To be honest, I wasn't all that surprised that I had been assigned Birthmother; I was typical birthmother material, strong (or athletic really), not very studious, listened to directions pretty well, no real talents to speak of. I could take care of newchildren, I had done all four and a half years of my volunteer hours at the Nurturing Center, but I always knew I didn't have the right qualities to be a Nurturer; I was only drawn there because of the Nurturer Adam, who I had considered my best friend before my assignment. (funny thing is he probably has forgotten all about me by now, it's been five years since we've seen each other.) I had hoped, when I was younger, that it wouldn't matter that my aptitude for the assignment of Nurturer was pretty much non-existent, that the fact that I had volunteered all four years there would qualify me for the job. But it was silly for me to think such a thing, childish hopes that were dashed the second I walked up on that stage.

"Birthmother" the Chief Elder had announced, cementing my already expected disappointment. I had smiled, as we were all expected to, and shook her hand and took the folder with my assignment instructions and slunk back to my seat and sat down, there was no surprise to my assignment, but there had been no happiness in it either.

"Are you disappointed in me?" I had asked my parents that night as we sat down to our evening meal. My parents both have prestigious assignments; my father was an engineer in charge of designing buildings not just for this community but for neighboring communities as well. My mother was an instructor of Threes, in charge of the acquisition of language with emphasis on making sure youngsters knew the importance of correct, accurate language. I know they had both hoped for more from their eldest child.

But my mother looks up from helping my younger brother Alonzo eat his meal and smiles at me "Of course not Chloe" she had laughed "Why would we be?"

"Well" I say slowly, trying to find the correct way to word what I'm feeling. My mother had instilled in me (and already in my brother who was a Five) precision of language. If we didn't word things right, she'd correct us in this way that made us feel really guilty. Vocabulary had never been my strong point in school, so when speaking to mother I was always very careful about what I said. "You and father have such…respectable, honorable assignments…surely you would have wanted the same for me."

My father sighs, "Of course we did Chloe" he says "and stop poking your food, just eat it. It's not going to do you any good just sitting on that plate."

I look down at my plate; today's meal was various grains prepared in fish oil, not exactly my favorite. But my father won't let us get up and leave the table till we've finished every bite, so I gather up some on my fork and take a bite, grimacing as I do so. My mother decided to continue with our conversation.

"Birthmother is a very important job Chloe. I think it may be the most important! I mean without Birthmothers, where would the rest of us be? Nowhere, that's where!"

My father rolls his eyes "Really Alexandra" he says.

"What?" My mother asks, "Jeffery it's true!"

"Yes, but no need making it sound better than it really is" he told her "She's a birthmother. A future laborer, that's all."

"She'll be providing us with future new children Jeffery" she insists, "That's pretty important."

"But not at all honorable" my father snaps.

My mother falls silent. Not even she has a comeback for this. We eat in silence for a while. Then my father says.

"The Council knows best Chloe. They knew exactly what you would best be suited for."

Breeding. That's what I'm best suited for apparently. The thought doesn't really make me feel any better.

My mother changes the subject then, discussing some changes that are going to be made to the teaching system with the new group of threes coming in and I'm left to stew in my disappointment alone. Alonzo looks up at me some time later and smiles cheerfully, unaware really of the situation. I smile back at him; glad that someone's opinion of me is unchanged. I had always been fond of my younger brother, with his boundless energy and endless curiosity it was hard not too.

"Alonzo" my Mother says as she clears the table later "Would you like to go first tonight for sharing of feelings?"

The little boy seems mollified at the thought of getting to go first, something that rarely happens for him.

"Today I felt very happy" he says in his light, boyish voice. Even my father is smiling in amusement at him.

"And why is that?" he asks Alonzo.

"Because Chloe got her assignment" he says, bouncing a little in his seat "and so did my friend Rosemary's brother. Did you know that Chloe? Rosemary's brother is in your class." Alonzo has a habit of rambling, though like me he tries to use the best vocabulary he can.

I giggle, "No I didn't know that. Whose Rosemary's brother?"

"His Number was One. He was assigned Doctor."

"You mean Cael?"

"Uh-huh" Alonzo nods furiously. "Are you friends like Rosemary and I?"

I shake my head, I know Cael of course, everyone knew Cael. He was a quiet but happy male; he was at the top of our age group when it came to school. His father was the most honorable elder in the whole Community. The Receiver of Memory they called him, whatever that meant. Cael and I had been acquaintances at best, we might have spoken a handful of times, but we didn't have much in common with one another. He was intelligent and studious; I was lazy and hardly paid attention to my classes. I spent all my spare time in the Nurturing Center and he spent all of his free time in the Rehabilitation Center and Infirmary, we were both quiet and kept to ourselves a lot, so we had never really been friends at all. I had no idea that his sister was Alonzo's Rosemary. I'd only seen Rosemary a few times, a cheerful, giggling little female five, but I knew almost everything there was to know about the girl because she was all Alonzo talked about. The female was his best friend, they were always together it seemed.

"Rosemary was really glad about his assignment. I saw where she was sitting during the Ceremony" Alonzo is saying "So I was glad too."

Alonzo had very simple, straightforward feelings, most Fives did I guess.

"Thank-You Alonzo, for sharing" my father says with a nod "Alexandra?"

"I feel very accomplished" she says, "I have successfully raised one child" she flashes me a smile. I smile back at her. "I'm very proud of your accomplishments Chloe."

I want to ask, what accomplishments? But instead I just continue smiling and nod.

"Thank-you for sharing mother" I say the standard phrase "Father?"

Father reports that he feels the same as my mother. Then it's my turn.

There are a lot of things I could tell them I felt. Disappointment, Sadness, Embarrassment, maybe even a little Bitter. But instead I shrug when my mother asks me what I felt and gave them the same answer I'd pretty much been giving since I was a Ten "I feel Content" I say.

It was the first time I had ever spoken a lie.

Training to be a birthmother turned out to be laughingly easy. It started first with a change in school patterns. My classes, especially my academic courses like math and science and law, suddenly became a lot easier for me, in fact it kind of became a joke. Me and a girl by the name of Grace had been the only two in our year to be assigned Birthmother, so we were put with the other new Twelves that had been given laborious assignments (like my friend Elise who had gotten clothing production). Classes in nutrition and health were added to my schedules, and suddenly I was constantly being shoved outside for exercise and fresh-air and what not. It was during all that that I had made the acquaintance of some of my new friends, Yanima and Avery and Anna. We were all Birthmother's in training, though they had been assigned the year before me, and all three of them were due to finish their training soon, and it wasn't long until we were all bonding over our distaste of classes, and our love for exercise and musing over what life as a birthmother would be like. Special vitamins had been added to my pill-taking regimen and my diet was suddenly being adjusted and monitored more heavily than before. I was even getting different meals from my Family Unit and other non-birthmother friends.

"They are heavier in the vitamins and nutrition that we are going to need" Anna had told us one afternoon. She's the oldest of us here; her Number had been eight, making her the eighth new child born her year, and therefore the oldest. And from what we all could tell it wouldn't be long till they called her to the Birthing Unit and finished off her last few months of training. She was a tall, slender female with pleasant features, including a rather lovely smile. Not that Anna smiled much. Unlike the rest of us, who had pretty much accepted the idea that we were Birthmothers, Anna still resented her assignment, though I guess I could understand why. Anna being birthmother had sort of surprised all of us. Unlike the rest of us Anna had made great marks all throughout school, she was a top student and was a very intelligent female. And unlike most of us, Anna had the aptitude for other occupations. She had spent a lot of her volunteer hours, like me, in the Nurturing Center. I had watched her from time to time, though she liked to Volunteer in the rooms with the smallest new children, while I had preferred to be in the rooms with the new children that could sit up by themselves already and make little babbling noises and were starting to develop dispositions. I had noted the skill she had with the infants, she could feed them and change them and comfort them when they got fussy just as well as most of the Nurturers themselves. Why the council had decided she was better fit to breed baffled me.

But the Council knows best what we are suited for. I remind myself.

"Well it's one change I'm not complaining about" laughs Avery, spooning up more of the soup we've been allotted today. Anna and I exchange eye rolls, Avery could probably afford to miss a few meals, she's starting to…fill out…as Grace had put it yesterday.

The weeks and months continued to pass, Anna was pulled out of school as we had gathered. She would have another five months of training left, and then she'd be inseminated, we were told.

My body started to get examined for my years of production. I was tested and checked and touched in places I had never been tested or checked or touched before. I began to learn things about my body that other girls didn't. At first I shared some of what I learned with Elise, but the girl was completely uninterested with my training and so I quickly learned to only share the information I picked up with the other birthmothers.

Avery and Yanima were called to the Birthing Unit and so it was just Grace and I for a while. Another Ceremony passed, and we got three new Birthmothers, Aaliyah, Estella and Mirada. We bonded over the same things we had bonded with the others over.

Finally a year and a half after I had received my assignment as Birthmother I was called to the Birthing Unit. Grace and I were called at the same time, and we both had headed down to the Unit from our School together. I had said good-bye to Elise, who would be finishing her own schooling soon, and wished the other birthmothers-in-training good luck. I had said my good-byes to my parental unit and younger brother that morning. My father had seemed kind of glad to be rid of me. My mother and Alonzo however had both been upset to see me leaving them forever. We were destined to become strangers to each other now.

Moving around in the Community wasn't difficult. We owned nothing, our clothing was distributed and laundered by the central clothing supply, and they had already taken my schoolbooks and my bicycle.

We were met by a woman named Tamar who had shown us to our assigned rooms in the dormitories, the rooms held little more than a bed and a dresser. Four dorm rooms were connected to a small recreation room and Restroom that the birthmothers assigned would share. I was assigned with Grace, Anna and our matron Ella.

I had a few weeks to settle in, to adjust to the rather lax schedule the Birthmothers were expected to follow. I spent most this time with Grace, enjoying the last few weeks of freedom we would have for several years. While we were adjusting we were still allowed to leave the Unit and visit other places. Because I had spent so much time at the Nurturing Center and Grace had done most of her volunteering at the fish hatchery we had both decided to go visit all the places we hadn't before. I got a tour of the House of the Old, the Law and Justice Buildings, the Bicycle Repair Shop (though it took us forever to find it), The Fish Hatchery, The Clothing Supply Buildings, The Infirmary, The Rehabilitation Center, and finally we stopped by the Nurturing Center where I had said good-bye to many of the Nurturers, including Adam. The young man had grinned when he saw me poke my head in his room.

"Well look who came to visit" he had laughed. "I was beginning to think you had forgotten me."

" As if that's even possible" I had joked "I'm just coming to say good-bye"

"Good-bye?" Adam asked, his smile disappearing and a look of concern replacing it. "Why? What's happening?"

"I've been moved into the Birthmother Dormitory" I explained to him "I only have a week or two till they confine me to the Unit for the next few years."

"Oh yeah" Adam says, hitting himself lightly on the head "I forgot your assignment was birthmother." He spots Grace standing nervously behind me, peeking at the newchildren curiously. "Whose that?" he asks, pointing to her.

"My friend Grace" I say, "She's a Birthmother too."

"Hello" Grace says politely.

"Hello" Adam answers, giving Grace a smile. "Well Chloe, would you like to hold one last newchild? For old times sakes?"

"Would I ever" I say excitedly, and immediately hold my arms out expectantly. I've always had a soft spot for newchildren. Their chubby cheeks and big eyes and the gurgling noises they make, they are terribly cute.

Adam reaches into one of the beds and pulls out a content looking youngster. "This is Number Twenty," he tells me "It's a female, lovely disposition too" he puts the infant in my arms.

"Hello Number Twenty" I say in my special new-child voice. Adam had taught me how to speak with this voice; apparently the newchildren reacted to it better. This little female, Number Twenty, looks up at me with wide dark eyes. "Aren't you a good girl" I coo "Not even a peep"

"They've just been fed" Adam explains. I chuckle.

"Ahh. Come here Grace, come look at her."

Grace stands behind me and looks over my shoulder at the infant. She smiles a little, but she's not very interested in new children I think.

I eventually hand Number Twenty back to Adam and take my leave. We'd be due back at the Birthing Unit soon, for our mid-day vitamins and exercise session. Later Grace would have another examination. They are thinking about inseminating her soon. Adam waves as we exit "Good to see you again Chloe. Promise you won't forget me?"

"I promise" I call over my shoulder. "Promise you won't forget me?"

"I promise" Adam says, smiling.

But I bet you he has.

After I was settled in, my confinement began and my training continued. More health and nutrition classes, anatomy and physiology were taught to me too. They were trying to regulate my menstrual periods, and once again they were absolutely obsessed with my body's physical condition. Months passed, Grace was inseminated, Anna too.

Another Ceremony came, I asked for permission to go (non producing birthmothers were usually allowed), but to my surprise my request was denied. I was wanted here. I did a calculation in my head, this meant Grace and I were now fourteen.

The day after the Ceremony I was called for Insemination. It took with no problem, and a month later I was declared a vessel. We had all held a little celebration in our dorm rec room before our matron had ordered us to bed. We were all vessels now. Even Anna seemed more pleased than usual.

My nine months had gone smoothly, I was required to sit through countless classes again, was shown numerous diagrams and graphs and were given many, many instructions. Not exactly thrilling, but it was better than sitting around doing nothing.

We were fed well, taken good care of, physically, as well. It was obvious though that the caretakers thought us below them, they treated us like we were nothing, and snapped at us a lot. We soon learned to rely on each other to help us through the nine-month production process, and turned to our caretakers as little as possible.

Grace has her newchild first, Number Eleven, a female. Technically we are not supposed to know all of this. Birthmothers don't even get to see their products, but it's not that hard to cheat around here. Some of us aren't as dumb they think we are, we can keep track of who gets inseminated, when and keep track of numbers that way. Others of us have figured out how to get glimpses at the Products as they are being taken away. They keep a blindfold over your eyes while you're in labor, but if you act as uninterested in the product as possible over the nine months your carrying it, they will sometimes take the blindfold off before they take the baby away, you can act more like your interested in getting some rest after the process, turn your head in the right direction and see your newchild. The Birthmothers who get to go to the Ceremony are always hounded by the others telling them the numbers of their products and asking them to find out what they were named. We do it all in secret of course, the caretakers would all punish us severely if they found out. But a plus side to being thought of as "simple-minded" was that you got ignored a lot of the time.

Anna's newchild came next, Number thirty-three, a male. She was extremely proud of that, she had wanted really wanted a male. "That way I can be sure that at least he won't end up a Birthmother" she had spat when we had asked one evening.

Finally it was my turn. They called me to the Birthing Room, laid me on a bed, started me on an IV, and waited. It didn't take long, within minutes I was experiencing what I had been taught were contractions. At first it felt similar to the cramps I had felt during my menstruation, but they got progressively worse. After a while they tied my hands to the side of my bed and clamped a mask over my face. "Here we go" I heard someone say. I screamed a lot that first time, the pain had been nearly unbearable, I almost blacked out from it. But I clenched my teeth and fought through it, and five and a half hours later I heard the tiny wails of a newchild.

"Very good Chloe" a woman spoke to me. "You did very well."

"Thanks" I mumble, exhausted. I feel hands untying the mask. I yawn, as I had practiced I would. I see the doctors trying to get the infant out of the room. I turn my head as Anna had instructed me.

I see her, Number Forty-eight. She's pink, and covered in blood and mucus, she only has a few tufts of dark hair on top of her tiny head. She's wailing and flailing about in the doctor's arms.

She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life.

As expected the next couple weeks I'm in agony. The pain doesn't end after labor I discovered. I can't even walk for a while it hurts so much, they put me in a recovery ward for a while, the Birthmother Lola is there too and soon after me another, Phoebe joins us. We entertain each other mostly, the nurses and attendants come in every now and then to check on our physical well being, but they hardly talk to us.

After the pain recedes I'm returned to the Dormitories, where Anna and Grace are waiting for me excitedly. We exchange stories with one another about the experiences. And they are thrilled to hear that I got to see the Product.

That Ceremony, Anna and I are once again kept in the Dorms, being prepared for another insemination, but Grace is allowed to go and we tell her to keep an eye out for our products, Number 33 and Number 48. She returns with their names, Parker and Aimee. "Mine was named Claire" she says, getting a wistful look in her eye.

I was given six months to recover, and then they called me back in for another insemination. This time I was the first out of our group. The sixth birthmother to get inseminated for that year's batch, Grace was skipped over that year, her body wasn't going to be ready for a while, but Anna was inseminated with what would be the Twenty-Fifth newchild.

My second labor hadn't been as painful as the first, and it hadn't lasted nearly as long. Again they untied the mask and I turned my head and got a glimpse of the newchild.

Another female. Another perfect female.

They started to pay more attention to me, the caretakers did. Which bothered me, since it meant I had to pay more attention to the rules. They started calling me in for "special" examinations. It was like being in training again. They were touching me and testing me, it seemed to me that they were looking for something.

"Well she's not going to be ready for a while yet" my primary physician, her name was Twyla, had said during one exam. "I'm guessing at least another six months. If they are serious about using her for this than I would give her a year, just to make sure."

So I was given a year to recover. I was allowed to go to the Ceremony (I was sixteen now, I calculate), and Anna makes me promise to report to her the name of her newchild. I sit beside Bianca and together we take note of our friends' products as they are marched up to the stage and given names and family units. I see my little female, Number 6, see her taken up the steps to an eager family unit, complete with a young male already, and given the name Delilah. I then saw Anna's little male, Number Twenty-five given to a childless couple, and named Zebedee. Bianca and I had made a face over the name, but we both later agreed that the boy himself was adorable.

My year of recovery passes; we receive another dorm-mate, Doreen. She's a short stocky little thing with curly hair and a great sense of humor. Grace has her second product, Number Three, a male. I'm watched and observed and examined. Finally they decide that I'm "what they are looking for". What they are looking for though, I have no clue.