! The ratings are going up, up, and up!"
Lance whimpered.
"What about-" Danny began, but Youngblood suddenly pointed with his hook and yelled, "Land hoe!"
Danny raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"He means we're there, Dipstick," Ember explained.
Danny and Lance looked out the windshield and gaped up at the large red castle. Lightning flickered above, casting the castle in an eerie shadow. Lance shivered and sank back into his seat, his eyes wide as he stared fearfully up at the castle.
"Welcome to Box Ghost's and Lunch Lady's wedding, home to Pariah Dark, former King of the Ghosts," Desiree welcomed grandly, smirking at Danny. "This is going to be fun."
Danny groaned and dropped his head into his left hand. "Somebody kill me."
"We went over that, Sir Phantom," Dora said, but she reached over to pat him comfortingly on the back.
I know, that pretty much sucked description wise and all that. Urgh. I hate description :(
I'm hoping to come back and edit a lot of this. I don't really like it and I don't feel as if I'm living up to my standards, even if it is better than the first draft. However, I'm a very mean critic when it comes to my own work so I'm relying on you all to let me know if I should do some serious changing or if it's alright. Please let me know!
Next chapter I plan to have Amity Park's POV. Hopefully that's what happens. :) See you all then.
Thanks for reading and leave a review if you can! Let me know your opinion and suggestions!