The next morning when it was time to leave for school Finn still didn't have a plan other than acting as normal as possible and skipping Spanish and Glee. He felt like he was made of lead. He tossed on some jeans and a baggy sweatshirt, didn't bother with breakfast, and ignored Mike's questioning look when he barely made it to Trig before the bell rang.
By the time lunch rolled around he thought he was doing okay. He hadn't talked much, and his phone was still off, but he hadn't seen Schue and he wasn't shaking. He still didn't feel like eating, so he bought two bottles of Mountan Dew and took his usual seat with Puck, Sam, Mike, Brittany, and Santana.
"Where's your lunch?" Sam asked. It was unusual to see Finn with only one tray, let alone no food at all.
"Not hungry. Aren't you the one always saying it's important to stay in shape?" Finn said. He was relieved when Santana interrupted, at least until he heard what she wanted.
"Finn, you've got to do something about Berry," Santana said, "if she tries to run glee today I might kill her."
"I'm not going to glee today. Why would Rachel run things?" He asked, mostly because he was tired of the girls fighting all the time, especially when it involved him. Mike and Sam both looked at him when he said he wasn't going to glee, but they didn't ask questions.
"Mr. Schue's not here today. Must have been sudden too, we didn't even have a sub in Spanish, just Ms. Pillsbury-Howell making sure we didn't burn the place down," Puck said. He turned to Finn, "Do you know what's up with Schue?"
Finn froze. Schue wasn't there? Why ask him? Could they tell something? For a minute he thought his throat was going to close up. "Why ask me?" he choked out.
Puck put his hands up in front of him, "Relax! Just thought since you're his favorite you might know where he was." His favorite. It was the voice in his ear all over again. - Such a good boy for me, Finn. So special, baby. - He had to get out there. He jumped up spilling one of his sodas on the table and knocking the chair over in his effort to get out of there as soon as possible.
He didn't stop until he reached the bleachers, missing the concerned looks that Sam and Mike exchanged when he ran out of there. Brittany started to stand up and go after him, but Santana just pulled her back down and shook her head. Finn sat on the highest and farthest corner of the bleachers and tried to get his breathing under control. He knew he should be cold without his jacket, but he was sweating like he'd just worked out.
He'd seen this happen to Kurt once, when the hockey team had locked him in a closet. Mercedes had called it a panic attack and made Kurt take deep breaths and focus on how awful Rachel's outfit was. He tried to do the same, thinking about the drills that they'd been running in basketball instead of Rachel. After a few minutes his heart wasn't beating so fast and he was able to catch his breath. He checked his watch and realizing he was just in time for the weight training class Coach Bieste had made all the football players take in the spring he headed back to the school.
Finn slipped into the locker room right as the bell rang and avoided Sam's raised eyebrow as he opened his gym locker. Sam wasn't going to let him off that easy. "Are you okay? You kind of freaked out at lunch."
Okay, he needed a lie. He was terrible at lying. "I, uh, bought a hotdog at the gas station for breakfast. It's been making me sick all day. I didn't want to say anything in front of the girls." Okay, that wasn't bad. TMI and all, but Sam wouldn't care. He reached into his locker and grabbed the old t-shirt he used for gym, pulling off the sweatshirt he had worn to school.
Sam shrugged, "Okay, but you kind of freaked Brittany out. You should..." Sam cut off what he was saying and Finn looked over to see what had happened. Sam was staring at the bruises on his upper arms. "Shit, Finn. What the hell happened?"
Oh god. Fuck. He'd forgotten for a minute. How the hell could he forget even for a minute? He quickly tugged the sweatshirt back down and shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing happened. You know I'm hopeless at dancing. I was trying to practice and I ran into a wall."
"Dude, those are hand prints! You don't get hand prints from running into a wall." Sam said. Finn started looking around, trying to figure out if anyone else had heard.
"Be quiet! It's none of your business!" Finn growled at at the other boy, causing him take a step back. Finn felt bad instantly. Yelling at Sam was only going to make things worse, but nobody was supposed to know. Sam blew out a breath and then gestured towards the equipment room at the back of the lockers. Finn knew from the look on his face that arguing wasn't going to work so he followed, wrapping his arms around himself.
Once they had some privacy Sam turned to face him. "Finn, what is going on? Somebody hurt you, and don't bother lying. There is no other way to get marks like that."
No. No. No. He couldn't tell Sam. Despite all the drama over Quinn he still thought they could be pretty good bros, but not if Sam knew how stupid and weak he was. Finn just shook his head, but Sam kept going.
"This isn't right. Fine, I'll just say it. Finn, is your step-dad smacking you around?"
"WHAT? Burt? NO WAY. You've got to believe me on this one! He'd never lay a hand on me!" Finn said, his voice cracking a bit. He was shaking again. He had to make Sam believe him, Burt was the best thing that ever happened to his mom. He was really good to her and she didn't even have to work double shifts anymore. Oh shit, he'd done it again. Sam was backing away from him looking scared, and he was starting to have trouble breathing again.
"Okay. You are freaking me out, and if you won't talk to me you've got to talk to someone. Kurt, or your parents, how about coach? I know Mr. Schuester isn't here today, but we have his cell number."
Now Finn really couldn't breath, his heart was beating like he'd just played a full game of basketball. He just kept shaking his head as he sank to his knees, hoping Sam would leave him alone. The minute he went down the shorter boy took off and Finn knew he was going to get an adult. Sure enough, Sam came back a few minutes later with Coach Bieste followed closely by Mike and Puck. Coach took one look at him flipping out like a crazy person and started giving orders. "Evans, call an ambulance. Puckerman, call his mother. Chang, go tell someone in the teachers lounge to watch my class and then wait outside for the ambulance."
He watched the others do as they were told and flinched when Coach knelt down beside him and put a hand on his back. She noticed his reaction and pulled her hand back right away, but he saw the look in her eyes. "Hudson, you need to breath. You're having a panic attack, but it's safe now and anyone who hurts you is going to have deal with me. Breath slow. In and out, that's it." It wasn't long before the paramedics arrived and put a mask over his mouth. He thought one of them said something about helping him calm down and he felt a jab.