Peter had been concentrating so hard that he got a nosebleed. James grabbed some tissues from one of the toilet cubicles and held it out to his friend as Sirius wiped some of the blood away from the text-books.

"It's hopeless." Peter said miserably, pushing his tail out of the way and sitting down. He had partly transformed into his animal counterpart but couldn't pursue it anymore.

"Good." Remus muttered under his breath. "One less life to worry about."

"If you are going to go on one of your self-righteous rants," Sirius said. "I don't want to hear it."

Remus opened his mouth but James interrupted. "Come on, Wormy," He said. "Let's try again."

Peter stood up and sighed, looking depressed. "It's no use. I'm not as good as you guys."

"Please," James replied, rolling his eyes. "You're smarter than you think you are."

"But, y'know…" Sirius said. "Don't think you can outdo Dumbledore."

"Wasn't planning to." Peter replied. He screwed up his face, still holding the tissue to his face, and concentrated hard. Sirius pushed the book away and began to pace. He was getting restless so he transformed into a dog and began to annoy Remus for attention.

Peter let out a gasp and fell to the floor. James yanked him up. "You gotta keep trying Pete," He said. Sirius yelped in approval of James' words and Remus smiled weakly at his friend before scratching the back of his ear.

"You make a very sweet disposition as a dog." James remarked, pulling out his wand and aiming it at Peter's head. "You should make the change permanent."

Padfoot gave a look that suggested that James was talking lunacy. But he quickly forgot to be annoyed with James when Remus pulled out an turkey and gravy sandwich, which he promptly nicked, running off into the corner and eating it quickly. Remus stared at the dog before rolling his eyes and getting up to help Peter.

"Maybe it's just not meant to happen." Peter said. He tugged at one of the whiskers protruding from his face.

"Give it time," James reassured him. Sirius barked in agreement. "Keep it down," James hissed. "If we get caught by Filch, there is no telling what will happen!"

"We get two days off schoolwork before going home and not coming back," Remus replied.

"That doesn't sound so bad." Peter commented.

"Expulsion." James said simply. "Pete, concentrate."

"Sorry." Peter said.

"Padfoot, check the hallway. And y'know… Eat Mrs Norris if you see her." Remus said.

"Well… Eating is a bit strong." James said, turning away for a moment. "Scratch her up a bit. Make it look like she got into a fight with another cat."

"Xeno told me an interesting theory," Remus said.

"Moony," James said calmly as Sirius trotted out into the corridor outside the bathrooms and looked around. "I know some of his theories could be true. However, I advise you to take whatever he says with a bit of salt."

Remus grinned sitting on the window sill. "I know perfectly well how to handle Xeno." He replied. "I said it was a theory. I didn't say I believed it."

"Go on then." Came Sirius's voice. He had turned back to his normal self, tall and haughty… The kind that would make women rip off their clothes for him. Or at least he thought they would. "Let's hear it." He leaned against the toilet stall and grinned.

"I don't like being mocked," Remus said.

"Oh, after 5 years, we know this about you." James said. "Now I am genuinely interested."

"Can we stop for like 5 minutes?" Peter asked. "I want to hear this too."

"Mrs Norris is supposedly an animagus." Remus said.

James dropped his wand. "What?" He asked.

"An animagus." Remus repeated.

"I heard you the first time." James replied. "I just wanted to pretend that I hadn't and that you were making it up."

"How…?" Sirius asked.

"Do you remember that Filch is a squib?" Remus asked, his friends nodded. "Well, supposedly, according to Xeno, his older sister was learning to become an animagus when Filch was little. Filch was of course jealous that his entire family could do magic and he couldn't so he stole her wand whilst she was practising and was about to cast a spell on her. It backfired and she got stuck as a cat. Dumbledore offered the position of caretaker after his family disowned him."

"If it wasn't for the fact that I absolutely hated him," Sirius said, closing his robes. "I would actually feel some sympathy."

"Of course it's… It's just a theory… Right?" Peter squeaked.

James let out a laugh. "You worry too much." He said. "Relax. And think about rattiness… Is that a word?" He looked over at Remus who shrugged and opened a chocolate frog. James turned back to Peter and slapped his hand on his shoulder comfortingly. Peter's knees buckled slightly under the pressure.

Peter sighed. "It's not meant to happen." James was frowning. "What?" Peter asked.

"Well… I didn't think it was possible." James said. "But your shrinking."

Sirius let out a bark like laugh as Remus got down from the window. "James, you're not lying."

Sirius stopped laughing. "How can he be shrinking?"

Peter was shrinking fast. James took a step back, joining Remus and Sirius, who were staring at the petrified Peter as he shrank and sprouted hair from every pore.

James picked the rat up. "Peter… You did it."

The rat squeaked.

"No," Sirius replied. "You can't have a nibble at the cheese in my pocket."

"You have cheese in your pocket?" Remus asked, looking over, a crease forming on his forehead.

"Never know if I'm going to be peckish or not." Sirius shrugged.

Remus rolled his eyes. "You can change. That's great." He smiled bleakly, as if to say that it really wasn't. "But how are we going to change you back?"

"Come on man," James said. "Let him have his fun."

"The book says that if the person spends more time as an animal, then it will be more difficult for them to turn back to their original form." Remus pointed out.

"C'mon Moony," Sirius said as James held the rat aloft in both hands. "It's not like he's going to spend 20 years as a rat."

"You know what I mean." Remus said. "I don't want you guys to become disfigured over time."

"We're not." James said. "As if you could disfigure perfection such as this."

Remus said nothing.

"Fine!" James said catching his gaze and giving the rat over to him as he pulled out his wand. "Wormtail, stay as still as you can."

Peter obliged. Sirius also pulled out his wand and held it out to Peter who sniffed it patiently.

"On the count of three, Moony," James said. "Drop him."

"I beg your pardon?" Remus almost shrieked.

"He'll be fine," Sirius said. "We hope."

"That fills me with confidence." Remus muttered.

"Never mind your confidence." Sirius said. "One…"

"Two…"

"Three." Remus dropped Peter as James and Sirius flicked their wands. In a flash the rat fell to the floor and shot up like a tree in slow motion. Peter tumbled out, dizzy and feeling sick.

"How was that mate?" James asked.

"Nauseating," Peter replied. "Do you really have cheese in your pocket or was that your feet?"

Sirius blushed. "I like cheese."

"Well done mate," James said. "So, when's the next full moon, Moony?" He turned to look at Remus who was now shaking his head.

"No." He said.

"I beg your pardon?" Sirius asked. "What do you mean by 'no'?"

"I mean, you're not doing it." Remus said. "I don't care how successful Sirius was a few months ago."

"Here he goes again…" James said. "Remus, if you don't stop with the 'I'm-not-worth-all-this' bullshit, I will resort to desperate measures."

"Such as sticking our wands up your arse." Sirius said.

"And shouting expelliarmus." James finished.

"But not in a sexual way…" Sirius said. James hit him on the arm.

"That was perfectly fine till you messed it up." He said.

"Well, I'm just saying! I don't want him getting the wrong impression of me." Sirius said as Remus stepped forward and handed Peter some chocolate.

"Eat," He said. "You'll feel better." Peter took it gratefully.

"Want to try again?" Sirius asked, rolling up his sleeves.

Peter nodded. "Give me a minute to settle my stomach first."

…

"I DON'T GIVE TWO ACHING SHITS!" Was Sirius's bellow throughout the Gryffindor common room. Mary was staring at him, her face flushed and eyes burning. First years were staring in awe, whilst some of the older students were ignoring forcefully. A few got up and started to leave, knowing full well what was going to happen and not wanting to be caught in the war.

"YOU SHOULD!" Mary bellowed back. "IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME SO IT SHOULD BE EQUALLY AS IMPORTANT TO YOU!"

"I DON'T HONESTLY CARE!" Was Sirius's reply.

"YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME!" Mary shrieked.

"Oh not this again!" Sirius cried, throwing himself onto the sofa, forcing a few second years to move.

"YES THIS AGAIN!" Mary shouted, marching up to him and pulling him sharply off the chair. "LOOK AT ME WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU!"

"You're not talking." Sirius said, a smirk playing on his lips. "You're yelling."

"Because you're not listening!" Mary shrieked again.

"For a bloody good reason!" Sirius said, his voice rising in anger, as he curled his hands into tight fists to stop himself hitting her. "YOU'RE GETTING UPSET OVER NOTHING!"

"It's not 'nothing'!" Mary screamed.

"What the bloody hell is going on in here?" Came a voice. Sirius twisted around to see James and Peter standing at the doorway. James as dishevelled and rugged as ever and Peter clutching several heavy potions books.

"Tell her what she did to me was unjust!" Sirius said, raising his finger and pointing to Mary. "She's accusing me of cheating! Tell her she's a paranoid freak!"

"If that's the case," Mary said. "Then tell Black he's an arrogant selfish pig-headed TWAT!"

James and Peter looked at each other and then at the couple. All eyes in the common room were fixed upon the three boys and girl in fear anticipation and almost ravenous hunger to find out what happened next. Before saying anything to Sirius or Mary, James turned to a group of first years who were watching carefully.

"Isn't your bedtime?"

"It's 10 o'clock!" Replied a cocky-looking one. "The sun's still up!"

"Exactly my point," James said. They groaned and slammed their books shut before heading to their dormitories. James then turned back to his friends and stared at them pitifully.

"Sirius," He said calmly, pushing his glasses up his nose. "You are a pig-headed, selfish, arrogant twat. Okay?"

Sirius opened his mouth to protest but James held up his hand to silence him. Mary looked quite smug. James turned to her. "That also means to say," He said. "That yes, you are a bit paranoid."

"You've only heard his side of the story!" Mary said.

"No, I've also heard from Remus." James said calmly. "A confident of yours? Yes, well, he never mentioned what you have done, but for goodness sakes, Sirius has a life of his own. Now the pair of you calm down."

"But he… He… Cheated on me!" Mary cried on the verge of tears.

"Sirius is many things," James said calmly. "Don't start with the waterworks, they are not going to work on me. Now Sirius is many things, arrogant, a prat, frankly fantastic as a wizard, stupid in the common sense department I'm sad to say… But he is not a liar. He doesn't lie to those he loves. And I will believe him to be a good honest man till my dying day." There was a click of the door behind them and Lily and Remus entered, tired from the evening patrol.

Mary burst into tears and ran off up to her dormitory.

"We missed something, didn't we Lily?" Remus said. Lily looked at James with hatred on her face.

"What did you do?" She asked.

"I told her the truth." James replied and Peter nodded feverishly.

"Told her a bloody lie more like!" Lily spat, before running up after Mary. Remus continued to stand confused and a little awkward before turning to the observers.

"Don't you all have studying to do?" He asked. "Or at least homework? I know you do Creevley," He nodded towards a small second year who looked as if he was about to wet himself with excitement as he was being addressed to one of the popular kids in school. He nodded and ducked to do his work.

Sirius slumped onto the sofa, staring at the fire and curling his hands around the edge of the seat. James sat beside him and sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose before realising that they were dirty. He pulled them off and began to rub them with a cloth.

"Want to talk about what all that was?" He asked.

"No." Sirius said gruffly.

"Liar." Remus said, pulling his bag forward and taking out thick roll of parchment and a quill.

"It's nothing." Sirius said.

"That wasn't nothing," Peter said, peering over Remus' shoulder.

"What's going on?" James asked. "You two have been in more fights this last month than full moons in the last year."

"I don't know why she doesn't trust me. We've been together for so long…" Sirius sighed. James gave him a look. The one that a mother might give a child if it had done something naughty and she was wanting it to own up.

Sirius let out a groan. "She played a trick on me to see if I was faithful."

"What was the trick?" Peter asked.

"Well, apparently, she was meant to flirt with someone and see if she could bait a reaction from me. If I reacted the way that I did (doing and saying nothing) then I wasn't interested in her and I was cheating on her. In her mind it works but in the real world… Not so much."

"Sounds rough." Remus said, sitting back and scratching his chin with his quill – a habit he had gotten into when he was thinking carefully.

"You don't know the half of it." Sirius muttered.

"You weren't cheating on her, were you Sirius?" Remus asked, thoughtfully.

Sirius stared at him. "What does that matter?"

"Well, it does." Remus said. "If you were cheating on her, that gives her the excuse and makes you – and might I say the rest of us for defending you - look like the bad guys."

"No, I wasn't cheating on her," Sirius replied in a monotone.

"Well, I personally don't see what your problem is," James said. "It's not like you want to marry her, is it?"

"No," Sirius said. "Can you picture me as the commitment type?"

"Honestly," Peter said. "No."

"It's easy for you to say," Sirius muttered, looking over at James. "You've got your future wife, child and possibly grandchildren all planned out."

"They will be beautiful and have Lily's eyes and my hair." James said, grinning.

"Come on, you can't seriously believe that." Remus said, looking up.

James smiled weakly. "No… Not quite."

"Oh dear." Sirius said. "He's about to show his caring side. Take cover."

"Shut up," James said shoving him.

"Okay, I'll bite," Remus said. "What's up?"

James let out a sigh. "At first… I was just teasing her about going out with me. To annoy her… But lately… I don't know… I think I'm really starting to fall for her."

"Well, don't do anything stupid." Remus said.

"Is that why you've been acting weird whenever we say her name in front of you?" Sirius asked.

"No!" James said.

"Yes," Peter corrected.

"It'll pass… Right?" James said.

"God knows." Sirius shrugged.

"Well I'm going to bed." Remus said. "Before you three come up with a clever idea to get us all killed, expelled or worse in a prank that's been festering in your heads."

Sirius grinned. "You know us too well."

"What are you more concerned about?" James asked. "Being killed or expelled?"

"Expelled." Remus shrugged. "Death just means I don't need to put up with you three on a daily basis."

"We love you too, Moony," James grinned.

"Goodnight," Remus said, rolling up his parchment and grabbing his satchel before leaving the common room.

Sirius turned to James and Peter. "Kitchens?"