Some people
Some people are so big it's redundant. Pointless. You know what I mean?
This guy could have gotten a full coat of paint on the ceiling without needing the scaffold - just by reaching up. Really, there's no need for anyone to be so fucking tall. It's not like he needed to eat leaves from the tops of trees.
"Jake, this is Edward. Edward, Jake," Bella said, and I didn't feel like getting a pain in the neck so I didn't feel like looking up as far as his face. I mumbled a few syllables figuring that was all the politeness I needed - because what was Bella doing with this ten foot high donkey kong for hours and days and weeks at a time, in a fucking garage?
But Jake took my hand and shook it, saying, "Hey, good to meet you, man. Seth told me you punched him."
And then the rest of the guys crowded around and said, "You hit Seth? Way to go, man. Could you do it again, just to give us a demonstration?"
Sweetness grimaced and said, "Well, I'm outta here now, everyone, gonna drop by Leah's for a bit. Hall looks really good. Great work. Shall I meet up with you later on?"
"Sure, just come over. The usual. Glee Club at my house," Seth nodded.
While I puzzled over this comment, Bella seemed to dematerialize. I couldn't go after her because there were so many hands patting me on the back, and so many large bodies standing around me forming a human cage.
"Some Rez hospitality, Edward? A drink with the boys? You're staying the night, of course?" Seth said, and I hadn't given any thought to the evening, I'd been so focussed on the day.
"Ah - maybe," I answered, unenthusiastic at the prospect of the long drive home, and keen at the prospect of catching up with Bella again soon. I resolutely pushed Gigantor to the back of my mind.
"But where?" I added. "You don't live here."
"I still have my old room at my mom's house. And don't tell anyone - but she spends all her nights at her fiance's these days, so her bedroom's been free for months. You're more than welcome."
"Well, okay, sounds good," I agreed.
"Come on guys, we'll leave the Hall open tonight to let the air circulate, let's hit the basketball court," Jake said, and just like that, we'd all passed through the double doors and down the ramp. There was some shoulder-punching, half-hearted scuffling going on, but we were making steady progress. How did that happen? No-one seemed to be leading, but everyone moved in the same direction, me caught up with the rest of them.
"So - basketball?" I asked the nearest guy, who could have been Sam or Paul or Peter or Joshua. It was something biblical, anyway.
"Yeah. You play?" he grinned.
"Not so much."
"Are you fit?"
"Sure."
His dark brown gaze skimmed me up and down. I'm not fat, but shit, I'm not exactly athletic. Couldn't I just sit on the sidelines and drink beer? That was how I liked to celebrate sport.
We got to somewhere there was a court marked out on gravel with hoops and backboards at either end, and a bunch of little kids appeared, flocking straight to Jake like he was a magnet. One of them handed over a ball and then I was treated to a display of agility and skill and stamina from the big guys that made me feel somewhat lacking. My talents lie in other areas, I told myself. My pursuits are more of the indoor variety. This crew probably couldn't drink as many tequila shots in one sitting as me, unless they could. Well, once I won five thousand dollars at poker - beat that, fit guys!
Actually, I'm not entirely hopeless. I'd always been tall as a youngster and I'd been steered into basketball in middle school. I hadn't disgraced myself. Hovering on the sidelines this afternoon, watching the play, at one stage the ball arced over towards me and I lurched to retrieve it out of the air, flinging it in a circus shot that unbelievably went into the hoop.
Once the cheers died down I was co-opted into Seth's team, the other captain being Jake. It was rapidly obvious that all these guys had been playing together for years by how fluid their passes were, how smoothly the ball glided between all of them. And the joking just didn't let up. The two teams were pretty evenly matched with no clear victor emerging, despite my contribution.
When we started to get tired Jake organised the kids into teams and set up a variation where if a kid wanted to shoot for a goal one of the older guys had to lift them so they'd have a better chance. It was really fucking fun, and fucking funny. Just as I'd had a hard time trying to dislike Seth, I found it was hard trying to dislike Jake. He was a natural leader, but with an easy manner, and an affinity for children that had them running around after him like little disciples.
A draw was declared and someone produced beers and sodas, and we all sat around on the grass getting our breath back.
"So, this is your 'hood," I remarked to Seth.
"Yo."
"It's pretty fucking mellow. Why did you leave?"
"The world beckoned. But hey - I haven't gone far. This place is in my blood. I just ventured a few miles away for access to the internet."
I brooded. Now that I knew just where Seth and Bella stood with one another, I had a new anxiety. Seth was a perceptive guy, so I didn't know if I could just come straight out with it without giving myself away. He quite possibly already suspected anyway. He'd already asked if I was interested in Bella. Would he mind?
"Where does Jake fit in? Why's he staying in your garage?" I asked, hoping it sounded an innocent enough, and reasonable enough question.
"Jake is Billy's son. He'll be the next chief. He's good at tinkering around with engines and he's doing some grease-monkey work that he needed a space for. I don't have a car, so my garage was free."
I thought for a second. "Okay, hang on - his father is Billy who we met today? So succession to the position of chief is hereditary? Like a monarchy?"
Seth shrugged. "Well, yeah."
"Isn't that system somewhat outdated now? What about merit? Does anyone get a say? What about democracy?"
There was a moment's quiet.
"Edward, you just spent an afternoon with Jacob. Would you dispute his suitability for leadership? After seeing him with the kids, and with the rest of the crew? Power structures here work because leaders earn respect. Billy has the trust of everyone in the community - he's strong and knowledgeable and effective, even in a wheelchair. Jake automatically got a few points because of the lineage - but you only have to meet him to know he's honest and just and caring. Jake has the integrity and heart to be the leader of our nation, and we all believe in him."
So I shut up and shrank a little. Seth was some big handsome surrogate brother who had no designs on Bella, thank God. However, Jake was a bigger, handsomer guy who amounted to being a prince. Fuck my life.
I wanted to go home, but we went back to Seth's.
I kept a low profile from then on, even though people began to gather in the yard out back of Seth's house, bringing food and beer. As the sun went down a couple of guys pulled out guitars and started singalongs. Those who weren't singing sat grouped around the open fire debating politics, or just chatting. There were girls here whose natural beauty made Ginger look plastic, and there were children and seniors who were all part of the evening, taking part in conversations, eating and laughing, dancing and talking.
Across the bonfire, I saw Bella.
Jesus, she looked beautiful in firelight. Jesus, I had to talk to her. But guess what? She was with fucking Prince Jacob, in deep and earnest discussion. Some nice girl called Emily sat by me and said hello in a friendly and welcoming way, holding absolutely the prettiest baby ever born. I was captivated by the baby - I held the baby and went all gooey-eyed over the baby - I disappeared into baby vortex for time untold, and when I next looked up, Bella was gone. I was on the verge of asking whether little Amelia needed a stand-in dad when one of my crew, who'd been introduced as Sam, turned up all smiles to claim both Amelia and Emily, and I sighed. Guess not. Off they went, leaving me alone again, naturally.
"Hey, Big E, you wanna get your head down now for some sleep? We're all pretty tired, huh?" Seth's voice said from somewhere close by, and yeah, Goddamn I was tired. Take me, Seth, to comfort and oblivion. Somewhere that Bella Swan isn't in front of me snuggling up to a dynastic bronze demigod who apparently had fast-tracked a masters degree in sociology with a minor in political science in between managing to fix anything mechanical ever that went wrong on the Rez. Now he was the principal of the school, and had implemented a mentoring program so that every single kid in the community either kept an eye on someone younger, or was looked after by someone older. Thanks Emily, for that invaluable and disheartening info. Oh, and I endorse Jacob's nomination for Citizen of the Century.
The news was even better in the morning. Bella would be staying on here in the forest of tranquility until next weekend, and not returning to her apartment in the city. What was she even paying fucking rent there for? Meanwhile I would be accompanying Seth back to Port Angeles, then making my way back to Aro's to get sorrowfully drunk, and to compound my headaches and heartaches. I should never have agreed to any of it. I should go home and get Ginger's number from Bree and see if the carpet matched the drapes.
Should I heck.
I'll just go home and immerse myself in my career single-mindedly and become the best I can be and dedicate my life to excellence and art. And maybe bonsai. If I don't have love I'll need a hobby.
I was too dispirited to speak much on the way back to Seth's apart from a few crucial aspects of the wedding that still needed to be finalized. We had a mild difference of opinion over folding versus stackable chairs. Then another over the fucking water tumblers. When we couldn't agree on what color gypsophila we should order for the table centerpieces, I knew I was losing the plot.
"Edward, I think we're both feeling a little pressured here. Let's both of us not think about the whole thing any more for the rest of the day, okay? We're on the home stretch after all. We'll forget about it for now and talk during the week, okay?" he said as I dropped him off.
"Yeah."
"I mean it. Go and have a few drinks or shoot some pool or something. Chill."
"Yeah. You, too."
One of his suggestions had certainly hit the mark. I texted ahead to D, saying I was on my way.
He met me with a question in his eyes and a round of shots already lined up. Salt, lemon, and the sharp, metallic-herbal taste of the cactus. I swear I felt its spines gouging me all the way down inside my mouth, my throat, my heart.
"How's everything shaping up?" he asked hopefully, wanting gossip and good news.
"Oh," he answered himself, before I could formulate my response. "Why am I even asking? You look like shit. And where's Bella? Why isn't she with you? Or is that why you look like shit? Has something happened? Is it about that huge guy?"
"Yeah," I mumbled. "There's a problem with a huge guy, only not the one you met. There's a whole fucking bunch of them, but the one who came here is her step-brother. He's not the one I have to worry about. There's another guy, who's the prince of the whole fucking world, and he and Bella have spent the last month and a half in some fucking purpose-built love nest in Port Angeles. That's why she hasn't been around."
D considered what I'd said. He helped himself to the complimentary peanuts in a bowl on top of the bar. I'd told him countless times not to eat that shit because of other men putting their hands in there, and dude, you know how remiss men can be about washing their hands after they've been using the rest rooms. How D didn't have constantly recurring gastro, I didn't know.
"Eddie, it just can't be as bad as you're making out," he shook his head. "I mean, Bella clearly, obviously, blatantly likes you a lot. Why else would she put up with the random shit you talk all the time? She even thinks you're funny, and not just laughable. You're her friend - that counts for a lot with chicks."
"Hmm."
"I don't think you need to worry about this other dude at all. Don't sell yourself short. What's he got that you haven't?"
"Hmm." Where do I fucking start? Jesus, I've never been like this before. My self-esteem has been pretty much rock solid until now.
"Look," D wasn't finished yet. "The wedding is this weekend coming up, isn't it? She'll be there, you'll be there, love will be in the air... go for a kiss, Edward. If she won't kiss you at a fucking wedding you'll know you haven't got a hope. Better still, get her to spend the night with you afterwards and seal the deal. Bella is not the sort of girl who'd hook up with someone she didn't care about. You'll be organizing your own fucking wedding in no time, believe me."
Spend the night with her after the wedding, seal the deal.
How simple! Why didn't I think of that?
I did! But it's a stupid plan that would never fucking work, because I'd never fucking manage to get that far.
.
.
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Alone again, naturally is a song by, um, (runs to find out) Gilbert O'Sullivan which has a jaunty, cheery feel to it, but don't be misled. It's fucking SAD.