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The Great Seaprune Debacle
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-!-
Subject disappeared for a long time today with Aang. I presume they went to a bigger market town because they returned with seaprunes, which are ridiculously expensive outside of the poles. Aang has presented me with the seaprunes for no other reason than they are my favourite. We are having them for dinner. Sokka is overjoyed.
Subject is perplexed and revolted by seaprunes. Ha! Now he knows how I feel about fireflakes. I have made him promise to eat them because I have tried that vile, horrible flake that he is so fond of. Subject has agreed. He has also agreed to help me prepare them because it is quite labor intensive. Teo and the Duke are watching because apparently seaprunes are the most revolting thing they've ever seen. And for young boys, disgusting things must be observed with great fascination. Sokka is also here, poking seaprunes and making a nuisance of himself.
Toph, Haru and Aang are practicing earthbending. Aang does not want to watch the preparation of Seaprunes, because they wiggle in a way that distresses him. I wonder why he got them for me. He hates seaprunes, as does Toph and I am having to make them an alternative sea prune free soup for dinner.
For everybody who hasn't tried sea prunes… they are in for a real treat!
-!-
Some time later…
-!-
The first seaprune Subject cut open wiggled quite violently, which startled Subject a great deal and he gave what he called "a surprised yelp". Subject actually shrieked in a very unmanly fashion. It was hilarious. I have teased him a great deal about it. Subject has since developed a tendency to talk to the seaprunes while he guts them. He says variations on "You are dead and you don't have any guts so just stop moving" or "Gah! Stop it, you stupid prune!" to seaprunes that won't stop wiggling. Teo and the Duke keep poking Subject's pile of gutted seaprunes which is affecting how much they wiggle. I am making stewed seaprunes in batches and Subject was caught by surprise at how small they get once cooked. Subject actually picked up a seaprune and held it over the pan and said, very sarcastically:
"This prune is the bravest of all prunes. It's looking death right in the face. "
Despite myself, I found it funny. I am surprised by this. Subject has never before shown any hint at having a sense of humor. Teo and the Duke cracked up and wanted a go helping out. Subject was very willing to have help preparing the sea prunes (as he finds the job disgusting) and set Teo and the Duke up with boards and knives (I notice with some relief that he supervised the Duke quiet closely.)
Sokka came back into the kitchen and was prevailed upon to help and soon much sillyness came from the boys section of the kitchen. Sokka, who was telling a story with gestures while holding a sea prune, accidentally whacked Subject in the face with said seaprune.
Subject was not impressed.
Subject retaliated with his own seaprune whack. Then they both just started whacking each other with prunes and the whole thing got very messy. At one point Sokka was giving Subject a seaprune noogie in retaliation for the seaprune noogie that he had received from Subject.
I drew the line there.
I have now banished them both from the kitchen. Teo and the Duke are definitely the more mature ones on that table and are allowed to stay.
-!-
Later still….
-!-
Stewed Seaprunes was a mixed success. They are a very acquired taste, I know, but they are delicious. At least there is more for me and Sokka (who has finished off everybody else's share.) Stewed seaprunes are way better than fireflakes at least. Toph and Subject were sitting together and they thought I could not hear them. Toph quietly asked Subject what it looked like and if she should give it a go and try some. She'd only had seaprunes as a kid but she remembered hating them. Subject told her it looked like cat sick that had been poured through a boot but then added that maybe it could be tasty. He then had a mouthful, made the strangest face and told her to stick to her seaprune free soup for her own safety. I made a face at them but I don't know if Subject noticed. Demand on the seaprune free soup increased. Reactions to stewed seaprunes from the stewed seaprune virgins include:
Will drinking milk get rid of this taste? - The Duke (Subject told him, quite sarcastically, that nothing would get rid of this taste. The Duke looked sad. I got him some moon peach juice)
It's not the worst thing I've ever eaten – Teo, (Haru pointed out that when Teo was a refugee before moving to the northern air temple he'd had to eat grass. Teo replied that's what he meant; it wasn't as bad as eating grass. Thanks Teo.)
Ohmygod how could you let me put that in my mouth! -Haru. I am perturbed that this was his exact same reaction to fireflakes. Surely stewed sea prunes is the less repellant food.
Subject tried really hard to be polite and not criticize the stewed seaprunes and had at least four mouthfuls before giving up . I nagged him a little about what he really thought and at first he said it tasted nice. This was patently untrue in subject's opinion so I gave him a glare and nagged him a little more. Eventually he said it tasted like he had eaten a giant block of greasy salt, then drank the saltiest part of the ocean then just poured salt straight from the shaker down his throat. And then added more salt to be on the safe side. Subject is sure this much salt is not good for a person. This coming from Subject! He, of the fireflake addiction? Subject pointed out that maybe some fireflakes added in the simmering process would improve them, just to be cheeky I think. He still hasn't found his fireflakes. Ha!
Aang piped up that seaprunes were ridiculously salty and that was why he went with the seaprune free soup from the start. All eyes then focused on Aang. Haru asked why Aang had got the seaprunes then? Aang went all red and embarrassed and mumbled something incoherent and then scooted away on his scooter. Oh no! Aang has been spending too much time with Subject and his manner of speech is contagious!
Still it is a little weird.
Things I learned about Subject
Subject does have a sense of humor, but it buried very deep underneath many layers of grumpiness. But it is still there.
Subject will eat something he hates just to be polite.
Subject has big flashes of immaturity, especially when he is around Sokka (see seaprune noogie).
Subject was, for the most part, helpful in the preparation of stewed seaprunes, even though he found the task disgusting.
Subject is freak out by things that keep moving on the chopping board after you've cut off their head.
Subject is very into knife safety and good knife handling and explained this at length to the Duke, who I don't think was listening the whole time.
Subject finds seaprunes too salty.
Subject is doing the dishes on his own because apparently this was 'my night.' I feel like I should go and help him.
-!-
Later still….
-!-
I am beside myself with rage and it is all Subject's fault! I take back every nice thing I've written about Subject, ever!
Subject and I were clearing away dinner and I was talking about the weirdness of Aang's behavior and grilling Subject about what they did that day. Subject said that Aang just wanted to do something nice for his girlfriend.
Meaning me.
Meaning that Subject thinks that Aang and I are boyfriend and girlfriend.
Where did Subject get an idea like that? I was quite cross. I got a bit irate with Subject and Subject got a bit alarmed and tried to calm me down. I just… I just hate being referred to as the Avatar's girl. I am my own person. I belong to myself and even if me and Aang were going out I would not want to be known as the Avatar's girl!
I am Katara.
I am a master waterbender in my own right and it is irritating and Gah! I ranted in this vein for some time. I have a lot of thoughts on the issue. But I couldn't believe that I was ranting about it to Subject of all people. Subject just listened and didn't interrupt; well I didn't really give him a chance. When I had ranted myself out I told Subject that I didn't want to talk anymore and we should just wash is silence and started ignoring him and his various attempts at conversation.
Then Aang came and said he wanted to speak to me and I was feeling grumpy and out of sorts and it was all Subject's fault. Subject was making some sort of gesture behind my head but I was ignoring him. Because he is a seaprune hating jerk. I left Subject with the dishes (serves him right!) and followed Aang.
We walked for a long time in silence. It was a little awkward. I was so worried that Aang would want to talk about that time we kissed and if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend (Subject seems to think we are already.) I just…I don't have an answer for him. I don't know! He is my best friend and I do love him but I don't know. He surprised me with that kiss and I don't know.
Aang started talking about the seaprunes and I felt this sense of rising dread..like oh no, here it comes. But then he abruptly changed tact and started talking about Subject and Subject's girlfriend back in the firenation.
Gloomy hairbuns!
Whatever did Subject see in Gloomy hairbuns! Maybe it was because she was so moody and he was so moody and they would just moody at each other until one of them went off to write some sad poems about how nobody understands them. Friggin Subject. Of course he'd go for the only person on the planet grumpier than him.
I was very thrown by this change of topic but any topic was better than what I thought Aang wanted to talk about. He started talking about how he and Subject had been talking. (About me? Oh god, I hope not!) He and Subject, according to Aang have been talking about Subject's girlfriend a lot. Apparently Subject is not very good at expressing himself and his feelings with words (no surprise there).
But Subject had some words of wisdom for Aang regarding relationships that Aang wished to impart to me:
1) Honesty is important. Subject was not honest with Gloomy Hairbuns, and that's why it couldn't work between them. Now he feels guilty about that. (I'm sure that is just one of many fish in the Guilty Sea for Subject.)
2) It is important to let people know how you feel even, if you can't say it with words. Subject would apparently show how he felt by doing nice things for his girlfriend and making sure she knew she was special to him. Subject said that he always got Gloomy Hairbuns things that she had mentioned wanting in passing, or nice things that he thought she'd like or her favourite food ( fruit tarts.) Thank goodness it wasn't fireflakes because I'm sure Subject would eat them all before he could give them to her.
Aang went on about Subject and his girlfriend and favourite foods as expressions of feelings and gave me a meaningful look and it got awkward again.
I knew what Aang was getting at. I'm not an idiot. But I did not want to have this conversation with him.
So I started to rant about how I didn't want to hear about the relationship woes of Subject and Gloomy Hairbuns and about how Subject was an absolutely terrible role model and a dreadful source of relationship advice and Aang would be better off erasing everything Subject told him about relationships from his head and that I was going to have a word to Subject in the morning about not giving out relationship advice in the future. Because he sucked at it. Aang looked like he wanted to say something else but I stormed off in high dudgeon.
Obviously Subject has put Aang up to this. This whole awkward little moment is all of Subject's making. He's put ideas in Aang's head! Ideas about giving me seaprunes as a way of showing love! Ideas about us becoming a couple. Subject has put me in a very difficult position and I am so cross with him right now. I mean, did Subject even consult me before launching Operation Seaprune! No! No, Subject did not. Subject just made one big assumption and assumed I would welcome a demonstration of affection and raised Aang's hopes and awkward issues and in short: Everything is Subject's fault.
I can't be angry at Aang. It's like being angry at a baby rabbirroo. I have been short with Aang possible only three times in the entire time I've known him and I've felt so terrible about it each time. However, I am short with Subject all the time and if I have to be mad at somebody then I am glad I can be mad at Subject. Because he sucks!
Tomorrow morning Subject will feel my wrath!
He would feel it now, but he had finished the dishes and gone to bed by the time I got back to the dishes.
Things I learned about subject:
Subject never ceases to irritate me!
Subject makes awkward situations worse!
Subject went out with Gloomy Hairbuns and got her fruit tarts and now thinks he is an expert on relationships! Pah!
I feel quite grump with Gloomy Hairbuns too!
However all I know about her is that she likes knives, fruit tarts and Subject. Probably in that order.
-!-
The next morning…
-!-
I got up ridiculously early as is Subject's habit. I wanted to shout at him as soon as possible. I found him training and doing various sun salutes, shirtless. Oh no! Subject thinks he can distract me with shirtlessness but he can't. I stomped in, told Subject to follow me and walked to the orchard because I could shout at him there and not be overheard or wake the others.
Subject and I have now had a rather large argument.
I ranted. I shouted. I stomped my foot at one point. I have almost ranted myself hoarse. I ranted about what the bloody hell did Subject think he was doing? Giving relationship advice to Aang! I ranted about how rude and mean it was to set someone up like that and how awful Subject was for encouraging Aang. I ranted about what an awkward position Subject had put me in and how Subject better bloody well undo whatever he did to make Aang buy me seaprunes because I didn't even know if I wanted seaprunes from Aang in that way. There was more about Subject's general jerkiness as a person and well as a few insults to Gloomy Hairbuns and their 'relationship' as well. He got a bit defensive over that last part. Well he got a bit defensive over all of it, but especially that last part.
Subject got a bit cross with me and said what was he meant to think; with the way Aang goes on and on and on about me and how wonderful I am and about how he wants to kiss me again. When had this conversation taken place? I have been stalking Subject most carefully lately and I have never overheard a hint of this conversation!
Subject doesn't feel that he did anything wrong, but that he just made an honest mistake. When Subject feels awkward or feels that he is in the wrong, he is just a big blob of social ineptitude, but when Subject is really angry and when he feels justified in his position, he can actually be quite articulate. I am surprised by this.
Subject started going on about firebending (fie upon firebending!) and blue fire and emotions. According to Subject, you need to be calm and have control of your emotions to produce blue fire. I now understand why Subject cannot do it. He is a veritable emotional soup in person form, who feels six different emotions at any given moment.
Subject thought Aang would be able to do it easily because he is quite calm and cheerful and didn't seem to have any emotional turmoil. Aang struggled with blue fire and got a bit despondent about struggling. Subject suggested they take Appa for a fly to cheer Aang up. On Appa, he asked Aang if anything would be affecting his emotions. Aang mentioned me. At length. And in such a way that left Subject with the idea that we were boyfriend and girlfriend who were having problems, not boy and girl who are friends… who once kissed. Subject dispensed his (terrible) relationship advice in the hope that he could help Aang 'fix' the situation. He mentioned fruit tarts as an expression of feeling and Aang latched onto the idea of favourite foods as an expression of love. They went to get sea prunes.
When Subject realized my feelings on the matter last night over dishes, he tried to discourage Aang as best he could with gestures. He said regardless of his actions, Aang was going to keep wanting to have this conversation with me whether I wanted him to or not. Subject claims he was only trying to be helpful and did the best he could with the information he had. Subject also claims I have no right to get all mad and angry and up in his face about it
I have every right to get all mad and angry and up in his face about it!
But at that moment I felt the prickle of tears and the tightening at the back of my throat. I was so mad and full of feelings that I was sure I was going to start crying right there. I will not, under any circumstances, cry in front of Subject. So I bended the water in the fountain at Subject and froze him against a tree and ran away like a little girl.
I am hiding from Subject now.
I am hiding from Aang.
In fact, I think I am hiding from everybody.
-!-
Incredibly unusual afternoon.
I had hidden from everybody since my argument with Subject. Subject was looking for me and I kept changing my hiding place and it was like an elaborate game of hide and seek. I am so much smarter than him. When the others woke up and realized I was missing, everybody started looking for me. So I went back to the orchard and climbed the big tree and hid amongst the foliage. Toph cannot sense me when I am in the tree. I waited there for a long time. While I was in the tree I realized I was probably a bit unreasonable with Subject. But this situation is infuriating and I have to be mad at somebody.
The others had all wanted to know why I had run away. At that point, they were all in the kitchen I was in one of the freakishly high airbender cupboards so I heard every word. I thought Subject was really going to embarrass me by telling everyone what I was so mad about. But Subject didn't. Subject said we had a big argument (over fireflakes) and he had been a jerk and it had all been his fault. The others all believed this. They have seen enough of my and Subject's arguments to know that they can get out of hand.
Anyway I was sitting in the tree, thinking about how Subject hadn't embarrassed me when he easily could have. I was thinking that maybe, and only maybe, Subject is not such a terrible person. He's not a great person mind, but he's not terrible. He probably did sincerely want to help me and Aang with our problems in his Subject way. Then it was like I had summoned Subject with my thoughts because at that moment he was at the bottom of the tree and he had found me.
Boo.
He yelled up that running away never works in the long term. I yelled back that running away had worked great in the short term. He started to climb the tree and I pegged bits of leaf and twig at him while he ascended. I wasn't really angry at him then, but it seemed like a me thing to do.
Soon Subject and I were sitting across from each other in the tree and Subject started to apologize for putting me in an awkward position. He hadn't realized how I felt about seaprunes. I think seaprunes was Subject's code word for having a relationship with Aang. Subject had just taken Aang's word for it and Aang had been going on about kissing me and Subject had just assumed things. Subject said that he never meant to upset me. It was a very sincere apology. I have accepted it. Something in the way Subject bit his bottom lip was very convincing.
We sat in the tree for a while until I was ready to go back. What is wrong with me lately? I have been so emotional and have been behaving ridiculously. I am obviously hanging around Subject too much. He is perpetually being emotional and ridiculous.
Then…I don't know what happened…maybe the smell of moon peaches was affecting my brain…but I started talking to Subject about my doubts and feelings and how do you know if you are ready and its right? Subject said I would just know when I was ready and it was right because I wouldn't have these doubts. I asked him if that's how it was with Gloomy Hairbuns and he confessed he still had doubts about things with her, but she was his best friend back in the firenation and he had hoped that the doubts would go away in time. But that in the end it was probably a good thing that they broke up because she deserved better. I think Gloomy Hairbuns could do worse than someone who brings her a fruit tart everyday and still mopes about her for ages after breaking up.
It had been nice talking with Subject. And that is weird. I shouldn't want to divulge things to Subject. Because he is Subject and he's a jerk! And you can trust him as far as you can throw him! And he made fun of seaprunes! Close proximity to Subject's firebending is obviously melting my brain.
What is wrong with me?
Things I learned about Subject:
Subject feels quite badly for upsetting me and making things awkward, especially as he thought he was making things better.
Subject didn't embarrass me when he could have. I am oddly touched by this.
Subject is actually a good listener.
Subject has a habit of biting the left corner of his bottom lip before he apologizes.
Subject also has a slight overbite. I find it oddly charming. I can understand why Gloomy Hairbuns would want to kiss him. Not to say that I would want to kiss him myself, just that I can see where the temptation might come from.
Subject and Gloomy Hairbuns have been intimate. Not sure how I feel about this. Cross, I think. But I thought I should record it here anyway.
Subject claims Gloomy Hairbuns is the only thing he misses about the firenation. Gloomy Hairbuns? Really?
Subject has poor taste in women. Obviously.
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Author's note: Hello lovely readers! You have made it to the end of the Great Seaprune Debacle! Thank you for reading. Next up, the boys will go missing for a period of time.
But for now, a brief explanation:
Seaprunes. Avatar wiki says they are a sea vegetable that is like a sea cucumber -but they are definitely a vegetable because of Aang eating one. I politely disagree, sea cucumbers are an animal not a vegetable and I imagine seaprunes are the same. Aang did have one mouthful, but I'm pretty sure he spat it out (either because of the taste or the animalness of the prunes.) Then he ate some later when he was having a crisis on Aangness. I hand wave anything eaten in a crisis.
I imagine that seaprunes are a lot like sea cucumbers: they are an invertebrate, nasty tasting, bottom dweller. But in my imagination only, they are also a bit like an eel- that's why they wiggle so much upon being prepared. Aang would have bought live ones in a waterfilled box of some description, so that they would be fresh when he got them back to Katara. If you have seen the supersizers go: (a brilliant british reality TV show about the food of the past) there is a fabulously hilarious scene where the chef had to prepare an eel. I got the idea for Zuko's girly squeal and general discomfit with something that keeps moving after you've chopped off its head from that scene.
Zuko sees eating the seaprunes as a diplomatic exercise in not pissing Katara off. So he gives it his best attempt.
This is a very relationshippy chapter, so if you are interested, here are some thoughts of relationships.
Relationships:
Aang and Katara: I think even without the alternative of Zutara, Kataang wouldn't have sat well with me. A couple of reasons for this, but the one that came out in this chapter was that they never talk about that kiss. Between the day of black sun and the Ember Island players. If they were meant to be this fabulous love, there should have been a few more kisses in between those two or at least allusions to them. But there just wasn't anything.
But as it stands, I was left with the overwhelming feeling that Katara simply didn't feel the same way about Aang but really didn't want to hurt Aang's feelings by saying so. I'm sure Katara loves Aang, but I think it's very much like a friend or a brother. The lack of any sort of ust tension between them in these episodes is I think partly down to Katara desperately hoping that of she ignores it (Aang's crush), it will go away. She doesn't want to talk about it, or deal with and to be fair, she has a lot on her plate without adding love shenanigans to the pile. We are clearly shown Aang's crush, but we never get anything about how Katara feels (YMMV) and I felt like Aang got her in the end as almost…err…a prize for being a good boy. Aang is fairly certain of his feelings and I can't believe that he wouldn't have once, during all that time between DoBS and EIP, tried another attempt at showing Katara how he feels. So I wrote this chapter about how I thought that would have gone down and to get some of these relationship issues into the light.
I also always felt that Aang was much more compatible with some one like Tylee. Think about it. Together they would travel the globe being ridiculously perky and they'd have eight children and their combined perkiness would actually cancel each other out for at least one of these eight children and baby eight would be a big old gloom fest. And it would be hilarious. This is probably an idea for another fic.
Aang and Zuko: I think at one point Aang would have confided in Zuko. It just makes sense for me. Especially as Zuko is teaching him firebending and firebending seems to be quite closely linked to the bender's emotions and their control of these emotions, to me at least. If Aang was struggling with firebending, there could have been an emotional root to it and I do think Zuko would have asked. Also, Zuko is older, and has had experience in relationships previously and I think he would listen to Aang and not belittle his feelings. So I think it's not unreasonable for Aang to confide in him and for Zuko to suggest: maybe honestly telling Katara how he feels, even if it is through snacks. At this point Zuko thinks it a mutual crush of awkward and this is his terrible attempt of FAIL at playing matchmaker. Zuko at this point, may be developing a little crush on Katara himself, but he is ignoring it as best he can. His main focus is on Aang and preparing him to fight the fatherlord.
Zuko and Mai: I think Mai was one of the very few people in Zuko's life previously who wasn't a complete jerkface to him, so naturally he has a lot of love for her. I don't think they would have ever worked out long term, reasons for which will be in another chapter. But I totally get why they gravitate towards each other the way they do. I do think there is a great deal of affection there, but not love, if you know what I mean. Zuko does feel guilty about skipping out on her and does miss her, while at the same time, he's fairly sure he made the right decision.
Also: Katara is irrationally jealous of Mai, though she'd never describe this feeling as such in a million years. But it is why she calls Mai- Gloomy Hairbuns, instead of Mai. Gloomy Hairbuns is much longer to write after all.