CHAPTER THREE

Lindsey stared at the hunter in a way Dean knew, it was the look Lisa had given Ben when he threw a temper tantrum.

"You met Death; you know what is in my future."

Dean felt his throat tighten. He had never truly believed what the man had told him. It just seemed too impossible.

"I needed to know what would happen to all this when that day came."

Dean sighed regretfully. "And we failed."

Lindsey looked at him in amused surprise. "No Dean, Humanity passed. - Heaven failed."

"What?"

"Dean, it's been almost a thousand years since there has been any proof of my existence and yet you, humanity, still have faith. You still try to live by the rules I set down. - Of course there's war and death, suffering, but that's life. It's all there to make you better, stronger, to teach. – but in all your faith is as strong today as it was a thousand years ago."

Dean scoffed.

"You all have faith Dean, even you. – Sam's faith has been a constant, despite everything he's been through; deep down he still has faith in me, in himself, in you – and so do you."

He sent her a disbelieving look and Lindsey sighed.

"… Faith isn't about…" she glanced around fixing her gaze of the bible next to the bed. "….what's written in that book Dean, faith comes in many forms."

"Oh please."

Lindsey ignored him. "… Your faith is in what's right, it's in people…. You had faith in him."

That caught Dean in the gut, he turned away; the sudden sting of tears burning against the back of his eyes.

"He gave you a faith you were lacking. You gave him courage. – Just as I knew you would."

Dean's head snapped around and Lindsey saw the tears he was trying desperately to hide.

"Dean, I made a mistake a long time ago. I created angels to watch over humanity, I demanded that they love you, but that wasn't enough. It was like telling a man with amnesia that he had to love a woman he doesn't remember. – My children didn't understand what love was, so how could I expect them to care for you. To watch over you the way I would." She sighed wearily. "… You took care of Sam; you cared for him as your father should have, because you love him. – You protected humanity because you love this world and the people in it. That's what I wanted from my children."

"So why didn't you just create them to love?" Dean asked through a tight throat.

"I made a mistake. I'm a father, Dean. Didn't your father make mistakes? – I thought then that the emotions and free will I gave you would have caused more harm; I thought without it the angels would be happy, but it merely created descent, jealously. Some angels fell, some merely didn't care and just followed my orders waiting for the day when you would be gone and they would once again bask solely in my love. By the time I had realised the mistake I'd made, it was too late. Lucifer was in hell and the others had already sent this in motion."

"You could have stopped it."

"Yes. – But I didn't. I decided to allow this to play out, to show heaven why you deserved their love and devotion. To show them that free will and love are stronger that blind devotion. – But I knew you would need help, someone partway between heaven and earth."

"Cas." It was getting harder for Dean to say his name.

"Yes. – Castiel isn't like the other angels Dean, he's one of the youngest. – He was created with the ability to love. He had compassion and doubt, he questioned – though he tried to hide it. – He was what I wanted my children to be. I wanted them to love you as much as you loved them…. And it was all going really very well… The time came for him to embrace the gift I'd given him. I sent him into hell knowing he would never give up until you were free."

"You?"

"Of course me." she said surprised, like it was such a ridiculous question.

"Why?"

"Because…."

Dean always hated that as an answer, his father had said it all the time, like it was meant to explain everything. "Because… why?"

"Because he needed someone of strength and courage, someone who loved deeply and to whom loyalty was everything. From the time I had your soul placed in the care of your mother Dean, you were always going to be with Castiel."

Dean frowned, that sounded so gay right now. Be with Cas.

Lindsey smirked. "I realised you are uncomfortable with your…. Feeling Dean, but that is neither here nor there, and I'm sure you going to hate this but…. You and Castiel are soul-mates quite literally.

Dean swallowed and blushed scarlet. "Wh – what?"

"I use just a small part of an angels graces to create a human soul Dean, that's why everyone has a guardian angel. – Yes they do exist. – There are many angels in heaven Dean; they are not all soldiers like Castiel. - You've met a cherub? Well guardian angels are similar, they as there to watch over the humans bound to them, keep them safe and when the time comes lead them to heaven. – But I knew a normal guardian angel would not suffice for you, not if you were going to hold out against Michael and Lucifer, not if you were going to have the strength to allow Sam to do what was needed. You would need a strength that a guardian angel could not provide. – So I took it from the angel who love and compassion matched your own."

"Cas." Dean swallowed, he wasn't sure whether to laugh or throw up and so he settled for simply glaring.