CHAPTER FIVE

Dean ran his hand through his hair. "So what now?"

"You tell me?"

There was a long drawn silence, neither one speaking, moving or it seemed breathing, until finally Dean spoke.

"Can you fix it?"

Lindsey smiled sadly for a moment. "Yes, of course. Do you think I'm here for the fun of it? – I was enjoying my retirement."

"Retirement? – Looking like that?" Dean smirked for the first time in what felt like eternity.

"I don't always look like this Dean; I can take on many forms. – I arrived here like this because I knew Sam would recognize me."

"So you did…. "

Lindsey laughed at the unasked question before gesturing to herself. "Hello, God."

"Yeah right. – That would most definitely be…. Weird, even for us."

"Yes it most certainly would. I simply made contact with Sam because I knew he needed it, because I saw that you and him were heading down the wrong path, separated, I needed you together. If you weren't…. well you saw what would have happened."

"Yeah." Dean sighed. "Thank heavens we put of stop to that."

He could have sworn something passed over Gods' face for the briefest moments, something like regret or shame…. Or sorrow. But it was gone too quickly and Dean figured he'd imagined it.

"So you're going to put everything back to rights then." Dean smiled confidently.

"Back to rights? – If you're asking if I'm going to wipe the past seven years – or the last 30. – clean; the answers no. What is done is done, Dean. What has happened is part of the lesson, if I erase it you will not be the man you need to be. A war is not over after a single battle Dean, his is not that end, but merely a lull in fighting."

"But…. Are you saying it's not over? – But you just said you were going to fix it."

"And I will. – I'll deal with Castiel, I'll return to heaven and try restore some semblance of peace, try to figure out where I went wrong."

"And then start this all over again!" Dean shouted. "Set up another test!"

Lindsey glared at him for the first time. "I do not answer to you Dean Winchester, you answer to me. I would remember that."

Dean knew when he'd crossed the line and though he tried to look defiant he kept his mouth closed.

After a short silence he nervously he broached the subjects he'd been trying not to think about. "What about Sam and Cas?"

"Sam… is a long term problem that you need to deal with together as a family, another lesson Dean. I'm sorry but there will be no quick fix for that one." She watched his jaw tighten as he fought to remain claim; something she knew was the most difficult thing in the world for him. But Sam had to learn to control his dark side, control that anger and hate that infected him. She could not just wipe it away; that would only lead to more horrific crimes.

"And Cas?"

"Castiel? – Well now that's a dilemma." She turned away from Dean, supposedly deep in thought. "I could wipe him from existence. – He would hurt no one again."

Dean felt his insides tighten at the thought. He was angry at him sure, but he didn't want him obliterated.

"I could take him back to heaven. Removed everything, wipe him memory of you, of earth. He would never be allowed here again. I'd find him a quiet little desk job."

That was just as painful. Never seeing Cas again. Knowing he was up there but unable to call on him, unable to talk to him, to laugh and tease him.

Lindsey smiled at the wall as she listened to the battle going on inside Dean's head. She had already decided what she was to do with Castiel. It was going to hurt far more than any of them knew.

"Or I could leave him here." She finally said.

"What?" Deans back straightened. "Here? – With his…"

"No." she turned to stare at him.

Dean contemplated that for a second. God was going to take away those destructive god powers and allow him to stay here, on earth. Dean didn't think too much into the whys or the what fors. He didn't say anything, too scared of how it would sound. Excitement? Pleading? Forgiveness?

Dean wasn't ready to forgive Cas yet.

"Well know that's all settled, I'll be on my way."

"Wh – What are you going to do?" Dean asked nervously.

"I will do what I always do Dean. – 'The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.' – Sam will be back in a moment. Remain here until you hear from me." then she was gone, leaving Dean staring at thin air, his mind a whirl with panic. 'The Lord taketh away.' That so didn't sound good.