A/N: I apologise in advance for any spelling mistakes in the following story. If there are any please forgive me and I hope it does not distract too much from your enjoyment. – If you enjoy :D

CHAPTER SEVEN

Castiel couldn't speak, his heart pounding painfully against his chest, his mind was silent, the soul were gone. He was himself again and it hurt more than anything he'd ever wanted to feel.

"…You took the lives of those that tried to help you. Brothers and sisters that put the faith and love in you…."

"Balthazar." Castiel wheezed through a tight throat, he could not blame that on the souls, that had been his own doing, though he had not wanted to kill his brother. - They had become so close, but he had seen what his brother had done not as an act of aid or support but as a betrayal and it had hurt and angered him deeply.

"That is the pain Dean feels now. He put his faith and trusted in you Castiel. His love…"

"Dean does not love me." he snapped defiantly. "He would have trusted me."

God meet his gaze questioningly "Or maybe you did not trust him. – You knew how he would react Castiel; you knew how he felt about secrets, especially after everything he went through with Sam. You told me yourself Castiel, Dean tried to remain loyal to you even when everything told him not to and you say he does not love you. He had spent weeks without sleep trying to find you, trying to find a way to save you…."

"Only so I can save Sam." Castiel's gaze dropped as more tears slipped free of his bright blue eyes. He understood that Dean would always put Sam first, it was right to do so, they were brothers. But as much as Castiel understood Dean's chooses, they hurt. He was jealous of Sam to some extent, because no matter what Castiel did for Dean, no matter how far he fell from heaven; Sam was number one in Dean's heart.

God sighed. "Do you really believe that Castiel? With everything you know about Dean."

Castiel couldn't speak, couldn't breathe. He wanted to believe God was right, that Dean wanted him back, that Dean loved him. - But he couldn't. He'd betrayed Dean. He'd always known working with Crowley was a betrayal. He'd allowed jealousy and desire to control his actions.

He'd pulled Sam out of hell, not to give Dean back the brother he loved, but to get Dean back. He'd known with Sam around he would never stay with that woman. That he would hit the road again and it would mean that he would be able to return to them. - To be with Dean.

Everything he'd done was so he could be with Dean, because he loved him. He hadn't thought beyond seeing him again. Beyond talking or arguing with him again. He'd destroyed so much because of that love.

God was right, it was a curse.

"I cannot allow you to remain here Castiel. You have committed too many crimes, killed too many innocent angels."

Castiel knew what this mean…. oblivion, the end of his existence and if he was honest he wanted it. This life he'd created, this love, was too painful. He wished he'd never been sent into hell after Dean Winchester.

"Do you really wish that?" God asked gently. "Knowing what it would mean, the people that would have died."

"Another would have been sent." Castiel replied, unsurprised that God had listened to his thoughts. "Dean would have followed the same path with or without me. – It was his destiny." Castiel said in a small voice.

"Do you truly believe that Castiel?" God whispered staring at the dark hanging head.

Castiel was everything God had created him to be, the grace of an angel with the heart of a human. Doubt. Pain. Love. It had all been what he'd wanted. But he had made Castiel too human, his doubts were too strong, his pain too deep, his love all consuming. He believed in others more than himself. He protected the ones he loved to the point of self-sacrifice and had a dependence to have those loved ones near no matter what the cost.

Could anyone doubt that Dean Winchester and Castiel were soul-mates, two bodies, one soul. - Just as God had created it.

But that had been a mistake, one that needed to be mended. Castiel needed punishment, but she could not bring herself to destroy him. She must take some of the blame.

She lifted Castiel's chin so the man was looking at her, meeting her gaze with his own broken one.

"Please, one thing before….. Do not punish my vessel. Give him back him family. – He deserves recompense for what I have done to him."

God sighed. "Jimmy will see his family again. One day. For now he will be released into the care of heaven."

"But…"

God shook her head. "His time has been and gone Castiel, you know that. The moment he was shot in that warehouse it was his time, the only reason he did not arrive in heaven was because he gave himself back to you in exchange for his daughter. – Without you, he will return home."

Castiel heaved a heavy sigh of mourning as he prepared for his punishment. Whispering a gentle apologies and farewell into the back of his mind, where Jimmy would hear it, he closed his eyes and waited.

Gods lips where gentle on his forehead. "I'm sorry Castiel." She whispered.