Riddle me this…riddle me that…

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, which had mainly been occupied since my first day on the job. There was always something to be done. Sanitizing equipment, sedating the Joker…just normal stuff for an asylum. And it strangely didn't upset me like it would have for a normal citizen.

I was waiting for a light on my way to Arkham. I had been working there for a week or so since I had started last week and it was now a Wednesday. Things seemed to be looking up after the first few days being pretty bad. I was one of the only female guards you see and…the males there were pretty desperate.

There were a slightly limited number of guards at Arkham, I mean there were hundreds, but it was a very large complex of buildings. Almost like a city within itself. A city with little to no women guards. I swear I felt like a piece of meat on the bay days.

My light turned green and I was on my way to yet another day of sexism and kicking ass. But I liked it that way…it never got boring. And if there was one thing I hated…it was being bored.

Walking in the giant gray doors I was met with a bunch of good luck charley's and pats on the back, forcing me into confusion. Working here wasn't that bad! I timed in and went to doctor Arkham's office such as the email I received last night said to do.

My first look in his office screamed 'pompous bastard' and so he was. With all the portraits of family members hanging on the wall and the rich coloring of the furnishings I felt like I was going in to meet the queen of England.

Dr. Arkham walked in then and strode behind his desk.

"Miss Zaney…" he stuck his hand out and gave me calculating look, as if waiting for me to detonate something.

"Dr. Arkham. You wanted to see me?" I gave his hand a firm shake and stood at attention, never breaking eye contact. He seemed impressed or as impressed as a person can look while giving you the default fish eye.

"Yes, I have reviewed your credentials personally and am very pleased with what I see. An Academy girl?"

"Yes sir." I answered. He nodded approvingly and picked up a file that had been sitting on his desk.

"I think you are ready for a high security prisoner, even if you are a bit of a newbie here and despite all of the negative votes on the subject." He stopped speaking here, gauging my reaction (which was hopefully still stony) before going on. "I reviewed your past marks and seeing as they were top notch all the way I believe there won't be any problems. I must tell you not to worry, this is only temporary." He then handed me a clipboard with a sheet of paper on it with the name "Nygma, Edward" printed on the top.

"You start today."

I saluted and headed off towards the high security wing, snickering slightly at the fellow's name. These patients were sick and deranged; most could hardly speak in proper language aside from mutterings so I felt sorry for them. But this guy was in the secure Area where the major loony bins were kept…this should be fun.

Showing my ID to the guard at the door at the intensive treatment center I was glanced at very funnily but shown through without any questions.

"This way miss…"

"Zayne, Bethany Zayne." I followed the brunette doctor through a few chambers of heavily locked doors and as we got nearer, the edgier she became. I was mentally bracing myself for the worst since she seemed to twitch as she looked back at me. Was I guarding Scarecrow? Dear god I hoped not.

My guide stopped suddenly right outside a set of doors.

"Remember, it's only temporary." Was the only thing she said before opening the door and indicating to a cell on the far right at the end of the hall.

I took one last glance at the file and lifted to see some of the information on the guy beforehand.

Patient's name: Edward Nygma aka; "The Riddler"

I normally would have collapsed on the spot but on duty I could only make my mouth twitch in response to the unwelcome sight. He would recognize my voice if I spoke, but fortunately being a guard didn't require speaking. Out of all the patients in Arkham, I had to get him! Just my luck!

Out of curiosity I read a bit more down the list. Six feet two inches, green eyes, browninsh-red hair…well if the guy wasn't a psychopathic murderer he might not be hard looking at.

I pursed my lips and marched over to take my stance next to his cell, trying my best not to look in. After hearing nothing for a few minutes I glanced into the room and lurched backwards when I came not a foot from the Riddler leaning up against the glass that separated us.

My head cracked hard against the wall from the closeness of the corner I was in and stars popped up in front of my eyes. He grinned a sly smile and asked sarcastically,

"I'm sorry, did I startle you?"

I would have been less creeped out if he had muttered 'I'm going to kill you'. The scary thing about this guy wasn't the I-see-right-through-you face he was giving me, but the way his words came out so normally. He talked as if he was on top of the world and I was an ant about to be crushed.

I shook off the feeling the best I could and returned to my professional stance.

While I could see that he hadn't moved one inch I wanted to edge away and get closer all at the same time. The upset in my head caused me to sway a bit from side to side.

"Dizzy? Do you need something to drink?" every inch of his tone dripped sarcasm. As if he could simply walk out the door and get me a glass of water, it was rather disconcerting.

'Don't speak. Don't speak.' I kept repeating in my head.

"Hm, most of the guards would have at least roughed me up by now. What's got you so quiet?" he asked casually.

Did guards do that? If they did it was a little cruel, I mean he was insane…a least I think he was, the guy sure didn't sound like it.

"Well then perhaps a riddle will start you talking. With pointed fangs it sits and waits-"

That was an old one, everybody knew that one (hopefully) it was a stapler. But I kept my mouth shut.

"Still nothing? Alright then-" he glanced down to my ID tag "Bethany, or is it Beth?"

I opened my mouth and closed it again. I couldn't.

He paused for a few seconds before rattling on,

"I think I'll call you Beth, I always was one for nicknames." God was there a period of time when he wasn't using sarcasm.

He sensed my annoyance by the look on my face and his smirk grew wider, apparently enjoying making me squirm.

A small part of my brain that wasn't panicking registered that I had been right; he was good looking and apparently a narcissist because of it. Something about those dimples…

"Inspection! Everybody sound off!"

I stood at attention as the 'yes sirs' came down the line. Eventually it came to me and I reluctantly yelled "Yes sir!" firmly. I winced as a slight growl came from the cell behind me causing my cheeks to heat up like they always did at the most inopportune times. The inspection officer moved on and I stood like a statue, waiting for something to happen.

"Dumbass…huh?" I shivered internally and looked slowly into the room. His voice had changed, not holding playful sarcasm, but a menacing quality as well. I didn't like it one bit.

"Why…dumbass?" he hissed next to the glass.

"Cause…it was a simple riddle." What the hell, he couldn't get through that glass anyway.

"Do need to test you again?" he put special emphasis on the word "test" for some reason. In his cell he was leaning against the wall facing me, apparently trying to stay calm but failing in the process. I could tell because his fists were knotting up in his red hair as if trying to pry something forth from the depth.

"Sure, I'll get them all anyway." Wrong thing to say. He clenched his teeth and narrowed his eyes, still in that supposedly relaxed stance he refused to give up even if he looked about ready to slash someone up.

"I know a word with letters three; add to more and fewer there will be."

I thought for a second and answered,

"The word few, that was simple as well."

We kept at this until my lunch break where I trotted away gleefully. I hadn't had this much fun annoying somebody since…ever. I knew I professionally shouldn't be enjoying this so much, but I couldn't stop when I got started.

Every time I answered something right he would sink even deeper into a bad mood. Every answer wrong he would get cocky and brag for ten minutes before asking me another one. I liked it, it kept me from getting bored.