Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. This story idea belongs to marieloveseclare. Thanks to arctic_grey for writing The Black Rose Season and being a writing inspiration.

Author's note: Thank you so much for the reviews. And... don't hate me for the beginning of this chapter. Um, remember the warning in the prologue? Maybe it will make sense now. *winky face*

"I comb the crowd and pick you out, my mouth moves too fast for you to figure it out.
It starts: eyes closed to fingers crossed to 'I swear, I say.'"

XO | Fall Out Boy

"It's okay."

"No, Clare… I crossed the line."

Jake is standing behind Clare as she makes some toast for herself before heading out to work, trying not to look at her best friend. Jake left her a dozen voicemails and showed up at her apartment this morning, asking for forgiveness.

Clare can't say no to his smile. She knows that she always forgives him too easily, but it's Jake.

"Seriously, Jake, that's fine," sighs Clare, turning around. She lets out a little gasp as she realizes how close Jake is. He seems truly sorry, and his eyes look red and tired.

"I just don't want you to think that I used that information to deliberately hurt you," he says, placing a finger under Clare's chin. "The first thing I saw was your purity ring and I just… I'm so sorry."

"It was a fake fight," says Clare, reaching out for Jake's hand and removing it off her chin. "That's fine."

"And he believed it, right?" asks Jake excitedly.

"I… yeah. He did." Clare feels uneasy, because she can't stop thinking about Eli and how he tried to be nice to her after the "fight" with Jake. He seems to be a decent guy after all, even if he's a little arrogant, but Clare always seems to be attracted to those guys.

Not that she's attracted to Eli Goldsworthy, because she's not. He has only been nice to her for a day after all, and the fact that they're meeting after her shift doesn't make her feel nervous at all. No, not at all.

"You look pensive," chuckles Jake.

"Oh, yeah," blushes Clare, pushing Eli's green eyes out of her mind. "Um… so I forgot to tell you something."

"Yeah?" grins Jake, grazing Clare's cheek with his hand. Why is he being like this? Clare doesn't understand, Jake has never been this… physically affectionate with her. Sure, a couple hugs and kisses on the cheek, but not this.

"Eli has a tattoo," blurts Clare. "A silver circle, just like the one on the papers you got. And two of his friends do too."

"Holy shit," says Jake breathlessly, dropping his hand. "I mean, really? Wow! But… Clare, this is great!"

"Sorry I didn't tell you before, it just came to mind," blushes Clare, and Jake gives her a hug.

"You haven't even been friends with the dude for a day and you're already a jackpot of information," says Jake, holding her tightly. "You're the best. The best!"

"I know," teases Clare, and Jake gently lets go of her.

"Now… I know you guys are hanging out today, for your project or whatever," says Jake calmly. "It doesn't matter how long it takes, as long as you get more info on him. Now I'm convinced this society exists."

Clare remains silent as Jake stares at the ceiling in concentration. Then he looks at her again and smiles widely at her. "You're so amazing. Did you know that?"

"You've said that several times, yes," giggles Clare, and all of a sudden, Jake grabs her hand.

"I feel like apologizing again," he says, and Clare shudders as their fingers intertwine. "I feel like such a jerk. I really didn't want to hurt you, and I want to make sure you know that."

He's stepping closer, and Clare looks into his eyes, wondering what's going on. "And if I've been a coward when it comes to us…" he says, and the words make Clare's heart explode. "It's not because of your vow. It's because I'm an idiot, that's all."

"Us?" echoes Clare.

"Unless I've been misreading you for the last year… you like me, don't you?" asks Jake as he leans in. "There's all this tension between us, and I can't ignore it anymore. Neither can you."

Jake kisses her, and warmth engulfs her. His lips move slowly on hers, and it's just like she imagined it. This is better than her first kiss with K.C. This isn't a dream, it's really happening, and she feels Jake's arms wrap around her.

"I like you," Jake mutters against Clare's lips. "Sorry for being such an ass. I was afraid of ruining our friendship. Sorry for not kissing you that night, I wanted to. I really did."

Clare smiles, happiness all over her face, and she's about to kiss Jake again when Alli enters the kitchen, letting out a loud squeal. "You guys! Oh my gosh! You were totally… Finally!"

Alli runs over to them and hugs them, still squealing. Jake looks embarrassed but he's still grinning, and Clare knows that her face probably resembles the color of a tomato.

"Alli, we need to keep this quiet," says Jake, and Clare's heart sinks a little. He looks at Clare and mouths "Eli" to her, making some of the uneasiness go away.

"Why?" asks Alli, suddenly irritated.

"Clare is working on a special project for the paper," says Jake. "And I don't want my editor to find out that we're… um. You know."

Jake puts an arm around Clare's shoulder, and Alli gives them a knowing smile. "Okay, fine," she chuckles. "This totally makes up for the crappy day I had yesterday."

"Oh, sorry to hear that," says Clare, remembering how Alli seemed miserable the morning before.

"If you see Drew Torres walking around with a black eye, it wasn't me," winks Alli, stealing Clare's toast and walking out of the kitchen.

"Whoa, a black eye?" calls Jake after her.

"Yes!" calls Alli from the living room. "So you better be a good boyfriend to Clare!"

Jake raises an eyebrow at Clare, who starts laughing uncontrollably. Jake just shrugs and gives her another peck on the lips, and the butterflies in Clare's stomach are out of control.

"I could get used to this," he smiles.

Clare tries not to sigh, not to squeal and scream with joy, but she can't help a nervous giggle. She thinks of Darcy, who always said that Jake and Clare would end up together, even when they were in their early teens. Clare should e-mail her soon.

"Yeah… same here."

Xxxxxx

Clare stares into space dreamily; still thinking about the kiss she shared with Jake. She still can't believe it happened and she looks around for signs of the apocalypse, but everything seems all right.

"Clare, you have a customer," calls Peter from the back, and Clare blushes as she rings up some books for a tried-looking guy.

"Books are so unnecessary," yawns the guy. "But my teachers keep telling me, 'Declan, you need to buy them. Declan, you need to pass this class.' Isn't showing up good enough to get a degree?"

Clare laughs at Declan's comments, and he pulls his wallet out of his pocket, staring at the myriad of credit cards in it. He finally decides on a shiny black one, and he smiles coquettishly at Clare.

"Your eyes are beautiful," he says. "What are you doing working behind a counter?"

"This pays my rent," smiles Clare.

"Ah, rent," says Declan as Clare hands him his receipt. "The struggles of the college student! Don't worry, I'm sure you'll make enough money to forget about rent someday. What's your major?"

"Public relations," says Clare.

"If I ever need a PR lady, I will call you," says Declan, cocking his head to the side. A pretty girl approaches him, and she runs her hand through her long hair impatiently.

"Declan, hurry up," she snaps, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and Clare stares.

"See something you like?" the girl retorts and Clare looks away shyly, earning a dry laugh from Declan.

"Now, now, Fiona, calm down," says Declan pompously. "Let's go. "See you later, Clare."

Declan looks around before leaving and his eyes focus on something in the back of the store, but Clare is too embarrassed to follow his gaze. Declan nods and he and Fiona leave the bookstore, and Clare clutches her name badge anxiously.

Fiona had a tattoo. She had a silver tattoo on the back of her ear; Clare saw it when the girl was fixing her hair. This is getting intricate, and Clare regrets not asking them more, and she also wonders if Declan has a tattoo as well. Yeah, the secret society definitely exists. She just wishes she knew what the circle means.

Killing freshmen? No, that can't be it. Sadie was a first, and nobody had any motives to kill her. She was just an outgoing student with a basketball scholarship, no known enemies. So why-?

"Hey."

Clare looks up and Eli is smirking at her, his hair a little messy. Clare's feels a foreign sensation inside of her, and her trademark blush betrays her. She didn't even see Eli walk in.

"Buying something?" she asks politely.

"This," says Eli, placing a chocolate bar on the counter. Clare looks at Eli's hands, at the rings on his fingers, at the black fingernails. She looks up again and they both smile at each other awkwardly as Clare scans the bar.

"Any ideas for our essay?" asks Eli as he hands Clare some money. "I've been thinking about us all day- Our essay. Our essay, yeah."

"Um, I don't know what to write about," says Clare, giving Eli his change. "My shift ends in about fifteen minutes. Think you can wait?"

Eli pockets the money and winks at her as he starts unwrapping the chocolate. "I'll wait for you outside, Edwards." He gives Clare a long, calculating look before walking away, and two girls in line stare after him in awe. One of them has long, brown hair, and the other one has short spiky hair.

"He's so mysterious," giggles one of them as Clare is about to check them out.

"I would totally do him," says the other one, and both start giggling and squealing.

"Did you find everything okay?" asks Clare coldly, scanning some books. These girls are kind of annoying, really. And what's up with those short skirts?

"Yeah," says the brown-haired girl, who then turns to look at her friend. "I'm in the same class as Imogen Moreno, you know, the drama major?"

"Oh, the odd one with the weird outfits?" says the redhead.

"That one. I kind of want to be friends with her; she's always hanging out with Eli. Ugh, Eli Goldsworthy is so freaking hot!"

"60.95," mutters Clare, feeling more and more upset.

"And all those rumors about him… fuck, he's just so yummy," giggles the redhead, and Clare loses her patience.

"Do you mind paying? Or do I have to wait?" says Clare acidly, and the girls scoff at her.

"Ladies, I'm so glad you found your books," says Peter out of nowhere. "Let me give you your change…"

Peter gently pushes Clare away from the register, taking money out of the till. Clare looks at the manager, Darcy's ex-boyfriend who was kind enough to give her a job, and she feels ashamed about her behavior. Peter gives Clare a side glare, shaking his head in disappointment, and the girls leave. Clare is still seething, irritated by the shallow girls, but Peter seems genuinely upset and Clare decides that she has more important matters to take care of.

"You've been kind of off today," says Peter. "You just channeled Darcy right there with that snappy attitude." Peter smiles sadly, and Clare knows that he's still pining over her sister.

"Just a lot going on," mumbles Clare.

"Hey, guys!" says Connor, putting his name badge around his neck.

"I'll sort out the receipts," says Peter, placing a hand on Clare's shoulder. "Go home and relax or something, just make sure you come back with a better attitude."

"Sorry," says Clare, and she means it.

"We all have bad days," smiles Peter, and starts pushing her away. "Go, baby Edwards, go."

Clare takes off her name badge and walks away, feeling guilty. Sure, she was distracted all day, thinking of Jake's kiss. But her reaction to the girls was something that she didn't expect. Why did she feel so angry with them? Eli is attractive, that's true, so the girls weren't doing anything wrong. Clare goes to her locker and retrieves her purse, scolding herself for being a bad employee. She can't afford to lose her temper like that again, especially not in front of Peter.

She waves at Connor and Peter before leaving the store, and an odd sense of fury corrodes her when she steps outside and she sees the girls talking to Eli. He looks bored and his smile seems a little forced, and his hands are in his pockets.

"Eli!" calls Clare and Eli looks over at her, a grateful smile appearing on his lips. He doesn't even say goodbye to the girls, he just walks away, looking relieved.

"I was this close to pulling out my rape whistle," says Eli, his expression pained.

"That bad, huh?" mocks Clare.

"You have no idea," says Eli. "So, library? We could pick up some books there and then just go outside and read. The weather is so nice today."

Clare looks at the cloudy sky and then back at Eli, and of course he would say it's nice weather. He seems like the kind of guy who loves a cloudy day.

"Sounds great," says Clare, and they start walking towards the library.

"Are you feeling better?" he asks tentatively as they walk.

"About what?" asks Clare.

"Jake."

Clare doesn't look at him, afraid that her eyes will give it away. Of course she's feeling better about Jake, they kissed this morning. She's feeling nothing but bliss, and everything is perfect in the world.

"Yes," nods Clare. "Glad to have him out of my life."

"That's… good," shrugs Eli. "You shouldn't be around people like that."

"You mean like you?" asks Clare, sticking out her tongue.

"Hey! I was only mean to you because I thought you had something with Jake," says Eli defensively.

"Jealous?" teases Clare.

"No, I meant something like a conspiracy against me," sneers Eli. "Jealous? You wish, Edwards!"

"I'm too good for you anyway," huffs Clare proudly as she starts to walk faster.

"Walking fast won't me make want to be your friend!" calls Eli after her, and Clare starts laughing as she turns around to face him.

"Who says that I want to be your friend?" says Clare loudly.

"Do you hear that?" says Eli, placing his hand behind his ear. "That's my heart breaking."

"You have one?" retorts Clare playfully.

"Yeah, right here." Eli grabs Clare's hand and places it on his chest, and he's smiling tauntingly at her. Eli's hand on hers makes her shiver a little, and she just looks into his eyes, seeing how warmly he's looking at her.

"It's beating," notes Clare.

"It is, isn't it?" says Eli, letting go of Clare's hand. "Told you I had a heart. I never lie."

But thoughts of the tattoos come rushing into Clare's mind, and she doesn't know what to believe.

xxxxxxx

Eli is still writing on his journal, and Clare waits patiently as she rests her head on her hands. She glances around the garden, watching other students who are reading or just hanging out. She also looks at some of the people leaving the library and smirks when she sees Drew walking out with a curly-haired girl. Yes, he has a black eye. Alli can act really crazy sometimes.

"So... rain."

Eli's voice is mocking and full of sarcasm, and Clare decides to play along.

"Yeah... rain."

Eli and Clare glance at each other and they start laughing, realizing how ridiculous their assignment sounds.

"We're in college, for fuck's sake," groans Eli. "Sorry about the blasphemy."

"No need to apologize," says Clare, touching the cross around her neck. "I'm not a stuck-up Christian."

"Hmm," says Eli, jotting down some notes on his journal. "Still, I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"You already did that a few days ago," mocks Clare, but Eli doesn't say anything, he just continues to write. They sit in silence for a while, the cool breeze making everything feel pleasant, and Clare flips through the pages of the book that Eli picked at the library.

"I want to figure you out," says Eli, breaking the silence.

"Excuse me?" asks Clare, looking up from the book.

"I can't figure you out, not yet," muses Eli. "It's kind of killing me. I usually read people easily, but I feel like you're hiding something."

"You're paranoid," blushes Clare as she looks away. Of course she's hiding something, she's spying on him, she's probably going to be the end of him. Clare heart aches a little at the thought.

"I probably am," smirks Eli. "I just don't trust people, it's my nature."

Clare looks at him and she can almost see how Eli's defenses are floating in front of him, teasing her. He's never going to open up to her, she will never find out anything about Sadie. And somehow, that thought is a little comforting.

"Why?" asks Clare curiously.

"Why what?" responds Eli, stretching his arms.

"You said you don't trust people... why?" Clare tries to sound understanding and warm, hoping that Eli will open up at least a little. But there is darkness in his green eyes, and his nostrils flare with distrust as his hands clutch his notebook tightly. He's a different person now in Clare's eyes, a person who looks dangerous and secretive, a person who is capable of the utmost evil. Clare's shaking, and she hopes that Eli doesn't notice. But then Eli smiles and all bad thoughts disappear, and Clare wonders if she just imagined everything.

Eli chuckles softly and his lips part to answer Clare's question.

"I don't trust myself."

"That's a pretty strong statement," says Clare, trying to keep things light.

"I have nothing to hide, that's why I'm telling you," says Eli simply.

"Nothing to hide, hmm," muses Clare. "Does that mean that I can ask you anything?"

Eli considers her for a moment and then slides his journal down his back pocket. "It depends."

"Ah, so you do have stuff to hide," says Clare.

"No, it's not that," says Eli coolly. "I just don't know you that well."

"What do you want to know?" asks Clare, knowing that she might regret saying that.

"Are you single?" asks Eli bluntly.

Clare hesitates for a second, but she knows that she has to lie. "I… yeah. Yes."

"Hmm." Eli stares at his own hands and seems to be examining his fingernails with infinite detail, and then looks at her shrewdly.

"Why do you want to know?" insists Clare.

"I was just curious," says Eli. "And… Well, you heard Imogen. I've seen you around before."

"Are you a stalker?" says Clare, trying to sound mocking but just coming across as nervous. Eli is not hitting on her, is he? This is the most inconvenient time. Not because she's with Jake now, but because she has no feelings for Eli whatsoever. None.

"You're hard to miss, Clare," says Eli, sounding sincere. "And we had a class together during your first year, I think. You just seemed like the kind of girl who would never talk to me."

"What makes you say that?" asks Clare, now feeling a little remorseful.

"You're a nice girl, that's all."

"But Imogen is a nice girl, and she talks to you," points out Clare.

"Imogen has been my friend for years," says Eli dismissively. "Imogen and Adam are my best friends, they kind of have to talk to me."

Eli says this in such a pragmatic way, as if his friends really have no choice. Clare realizes that he seems lonely and terribly sad; there is a hint of despair in his eyes when he speaks.

"Well, I would be your friend, but you don't want me to," says Clare.

"Why should I let you in?" asks Eli, scratching his cheek. "What makes you different from other girls?"

"I…" Clare has a loss for words. "I don't know."

"There you go," says Eli, running his hand over the grass. "Fuck, this conversation is depressing."

"You made it depressing!" exclaims Clare.

Eli laughs and nods as he lies down on the grass. "Sorry, I tend to do that. Wanna lay down with me?"

"I should… go home," says Clare, mildly tempted to follow Eli's suggestion.

"Do you live nearby? Do you want me to give you a ride?" asks Eli, sitting up.

"No, I can walk, but thanks," says Clare in a flustered tone. "We didn't get anything done."

"We have time, we have a semester," says Eli as they both start getting on their feet. They're very close to each other as they stand up and Clare's eyes trail down to Eli's neck, and then to the exposed part of his collarbone. She can see half of the tattoo right there, mocking her, taunting her. But then their eyes meet, and it's a whole different sensation. Clare's fingertips feel warm, and Eli looks like he's about to lean in, but this isn't right.

She looks away and she swears she can hear Eli's disappointment, and she's surprised by the regret that starts sinking in her heart.

"See you later, okay?" says Clare wretchedly, her emotions confusing her like never before.

"Sure, whatever," says Eli, walking away from her. She turns around and starts walking quickly, as if that will make her forget about what just happened. She tries to think of her kiss with Jake, anything to make her forget about what Eli is making her feel. She's supposed to hate Eli, she's supposed to use him for information. That's all she needs from him. And nice girls don't feel like this, they don't feel confusion like this. Good girls like one guy, and one guy only, and they stay with that guy forever.

She shouldn't feel like this. But she does.

She likes Eli.