Raizo didn't like being talked down to, he didn't like people belittling him, he detested ignorance especially in himself and so it only stood to reason that he absolutely hated his current situation. For the past almost week days Koneko was being especially fussy and irritated, even his constant presence wasn't making much of any difference. He had observed as her temperature fluctuated slightly but rapidly and her already small appetite virtually disappeared. He was becoming increasingly worried so much so that it was impossible to hide his agitation.
"Mika, I'm telling you there has to be something wrong, in the months since she was born she had never behaved like this before."
"Well, she's never actually been sick before has she Raizo. It's just a small cold, you're over reacting."
"I've seen far too many babies die from what seemed like 'just a small cold'. "
"Oh Jesus! Raizo, this isn't your secret ninja training school where kids die from mistreatment every other day and it isn't one of the backwater third world hideouts you stayed in. I know my daughter she's fine. If anything, your fussiness is making her even more agitated."
The couple had never really argued about anything before Koneko, the dynamic just didn't allow for it but as they were finding out a baby changes everything. Raizo knew that he probably was overreacting and he was upset with himself that even Mika had picked up on his paranoia and for the sake of things he allowed himself to calm down on the probability that she was right about him upsetting her further. He looked to where Mika was shaking her with slightly too jerky movements, tempted to pull her from her mother's arms but, knowing it would spark another argument he wisely left her there. Mika looked disheveled. For the past few days Mika was spending her nights sleepless, at Raizo's side trying unsuccessfully to settle Koneko down for a full nights sleep. She had bags under her eyes and despite her assurances to Raizo he could see that she was also worried. That only served to worry him more because he had unofficially, internally accepted Mika' s knowledge of babies to guide him through fatherhood. And in the space of a week he was convinced that he was failing miserably.
Eventually Mika's exhaustion won out over her frustration and she handed koneko to Raizo once more before collapsing in a nearby chair. Once again she refused her bottle, didn't need changing and her temperature was steady and right where it was supposed to be. He didn't bother to shake her instead he spoke to her in hushed Japanese tones, as always knowing she couldn't understand but needing it to reassure himself. Needless to say he was pleased when after several long minutes her eyes started to droop and she let out a yawn. When she did his heart gave a small jump and he hoped she didn't feel it. He outright cursed himself for not noticing it before and thanked whatever deity responsible that she wasn't really sick after all.
He could just make out barely there ridges; he had heard and read enough to know that Koneko was in fact cutting teeth. That didn't mean that he knew how to make it better but at least he knew what was wrong. He watched as she sleepily chewed on her fingers, eyes fixed on the raised bumps along her gums. He wanted to jerk Mika from her sleep and demand she tell him what to do but something stopped him. It was this part of being a father that was proving to be increasingly hard; balancing both women in his life. Not only was he trying to raise Koneko but he was also still nursing his relationship with Mika because although Koneko seemed to have reinforced it, it was by no means perfect. He looked at both sleeping females and felt guilty. He apologized to koneko for not being better, for not being everything she needed, for being so ill equipped and flawed. He apologized to Mika for much of the same, and then for neglecting her in favor of koneko. For someone who had looked for himself for most of his life he found it hard to split that attention between two others and he was only managing scarcely. He felt much too vulnerable and weak. He felt s panic rising in him that he had only felt when he believed Mika's death to be on his hands.
He settled Koneko into her crib and carried Mika to their bed. The moon outside seemed to be calling him, pulling him back into his world the world where he was sure and in control. Something was off, something was wrong; he knew that his paranoia had more to do with cutting teeth and family life. He could feel the danger, and it pained him to think that he was putting them into it but his instincts were animalistic and precise. It was distant, faint enough to be indistinct; in fact it could have been anything. It made the hairs on his neck stand when he realized it; even more when he realized that he had almost missed it. He quickly fetched koneko and placed her on the next to Mika. He quickly checked the bedside table for Mika's gun ensuring it was loaded and easily within her reach. He knew his swords were always only a split second from his hand but he grabbed for them anyway. Twirling them and testing the weight in his hand and he was hocked to see that they still felt like an extension of his being after all that time. He thrust into the dark several time before replacing them. In any case it would be a while before they were needed if at all but that had never quelled his caution before. He tucked Koneko into the curve of his body. Frowning as her temperature spiked slightly. He closed his eyes and tried to match his heart and his breathing to hers, striving to take away at least some of her discomfort with his own body.
When he awoke that morning it was to a bed that was warmer and fuller than usual. Koneko was still exactly where he had set her the night before and it didn't seem as though she had moved at all, in fact he was almost certain she hadn't because if she had he was sure he would have felt it. He looked down at her; her hand was still in her mouth which was working furiously on her fingers despite the fact that she was still asleep. He looked over at Mika who had turned to face them during the night. Her hair was even wilder that the night before but other than that he could see that the sleep had help her somewhat; the bags under her eyes weren't as deep and the lines of stress that had been visible on her face when he went to be the night before were also disappearing. He entertained himself with the notion of a happy family for several minutes to long, he decided, when a shiver ran across him and it was all he could do not to shudder visibly. It was only then that he put a name to the feelings he started feeling last night. It was the feeling he got when he knew he was on the trail of one of the clans or when he knew they had picked up on his. He also knew that clans worked slowly and methodically and these feelings would often plague him for months, almost a year, before anything came to fruition. However now, when his own clan had shifted from one to two it was much too soon. And he could fathom himself allowing them to close in on him. But similarly the thought of leaving them seemed impossible. He weighed his options. He could let them find him, single and small clusters of assassins that had proved little to no trouble to him before, but how would he fare knowing it put Mika and Koneko at the same risk and there was always the chance that they used them as leverage. He knew leaving would be better. In the grand scheme of things his desire to see Koneko's every development was merely selfish when the alternative was putting his family's lives in danger.
He didn't know how long he sat there staring at them, committing every part of them to memory although they had been firmly etched in his mind from day one. He knows that by tomorrow this time he won't be with them. He'll be retracing his tracks and laying a false lead much stronger than the real one. He knows that this time he isn't going to go it alone. He thinks of all the agencies that already know the ones that eradicated his original clan and the ones that were brought in to find and destroy the others. He knew that they were making progress slow but sure progress. And after the last burst they had taken to kill him all the clans were severely down in numbers. Even before they had started luring and killing them out each clan couldn't have had more than fifty individuals, more than half being kids in training, kids who hadn't killed yet, and would therefore default if they were reunited with their families before they could do so, kids who could be saved. He knew that the clans couldn't support a full assault and while he had once dreamed of killing them all with his own two hands that was now no longer a goal to him. He just wanted to protect his family so he could watch it grow.
When Mika finally woke, their eyes met and he knew that she knew.
"It's not your fault Mika. I can feel it…they're coming and I don't want them to get 'here'." She nodded jerkily. When their relationship had began an admission like this would have had her in tears but now he kept a rein on her composure, hesitant understanding radiating form every pore. And with that the conversation was as good as over. He would tell her more lately after it had all sunk in but it was settled. He was leaving and she wasn't going to try to stop him.